She is the first girl that can make me fall in love. The first girl that caught my attention. The first girl that make my heart become warmer. The first girl that introducing the beauty of the world to me. The first girl that make my heart fluttered in excitement when I heard her name. But unfortunately, I can’t love her any longer. It will be a sin if I kept on loving her. I never want to love her. But what else I can do? I can’t love her any longer because the girl that I love is my own little sister. Fujii Karen, the spoiled and childish little sister.

My name is Fujii shuuka, the second child and the oldest girl in fujii family. Huft. I never fell in love with someone before and I don’t even have any interest in it. Until one day. The day where I finally know that I’m in love with my own sister. “shuuka, you’re thinking about what?” my brother ask as he sit beside me. I just shook my head. He can’t know about this. We’re siblings but, because our age difference is only 1 year, it makes us become like friends not siblings. And back to what he ask. I’m thinking about my feelings toward Karen and telling him won’t be any good idea.

“oh yeah, shuuka. Where’s Karen? I haven’t seen her since this morning.” He ask again. My heart skipped a beat when I heard Karen’s name.

“mv shooting with happiness probably.” I answer it casually. Because even I also don’t know where the little girl gone.

I stand from my previous spot and walk toward my room. If only that time my brother didn’t flip Karen’s floating ring upside down, then I won’t be falling for her and having this little sin. Not to mention that my heart ache when I see her close to another person. There’s a reason why I act really cold toward Karen. I don’t want her to know what I’m thinking and I also don’t want her to know my feelings toward her. This feeling is forbidden.

As soon as I enter my bedroom, I laid my body on my fluffy bed. Karen, why you always haunt me like this? I can’t lie anymore. I haven’t seen her in a while. We only contacting via Line or a call. And if we meet, there’s always things from her that make my feel surprised. Like last month, we haven’t meet for about 2 weeks. And her body is getting beautiful. But I don’t care about that. “when will you come back?” I mumbled under my breath. And not too long after I said that, I can hear Karen’s trembling voice calling me from outside.

“neechan.” What happened to her? What makes her become like that? Is she stricken by something? I got up and opened the door for Karen to enter. And the moment I open the door for her, the figure of Karen with tears on her face make my heart ache. She come and hug me tightly. So tight that I’m afraid I can’t breathe. I hug her back. “what is it?” I ask calmly. Trying not to show the fragility of my heart and how my heart broke when I saw her cry.

I pat the back of her body. Hoping that she will calmed soon. “what happened? Tell me, Karen.” I ask her again. But still there’s no answer come from her. I take a look at Karen in my arms. She already fall asleep. Tired maybe. Remembering that she’s one of the precious member in e-girls. She’s precious. That’s why the agency never let her down from her position. I carry her toward my bed and lay her down while I do the same. I lay my body next to her. Her sleeping face is so peaceful, but when she’s wake up, she’s very, very, very annoying. I decide to hug her and sleep like her.

~ 3 hours later ~

Hoam. I just wake up a few minutes ago. And when I open my eyes, Karen’s eyes are looking at mine straightly. And that makes my heart fluttered in excitement. “something wrong?” I ask with a husky tone. Remembering that I just wake up from sleep. She suddenly show a smile to me. She suddenly pulls me into a hug. My heart skipped a beat again. She hid her face on my chest. What is she doing there? “I love your heart beat.” She mumbled. But luckily, I can hear that. And again she makes my heart fluttered. I hug her back. I take her closer to me. I never feel really happy like this.

In my arms, she keep saying something, but I can’t even catch what she is saying. And eventually, I’m getting bored to catch what she’s saying. “have you eat your lunch?” I ask. She shook her head which make me look at her with a very annoyed face. I broke her hugs and got up from my bed and of course while pulling her too. I don’t want this little girl fell sick or what. It broke my heart so much. I take her to the kitchen and it’s time for me to cook something. I only cook something that Karen really like.

When I already finished, I place the dish on the dining table. Karen looks like that she’s very happy to eat the dish that I made. “now that you’re finished. Tell me. Why did you cry earlier?” I ask and I don’t know why her body stiffen like statue. She doesn’t answer. But I know she’s hiding something from me. I decide not to ask her any further because it will be wasted in a vain. Karen decide to go to her room. And I sigh. This is going to be hard. I stand form my seat and in that exact moment, something soft and warm stick to my cheeks. And when I turn, Karen is smiling to me like she’s winning something.

A few months already passed and my activity both in e-girls and flower really went well. But not with my relation with Karen. Didn’t went well in another meaning. There’s no improvement at all. And one more thing. Karen is becoming more aggressive when she meets me. Aggressive like always doing a skin and body ship to me. Kissing my cheeks, always make me hug her or she’s the one that come to hug me, always sleep in my room, and last, always make me spoiled her again. I don’t know why she act like that to me.

I never understand what she’s doing to me. But I never say I hate that. It makes me feel like she love me back. And now, she’s doing the thing like what I describe earlier. She’s currently flirting with me. Not that kind of flirt. She comes to hug me and after that, she will kiss my cheeks. “neechan, why your heart always beat that fast when I’m with you?” she ask. Why my sister have to be that innocent. “it means that I’m alive, Karen.” I answe