Mina always found Sana a little weird. Even now she wondered how they had managed to become so close. Although she mostly chose to remain quiet about it, she didn't approve of a lot of Sana’s decisions. The thing she approved of the least, though, was Sana’s little romance.

‘He’s a mistake’

Yes, those were Mina’s thoughts at 4am as she laid in bed with a sleeping Sana in her arms. This was the fifth consecutive time Sana had wormed into her bed in the middle of the night. She predicted the next morning she'd promise Mina she would sleep in her own bed...just like she predicted she'd break that promise the second the room went silent at night. She feared that Sana had developed a habit.

It kind of pissed Mina off, if she were to be honest. She didn't understand why Sana had to lie and pretend she'd stop when they both knew very well she wasn't truly willing planning on doing so. She stopped sleeping in Jihyo's bed, she only slept with Momo once last week when Jeongyeon had gone home to visit her family cause just like Sana, Momo got lonely. Neither of them were used to sleeping alone anymore.

Sana shuffled closer to Mina, nuzzling her chest. Mina caressed Sana's hair, sighing loudly as a way to muffle the weird thoughts that plagued her mind. Even when she slept, Sana managed to make Mina feel uneasy. 

The smell of Sana's shampoo made her head spin. Would it be weird if Mina were to say it had become her favorite scent? probably.

God, if only she could get a night’s sleep.

“You two are fighting again, aren't you?” Mina asked Sana when the older girl approached her bed in tears.

Sana wasn't supposed to be there with Mina that night. About two hours ago, she had sneaked out of the dorm planning on spending the night with her boyfriend. Mina could see there had been a slight change of plans, though.

Sana nodded, wiping her runny nose with her jacket's sleeve, messing up her lipstick in the process. Mina bit her lip, how was she supposed to take the girl seriously when she had a bright red lipstick staining the side of her face? 

“Want to sleep with me tonight, I’m not him but I like to think I’m a close second” Mina chuckled, lifting up her sheets so Sana could lay next to her. The older girl accepted her offer and joined Mina under the covers.

“Of course” Sana whispered with a sad tone “you’re my favorite after all”

“The way you say it, it makes me seem more like a burden. Does your little boyfriend know you aren't keeping your promise?”

Sana didn't reply and Mina instantly regretted her words.

There was a small pause, Sana moved back a little bit so she could meet Mina’s eyes.

“I think I’m gonna break up with him” Sana confessed.

“What? Why? I know you guys have been fighting a lot lately but I didn't know it was getting this bad! Why didn't you tell me?”

This response earned a loud scoff from Sana.

“I know you don't approve of our relationship. I wanted to see if I could fix it without having to hear your ‘I told you so’. at first it was just passive-agressive banter but after he found out about the whole sleep— I mean a disagreement we had, things just haven't been the same”

“Oh… and are you seriously planning on doing it or are you just talking out of anger?”

“I just don't like him as much anymore”

Mina nodded. It made sense to her.

“But it still hurts, you know” Sana began to sob “I feel so guilty as well cause all of our problems are my fault”

“Shhhh” Mina tried to calm Sana down, rubbing her back in circles. "it's obviously not your fault. Couples have falling outs, it's normal"

"No, it is my fault. The only reason why we're having problems is cause he suspects I'm–"

Sana’s sobs suddenly stopped and she looked at Mina, her tears glimmered in the darkness of room.

A strange yet familiar feeling hit Mina. She stared back at Sana, her expression seemed different than a few seconds ago, almost curious. She couldn't even remember what Sana had been saying, not when she felt her small hand softly cup her cheek. She started to unconsiously gravitate towards Sana, slowly losing awareness of her surroundings apart from Nayeon’s light snoring which only seemed to muffle any thought that might've prevented her from pushing Sana away and instead inviting her to tug at Sana's pajamas, pulling her closer.

Even from up close, Sana looked beautiful despite the fact that her make up was ruined. Their faces were so close, Mina could feel Sana’s lips graze hers—

“JIHYO YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLES!” Nayeon’s loud sleep-talking boomed.

Mina pushed Sana away in a surge of panic and Sana fell off the bed. “ow!”

Jihyo sprung awake at the sound of Sana hitting the ground. She got up and kneeled next to Sana.

“Are you okay?” Jihyo asked Sana, completely ignoring Mina’s presence.

“Yes” Sana rubbed the back of her head. “my head hurts, though”

“You’ll be alright, let me just get you a pack of ice and call a manager.” Jihyo looked at Mina.

