Kim Jisoo is done reminiscing the past, she’s done crying about the present, she’s fed up with trying to write a happy future with Oh Sehun in it, because as she sits on her comfortable couch staring at Oh Sehun - who is obviously still caught up about what she said about Irene not feeling the same way as he did - Kim Jisoo became tired, even though she felt tired for a long time already, even though she knew - for the longest time - that Oh Sehun will always go running back to Bae Irene.

But could you really blame her? Kim Jisoo, for most of her life, had Oh Sehun and Bae Irene to confide to, she had two people she grew up with learning things, seeing things from different perspective, realizing life, living it in the process; and all of this, without fail, they experienced with each other. Along with these, Kim Jisoo couldn’t help but feel her heart go crazy at the mention of Oh Sehun’s name, how her stomach suddenly filled with millions of butterflies and how, one night, everything changed as Kim Jisoo became conscious of her feelings over Oh Sehun. Maybe she should have just ignored it, maybe she should have told him from the very beginning about her feelings and begged for him to stay as a friend, and maybe if she did all of those, Kim Jisoo wouldn’t be sitting here, saying goodbye to Oh Sehun, bidding him farewell, letting him go, ignoring how her heart told her that it wasn’t ready.

Well, screw her heart, screw her feelings, screw everything Kim Jisoo ever felt for Oh ing Sehun, because now, she needs to let go. She needs to let go because she needed to, because she hates how her heart always hurt a little whenever she’s with Oh Sehun, she hates how her mind always drifted to the thoughts that Oh Sehun will leave her, she hates how she had to lose sleep at night thinking how ty her relationship is with Oh Sehun, how unbearable it has become every time the sun sets and every time it rises.

Goodbye

Maybe, as Kim Jennie says, she does deserve better, maybe she is really ready to let him go, to let him fly, to finally release him out of her chains which she unknowingly tied him with. Because all of this, without both of them realizing, has become the very reasons why they’ve grown tired of what they are for the past two years, what their relationship has become. And Kim Jisoo just might be more tired and done than Oh Sehun, because she spent all these years crying about him, helping him move on, trying to woo him over when she didn’t have a chance from the very beginning and mending his broken heart that really can’t be fixed.

So Kim Jisoo will shove all her feelings away, she’ll keep it at the back of her mind, she’ll disregard them, she’ll give her one hundred percent in trying to completely forget about them for the sake of Oh Sehun, but most importantly, for the sake of herself. Even if it will take a long time, days, weeks, months, years; Kim Jisoo is willing to take in a challenge that she never thought she’d take. Because these things will make Kim Jisoo stronger, it will make her wiser, it will teach her about life the way no other person or event can teach her.

Goodbye

The Oh Sehun who stayed with her that night through her nightmares will never be hers, the Oh Sehun who answered her call after one ring in the middle of the night will never feel the same way, the Oh Sehun who hummed to her while she sobbed will never open his heart to her, and the Oh Sehun who never questioned about her nightmare will always go back to Bae Irene. And with these in Kim Jisoo’s head, she’s willing to let Oh ing Sehun go, because she’s grown tired, because she can’t bear to see him slip out of her arms and back into Bae Irene’s, because she’s mature enough to do so, because she’s ready to say goodbye.

Goodbye

I can live without you

“You can go now Oh Sehun,” She whispered, but loud enough for him to hear, loud enough to snap him back to reality, clear enough to make him realize the extent in which where this situation is going. Finally making him realize and feel that Kim Jisoo will - IS - going to leave him, or in Jisoo’s words, going to let him go. “I think that now is the time for the both of us to say goodbye, don’t you think?” She asked, but not expecting an answer, not wanting one anyways, so she continued. “I think..” Kim Jisoo suddenly paused, finally looking straight at Oh Sehun’s eyes, “I REALLY think, Sehun-ah, I think… I can.. live without you…”

If it were possible, if science could explain it in any way, Oh Sehun’s face became whiter, even more blood draining out of it. Screw the fact that Bae Irene could have possibly not love him back like what Kim Jisoo had told him a while ago, Oh Sehun right now is focused on Kim Jisoo. Oh Sehun now completely needs to forget about Bae Irene for once, because Kim Jisoo is suddenly walking out of his life, because suddenly, Kim Jisoo is letting him go, and Oh Sehun doesn’t know what to feel, how to respond, how to make her stay.

“Yah, stop it, stop joking around Jisoo,” Oh Sehun, with so much seriousness in his voice, looked at Kim Jisoo straight in the eyes, trying to find any answers in them, but only found how the twinkle in it is gone, the brightness in it has disappeared. And for the first time in years, Oh Sehun felt scared, because a person like Kim Jisoo would never look at you without joy and happiness in her eyes, she’ll never look indifferent towards you, because Kim Jisoo is a person so rare, she’s someone who’s always interested about another person, she’s someone who always asks questions and would make you feel comfortable, she holds so much genuinity in her that it surprises him ‘till this day just how fast she is at making friends, how fast she is at making people love her.

But he’s scared because as he looks at Kim Jisoo, as he stares at her, all of those things are gone. She’s not looking at him with pure joy and happiness like she always does, all he sees is a Kim Jisoo who’s eyes are indifferent, a Kim Jisoo whose face is both blank but withholding so much emotions, a Kim Jisoo who is not genuinely smiling in his presence. And he ing hates how her eyes didn’t twinkle, he ing hates how it’s so dull, so empty, so ing sad, how painful it looked under his own gaze. He hates how the reason behind this is him, how he’s the reason why Kim Jisoo, for the first time, has given up on something - or rather - someone; and he hates how it’s him; because Oh Sehun never, in his life, thought that a day a Kim Jisoo leaves his life is the day he would hate the most, the day he would dread the most, the day his heart cried out the most.

And the ed up thing about it is that Oh Sehun doesn’t realize why his heart hurt so much, he doesn’t realize why he suddenly felt his world crumble as Kim Jisoo tells him that she could, that she can possibly live without him in her life, without him ing it up, without him hurting her, without him making her cry. He doesn’t realize why he suddenly feels lonely, he doesn’t realize why his heart felt as if it was missing something, he doesn’t realize the fact that his heart cried out for Kim Jisoo instead.

“I have a feeling that you know I’m not joking,” Jisoo told him, giving out a little chuckle that dripped with every little sadness and hurt that Kim Jisoo is feeling. “Sehun, you know once Kim Jisoo gives up on something, she’ll give it up in a way where she doesn’t want to see it in her life anymore, she’ll give it up in a way where she wants to forget about it, where she wants to ignore it until it doesn’t hurt her anymore, until it doesn’t make her cry anymore, until it completely leaves her life,” Jisoo let her head fall, as she stared at her lap, as she took her eyes off of Oh Sehun’s, as she whispered the words that hurt the both of them, “It just that the one thing Kim Jisoo just had to give up on for the first time in her life is you, Oh Sehun.”

It was as if Oh Sehun’s breath was knocked out off him, it was as if he was clinging onto nothing but a thin string that was already worn out; because those words that Kim Jisoo just said, those words