Jaejoong sat outside the office. He looked over to the secretary who was busy flipping through papers and piling them onto one another. He looked to the envelope in his hands. It contained their old divorce papers along with new divorce papers. He was ready to tell Yunho about it and if Yunho chooses not to get back together the new papers were there. He took a breath. He had a whole week to make himself ready for this.

 

The door opened and he looked up and seen Yunho.

 

“Jaejoong?” He looked confused. “What are you…”

 

“He has been waiting for a few minutes. I told him you don’t have time but he insisted on waiting.” The secretary stood up.

 

“She is right. I have a meeting to get to in ten minutes. I have no time to spare.” Yunho handed her even more papers to her already tall pile of papers.

 

“I just need a minute. I won’t be too long.” Jaejoong stood up.

 

Yunho sighed. “Tell them I got held up in traffic but will be there soon.” He looked to his secretary before he went back into his office.

 

“Yes.” She bowed went back to her papers.

 

Jaejoong followed behind Yunho and stepped into the office. He closed the door behind him.

 

“So tell me what is this you need to talk about so urgently. Perhaps it has something to do with the paper.” Yunho sat on the corner of his desk.

 

“Paper?” Jaejoong was confused.

 

Yunho picked up a newspaper from his desk and flipped past a few pages and handed it to Jaejoong.

 

“I am engaged. She is the daughter of one of the company heads that I have been dealing with. They thought it was a suitable match.” Yunho shrugged his shoulders.

 

Jaejoong looked to the newspaper article and saw the bold headline followed by two separate pictures of the two.

 

“Oh.” Something seemed to break within him. He put the paper to the side.

 

“You didn’t know?” Yunho asked.

 

Jaejoong looked down and shook his head. He saw the envelope in his hand.

 

“You said it would be okay and I waited long enough.” Yunho’s voice went soft.

 

“Yes, of course.” Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to look to Yunho. “An arranged marriage?”

 

“I have no interest in going through the motions of meeting someone and falling in love with them. This is for the best. I want a family.” His was soft yet there seemed to be anger hidden there.

 

Jaejoong didn’t know what to say or what to do.

 

“You played me again didn’t you. You slept with me in an attempt to keep me. You told me to wait but after a month I found out that your engagement was off. I was hopeful that you would come to me soon but four months came and went and still you were gone. Not a word and now you are here. I don’t know why you’re here but I am tired of this. I am tired of this push and pull game. I have a life that needs to be lived.” He cleared his throat. “Her father made the suggestion and I agreed to it. It’s simple and easy.” He sighed. “I done with you.” Yunho stepped away from desk.

 

A knock on the door interrupted them.

 

“Sir, We have to leave. They will leave if we are late.” His secretary peeked into the room.

 

“Of course.” Yunho grabbed his jacket. “You can let yourself out. I am too late already.” He went to the door and quickly left.

 

Jaejoong was left alone in the office. He took a breath and looked to the envelope in his hand.

 

Of course he was foolish to think he would wait this long. It was selfish of him to keep him. Still it hurt a little.

 

He went to the desk and put the envelope there but not before leaving a note that read :You know where to find me : Then he left.

 

Hours later Jaejoong leaned against the counter with his chin in hand and elbow on the countertop. His sighs caught the attention of Changmin.

 

“What is it? You haven’t told me about your meeting with you husband.” Changmin stood next to him.

 

Jaejoong pulled at a discarded newspaper and flipped through it without answering before he gave it to Changmin. Changmin looked through it and then looked back to Jaejoong.

 

“So what does this mean? Did you get a divorce? Did you even give him those papers?” He asked in a hushed voice.

 

“I left them on his desk. He seemed so angry.” Jaejoong shook his head. “Yet just another thing I have messed up in my life. I think I will just become a hermit.” He folded his arms and laid his head upon them. “Changmin I need a break.”

 

“Just go home. We are almost done here anyway. It’s slow today.” He offered his saddened friend.

 

“No that is not the kind of break I need. I just need a break from my life. Hit the reset button or something. I’m just tired of all of this. I found a break in the clouds but then Hurricane Heechul came and stirred things up.” He sighed again. “What am I going to do now?”

 

“Well he has the papers so you did what you could. The rest is up to him. The other storms passed and this will too. You just gotta wait.” Changmin patted him on the shoulder and walked away.

 

Jaejoong stood there and let Changmin’s words sink in. He was right but the waiting it out part seemed a little tougher than the rest. He could get his husband back or he could be getting a divorce.

 

Soon it was time to close. Jaejoong had finished the clean up and Changmin was still busy putting the rest of the things away. The rest of the guys left already. Changmin would join them later while Jaejoong went home alone. He didn’t want to ruin their night out with his mood.

