Ch. 2-I Really Do Miss You

Lu Han’s POV

                As I waved and smiled into the camera for the final good-bye, I could only hope that Minseok wasn’t watching it. I know I had lied and it truly was hard for me. I did feel awful when I said with full confidence that I would not be able to see him in the following weeks. Every single time I feigned tiredness over the phones speaker and listened to the poorly concealed hurt in the voice I wished I could hear everyday. It was terrible and I felt it. There was no way around it.

                The truth is, is that it is tough. To say, that my body does not ache as I climb out of the chair I’ve sat in for 45 minutes is an outright lie. I see my manager waiting in the corner on the phone with somewhere else I ‘need’ to be and my team waiting to doll me up yet, again is nothing short of what my life has become.

                “We leave in three hours. You’ll be able to sleep in the van and at the airport.” He said, knowing full well that it is almost impossible for me to sleep soundly on a flying plane.

                I nodded. It had become common knowledge for me now to cherish what little sleep I could grab while promoting. Promoting for the last three weeks without end can be difficult for a solo artist. I am only one person.

                I check my phone briefly as I take a seat in the make up chair once again. Hoping to whatever power that I would not find the accusing text that I had lied through my teeth. In relief, I saw none. Which is at the same time still disheartening. I missed the constant and strong line of support that I had started my career with. Honestly, I missed my past.

                As the van pulled up, I was escorted quickly into it. Not, of course, without dodging the hands that reached out desperately for me. Security could only try to hold back the hordes that gathered around me. It was only so often that I was in Korea. Sadly, it goes without saying that my fans probably had more contact with me than I could ever hope to have with Minseok. It was a cruel reality that I I was fighting to accept.

                “Oppa! Oppa! Lu-Lu!” I could still hear them as we drove away. I smiled from the window and waved excitedly. More happy to say farewell, than to please the teenage mob. What I could give for a moment of peace. Just for sliver of silence that was not filled with the unending loneliness that filled my days.

                My phone blipped. 1 new message. My breath hitched for only a moment. Sitting there for five minutes and just mulling over what could possibly be inside the little digital envelope. I took a breath and manually opened it.

                Minnie: Have a nice flight!!! :)

                I was caught and now I could only cover my lie again. It hurt.

                Me: Yeah, can’t believe they flew me out for this little show. Hate it when things aren’t scheduled in advance lol

                Here we go again. I don’t want to hide from him. I’ve hidden the truth for so long. The glaring truth of this industry is tearing at me but, I have nowhere to go but, down on both ends. I need to let something go. I’m afraid I might let the wrong thing escape me.

                If I let my career go, to be with him, I could lose everything. My name and my dream would vanish and every girl would know that every love song and smile wasn’t meant for them. Not even close. I couldn’t even try to live a peaceful life with him. He could be affected by it too. I don’t want to taint his name and drag him down with me and for what? I’m needy and couldn’t keep my mouth shut?

                If I let him go. Then, I hardly have a purpose to all this mess. What does it all mean? What point was I trying to make if I go down that road?

                I can’t decide so we’ll both suffer for now. I look down one last time before continuing out the van and into the airport. I’m not being fair but, life isn’t fair either, is it?

Regular POV

 Minseok banged the side of the espresso machine for good measure. The damn thing was acting up again and right in the middle of the morning coffee rush. What’s the point in spending hundreds of dollars if it just fails on you?

“Just spit it out will you!” He yells futilely at the contraption.

“Y’know, things don’t work as quick as you want when you’re in a rush.” A voice said behind him. He turned around to see a man in a hoodie, leaning over the counter. Probably waiting for the liquid to come out of it’s hiding place also.

“I swear this thing can tell when I need it to go faster.” He huffed and slid his hands into his apron. “Why can’t people just order drip coffee or something?” He said, more or less under his breath.

“They know how good your lattes are. You shouldn’t make them so well then, if you don’t want people to order.” The brown haired man said while smirking. He had a gleam in his eye that refused to go away this early in the morning. God knows how it got there.

“I don’t know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment.” Then, like magic the liquid begins to fill the cup. “Ah, there we go. Good boy!” He said and patted the top of the machine for extra measure. “One infuriating latte for, Sehun?” He questioned as he read the name off the cup.

“You’re adorable.” The man or maybe boy commented. He reached out for the cup and took a sip. “You really do make them good, y’know.” He winked before turning and waltzing out of the shop. The jingle of the bell ringing in the air after he had long gone. The only sign he had been there was the blush painting Minseok’s cheeks.

“He was interesting. Really cute, too.” Jongdae chimed from behind him. Immediately pulling him out of his daze.

“Hm. Yeah, guess he was.” He said turning to start another order.

 Minseok glanced at his phone. He had read and reread the text from Lu Han last night. Over and over. The covered lie and shakey quick responses were becoming a trend that he could not handle. Maybe it really was time but, he'd keep that that in the midst of his thoughts. Ready to eat at him as the day goes on.