Ch.5- I Hate That We’re Stuck

A/N-I hardly ever do Point of Views from Minseok’s side and I noticed my story has become a bit sappy. I’ll continue writing more.

Minseok’s POV

            I don’t think I’ve messed up too, bad in life. I’d say that I take other’s feelings into consideration and that I push through barriers I’m not meant to break. It’s in my nature that I find myself putting others before myself in general. So, how did I mess up this bad?

            My palms felt moist as my boyfriend stared at my date for the night. This is it. This is where my life crumbles apart and my shaky reality collapses in on itself. What madness have brought upon myself. I’m doomed and it’s all because I was feeling a little lonely. I’m a horrible person. There’s a special place in hell fo-.

            “H-Hey, your that guy, right?” Sehun spluttered out.

“Huh?” Making me take my eyes of Han’s for what seemed like an eternity. Sehun was making a distraction for me and he didn’t even know it.

            “I…guess I am?” Lu Han obviously didn’t know how to respond. His turned a bit to face me fully. Confusion flashing over his features. Trying desperately to pry an answer or even the slightest idea of what was happening from me. He would get none.

            “Oh, this is my childhood friend, Lu Han.       He comes to stay from time to time.” I knew how this would go. I’d protect his secret before my own shot at happiness.

            “Ah, we talk about you sometimes at practice. I just debuted, too.” Sehun said, standing up a bit straighter. For what reason, I do not know. However, if I had to take a guess, it was probably that damn pride coming through again.

            “Debuted, that’s good.” Lu han was showing not even a speck of interest for the younger boy. Instead, he was probably had the golden question of the hour raging through his mind. Who was this unfamiliar person in my house?

            “You saw my apartment. Now, hold up your end and go back to your dorm. You wouldn’t want to do extra drills in the morning, would you?” I chimed in when he went to talk to Han again.

            “Ah, but hyung is so cool! How can I leave now? Who else do you have up here? G-Dragon?” Trust Sehun to make light of my dissent into darkness.

            “Out you go. C’mon, one foot in front of the other.” Somehow managing to get the kid out the door. I faced the closed door for a minute. Not daring to turn around. It’s not like he could have known I was on a date with Sehun, right? Nothing happened. He didn’t say anything that would give me away. I’m safe. Mother of god, sweet baby Jesus, I’ve made it.

            “Childhood friend, huh?” I turned around at his voice.

            “Sorry, if my lies aren’t what they used to be. I wasn’t given a heads up that I was housing a superstar.” I hissed out a bit too roughly. I didn’t mean any harm by it but, I just had mini heart attack over my kind of infidelity.

            “I just wanted to surprise you…” He said in a hushed tone. My anger receding quickly. The adrenaline had passed. Leaving only numbness in it’s wake.

            “It worked.” I pulled off my jacket and walked towards my room. Needing to get into the shower after I just sweat out all my nervousness.

            I sat on my bed. Why am I being such an to him? On all the nights he could show up, he shows up now. When I’m finally comfortable letting myself go and being happy. Why can’t my life just move smoothly like it’s suppose to? Why does he keep ing me over?!

Lu Han’s POV

I watched Minseok walk past me and straight to the bedroom. Not bothering to look at me. I thought he’d be happy to see me but, I guess I was wrong. I starred and the dark hallway he had went through. I needed this to work. I promised myself that we would work.

“Minnie,” I called out while opening the door. “Did you already eat?” He stopped glaring at the wallpaper and his face softened.

“Yeah, what about you?” He said, offhandedly.

“Well, I actually have to stick to my diet and-…” He sighed, slipping his shoes off and slowly stripping what was left of his clothes. He still seemed to be in his work uniform.

“Nevermind then.” He picked out a few clothes from his dresser before heading out to the bathroom. He was shirtless and only clad in his underwear.

 It made me wonder when was the last time I touched him. I could hardly remember what sounds he made how his skin felt touching mine. Sure, we had quickies now and then when I managed to come back but, it always felt as if we were sneaking around. Like any moment we would be caught. Kisses were luxuries and even mild eye contact in the open became dangerous to my image.  Our love is straining and we both know it.

I opened the door and saw the steam rising above the curtain. Knowing he’d be behind the flimsy plastic. Scrubbing diligently at his body. The smell of his passionfruit shampoo wafting in the sweet mist. If I had the energy or the drive I’d pull back the curtain and give in to all the cravings I’d had away from him. Somehow it didn’t feel right.

 I sat down on the closed toilet lid. Listen to the spray of the nozzle and the sloshing of soap over his skin. I felt the question pop up again but, it wasn’t urgent or hadn’t any anger in it. It was curiousity.

“Where’d you meet… Seo Young?”

“It’s Sehun. At the coffee shop.” A monotone reply came out.

“How long have you known him?”

“I don’t know, like a month or whatever.” He seemed to be irritated with the questions. Not that he had a reason to be but, I just wanted to make small talk.

“Oh,, well you seemed close. He came to the apartment and all. Is he a regular to the shop or-…”

“He’s just a customer who hangs out there.” He cut me off. He turned the handle to stop the constant spray of water. Pulling the curtain back and not bothering with the towel. That’s how his body looks. He dressed quickly and brushed his teeth through our silence. He slowly toweled dried his hair and rubbed on moisturizer. Turning the light off and leaving me in the darkness.

As we finally lay in the bed in that same darkness, I felt the need to be closer even for a minute. I circled my arms around him. Forgotten memories falling back into place. My sense being rewired and my brain firing into play. He turned and faced me. Our eyes meeting for a moment before he rested his head in the crook of my neck.

“You left for a long time.” He said. Voice even but tired.

“I know.”

“Stop doing that.”

“I can’t.” We said nothing as I watched him succumb to sleep. We both knew it was futile to ask and foolish to hope.