 

“Okay, everything is done. Are you sure you don’t want to come? Come have a drink with us. Nothing can be decided today bu-” Changmin was interrupted by angry banging on the door. “Wha-” He went to the door and looked outside. “It’s him.” He looked to Jaejoong.

 

“What?” Jaejoong went to the door and looked to see Yunho.

 

Changmin opened the door when Yunho knocked on the door again. Yunho burst through the door and Changmin stumbled backwards.

 

“What the hell is this!!!” Yunho rushed to Jaejoong.

 

Jaejoong took a few steps back but Yunho was right there.

 

“You tell me to wait for you and then when my engagement was announced you come back with this!” He screamed at Jaejoong.

 

Changmin could see the fear in Jaejoong and quickly went to help him. He pushed Yunho away and stepped between them.

 

“You need to back off!” Changmin kept his hand up to stop Yunho.

 

Yunho threw the envelope on the floor and stepped away.

 

“Maybe you should leave and come back when you have calmed down.” Changmin kept himself between the two.

 

Jaejoong took a breath to calm himself. He could feel his heart beating. “Changmin, it’s okay.”

 

“What?” Changmin turned to his friend.

 

“This is something I need to speak to him about alone. I’ll be okay.” He stepped out from behind Changmin.

 

Changmin looked to his friend unsure if he should leave him alone especially with someone so angry.

 

“Please” Jaejoong put his hand on his friend’s arm.

 

His friend nodded uneasily. “Okay I’ll give you two some space but I will be outside.” He gave Yunho one last look before he left.

 

Jaejoong waited until Changmin had closed the door. He looked to the envelope on the floor. He went and picked it up.

 

“I didn’t plan this. I didn’t know you were engaged. I was surprised just as much as you but I am not trying to sabotage your engagement.” He kept his gaze on the envelope in his hands.

 

“Then what does this mean?” He seemed a bit calmer but still a little upset.

 

Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know now. I got new divorce papers and put them in with the old ones. Maybe it’s best if you just sign them and I’ll take care of them this time.” He pulled out the new papers he had put in there before. He signed his name quickly on the lines and looked to Yunho.

 

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Jaejoong only every caused the other man hurt and pain. This is the right thing to do but still it was painful for him too because of that last little bit of hope of getting back together with Yunho was dying. Maybe it was best.

 

“What? Just like that?” Yunho shook his head and threw up his hands. “I thought I knew you but I guess I don’t. I don’t understand you Jaejoong.”

 

Jaejoong lowered his gaze to the floor. “I don’t understand myself too. Just sign the papers and we can just go our own way.” He held them out to Yunho.

 

Yunho looked to the fresh white papers in his husband’s hand and then to his husband. He sighed. “No. You need to tell me first why you wanted me to wait and how long you expected me to wait. I have really tried with you. So I deserve an explanation after all of this.”

 

Jaejoong put the envelope and papers on the countertop. “Just sign them.” He reached behind the counter for a pen and laid it next to the papers.

 

“No and I will wait here until you explain yourself.” Yunho grabbed a chair and sat down.

 

Jaejoong was hesitant. He looked to Yunho. “I ruined our marriage. I cheated. I lied. I am the bad guy. I was a horrible person. After our supposed divorce my life was a constant bad dream. Nothing ever worked out until I got this place and then I met Yihan. I thought finally things were going to get better but it didn’t.” He looked away because he couldn’t look into those eyes and tell him. “I loved Yihan even after he beat me. After every time he hit me or yelled at me he would apologize. I forgave him every time too because I believed he would stop. Also a part of me felt like I deserved it. I am a horrible person. I accepted everything bad in my life as punishment for being a bad person.”

 

“Jae…” Yunho whispered.

 

“I-I…” His voice was shaky. “The last time he hit me was the worst. He never hit my face before and then he tried to force himself on me. I fought him. I am a horrible person, Yunho but I don’t deserve that.” He shook his head to try to keep his tears at bay. “I was a walking tragedy and I didn’t want to get you involved in it. Yet you came back every time. I don’t deserve you Yunho but it is the love that we had that gave me the courage to leave Yihan.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yunho stood up from his chair.

 

“Because I didn’t need you to save me. I know you well enough that that is the kind of person you are. This is something I needed to do on my own. This was my battle.” He looked back to the papers on the countertop. “So now you know. Just sign them. Marry that woman and have lots of children. I know you wanted a big family. I’ll never bother you.” He turned away.

 

Yunho looked to Jaejoong for a moment. He didn’t say anything but allowed the silence to fill the distance between them.

 

“Do you want me to sign them?” He asked after a while.

 

“What?” Jaejoong looked back to him.

