;reviews

Black Paradise: Haven Returns;apply open
SON JISOO / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : HAVEN/Human
FACE-CLAIM : kim yerim (yeri - red velvet)
LOVE INTEREST : byun ardyn (oc)
 
REVIEW :  Hi thanks for applying. Jisoo's baiscs are fine. Going onto her personality, the thing that stands out the most is that robin hood - isn't a personality trait but a character so you'll need to fix that expand on character trais that robin hood has a character which will make her personality much more dyanmic that it is now (ex couragerous, daring, implusive, etc.). Her background is fine, but i do question her motive to be recruited? why & how does gongchan get her to join as she seems to be doing well on her own with help of ardyn? moving onto her love interest, i do like he is a vampire and he is a little different but i am going to tell you now even though he's 'different' gongchan will never let him side with them as gongchan isn't going to make the same mistakes as before letting a creature call themselves HAVEN - so you'll need to change that. I am not saying jisoo can't associate herself with ardyn and let him believe in HAVEN's cause, but he'll never truly be able side with HAVEN unless he wants both of them dead. also could you elborate on ardyn's personality? it would help a lot on writing him. also could you put ardyn's face claim and a backup just in case in his section (i know it is minggyu but it will help me keep everything straight.) I actually like her ardyn together as it reminds me of yura and kangdae in some ways, but with a few twists and turns which is good. over all, jisoo isn't a bad character she just needs some adjustments and due to some minor little problems i do have to put her app on pending until everything is fixed.
***Everything looks good now.
 
 
KANG ROWOON / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE :  empire/rabbit-fox hybrid
FACE-CLAIM : stray kids jeongin
LOVE INTEREST : lee jiwoo (olivia hye - loona)
 
REVIEW : Hi! Thank you for sending me him! He is really cute and will add a different mix to the soliders as his personality is a lot different from most of the usually solider guys - which is good! Jeongin really fits the mix between a rabbit and fox in look as well. Plus his personality mixes well with his race as well. He will be a breath of fresh air to the gloomy and serious army that he is in. His power fits as well and will be really useful as we go along. His background is nice and fits well with his overall character. Oh my gosh, his love interest with Jiwoo is so cute! They remind me of August and Aixiang in terms of cuteness and having more of fluffy/sweet interactions unlike the others. Just one thing which is not a error persay - who is Jiwoo's face claim? i know, i know her but my brain isn't putting a name to a face. I also really like that you put in Jisoo and Ardyn. I really liked Rowoon so he is accepted!
 
 
 
JEON MISUN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : empire/demon
FACE-CLAIM : yeonwoo - momoland
LOVE INTEREST : bang jaemin (gyujin - up10tion)
 
REVIEW : Lorem Hello, thanks for applying! Misun's basics are okay. You didn't fill in the nicknames which is fine - but just checking she doesn't have any nicknames? Just a quick questoin what type of horns does she have - are they animal like in shape like ram horns or do they just simply curl back like you wrote? For her tail since you said it can be used as a weapon - does it have a barb at the end, spikes, or just shaped in way that it can be used as a spear type stab motion? Can you put her tail in her weapon section so I don't forget when i reference back to what she uses as a weapon. So for her demon nature by how you describe she is more of physical demon than magical? - expect for two forms of course. Her personality is really nice - she reminds me of mix between Minhee & Natsumi - but still having her own flavor. That is just who came to mind when I was reading her app. I feel like from her personality she would either get along with Daijun or really annoy him, lol. Anyway beyond that her background fits well with how her personaity and life became how it is now. I feel like August and Axiant would get along with her since they both are like Misun with the fact they never really 'fit' in when they were young as well. Could you possibly put somewhere in her app - who her birth parents were? Just so if it came up then I would have an idea of who you would want her birth parents to be. Her relationship wtih Jaemin will be really fun to explore as it isn't the typical love interest relationship to start out with - but i like it! It fits well with Misun's character and will give her a lot of character growth in how she goes further. Overall, I really liked Misun! She is going to be a fun character. There are some minor questions that need to be answered, so I do have to put on her pending untl these are answered! Thanks for applying again! Everything looks good now!
 
