Amber (Part 6): Decision
Paris: The City of My Heart
I woke up to the sound of chirping birds and a hand playing with my hair. I opened my eyes to see the smiling man in front of me.
“Morning, ma petite chou,” he greeted cordially, smiling so widely with dimples decorating his cheeks.
I would have hit and glared at him for calling me ‘ma petite chou’. It's a weird French nickname which means ‘my little cabbage’. I hate it and see no good in the name, although it sounds slightly better than ‘ma puce’ (my flea). But this time, I was too happy to find him awake, safe and sound.
“Do you know that sleeping like that is bad for your back? And you’re a doctor!" he reprimanded my way of sleeping: sitting on a chair and my head on his bed.
“Myung Soo!” I jumped up to give him an awkward hug, him lying on the bed and me leaning over him.
He chuckled. “You’re too happy to even glare at me huh?”
I ignored him and reprimanded, “Please don’t ever do that again! You fool!”
He gave a minuscule smile and offered, “Would you like to get on the bed?”
I looked down at the small space on that hospital bed and he scooted to the edge which had the railing up to give me some space. I took my boots off and climbed in next to him under the blanket. I cuddled up to him as he stared at me with that tender look of his. I looked into his brown eyes and all of a sudden, it came out.
“I love you.”
As soon as it came out, he looked perplexed for a moment before pouting in dismay, which caused me to raise an eyebrow questioningly. “Not fair! I want to be the first to say that!”
Then it hit me. We never actually said them, the three words—two words in French—to each other. I was getting use to all those things that came in a package with romance and relationship: the way Myung Soo held my hand and squeezed it tight as if he didn’t want to let me go; the way he hugged me from behind every day, how possessive and protective it felt. But we forgot those words.
I almost laughed at our foolishness. “I just realised we never said it.”
“Take it back!” he demanded sternly. “I want to say it first!”
I chuckled. “No, I’m not taking it back!”
“Fine!” he gave in. “But I’ll say it every day from now on, so you better listen carefully!”'
I beamed and nodded in agreement, though I wondered if I could have the opportunity to listen to him saying them every day.
“I love you,” he said, looking into my eyes. He kissed my forehead before looking into my eyes again. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“Stop it, that’s too much! I’ll gag if you say it all the time!”
“But you made me lose the first time chance! I want to make it up,” he insisted stubbornly.
I stuck my tongue out at him. “Too bad. First in best dressed!”
“I love you more though!”
I frowned in disagreement and argued, “No, I love you more!”
“You know how I love hot chocolate?" He paused and waited for my response, which was staring blankly at him. “Well, I love you infinity times more than I love hot chocolate!”
My laughter broke out. I stretched up and landed a peck on his lips. I was going for his cheek, but then I felt like it didn’t feel sincere enough. He beamed gleefully for a moment before it disappeared and he sighed.
“Myung? Is everything okay?”
“Amber, you remember Christmas Eve?”
I raised an eyebrow. What part of Christmas Eve was he referring to?
He reached for my left hand and caressed it. And I got it.
“What about leaving Paris with me?”
What about leaving Paris with me?
What about leaving Paris with me?
What about leaving Paris with me?
What about leaving Paris with me?
He took a deep breath before continuing. “I know it was my dad who sent that car to hit you. I know you are smart enough to be aware that he is against us, and I know he threatened to kill you if you don’t leave me.” I blinked as I took in what he said. “I’ve thought about it. I know that we’ve promised to keep living for each other, but this is no way out, Amber. Papa won’t change his mind. He is going to fight to the death just like I’m going to fight for you to the death. I think this is the best way. I know that we haven’t finished uni, but… would you like to leave Paris for a while?”
I propped myself up with my elbow and stared at him in disbelief. “What?”
He squeezed my hand and continued, “What I meant is that I’ve saved enough money for us to survive for at least half-a-year before I get a new job. So, I’m thinking we could go somewhere and stay low-profile for a while before we figure out our next step. We can go to Sydney if you want.”
Sydney? He wants to go to Sydney with me? But if we go there, his dad would find my family and who knows what he's capable of doing.
“But I know that would risk your family big time.” It was like he could read my mind. “So, I’m thinking we could go local around France or somewhere in Europe before leaving the country. I—“
“Myung Soo,” I cut him off, “are you… do you want to elope with me?” My brows knitted together at how weird it sounded.
He looked down to the pillow sheepishly. “Well, if you want to.” His eyes returned to me and he said, “You tell me what you want me to do. But please... don’t leave me.”
He sounded so helpless when he pleaded me that it made me sad. There was a look of genuine tenderness in his eyes that I couldn't look away from. He slowly lifted up his hand and caressed my cheek. As his thumb touched my skin, my heart raced faster than before. It made me wonder how such a simple act could make me hold my breath. And it was only with him that these happened to me.
I cupped his face and grabbed him in for a slow open-mouthed kiss. I just felt like doing it because… I felt his love. I felt that he wanted to do something for this relationship and my decision of doing the right thing dissipated just like the carbon dioxide leaving my body when I breathe out. I felt like my determination weakened whenever I was with him. I hated how he made me feel vulnerable around him. I hated that me. I hated it, but I didn’t want him to not be around me.
Therefore, that morning, we spent a few hours discussing the places we could go to. Belgium, Italy, Nimes1, and Toulouse2 came to our mind. Nimes and Toulouse are still parts of France and Myung Soo believed that ‘the most dangerous place is the safest place to be’, which I disagreed to. ‘The most unexpected place is the safest place to be’ is more like it. Sydney and Australia itself were way too obvious. Myung Soo said they would think that he would follow me and it was safe to choose a place in Europe since they didn’t know what I would be thinking, like he could—he claimed that he could, though I laughed it off.
