CHAPTER 24

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The past few days at camp had been nothing out of the ordinary. I attended drama club in the morning, where most of club time was spent working on writing the skits for the final show. After that, I went to soccer practice. The practices had grown more intense, as we started practicing more with our teams to prepare for the tournament style games to start.

All traces of the niceness that Luhan had shown towards me disappeared on the field, but he didn’t go out of his way to make my life harder. For that, I was thankful.  I convinced myself that he could see how hard I was trying. I wanted to play with the team and prove to them that I could keep up and that wasn’t a worthless player. I felt like I was really starting to show my capabilities.

The day of the first game, Taekwoon and I walked to the field together. Out of nervousness, I rattled off every disastrous game scenario I could think of. He politely listened and calmed my nerves, reminding me that we’d all practiced and were ready. He explained the rules of the tournament games to me.

Because the teams were smaller, the length of the game was shortened to twenty minutes. Teams would play five on five, the other one or two team members acted as substitutes. The small teams and short games meant that everyone had to work extra hard to make any sort of progress on the field. Today, we were playing against Baro’s team, so I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

Our team had a short warm up, and a huddle to discuss strategy for the game. Luhan assigned positions. I waited with anticipation only to be disappointed when I’d been placed on the bench. I thought things had improved, but it was clear that Luhan still didn’t trust me enough to take part in his precious soccer game.  

The game started, and there I sat. The benefit of sitting on the bench was that I had plenty of time to observe everyone during the game. I couldn’t help but watch Luhan. He attracted as much attention on the field as he did off it. He took forward position, as usual. That much I expected from him. The thing that I didn’t expect was him forcing our team members to change positions with him during the game.

I may have still been learning about soccer, but I knew you didn’t change positions every time another player made a mistake. Luhan switched from a forward to defense position in a matter of seconds. The worst was that he was so obnoxious every time he did it. He would run all the way across the field to the ball our team was already there.

I could just imagine him saying something like, "if I don't play all the positions, nothing will get accomplished on the field." He was being a pompous jerk and letting the competition get to him. I understand he wanted to win, but he was ignoring the feelings and abilities of his team.

I couldn’t help but wonder what had changed in him from the tug of war match. He had been so supportive and helped us prepare. Maybe the only reason he helped us was because he couldn’t participate directly. It was almost like being in control. He trusted us because he didn’t have a choice. Was that why it had been so hard for him to compliment me? Because we, I, had proved his expectations wrong? I couldn’t understand why he suddenly treating me as if I needed to prove myself to him before playing in the game. Hadn’t I done that? Soccer practice should have supported my case.

If I had been on Minseok’s team, he wouldn't have made me sit out. He'd have faith in his team. As cliché as it is when people say, "there is no 'I' in team," I wished someone would tell Luhan. Not just say it to him, but also knock it into his thick skull.

Suddenly a whistle blew. I was pulled from my thoughts to see everyone kneeling on the field. One of my teammates was sitting on the grass clutching at his ankle. The camp staff lifted the boy up and helped him shuffle off the field.

"Jisoo, get out here," Luhan ordered. "Huddle up."

We all gathered in a group at midfield. Leo gave me a soft smile as he pushed in next to me. I felt a strange sense of anxiety coursing through my body. Was Luhan actually letting me play?

"Here's the plan. Leo, you take center forward. I'm gonna hang back in goal. Everyone else take your usual positions. We're tied, but we can still win this. Unlike some people, nothing will get past me in the goal." Luhan threw an annoyed look at the goalie.

That poor kid had done nothing wrong. If Luhan had let our defense do its job, the other team wouldn’t have scored.

“I don't want the ball getting to the goal, so I'm taking precautions in case it does,” he continued on. “Jisoo, stand off to the left of the goal near the corner. Hopefully your presence will be enough to keep them away from that side. The others will get the ball. Just stay there and don't get in the way. Let's win this!"

I got excited for nothing. I wasn't playing. I was just a placeholder. I was meant to be a deterrent to the other team, like a sheep dog to his flock. I felt worse for the goalie. Luhan had no shame is calling out the kid’s mistake. He tried to stop the ball, and I thought he was doing his job quite nicely, but nothing seemed to be to Luhan's standards.

"Luhan can't keep being like this," I whispered to Leo before we took positions. Someone needs to teach him a lesson," I complained.

"You could do it," Leo said supportively.

I don't know what I expected to hear from Leo, but it wasn't that. It gave me an idea.

"You won't like what I'm about to do, but if you get me the ball, I think I can show Luhan to mind his place on the team. He can only be captain as long as he has support. I'm gonna start an uprising!"

The game resumed. I stood closer to midfield than I was supposed to. Of course I got yelled at it about it. I assured Luhan I'd scare the other team away sooner, if I was closer. I said that I'd move to the corner soon.

My heart raced as I watched Leo race after the ball. What I was about to do was either stupidly brilliant or just plain stupid. Leo held up two fingers in the air, signaling to me the play position he wanted me to take. I ran towards the right side line and watched as the ball landed directly in front of me. All I needed to do now was make it to the goal.

Baro, who was on the other team, was on me in an instant. I managed to keep the ball from him. I could tell he was struggling with confusion, as I headed towards his teams goal.

"You know that your goal is at the other end of the field, right? You are headed to my goal," he panted as he ran next to me.

"I know, but there is a little problem down here I have to fix. Trust me. It'll benefit you."

Baro let off the pressure but still followed behind me. I could hear my teammates yelling at me, but nothing distinctly stood out. My focus was on Luhan. He was radiant with anger, yelling at me to "turn the around." The way his arms were flying made him look like a lousy excuse for an air traffic controller. It was glorious.

Everyone had backed off, Baro included. None of the members on my team had even come to stop me. I assumed Leo had a hand in that. The scene was just like in practice, me against the goalie. Luhan came forward out of the goal still yelling at me. What an idiot.