“Lisa-yah! Have you seen my guitar?” I loudly said as I kept walking around our apartment, looking for my guitar.

“No. Try to ask Jisoo.” Lisa, who was sitting on the couch, answered while having her full attention to the phone, probably talking to someone else AGAIN.

I sighed and went to the spare room where Jisoo was sleeping. I knocked on the door lightly, opened and peeked from it. “Jisoo? Have you seen my guitar?” I waited for a while to see if she would respond, then went closer and asked again. “Jichu?” Jisoo was asleep soundly, I smiled knowing that she was finally having a good rest unlike these past months ago.

I left the room, closed the door lightly just to go back to Lisa, still busy with her phone. “She’s asleep.” Lisa only nodded that made me a bit irritated. Why is she so passive again? Can’t she at least show a bit of courtesy and try to talk to me?

I looked at Lisa once again and noticed how the girl was completely dressed like she was going out somewhere. I sat beside her and asked. “Hey, Lisa. Are you busy tonight?”

“Why did you ask?” Duh? Isn’t it obvious? This girl can be pretty dumb at times. Lisa looked at me, placed her phone down.

“No-nothing. I just asked.” Well actually, you look like you’re going to a fancy party or something that I shouldn’t mind because I’m just your friend whom you sometimes treat like your girlfriend but I don’t know who the heck I really am to you.

“Hm. I’ll be going out with some friends.” Her reply made me snapped back to reality, but when I stared at her, she has her attention back to the phone.

“Uh.. Are you going now?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Be safe.”

“I will and also I’ll be home late, so don’t wait for me.” She stood up to place the bag on her shoulder, kissed my cheeks and ruffled my hair.

Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t wait for you anymore. I have been controlling myself to burst out all these feelings of heaviness inside my heart. As much as I really wanted to know who I really am to her, I kept it to myself because I know for sure she would try her best to ignore the topic, even though I badly needed to distinguish whatever this kind of relationship that we have.

I looked at Lisa once again as she left the place, somehow wishing that she’d come back and decided to stay with me instead. I gave it a few minutes but sadly, she didn’t return. I groaned deeply once again.

I knew that Jisoo wasn’t the only one who was heartbroken right now. Ever since the last time Jennie and Jisoo fought, they never spoke to each other again. We miss her so much, especially Jisoo, which was absolutely obvious because she has been sulking for a long time now.

I continued to search around for my guitar when I passed by Lisa’s room, went inside and saw my precious lovely guitar beside her bookshelf. Pff. Liar. Why didn’t she even asked me to borrow this? All she had to do was ask and I’ll lend it to her without having second thoughts.

I saw some music sheets and thought that maybe Lisa was trying to learn how to play the guitar. Why didn’t she asked me to teach her instead? Is she trying to impress someone? Is she seeing someone else? She’s been going out almost every day and she barely talk to me unlike before. Did she actually found someone new? Ahh! I’m thinking too much.

I picked up my guitar and went back to my room to play the new song that I learned last week since I’ve been practicing it for a while now. I first heard this song on the radio when I was driving on my way to Alice’s (my sister) place. Listened to it carefully and that’s it! I knew that the song perfectly fits the situation I was currently dealing with.

Good thing the weather was so beautiful today, indeed a very nice scene to look at it while playing and singing my heart out. Once I closed my eyes, I began to strum my guitar and hummed along with it. This is what I need right now.

NOW PLAYING: DIVE - ED SHEERAN

Maybe I came on too strong
Maybe I waited too long
Maybe I played my cards wrong
Oh just a little bit wrong
Baby I apologize for it

Lisa and I were both transferees who met when we were in first year, almost half of the first semester already, which also happened to be my classmate too. Maybe that’s how we became close (or way too closer right now). That was also the time when we met Jennie and Jisoo, whom we thought were siblings because of their surnames and how they look-a-like. I can still remember it all like it was just yesterday.