 
 
KIM HYUNGWON / CHOSEN
PLOTLINE : empire/onikuma
FACE-CLAIM : nct taeyong
LOVE INTEREST : ong eunseo (jinsoul - loona)
 
REVIEW : LHi! Thanks for applying. Hyungwon's basics are okay. His nicknames are so funny but fit him really well. Oh my gosh, his personality reminds me so much of Daijun. When I reading it I was like oh gosh, Daijun has a best friend in the personality department. But it is a good thing - his personality is really nice and works with his character and background. He fits really well with being an empire general. His background is fine and helps explain his personality and everything else. I really like that Eunseo is the opposite of him which will be fun and good for their love story. Their love story will be a good contrast to the typical fluffy story. Over all I really liked Hyungwon and there isn't anything wrong with his application!
 
    PARK EUNJUNG / CHOSEN
 
SIDE/RACE : empire/pheonix
FACE-CLAIM : jeon somin
LOVE INTEREST : Lee Donghae (super junior)
 
REVIEW : Hello! Thank you for applying. I really love Eunjung! She is adorable! I really like that she is a bit older than the rest and that she was once a solider in the past and is now going to be a solider again. Her basics are okay and that her personality is really good for a mom and i like that she has a bit of a short temper. It is sad that her husband went missing only to turn up with another woman and child just leaving Eunjung to raise their boys on her own. I really like that she is willing to go back into the army to support her family. I really like the fact that she is a pheonix which is not a common creature so that is good. Her love interest section is really cute and it will be really cute. I laughed to myself when I read that she went to her ex-husbands home and burnt his things bringing her sister and Donghae along. Anyway, I really liked Eunjung and there wasn't anything wrong with her application so she is chosen!
 
GO JIHOON / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : empire/kitsune
FACE-CLAIM : nct - jeno
LOVE INTEREST : go yumi
 
REVIEW : Hi, thank for applying! His basics are okay and good. His personality is a lot of fun and will add a good mix to the group. His background is really nice and goes helps shape his personality. I really like how you used Jessica's talent to start Jihoon's and Yumi's relationship. I think it will be a good addition to their love story and some cute drama between him and Rowoon. I also like how he his found out by and then recruited by the army. I think that Yumi is a really good person for his love interest and their love story is going to be really cute and fun to write. I can totally understand with the application not saving, that has happened to be a few times. Anyway there wasn't anything wrong with his application so he is now chosen! 


 
JO YOUNGJIN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : Haven/human
FACE-CLAIM : Doojoon - highlight
LOVE INTEREST : Park Eunhee ( Kang Hanna)
 
REVIEW : Hi, thanks for applying! Youngjin basics are okay. His personality is good and works with his background and over all character that you've made him to be. I think he would be a really good leader for the new kids and keeping them in line if he can. His background really works for the story as there were many human villages in the country side once the empire started forming so his background works in sense of connecting back to the other story. It is really sad but it adds a lot to his character and would lead to some development down the way. His personality is good and he seems like he will turn into the dad of the group. His love interest section is really cute and Eunhee is adorable. Their story will be really cute. Anyway there wasn't anything wrong with his app so he is chosen!

 
WANG YIEUN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : haven/human
FACE-CLAIM : yugi - (g)IDLE
LOVE INTEREST : Lee Junho & Cha Seungmin
 
REVIEW :  Thanks for applying again! Yieun's basics are good. Her personality is really nice and fits well with her story. Her background is really well done and helps gives her the motivation to be in Haven besides from not wanting to be away from the only family she really has. I really like that her family kind of her only because it gives Yieun a lot of character development if she were to come in contact with them - just a question what kind of creature did her family turn into? I really love the includement of Jisoo and having her family take in Yieun.  I won't comment much on Junho and Seungmin since they will have individual apps - but I will say that from what you have it sounds like it is going to be really cute. Overall I didn't see anything wrong with her app so she is chosen!

