Chapter 5

G Dragon’s whole mind throbbed as he awoke from his slumber. His eyes were still semi-closed, and there was an inexplicable feeling of guilt swirling inside his chest. He felt warmth close to him and without thinking; he buried his face into it before sighing in contentment. He remained this way a little while longer until the scent of the room seemed familiar. It then dawn upon him where he was and whom he was holding so tightly in his arms.

G Dragon’s first reaction was to freeze.

Seungri.

In one second, all the events that occurred during the previous night came rushing back to him. Panic filled him and all he could do was violently pull away from Seungri which caused him to nearly fall on the ground. Once G Dragon regained his balance, he got up from the bed and backed away from Seungri with his eyes wide opened. There he was, lying on the bed, completely , still asleep and that already dried white substance in between his legs, serving a reminder that they had done the unforgivable deed. 

It was wrong!

The whole situation was wrong!

Where did his self-control go?

And what was he supposed to say to Seungri once he woke up?

Should he apologize?

Lowering himself towards the edge of the bed, G Dragon’s fingertips unconsciously touched his lips. The sensation was still present. It was as if he could still feel Seungri's lips on his.

G Dragon closed his eyes, images of Seungri and himself ... together on the bed, kissing and touching and loving each other.

He wanted to taste that again.

He wanted to feel that again.

To be frank, it’s a sensation that he could never feel when he was with Kiko.

For the first time, he felt complete.

G Dragon sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair, he shouldn't be thinking like this.

He is going to get married to Kiko.

His marriage with Kiko has been announced to the public. The venue of the wedding have been booked, photos have been taken. Almost everything has been settled already.

He couldn't turn back now.

How many people would get hurt if he decided to cancel the wedding?

How many losses will he incur if he decided to cancel the wedding?

He has no choice but to hide his emotions.

A bitter sob escaped past his lips.

Oh, who was he trying to fool?

Even if all his senses screamed at him to end this messy relationship with Seungri, his feelings would always be in the way. He would have to cut out his own heart if he wanted to break the strings of fate that tied him to Seungri.

G Dragon couldn't do that. He hadn't been able to do so that fateful night and he wouldn't be able to do it now.

Suddenly, G Dragon felt the bed shift, indicating that Seungri had woken up.

G Dragon could not bring himself to glance at Seungri. Instead, his eyes were locked on the floor as if it was the most interesting thing.

He was nearly holding his breath as he felt Seungri slowly sat up on the bed.

“How are you feeling?” G dragon said, breaking the silence.

“Sore…” Seungri replied after a minute of silence. “But, it’s okay…”

“Seungri …last night…" G Dragon began, finding it difficult to voice what he wanted to say. He wasn't even sure what that was.

"Was a mistake...." Seungri finished for him.

G Dragon turned his body around, feeling a cold grip clenched around his heart painfully at Seungri’s reply.

G Dragon could see the slight tremble in Seungri’s arm while Seungri did his best to keep his eyes focused ahead.

"Hyung…I understand…" Seungri’s voice cracked as emotion plagued his every word.

“Don’t…” G Dragon cut in as he leaned forward and captured Seungri’s lips with his own.

G Dragon kissed him roughly, capturing his lips and keeping them locked to his own.

He didn't want to hear it. If he had to seal his lips shut forever, he would.

Deep down G Dragon was afraid of facing the reality of making a decision between Kiko and Seungri.

If he even knew how.

For the first time, G Dragon decided to be selfish; he wanted to keep Seungri by his side.

There are only four months away before the wedding.

Until then, he would saviour every single moment he could have with Seungri.

Even though he knew that Seungri was the one thing he would never have.

Seungri…. would never be his.

Till then, could he let go?

Could he do that?