*FLASHBACK*

“Hi! You must be, Rosé! I’m Lisa, the one you’ll be living with at the apartment! It’s nice to meet you! Let’s be friends!” Lisa almost breathlessly said because of talking too fast, while holding both of my hands. It looked like she had been waiting for me since she was just outside the place and indeed showed how enthusiastic she really was in meeting me. I guess I was lucky enough to have her instead of someone who’s a total opposite of her. However, I wasn’t expecting someone friendly that’s why I prepared myself in case I encounter a very rude individual for the entire semester or worst, my whole college life.

“And you must be a foreigner, not because of your looks but because of your accent. You aren’t quite fluent in Korean too and I feel quite relieved to know that. “ I smiled. “Yes, I am Rosé and you might also notice my accent, I grew up in Australia and just got back here in Korea so I’m still having a little trouble with the way I speak.”

“See? We’ll get along very well!”

We went together in the university. Along the way, it was a good thing there were some good Samaritans that helped us to locate our classrooms.

“Do you think we’ll do good?” Lisa asked.

“Of course, yes, silly. We’ll do better.”

“But it’s hard for us especially when we’re not that fluent in Korean yet.”

Lisa and I were busy talking on our way to our first class when someone tapped our backs and looked at the person who did it. She was certainly a pretty young lady with a charming gummy smile.

“Don’t need to worry, ladies. I’ll help you since we’re on the same year too.” She spoke fluently in English that made me smile because I can finally talk to someone again with the language I’m comfortable with and would probably have someone that could teach me in Korean.

“Oh, thank you so much! That’s so kind of you. Miss?”

“Jennie. Jennie Kim. I heard about the two new transferees from my best—, I mean, from the president of the student council and it just so happens that I passed by you guys. Where are you heading?”

“Uhh.. building B.. 228” Lisa answered, stuttering a bit.

“Oh! I’m going to that building too! Do you know where it is exactly? I can walk you there since my class is not quite far from yours.” We both nodded hastily that caused the other to giggle.

“Great! Also, let’s have lunch together!”

We continued to talk about school-related topics, wherein she also mentioned about the president of the student council that she can’t stop adoring from the moment she opened it up and even showed us her picture. Lisa and I assumed that they were related because of their surnames and also said that they both look-a-like. She blushed a bit and brushed it off instead, which I thought was her own way to avoid any further questions regarding them.

When we reached our room, she gave us her number in case we wouldn’t be able to see each other after the first subject. Jennie insisted to have lunch with her to share more about the university and at the same time, know each other more.

“Well, at least we got the chance to be-friend someone who’s not just pretty but also very kind.” Lisa said in a not-so-fluent Korean language.

“Yes! I bet we’ll survive this semester somehow with the big help from them and also since we have each other.”

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I could fall or I could fly
Here in your airplane
And I could live, I could die
Hanging on the words you say
I've been known to give my all
And jumping in harder than 10,000 rocks on the lake

Lisa, the third most beautiful human being (first is my mom and second is my sister, Alice) I’ve ever met in my entire life, (Sorry Jichu and Jennie. Can’t help myself from falling in love with this evil maknae) not just from the outside but also from the inside. I could proudly say that she wasn’t really a typical girl and was absolutely one-of-a-kind because of her unique personality. Sadly, I can only be proud by saying it but not as proud as others expect me to be because she’s.. she’s not mine and I’m not hers…officially.

So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
And don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you

Lisa had always been so sweet to me (or not just me but with other girls as well), especially in times when I really needed someone to lean on. But there was this one extraordinary moment that stood out in my memory that surprisingly changed our lives since then.

She saw me crying in my room and told her that I didn’t pass my choir audition, which she knows how I truly wanted to join and even prayed for it since I entered the university. She then hugged me tight, made me cry on her shoulder, told me to not stop myself from crying and just let it all out. So, I did as what I was told but when I started blaming and hating on myself, she did something astonishing that I felt like time had suddenly stopped. She kissed me and unexpectedly, I kissed her back, not in a lustful way but a real passionate kiss.

It wasn’t