Comedy by Murder (by Shinealightrose)

Drowsy Science

Did I go at the science thing too strong?  Lu Han kept asking himself. 

Blunt, be blunt, the other Lu Han had advised him. Well, whatever Lu Han did now it was already in the script and would apparently pay off, so... 

As he followed Minseok down a long hallway towards a rear-facing room, he couldn't help notice how lethargically the man moved. Like a man who was endlessly tired. Lu Han knew that look. Minseok at this age wouldn't be too different from the one he knew in the future. Minseok was afraid of falling asleep. It was evidenced by the circles under his eyes, the stress lines along his forehead. And yet, he was different. More chill, more open. Lu Han couldn't have imagined a ten year older Minseok offering to show a stranger his notes on the theory of time travel, but soon here Lu Han was, pouring over handwritten observations with Minseok gazing over his shoulder curiously asking Lu Han what he thought. 

"It's... hmm, yes I can see it from the... design you've drawn here... I, it... yeah," Lu Han bluffed his entire way through. He had no idea how this stuff actually worked. He didn't know how Minseok had come to imagine the blueprints and then actually put the damned machine together. He just knew that it worked. Also, that the prototype here was just a bit off from the one Lu Han had first travelled through. 

"Were all these purple wires here before-- I mean, are they necessary? "Lu Han goofed, staring at the drawings. "I was thinking there ought to be more blue, like this line here." Beside each part Minseok had scribbled line after line of mathematical formulas the likes of which Lu Han knew squat. 

But Minseok stared where Lu Han pointed and nodded. "Hmm, perhaps you're right. See here, this is where the body, or the person, is supposed to sit and once mass is applied and synced to the calculations inserted here... hooked up with this wire here, the blue one, to life-sync the entire body to the destined location..." 

On and on Minseok talked, Lu Han nodding at all the right times. At least he tried to anyways. But the whole point was lost on him. Minseok was truly a mad genius whose sleep deprivation and wakeless wanderings had inspired, or would inspire, a field of science never before seen in this world. 

"Yeah,  yeah, that's... so cool," he inserted whenever he could get a word in edgewise. Meanwhile, Minseok blathered on. 

"And so yes assuming all those calculations are correct and I have appropriately fielded the body, theoretically it should work. Oh, have you had some tea? Here, it's probably cold. Please, help yourself. And yeah, those assumptions are really important though. I mean, if I get one calculation wrong even by a minuscule, the person in the machine could die or get lost or, I don't know, turn into a rat from sheer stress alone. It would be hideous."

Lu Han spewed his tea all over the table. Luckily he avoided drenching Minseok's notes. The owner of these theories stared dazedly at him for a second and then exhaled long and hard. "I'm probably boring you... I'm sorry. Forgive me. It's just I'm not used to someone who is actually interested in my work. Baekhyun thinks I'm a lunatic already. By the way, how did you say you knew Baekhyun? I really did think I knew most of his friends."

Lu Han gulped. Recovering from his tea accident he repeated quickly, "Our fathers were friends." 

He pounded his chest still coughing. Something on his taste buds was just a bit peculiar.

"Yeah, Baekhyun's father is... quite the recluse I always thought," said Minseok.

Lu Han wouldn't meet his eyes. He didn't know Baekhyun. Well, he didn't know this Baekhyun. Unfortunately, Minseok's best friend who would eventually become a rat in the future, had overheard Lu Han's confession at the doorway, something Lu Han hadn't anticipated. Baekhyun had stared at him for a long moment. "I am Baekhyun, not Minseok. And yes, I am attractive. I fully admit it." 

Lu Han had balked. "B-Baekhyun?" he squeaked. "But, but you're a rat!? You're alive, wait you're an actual person. Oh my god, you're friends with Minseok and you turned into a rat. Is that how you used to be?"

Tilting his head sideways, Baekhyun had grinned. His smile was wide, cautious, appraising. "Perhaps, but I am not a rat, sir! I can assure you of that." Then he'd lowered his voice. "What's your name?"

"I'm... Lu Han."

"Lu Han, huh? Never heard of you but you apparently know Minseok super well if you know about his family curse. And you're not related otherwise Minseok would know about you and have met you in a different world. I can only assume you're from some other future which means Minseok's device is actually going to work someday. Tell me now, and whether I let you through this door depends on what you say. Why are you here, what do you want, and what makes you his soulmate? Not that I'm going to say he doesn't need one, because honestly, man needs a soulmate. Okay, Lu Ho whatever your name is, you have thirty seconds to persuade me, starting now. Go."

Miraculously, Lu Han had persuaded him. Which brought about the next set of curious events.

