I kept on getting that nightmare, night after night. I’d go to the house every night and see Jieun there. She’d greet me at the door like she always did, we’d go to her room like we always did, and we’d play with her stuffed animals, like we always did.

Adelaide was never there.

The conspicuous lack of Jieun's favorite stuffed animal was not lost on me, nor was the fact that Jieun never once mentioned Adelaide.

I ignored it though. Jieun was fine. Of course she was fine. She had to be fine. She was perfectly okay. Everything was fine.

We were fine. We had to be fine.

The dreams kept coming though. Horrible nightmare after nightmare.

I’d wake up screaming, night after night. Every night, you’d wake me up and comfort me. I wish I could say it helped, but it didn’t. Not even you could make my fear go away.

I watched as you grew more scared for me as the nights went by. You looked more and more exhausted as the days went by. I refused to sleep. I’d stay awake, staring at the wall, night after night, staying awake by drinking coffee after coffee. You’d plead for me to sleep, for me to rest.

I couldn’t rest. Not with those dreams.

I’d stay awake for as long as I could until I was so tired that I just passed out.

You got sleeping pills for me. It only made things worse for me. I coul