Some days passed and Yihan was being good to him as per his usual after he takes out his anger. Jaejoong was enjoying this time. Yihan was more attentive and loving. It was how Jaejoong hoped his marriage would be.

Jaejoong stood at the counter of his bakery. It was an ordinary day. Business wasn’t slow but it wasn’t outrageously busy either. He took his time as he cleaned the countertop. He stopped for a moment to look at the cakes he had displayed. They looked so good he wanted to steal one just to try.

“Which one do you want, I’ll buy it for you.” He heard a deep yet familiar voice.

Jaejoong turned around and saw Yunho there. He didn’t hear the bell above the door ring so his appearance was just like magic.

“Yu-yunho?” Jaejoong stammered.

“Did I surprise you?” He smiled. “The bell did ring.” He pointed to the door.

“I’m just surprised. You’re here?” He was confused.

“Hey!” Changmin’s voice chimed over the counter. “You’re Yunho right?” He waved at him.

“Yes and you are Changmin. It’s nice to see you again. I’m so glad you got to come to my party but sad that you left early.” Yunho waved back.

“Yeah, had to turn in early because I had a lot of orders the next day. It was fun though. Thanks for inviting Jaejoong and me.” He smiled and leaned on the countertop.

“You are welcome.” Yunho stepped closer to the counter. “Would it be okay if I borrow Jaejoong for the day?” He asked.

“Wh-what?” Jaejoong went to the counter.

“Yeah sure. I don’t see why not. Everything is taken care of. I can do the closing tonight.” He smiled.

“What about my permission?” Jaejoong asked. “What if I don’t want to go?”

“Forgive me.” Yunho turned to him and bowed. “I have something I wanted to show you. I was wondering if you could spare me a little bit of your time today. Please?” He looked to him.

“Go ahead Jaejoong. It will be better than being here on a nice day. Go out and enjoy it.” Changmin urged him.

Jaejoong felt unsure about it and looked between the two men. “How long will we be away?”

“Just a few hours. I promise to get you back at a reasonable time and I don’t want your fiance to worry.” Yunho promised.

Jaejoong turned to Changmin and he seen that sly smile on his face. “I don’t know.” He whispered. Is it really safe to around him? Jaejoong wondered.

“Just go, I can handle things here. Besides it’s almost closing time. We can spare it.” Changmin nodded.

Jaejoong was hesitant but if he didn’t he would be stuck with Changmin explaining why he didn’t want to go. Honestly, Jaejoong didn’t know if he could be alone with Yunho. He finally sighed after a minute. “Okay but I can’t be out too late.”

He grabbed his coat and left with Yunho. He can handle himself right? He’ll have to.

Yunho led Jaejoong to a fancy luxury car. Of course it fit Yunho’s lavish lifestyle. He got into the car and Yunho got in the driver’s side. The car started and it barely made a noise. It was quiet.

“Where are we going?” Jaejoong asked as the car pulled away from the sidewalk.

“We just purchased land at the edge of town. It’s going to be the place for one of my new factories. There will be several more factories but this one will be our first.” Yunho drove without taking his eyes off the road.

“I already went to your party. Why do I need to see this land?” Jaejoong wondered.

“That was the groundbreaking for my new office this is for my factory. I am really excited about it and wanted to share the moment.” Yunho glanced at Jaejoong. “I will be on my best behaviour. I promise.” He smiled and turned back to the road.

Jaejoong turned to the window and watched as they passed by cars and through the streets. Soon the traffic lessened until they were approaching the end of the city.

“Did Bo Kyung get back yet?” Jaejoong finally asked to break the heavy silence.

“Actually she broke up with me over text message yesterday morning. I asked to take Jiji with me. I didn’t want them there alone. I don’t know when she would be back. She gave the cat to me instead because she can’t watch them anymore.” Yunho kept driving. He seemed unfazed.

“I’m sorry.” Jaejoong whispered.

“I am fine. It was a meaningless relationship.” Yunho shrugged his shoulders.

There was a long silence as Jaejoong took in the new information. He is single now. There is nothing holding Yunho back if he pursues Jaejoong but he is engaged. Yunho wouldn’t disrespect that.

What does he feel towards me? Jaejoong wondered. He hasn’t done anything to pursue him. Maybe his feelings have changed. Perhaps Jaejoong was the only man he has been with. He was engaged from before. He remembered what he told him at the party.

Jaejoong looked to Yunho. “You said you were engaged at the party. What happened to her?”

“Well there wasn’t a her.” Yunho laughed. “I wondered when you would ask me about that. Well since we still a little have a bit longer to go I guess I can talk about them.”

“You were engaged to another man?” Jaejoong was surprised.