Which brought him back to that weird gut feeling in his stomach that something was off.

Which brought Lu Han to seek out a chair to sit on when his knees began growing wobbly. 

His head swam, his vision faded and brightened and faded again. 

"What's... happening... you... drugged me..."

Minseok bent over him. Lu Han felt him prodding his eyelid, felt the distinct tug of his lid and the snap when Minseok let it go. Now on top of his stomach, even his eyeball hurt.

"Not to worry, it won't kill you."

Lu Han snorted. "Well, wouldn't... be... the first... time." His head came into abrupt contact with the wall behind him. "Ow."

Minseok frowned. "What do you mean, wouldn't be the first time?"

He could barely get his tongue to work. Even still, he couldn't helped be impressed by this comedy.  "Minseok, you killed me once already... in the future. How come... you're... so damn... suspicious... any-anyways? I just came... to... help... you..."

Then he passed out.

 

 

 

Was it hours later when he finally came to? Lu Han groaned. His throat scratched, his head reeled. His vision still blurred. He was in a darkened room laying on a sofa. He recognized the table in front of him as the one where he'd looked over Minseok's notes. Apparently he wasn't dead, that was good news. Also, Minseok hadn't gone very far. He heard voices from the other room, Baekhyun it sounded like, arguing with Minseok.

"You drugged him?!" said the man-rat.

"Yeah?" Minseok scoffed defensively. "What was I supposed to do? You let a stranger into my house who started spewing nonsense about blue and purple wires. I got scared! I needed things to slow down!"

"But you actually drugged him."

"Calm down, he's not dead. He's in the other room. He thinks I killed him."

Baekhyun said, "What?"

"In the future, I don't know. Apparently I killed him and now he's back."

"Hah. Wow. You actually are a psychopath, Minseok, I always knew it. He said he was your soulmate or something, by the way, not to be nosy--"

Minseok went on like he didn't hear him. "He's from the future, Baekhyun. Do you know what this means?!"

"It means you're a murderous psychopath in the future too."

"It means my theory is correct! It means I'll build that machine! It means I'll... wait, did you say he was my soulmate?!"

From there on Lu Han couldn't hear them. Their conversation had dwindled down into a whisper. In the meantime he tried to move. He got as far as realizing that his legs were tied together and nothing else. Except it didn't sink in until he'd tried to stand and fell to the ground, landing with a bang and crumpling into a heap of whimpers. 

The commotion brought the two other men running. Someone flipped a gaslamp. Soon Lu Han was staring at two sets of shoes. 

"Uhm, Lu Han, sir?" It was Baekhyun asking.

Lu Han sighed. There was nothing else to do. "Yeah? I'm here." 

The man bent down to peer at Lu Han closer to his level. "Yeah, how are you, buddy? Sorry for leaving you with my crazy friend. I didn't know he'd try to actually kill you."

"Once again," Minseok protested hotly, "I didn't try to kill him!" 

"Yet," Lu Han provided. 

Minseok groaned. "Okay, fine, we'll play it your way. Baekhyun, get him back on his feet. Then we can talk, will that make both of you happy?"

Baekhyun smiled. "Gladly! Oh, and just to break the ice, Minseok, because I haven't told you yet. Lu Han thinks you're hot. There, now we've no more secrets between us. Oh but wait, how do I even become a rat again? I'm confused about that part. Somebody? Anyone? Wait, no one wants to explain?" 

 

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Comments

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Kitten_XIU_DAE
#1
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY
Newmoon10
#2
Chapter 30: *Thirty years later* just kidding! I'm so happy that you're back. I was afraid that you had abandoned this story. It's so good.
noonsryd #3
Chapter 29: Arghh!!!! Finallyyyyyyyy the update!!!!!! So impressive as always
noonsryd #4
Chapter 28: I’m still waiting and btw this story has the best plot of all fics that I’ve read.
19cutieangel90 #5
Chapter 28: Hi, it’s been a while
TissueFairyMinseok
#6
Chapter 28: i see baekhyun has priorities
exo9977 #7
Chapter 28: Wow baekhyun can travel now
actuallyanti
#8
Chapter 28: Wow when was the last time i saw this interesting concept of fanfic? Probably never, i love both of you and your fic, and when i saw you two make this fic this i kinda scream, lmao. I knew it will be good of course, but damn I'm not expecting this, quick question tho just out of curiosity, did you just write and then continue from the other one writes, or you set some point where you will write then the other continue to another point? Just curious how this is works ^^
Keandick
#9
Chapter 27: as my colorguard coach would say 'lets not be a hot mess express'. Im looking at you Minseok
exo9977 #10
Chapter 27: Xiuhan love is progressing