“Mina, keep her awake. It was a small bump so I doubt it’s a big deal, but it could still be dangerous for her to go to sleep right away”

Mina nodded quietly as Jihyo left the room.

Sana stared at Mina from the floor. Mina stood up to help her get back on her feet and they both sat down on her bed. No words were exchanged, Mina felt extremely embarrassed for pushing Sana off her bed. She gave her a small smile but Sana just scowled.

There was a small pause.

“Your make up!” Mina whispered, coming to a sudden realization.

Jihyo hadn’t noticed because she was so sleepy but the managers would definitely see it.

Sana gasped and they both ran and locked themselves in the bathroom. Sana sat on top of the toilet as Mina got the makeup wipes and tried to remove her fake lashes and eyeshadow as quickly as possible. Mina lifted her chin to remove her lipstick but was caught in Sana’s intense stare. There was a long pause before Jihyo knocked on the door, announcing the manager was there.

Mina let Sana leave the bathroom before locking herself in.

She sat on the floor and stared at the wall in front of her.

“What the hell” she whispered to herself as she imagined what would’ve happened had Nayeon not interrupted them.

It was the heat of the moment. That’s what Mina forced herself to believe.

She heard through the door how the manager scolded Sana, she was no longer allowed to sleep in the other members’ beds.

Mina wished she wasn’t locked in there like a coward so she could see Sana’s reaction to this new rule, but alas, Mina was a coward and because of that, she never got to see how Sana reacted to their manager's words.

Even after the manager had left the room and Sana and Jihyo had gone back to bed, Mina stayed in the bathroom staring at the wall. She feared that if she went back, Sana would be there waiting for her and she didn’t know why but the simple thought of having to face Sana made her anxious.

After a few minutes, she finally gave up and decided to try to get some sleep. As she entered her room again, she saw Sana’s sleeping figure and Jihyo staring at her, eyes wide open. She decided to pretend she hadn’t noticed her and laid down.

Her bed felt cold and lonely, it felt weird to sleep without Sana holding on to her. It was only when she decided to hug her own pillow that she managed to fall asleep.

It had been two weeks since the incident and Sana was finally sleeping in her own bed. They were still talking though, Sana pretended as if that night had never happened, this included never breaking up with her boyfriend.

They were in a recording for a new year's special show. There were so many groups there they had to coop-up four to five groups in the same room. In their case though, it was just Twice and two other top boygroup. That was the benefit of being in a top group. You'd still be cooped up but it wasn't inhumane, just uncomfy. Her problem had nothing to do with comfort, though. Her problem was the fact that one of those top boygroups in the room also happened to be Sana's boyfriend's group. 

Naturally, Sana would spend that time with her beloved boyfriend, even if the other Twice members thought they were just flirting. Completely unaware that the flirting phase was long over.

Mina didn’t really care who Sana spent her time with, but she’d very much appreciate it if she could stop staring at her every time she was in her line of sight. Why did Sana stare at her so much anyway? especially when she was with him, she’d be holding his hand but her eyes would always be on Mina. It was very confusing for her, she didn’t even want to think about it anymore.

Mina glared at them as they talked, it seemed serious. Sana’s eyes were occasionally landing on her.

Were they talking about her? Mina doubted it.

It amazed Mina how none of the other members had said anything about this long exchange of words between Sana and him. How dense could the other 6 girls be to not realize what was going on? It was infuriating. 

“Hmm does Mina have a crush?" A voice whispered behind her and Mina jumped back.

“Jihyo, you scared me!" She yelled making Jihyo giggle.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell" Jihyo winked.

“What do you mean?" Mina asked nervously, ignoring a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

”what I mean is you have a crush on him" She pointed at the boy Sana was talking to, her boyfriend. Of course, Jihyo didn’t know that.

Mina shook her head. ”it’s not like that"

“Really? Isn’t that what you and Sana were fighting about a few weeks ago?" Jihyo wondered. “I can’t really understand Japanese but his name was definitely dropped at some point during the conversation and right now you’re staring at him like you’re some lovesick puppy”

“What are you even talking about? I wasn’t even staring at—”

Him.

Oh...

Mina stared a Jihyo wide eyed, a sudden realization flooding into her.

Oh.

Oh my god...

“Don’t worry, as long as you don’t get caught by the managers, you’re fine. I won’t tell"

Mina nodded, she wasn't even listening to whatever Jihyo was telling her, she was speechless. 