“His name was Shin DaeHyun. He was working in the same company as I was in America. Our desks were next to each other. It was a meaningless job but it was for a branch of my father’s company.” Yunho cleared his throat and his expression changed to a more serious tone. “DaeHyun had this amazing idea and he shared it with me. We researched of days and we found a way to save customers money by finding cheaper materials but the company thought it was laughable. They were overcharging customers for a product that could be made for a cheaper price.” He paused to turn a corner.

“So you two developed this material?” Jaejoong looked to Yunho.

“Yes. After a year we perfected it and left the company to begin our own. Which might I add is the same company I am head of. We became lovers over a drunken night of celebrating our victory. Soon I moved in with him. My father found out of me leaving his company to start up my own company, a company that would challenge his, he cut off my money. He refused to speak to me after learning of my engagement. So I took on odd jobs two sometimes three jobs at a time. DaeHyun did the same and it is through our own sweat that we were able to continue on as we had.” It was as if a heavy cloud passed over him.

“Where is he? Did you two break up?” Jaejoong wanted to know.

The car to another road and Yunho slowed the car until he parked it. There was lots of heavy machinery there that had already begun digging the ground but at that moment there was no one around. The machines just littered the ground, frozen in their tasks.

“Come.” Yunho got out of the car and Jaejoong followed.

They stood in front of the car. Jaejoong stood next to him and it felt lonely to see the cold, hard metal machinery there unmoving.

“DaeHyun and I stood outside when our first factory went up in America. We watched as they made their first break into the soil. We celebrated by opening a bottle of champagne and we drank it while watching the machines work.” He laughed weakly. “He proposed to me. Can you believe it? We were going to wait to get married until we move the company here. It was our main goal. We both wanted to be successful in our home country We were happy for four years.” Yunho stepped away from the car. “He collapsed into my arms one day. He said it was because he didn’t eat. It was okay. Then a second time he collapsed and I wasn’t there to catch him.” He paused and looked away. “He said Yunho, I want you to take this dream of mine as far as you can even if I am not there.” He looked back to Jaejoong as he bit his lips  “I didn’t know he was sick or how sick he was. We couldn’t afford healthcare and so when we got him to a doctor it was too late. The cancer was far too advanced to be treated. He passed away months after your father.”

“Yunho.” Jaejoong’s chest filled with a sadness.

Yunho stood silently and Jaejoong looked over the machinery.

“If he was alive, I’d be planning my wedding too. I never felt this alone in a long time.” Yunho exhaled a tired breath. “He should’ve been here. This is his dream. He should be opening that bottle of champagne and we could be toasting our success but he’s not.” Yunho turned to Jaejoong. “You see just because I smile doesn’t mean I haven’t suffered too.”

Jaejoong looked to Yunho. He wanted to hold him and comfort him but he knew he shouldn’t.

“Our marriage broke me too. I was not happy to divorce you. I was so heartbroken I nearly drowned myself in alcohol. Nothing could ease that pain. I thought of calling you or running back and seeing you but the pain of it all was too much.. You were the great love of my life and that is not to take away the memory of Daehyun. I loved him too but he isn’t here. When I am near you or I see your face, suddenly the pain of it all is gone.” Yunho stepped closer and closer to Jaejoong until they inches from each other.

Jaejoong felt a little worried of the closeness and tried to pull away but Yunho held him still at his waist. “Yunho?” He looked down to the hands that held him still.

“You make me want to become a bad man, Jaejoong. I want to kiss you, to touch you and to tease you but you are tied to another. Still that feeling is there. It’s like what I felt ten years ago was hibernating and now with you so close it is awake. I still want you Jaejoong.” Yunho leaned forward but not to kiss him but to rest his forehead against his. “Tell me you still want me too.”

Jaejoong lifted his hands and held Yunho’s head between his hands.  “I can’t” He pulled away from him. “I think we should get going.” He went back to the car and got inside.

An even bigger sadness filled his chest as he waited for Yunho to get into the car. Yunho is a great man but Jaejoong wasn’t. Yunho deserved better.

Soon Yunho got into the car and they left. The ride was a silent one and the quietness seemed to separate them as each of them became lost within their own thoughts.

Soon enough they pulled up to the bakery. Jaejoong looked to the dark bakery. Changmin must have closed it already. Jaejoong remained in the car. He felt as if he was frozen. There was so much he wanted to say but how can he say them. Ten years of sadness weighed on him heavily.

“Ten years have passed. I did not want to sign those divorce papers. My heart wasn’t broken. My heart was torn from my chest. I felt dead. I needed you in those ten years. How can you come back and want it to be the same? I am engaged and I love him. He didn’t have to make an agreement with my father behind my back. I have to go. Yihan is waiting.” Jaejoong gathered what strength he had left and got out of the car.

He walked away and saw as Yunho drove away. The sadness crept up on him like a cold wind chill. He took a breath. 

I still want you.