 

“Do you want me back, Jaejoong. I stood before you three times and wanted you back. What do you want?” Yunho lessened the distance between them. His eyes had a certain gleam to them that seemed to draw Jaejoong in.

 

The whole truth was out and there was nothing to keep them apart any longer.

 

“How can I want you back? Why would you even want me back? I hurt you and I ruin everything between us. So why would you want me?” He asked.

 

Yunho lifted his hands and rested them on Jaejoong’s shoulders. He took a deep breath. “You are my first love but most of all you are the love of my life. Who doesn’t want to spend the rest of their life with that person? So I am asking you what do you want?” Yunho held his arms.

 

Wow, Jaejoong thought. This man is really something. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel the same.

 

Jaejoong nodded his head. “I...I want you back too.”

 

Yunho pulled him close and Jaejoong expected a kiss but he stopped short of their lips meeting. Jaejoong felt Yunho’s breath at his lips. Suddenly Yunho pulled away. He went to gather the papers on the countertop.

 

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” Yunho signed the papers and put them back in the envelope.

 

“What?” Jaejoong was bewildered.

 

“I’ll take care of these personally.” He went for the door. “Goodbye Jaejoong.”  In an instant he left and changmin came back in.

 

“What happened?” Changmin asked.

 

Jaejoong opened his mouth but closed it again when he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He shook his head and left through the open door. He didn’t feel like explaining it. He just wanted to get home.

 

He went straight for his room and without turning on the light he went to his bed and sat down on the corner of it. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Well maybe this time it will stick. Maybe this time they really were done.

 

Jaejoong lied down on the bed. His head felt hot and he blinked a few times as the tears fell from his eyes and rolled down his face. It’s all over.

 

.

..

.

 

“Come on Jaejoong it’s over a week. Let’s go out and get drunk. I will take you a gay bar. I’ve never been to one but maybe it’s best to meet new people.” Changmin tried to cheer up his friend who stood at the counter and stared blankly over it.

 

Jaejoong shook his head. “I just need time Changmin. The storm passed but it was one that has been brewing for a long time. I need a little bit more time to recover from it. You go out with them and have fun. I’ll be okay.”

 

“Jae….” Changmin whined.

 

“Changmin. I’ll be okay.” Jaejoong left Changmin and wandered to the back of the kitchen and passed Kyuhyun who was busy decorating something.

 

He pretended to keep himself busy there but actually all he felt was numb. He was unsure how to feel after all of that but he was doing a lot better than he was doing the first day after. He busied himself when Changmin came back.

 

“What about Siwon? He is a nice guy. I’ve known him for a while.” Changmin whispered.

 

“Really? With my relationship background. You want me to bring that to work?” Jaejoong kept his voice hushed when he seen Siwon walking towards them.

 

“Jaejoong?” Siwon went to him. “Someone is here for you.”

 

“Like I said Changmin, I will be okay.” Jaejoong gave him one last look and went back to the front.

 

Jaejoong gathered whatever happiness he had and smiled before he greeted the person. He inhaled.

 

“Hello?” The person had their back turned.

 

“Hello.” That person turned around and Jaejoong stopped mid step.

 

“Yunho?” Jaejoong stepped back. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I came to give you these.” He had a different envelope and he gave it to Jaejoong.

 

“More papers to sign?” He asked sarcastically.

 

“No, These papers just say our divorce is final. I took care of everything else.” His voice was stiff.

 

“Oh.” Jaejoong tossed them to the side. “Is there anything else?”

 

“Yes.” Yunho lessened the distance between them. “I need to discuss something with you. So how about dinner tonight?”

 

“I think we discussed everything.” Jaejoong crossed his arms.

 

“I haven’t discussed everything. So please. I will back around six this evening. I hope to see you then.” He smiled and left with a small bow.

 

“Was that him?” Changmin was right there.

 

“Of course.” Jaejoong looked to his friend.

 

“Who was that?” Siwon appeared next to Changmin.

 

Jaejoong took the envelope he had tossed onto the counter. “That was my ex-husband. I think it’s time for my break. I am going out for coffee.” He went out the back and went for his car. He sat inside and looked through the envelope of papers that had a bunch of legal jargon. He tossed it to the side after a while.

 

What does he want? He got the divorce. What more could he want? Jaejoong was tired and exhausted by everything that has happened this far. Maybe he should just skip meeting Yunho and just let everything die in the past.

 

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples.

 

The hours passed and soon it was six. Jaejoong cleaned himself up as best as he could. Who knows maybe Yunho would humiliate him again. It was embarrassing enough when Yunho leaned in and then signed the papers.

 

He waited but it wasn’t long. Soon the door opened and there stood Yunho. He smiled and it seemed the whole room got brighter.

 

“Are you ready?” He asked when he approached him.