CHA SEUNGMIN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : human/haven
FACE-CLAIM : moon bin - astro
LOVE INTEREST : wang yieun ( yuqi (g)IDLE )
 
REVIEW : Thanks for you applying and making my story the first one that you've applied to! Seungmin's basics are good. Moonbin really fits his character well and i might be a bit biased since Moonbin is my favorite member of astro but from aside that he does git Seungmin's character. His personality is really cute and will add a nice freshness to Haven. His background is good as well and fits in with world pretty well. I really like that he wants to take over for his dad if his shop is still standing at the end of this all. From reading Yieun's and now Seungmin's app, i'll only comment their relationship. It will be really cute and they remind me a lot of Aixiang and August in terms of how they interact since Aixiang was very much affection driven like Seungmin is. Their relationship will be really cute and i think Seungmin's supportive and gentle side will be a great help towards Yieun when she does get a panic attack or needs someone to lean on - I can see Seungmin being the person she goes to. Anyway for your first time, this is a pretty good app! I didn't see anything wrong with his app so he is chosen!


 
LEE JUNHO / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : Haven/Human
FACE-CLAIM : Kino - pentagon
LOVE INTEREST : Wang Yieun ( yuqi - (g)IDLE )
 
REVIEW : Thanks for applying! Junho's basics are fine and dandy. Kino works really for his overall character. His personality is really good balance between the other two and will give Haven that some what leveled headed add on that it needs for battle and dealing with creatures as I think if taught properly Junho could pass as a few creatures due to his more respectful and logical side. I think he would be a good tatic person too. His background is pretty good - just a note once humans were kicked to the dirt basically his family wouldn't be able regain their land back which could help the tension in his family which i what i got from his background is Junho's character development later on will contuine form my point. I do like that Junho has the most 'normal' past in comparsion to his fellow members - it can cause some tension since he might not understand the fully hatred that the others had since Junho really grew up fairly normal and probably wasn't bothered by the empire since his family could 'buy' them off until things really got bad. I really like that he is good foil to Seungmin as they do have some similar traits - but they act them in very different ways. How he is with Yieun and Seungmin follows his peronsality really well since he is logical so I can see that influencing his story wtih Yieun. His story with Yieun will be more heartfelt and more a little more angsty in terms Yieun might question his intentions as he has already made it clear that his feelings do not align that way - sorry I rambling. Overall I realy Junho and didn't see anything wrong his app so he is chosen! 

 
JANG KIHYUN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : HAVEN/HUMAN
FACE-CLAIM : taeii - block b
LOVE INTEREST : chae younghee - irene (red velvet)
 
REVIEW :  Hey! Thanks for applying again! Oh my gosh, Kihyun is so cute! I think he will be a good addition to the group in Haven. He will offset Youngjin a lot but still be an older role model for many of the younger ones to look up to. His basics are fine. I really like his personality it works well with his background. I really love though that he can be a foil to both Junho in terms of them both being from a more wealthy home - but Kihyun has learned lessons differently that Junho just doesn't understand yet (like a big one is one is money can't buy or be the solution to everything) Then he is a foil to Youngjin like you pointed out that Kihyun is not blood hungry like Youngjin. Kihyun is very simillar to August/Kangdae. You'll see that once August and Kangdae make more cameos throughout. You'll see the share many parrells to where I'll take Kihyun. Ah, his love story with Younghee is going to be so much fun! (Not that anyone else's will) - but again their love story is very simillar to August/Aixiangs and even Yura/Kangdaes, but Kihyun's and Younghee's is just slightly different. I feel like Younghee will be a good obstacle in Kihyun's character development. Overall, I really liked Kihyun so there is nothing wrong with his application!

 
SHIN HYUNGWOO / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : Vampire / EMPIRE
FACE-CLAIM : Kim Donghan
LOVE INTEREST : Ong Hyejin (Chuu - LOONA)
 
REVIEW : Hi, thanks for sending in him. Eh, It is okay I don't mind they are similar. If it works then it works, why change it. Also, I want to apologize for a probably crappy review as I am sick and drugged on medicine. I don't know If mentioned in the HW review but I had a three tie between him, Hyunbin, & Sanggyun for my bias in JBJ. Anyway, his basics are good. I really like that I can play with the contrasts of Ardyn and him as they both vampires but vastly different. I really do like his personality as I can see him getting come character growth through his relationship with Hyejin. I love his rivalry with Hyungwon as I think Hyungwoo is the perfect character to go up against him.  Ah, his power is great and lets him bridge the line between being confused with a reaper b/c killer instinct is a natural trait reaper are created from and have. I really love Hyejin and how Hyungwoo literally can't function without her - I mean he could but I don't think anyone would let him. I like the contrast between Hyungwoo's power and Hyejin's injunction with each other and the dynamic that they will have. I can see a lot of moments where Eunseo would be very jealous of Hyejin so I can see the tension between them. Overall, I really liked Hyungwoo and he'll make a great addition to the army - he is chosen!
GOOK CHEOlMIN / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : Empire / Incubus
FACE-CLAIM : Yeo Hwanwoong (ONEUS)
LOVE INTEREST : Ahn Minjoo
 
