Jaejoong stood there daydreaming about him and Yunho. He never felt like this in such a long time. He was so happy he could feel it in his arms and legs. He couldn’t keep his smile from showing and everyone noticed.

“Jaejoong?” Changmin stood next to his friend but he didn’t answer. “Jaejoong?” He waved his hand in front of his friend’s face.

Jaejoong blinked and looked to Changmin next to him. “Yes?” He smiled.

“You are daydreaming again and your constant smile is starting to freak me out.” Changmin smiled.

“I am sorry.” Jaejoong looked away.

“It’s fine. Just move once in a while you look like a frozen doll.” He laughed.

“I can’t help it. Yunho has been really wonderful.” Jaejoong felt the butterflies in his stomach for his boyfriend.

“It’s been awhile since you two started dating again hasn’t it?” Changmin grabbed at a muffin and started to eat it.

“Almost six months.” Jaejoong looked to his friend. “It must be right if we are still this happy after six months, right?”

“You’re asking me?” Changmin asked between mouthfuls of muffin.

“I keep waiting for something to go wrong or for me to mess up. I can’t believe I get to wake up to him every morning and yet at the same time I am so afraid that something would happen and we would go back to not talking or worse he would hate me. I love him but at the same time I am so afraid.” Jaejoong leaned against the counter and the smile from before faded.

“It’s healthy to worry this much isn’t it? I have never seen you like this in a long time. It is refreshing and I believe that this would work. You have endured a lot of hard times but why not instead of worrying about what could go wrong just enjoy the moment. Live for this time between you and him.” Changmin finished his muffin and stepped away. “You know if you and him get married again, I would be happy to be your best man.” He smiled and waved as he left for the day.

“Married again?” Jaejoong whispered. Suddenly he felt a surge of happiness again.

The very thought sent shivers of pure happiness through his body. It would give him great pleasure to have Yunho as his husband again but not right now. It’s far too soon. Maybe one day he could call Yunho his husband again.

He finished cleaning and hurried to get home to his boyfriend. He laughed at that thought. His boyfriend Yunho. They never dated before. He was always his husband Yunho.

Jaejoong came home and Yunho wasn’t there yet but of course he texted him earlier and said he would be home with dinner. Jaejoong went to his bedroom and Jiji, who was lying on the bed, came to him. He looked to the cat and picked them up. He gave the cat a kiss before he took them to the kitchen to get them food.

After he fed Jiji he went to the sofa. He turned the tv on and waited for Yunho to get home. As he sat there the long day started to get to him and he felt tired. He laid back and closed his eyes. Soon he felt Jiji jump on his lap. He ran his hand along the silky coat of the soft cat. The cat purred and lulled him into sleep.

He was somewhere in the grey area between sleep and awake when he heard a loud bang. Immediately he was filled with fear. Jaejoong jumped up. He didn’t cook. Yihan is going to be angry. His pulse quickened and his so did his breathing.

Jaejoong looked to the door and waited for Yihan to come around the corner. When Yunho came around the corner it did nothing to calm him.

“Jaejoong?” Yunho looked to him confused.

Jaejoong started to feel lightheaded. He swayed.

“Yunho?” He said breathlessly before he dropped to the ground.

“Jaejoong!” Yunho dropped everything and went to his lover on the ground.

Jaejoong felt Yunho pulling him from the floor. He pushed passed the light headedness and opened his eyes to see his lover there. He clung to him.

“Yunho? You’re here.” Jaejoong tried to calm his beating heart and slow his breathing.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Yunho asked.

“It’s nothing. I just stood up too early.” Jaejoong stood up from the floor.

“I got dinner.” Yunho pointed to the bag of takeout on the floor. He had set it down before he went to Jaejoong.

“Okay. I am just going to clean up.” Jaejoong went to the bedroom.

He was still shaken up. He sat on the bed and tried to suppress the fear he felt but couldn’t. In his mind he felt as if Yihan would come around the corner and beat him. Too many times had it happened that way. Yihan come banging through the door and beat him. His body anticipated it.

He couldn’t stop when his vision became overwhelmed by tears. Only when his tears flowed, did his body begin to calm. He put his face in his hands and sobbed into them.

“It’s okay.” He comforted himself. “He’s not here.” He told himself.

“Jaejoong.” Yunho came into the bedroom. “What’s wrong?” He went to him and pulled him into a hug.

Jaejoong allowed Yunho to hold him while he cried. Yunho caressed Jaejoong’s back to comfort him.

After a while the sobs seemed to subside and Jaejoong pulled away. Yunho wiped at the tears that had fallen.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Yunho spoke in a comforting tone as he pushed strands of hair away from Jaejoong’s tear stained cheeks.

Jaejoong took a breath. “I thought you were him. I heard a loud bang and it reminded of Yihan. When he came through the door like that I knew he was angry and I expected him to beat him. I thought you were him.” Jaejoong shook his head when fresh tears welled up in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I was carrying a lot of stuff. I kicked the door because I almost dropped the food. I didn’t mean to.” He pulled Jaejoong into his arms.

“I know it’s you but I can’t stop this scared feeling.” Jaejoong held him tighter.

“You’re okay. It’s going to be okay. You are here with me. I won’t hurt you. I love you.” Yunho kept him in his arms.

Jaejoong pulled away again. He looked over Yunho’s face.

“I am me, Jaejoong and I won’t hurt you. I love you.” He tried to reassure him.

“I love you too.” Jaejoong said through a shaky voice.

“I know he hurt you alot but you are safe now. You are with me.” He wiped at the new tears that had fallen.

His body felt calmer now after he had cried. The scared feeling had whispered away.

“Yunho” Jaejoong took his hand. “Marry me?”

“What?” Yunho was surprised at the sudden proposal.

“I know this is still new but I already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the one and I don’t want this anymore. I want a husband. I want a family. I want us.” He paused for a moment. “You make me feel safe. You make me feel complete. I spent a long time on my own away from Yihan trying to prove to myself that I can do this on my own. I have found strength on my own but with you I have something more. I have love and it’s something I don’t want to let go of. I want forever.” Jaejoong looked away a little embarrassed for his sudden confession.

Yunho turned Jaejoong to him.

“I love you. I really do. I am happy we are together but…” Yunho’s voice trailed off.

“You don’t want to get married?” Jaejoong whispered as he pulled away. The rejection seeped into him.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t say yes at least not right now.” Yunho held onto Jaejoong’s hand to keep him from pulling away further. “Jaejoong, I do want you. I want us but right now I can’t give you the answer you want to hear.”

“Is it because of our past? Is it because of me?” Jaejoong had to know.

Yunho shook his head. “No. It’s me. I just can’t right now. Please understand me.” He gave his hand a squeeze.

The rejection was stinging and it hurt but Jaejoong pushed it to the side. He took a breath. “I am hungry.” He said as he stood up.

“Jaejoong?” Yunho saw the hurt in his eyes.

“I am going to go wash up. Can you get the food ready?” Jaejoong left to the bathroom.

Yunho watched him leave the bedroom. He heard the door to the bathroom close.

“I am sorry I can’t say yes to you just yet because I still feel engaged to him. I have to end that before I can say yes.” Yunho took a moment to remember his dead fiance. “I am sorry Daehyun but I love him. ” He whispered before he left the bedroom too.