 

“I guess. I don’t know what I should be ready for.” Jaejoong went for the door. Once outside he looked to Yunho at his side. “Whatever you want to say can you just say it. I don’t want to drag this on over dinner.”

 

“I want dinner. I didn’t eat all day because I was busy. I am hungry and we won’t go far. Just down the street.” Yunho took Jaejoong’s hand and pulled him along.

 

Jaejoong was surprised at the sudden touch and allowed him to pull him along. He was becoming more and more confused as they got closer to the restaurant. When they finally reached the restaurant Yunho let go of his hand. He chose a table next to a window. The setting inside the restaurant itself was intimate and romantic. There were fresh flowers that decorated each table. The silverware was placed on a napkin that was folded delicately. It was all so very inviting.

 

Jaejoong took his seat across from Yunho. He was so into his mind and he felt so out of his element. He felt out of place in such a beautiful place with his ex-husband. This is the kind of setting a person would enjoy with their lover.

 

“Yu-” Jaejoong felt uncomfortable.

 

“Jae,” Yunho held up his hand. “You had your say a few days ago and now I get to have mine.” He cleared his throat. “You had a difficult past and so did I. It’s not easy watching someone you love die. However that is not to take away from your experiences. This is not a contest. I am saying we both had difficult times fall upon us some more than others. I am sorry you went through what you did. I really am. Your right had I known I would have tried to save you. I hurts me to know that you were hurting all the while I was living comfortably. You have changed far so much. I see a stronger Jaejoong before me and I am amazed.”

 

“Yunho.” Jaejoong interrupted him. “What you are saying….I am confused. Our divorce is final and yet you brought me here. What do you want?”

 

“Our marriage was horrible. All the lying and cheating and secrets, I am surprised love grew there. That it’s a love that refuses to die at least with me.” Yunho reached across the table and took Jaejoong’s hand. “That is not something I wanted to be apart of with you. We did it wrong. We got married first and then we fell in love. I’m saying lets take all of our past mistakes and keep them in the past. All the lies and the cheating, let’s leave them in the past and do this right.”

 

“What?” Jaejoong looked into Yunho’s eyes.

 

“Let’s date. We can take it slowly. Just like tonight. Have a little dinner and a little conversation.” Yunho gave his hand a small squeeze.

 

“Date? You are engaged.” He looked to his hand.

 

“I broke off that engagement after I found her father embezzling funds I had donated to a charity. So there is nothing holding either one of us back. I know I hurt you signing those divorce papers but I did it because that was our father’s idea and it was part of our past. I want a future with you and if we get married again I want it to be a marriage without a deadline and something we both truly want.” Yunho smiled. “So Jaejoong will you be my boyfriend?”

 

Jaejoong bit his lip to keep from smiling. “Okay.”

 

They both laughed. Soon a waiter came over and they ordered wine and food. The new couple talked and laughed throughout their dinner. Soon the sun had set and it grew dark. They had already finished their food but neither wanted the moment to end.

 

When they finally decided to leave, Yunho took Jaejoong’s hand and walked him back down the street to his bakery. Their walk was quiet and each person took in the happy moment. When they finally reached their destination Yunho let go of Jaejoong’s hand.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” He asked.

 

Jaejoong nodded.

 

“Did you make me wait because you were afraid of me?” He looked to his new lover.

 

Jaejoong shook his head. “You would never hurt me. I know that. I was afraid of hurting you.”

 

“I see.” He took both of Jaejoong’s hands into his own. “Let’s not hurt each other. Whatever difficulty that is to come let’s face it together. Whatever bothers you tell me. I want to be there through it all.” He pulled him into an embrace. “Right now you make me so happy.” He whispered into his ear.

 

“You make me happy too.” Jaejoong pulled away from the hug.

 

“Well I have a big day tomorrow. I should probably head home. Would you like me to drop you off?” Yunho asked.

 

“No. I have a car here. I can get home on my own.” He answered.

 

“Okay. text me so I know you got home safely.” Yunho went for his car.

 

Jaejoong turned and went for his.

 

“Jaejoong?” Yunho turned back. “I forgot something.” He quickly went to Jaejoong.

 

Yunho pulled jaejoong into his arms and leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was a surprise but no unwanted. Jaejoong clung to him as he took his time to savor the kiss.

 

When Yunho finally pulled away. He leaned his forehead against Jaejoong’s “This maybe our first date but I already love you. Good night.” He pulled away and left Jaejoong a little weak in the knees.

 

Jaejoong stood in that spot and watched as Yunho got into his car and drove off. He was left there on the sidewalk smiling from ear to ear. He felt the butterflies in his stomach. He turned and left for home.

 

Maybe this time it will work.