“Anyway, what is Sana doing? Is she playing wingman to help figure out if he likes you? Is that what you two were talking about?" Jihyo smiled when Sana’s eyes shifted back to him once she noticed Jihyo caught her staring.

“Even when talking to a boy her type, her eyes have been on you this whole time. It’s clear to see what comes first in her heart”

She waved lightly at Sana who was looking at them again. Sana waved back and gulped nervously, her eyes were now on Mina who was still staring at her blankly.

She snapped out of it when she saw Sana lean in and kiss his cheek softly. He took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. Finally, she gave him a hug.

Was no one noticing this? How was no one seeing this?! Are people blind?!

Mina couldn’t stand it anymore. She left her bag with Dahyun and stormed out of the room.

A part of her knew that even as she left, Sana’s eyes were still on her.

Mina sat in the steps and started doing those breathing exercisers she and jihyo had learned in their yoga classes. She was so overwhelmed by everything, she felt as if she were suffocating.

A few feet away, a couple of male idols and a female idol were smoking. The building owners allowed idols to go to the roof and do as they pleased as long as they didn’t peak down and allow fans to know they were up there. It’s supposed to be secret place only seniors know about, but Mina knew about it cause Nayeon had the habit of smoking when she was stressed out. She had forced her to accompany her once or twice since Jihyo didn’t approve of it and had forced her to quit it (according to her, at least, she had quit). Jeongyeon would tell Jihyo and so would Momo but Mina wouldn’t say a word, she never did.

She knew all of the members’ secrets: how Momo and Jeongyeon once got secretly high before a show, the location of Dahyun’s “secret candy box”, the identities every single one of Sana’s many hook-ups and about Chaeyoung’s “a” collection.

She heard someone walk up the stairs and played dumb when she saw it was Sana. The female idol offered Sana a hit which she politely refused. She was one of Sana’s hookups, actually. They had chosen to remain friends which was actually pretty unlike her more-than-one night stands. On the other hand, no matter how much Sana had tried, Eunha had never quite forgiven her when she found out she had agreed to dating him instead of getting serious with her.

”You okay?“ Sana sat down next to her.

“Not really....” Mina confessed.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really...”

There was a long silence and then suddenly, Sana rested her head on Mina’s shoulder and let out a cute groan.

“Mina, you can’t keep doing this. It’s gonna end up killing you...and me.”

“What do you mean by this?”

“Not talking about your feelings” Sana straightened up. “You keep sending me these mixed signals"

Mina swallowed hard as she noticed the group behind Sana walking towards the exit. Leaving her completely alone with Sana.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more honest with how I felt about your relationship with him”

There was an awkward pause again.

“I broke up with him"

”Really?!" Mina asked in complete shock.

“I told you, didn’t I? I didn’t like him that much anymore. If I’m being honest, I’m surprised he didn’t break up with me first. He was so nice about it too. He obviously knew it was unavoidable at this point" Sana bit her lip. “He realized I liked someone else very early on, even before I realized it myself... and because of that he didn’t let me share a bed with you anymore.”

“Oh...” was all Mina could say. 

“Remember our fight that night? He asked me about it and I couldn’t lie to him. He threatened to break up with me but after a lot of begging, he agreed to give our relationship a second chance but it just made me realize I was just so tired of lying to him –and to myself–.”

“I’m sorry, Sana”

“Why are you apologizing? see?! this is my problem with you! here I am spilling my heart out to you and all you can say is sorry? What does that even mean? That night we almost kissed, you pushed me away. Literally! I fell off the bed! if you hadn’t pushed me, I would have broken up with him the next day but you rejected my advances instead. Even now, I don’t know if you actually like me back or if I’m just making a fool out of myself right now”

“No.” Mina shook her head. “I just— I suppressed these thoughts for so long. It wasn’t until Jihyo inferred that I jealous that I realized why I was always so against your relationship with him in the first place"

“Is this your way of saying you like me back or are you telling me you like my man?”

Mina chuckled lightly

“I guess I have liked you for a while, but refused to acknowledge it because you were with him”

“oh” Sana nodded. She understood where Mina was coming from.

Mina’s smile disappeared. “I just...didn’t want to be a burden for you if you didn’t reciprocate”

“Well I do like you!” Sana chimed in. “I seriously like you a lot. More than you’ll ever like me, probably and I assure you, even if I didn’t like you like that, you could never be a burden to me…”

Sana’s eyes sparked as she spoke and Mina couldn’t help but smile back shyly.

“After all, you’re my favorite”