REVIEW : Hello, thank you for applying! Cheolmin's basics are good. I really like that you went with Hwanwoong since I don't see a lot of ONEUS face claims and I really like their music. I really like his personality - I think it really different compared to the other members in the empire and he'll just be really fun to write. His background is interesting and explains why he acts teh way that he does. I think it is interesting that he's in an arranged marriage, but it makes sense for his character development. I feel like Minjoo is a good counter character that will help Cheolmin grow up a little and see the way he acts isn't very life fullfiling. Overall, I really liked Cheolmin and there wasn't anything wrong with his app so he is chosen. 

 
JEONG SEONGHOON / CHOSEN
SIDE/RACE : Human/Haven
FACE-CLAIM : Son Dongju - Oneus
LOVE INTEREST : Yoshiha Nako - I*ZONE
 
REVIEW : Hi thanks for applying! So Seonghoon's basics are okay. His personality is good and I really like his dependable traits but he knows the limits of being an that type of person. His personality has layers and he will be really fun to write among the others in the bunch. I like his background and the fact that he can be the planner and help them strategize. I do like the tension he has with Sorim and that will be fun to explore with his relationship with Nako. His relationship with Nako is really cute and I will really like writing their relationship and the development that will come with it. Overall I really liked Seonghoon and there wasn’t anything wrong with his application so he is chosen! ;

 

CHARACTER NAME / ACCEPTED,PENDING,REJECTED
SIDE/RACE : side/race
FACE-CLAIM : name
LOVE INTEREST : name
 
REVIEW : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Curabitur at tortor ut nulla commodo vehicula ac in nisl. Donec pretium varius vestibulum. Integer dignissim justo non urna sollicitudin, nec cursus eros pharetra. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia. Curae; Mauris dapibus mi hendrerit, posuere lorem id, commodo ligula. Cras vitae volutpat tortor. Vivamus non erat convallis, tincidunt lectus eu, porta nulla. Quisque ornare sed ligula in iaculis. Aliquam dignissim neque at neque sagittis, vel ullamcorper dolor cursus. Vestibulum consequat sem vitae tempor vehicula. Fusce luctus ipsum convallis, venenatis sapien aliquam, commodo felis. Nulla eu lacus tincidunt eros iaculis bibendum.

 

 

 

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Comments

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KezMer
#1
Chapter 26: I've read through the past chapter as well as this and forgot to comment sorry o.o!!! I did enjoy them and giving them another read helped me understand the situation more. I am very excited to see how things go for each side!!
WaiterInABowtie #2
Chapter 24: Ok Eunjung's kids are the most adorable pair in the friggin wooooorlllldd!!!!! I can see Yumi as this like kick baby sitter who is prepared to fight if danger appears like the girl can put out fireballs with her own magic that is cool!
Sawltea #3
Chapter 24: Yo if Jihoon was trying to take something from Hyungwoo oooooohhhh the confrontation is gonna be sickkk!!!
Kurbsloo #4
Chapter 24: Ok w8888888 was JIHOON trying to take something from Hyungwoo's office?????
Kroujin
#5
Chapter 24: Idk why but I just imagine Yumi having to deal with a child shooting fireballs everywhere hahahahahah
Invillium
#6
Chapter 24: School but thank god I get to read your updates!!!
IceWall
#7
Chapter 24: Ohhh so we are getting some info about Suho and Lienhua's relationship oooooooohhh
Azmodive
#8
Chapter 24: Eyyy that little Jihoon and Yumi scene cute! Especially with the kidssssssss
12thServantofHell
#9
Chapter 24: Ok but Younghee constantly attacking Kihyun is just a mood XD
hungrypusheen
#10
Chapter 24: Yow Hyungwoo is pisseedd hahahahaha