Our discussion was discontinued when the nurse came in to do Myung Soo’s vital signs. Meanwhile, I texted Sung Yeol like I promised.
~*~*~
“By the way, I have a question."
“What is it?”
“If you have friends like Sung Yeol, why did you stay at my place?”
“Because he lives with Hyun Ah and his dad at their apartment. I’m not going to live at my dad’s friend’s house.”
"Who’s Hyun Ah?”
Before he could answer, our conversation was interrupted by the cry of a girl.
“Oppa!” She ran to hug Myung Soo, who was sitting up on his bed, swallowing his food.
Her long wavy locks bounced on her back as her slender body approached Myung Soo. Although I didn’t know the girl, I didn’t feel jealous. I mean did I need to?
“Hello, little sister!” Myung Soo greeted her back, grinning. He turned to me and introduced the girl, “Amber, this is Hyun Ah. Hyun Ah, meet—”
“Yah!” the girl protested. “I’m not your sister! I’m Sung Yeol Oppa’s sister! And,” she said as I noticed Sung Yeol muttering a chant of something like “Don’t say it!”. “I’m your fiancée!”
My eyebrow spontaneously rose at her words. Sung Yeol smacked his face into his palm. “This babo,” I heard him murmuring.
Myung Soo chuckled casually as he turned to me. “I have a fiancée already, Hyun Ah, and that’s the girl standing next to Sung Yeol.”
Sung Yeol looked up to his sister, then to me. Hyun Ah Lee was staring at me, dumbstruck. I was expecting a tantrum due to jealousy, but I was surprised when she laughed it off. She went over to me and extended her hand out, which I accepted, as we introduced ourselves.
“Well, I’m not worried, Oppa. Sooner or later, you’re going to break up with this girl anyway. Uncle and Appa have agreed to this marriage.” She shrugged indifferently, then turned to me with eyes showing pity. She looked at the time and excused herself. “Oh, time to go! I’m at the kids’ ward today. I’ll visit you later, Oppa!”
With that, she left like a wind that breezed past. Sung Yeol explained that Hyun Ah, like me, was a Medical student. She was two years younger than us, but had been visiting the hospital with her colleagues. After Sung Yeol excused himself for lunch, I turned to find Myung Soo pursing his lips together to stifle a smile.
I simpered and strode towards him. “So, you have a fiancée eh?”
“Amber, I treat her like a sister,” Myung Soo said, his eyes glistening cheekily. He was enjoying this.
“No wonder your dad’s against us. So it was this.”
He reached over for my waist and pulled me closer. “Are you jealous?”
I feigned a thinking expression. “Do I look like I’m jealous?”
“Spit it out! I know you have questions.”
“Don’t have any,” I said, releasing myself from his embrace and sat on my chair and pretended to play with my phone.
Myung Soo started talking anyway. He told me that the three of them grew up together and that Mr Lee is Mr Kim’s sworn-brother and right-hand man and that they had arranged for Myung Soo and Hyun Ah’s marriage and that Hyun Ah "seems" to have a crush on Myung Soo.
“I didn’t ask you to tell me these. I’m not jealous.” I shrugged.
“But I want to be honest with you.”
“Okay.”
“And…” he trailed off as he averted his gaze from me, "there’s something…”
I raised an eyebrow, unamused. “What? Did you sleep with her?”
His head snapped back to me with his eyes widened. “I swear it was only once! We were drunk! That was my first time.”
Great. Not only was she his fiancée, she was also the first girl he slept with.
He saw my expression and suddenly burst out laughing. “Gotcha! As if I’d sleep with my sister.” He made a scowling expression before munching on the apple I peeled and cut for him earlier.
I glared at him in dismay. Without a word, I got up.
“Where are you going?” he panicked.
“Off to find Yeollie,” I answered with the first thing that came to my head.
“Yeollie?!” Almost choking on his apple, his eyes stared at me in alarm. “What? Why?"
“Because you don’t want to marry his sister, he must be offended.” I shrugged again. “Oh well, even if you do want to....” Myung Soo frowned, having stopped chewing altogether and leaving the apple on the side of his mouth. “Sung Yeol’s available, and he’s pretty hot.” I gave him a wink and skipped out of the room, leaving him to shout in frustration.
~*~*~
Myung Soo was discharged three days later and we waited for New Year to come. I was excited to spend my first New Year in Paris. Myung Soo took me to the Eiffel Tower to see some fireworks on New Year’s Eve. We shouldn’t have come out. We should have stayed at home and cuddled up in bed while watching the fireworks on TV or just have a nice dinner party with Myung Soo’s close friends—who else other than Sung Yeol, Hyun Ah, and Woo Hyun. But no, we decided to watch the fireworks at the Eiffel Tower.
I should’ve listened to Myung Soo’s dad—no, we should’ve left together earlier.
After watching the fireworks at midnight, we walked back home with his arm on my waist, holding me close to him in the cold street of Paris. As we reached the entrance of our apartment, I heard a shot—no, two shots. And a blazing prick of pain erupted in my chest before shooting up to my skull. My fingers stiffened and I fell, as Myung Soo did next to me. A second later, there was nothing but blackness.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
1 Nimes, name derived from Nemausas (Celtic God of Volcae Arecomici), is the capital of Gard department in the Languedoc-Roussillon region in southern France.
2 Toulouse, known as La Ville Rose (The Pink City), is the capital of the Midi-Pyrénées region, the largest region in urban France. It is the fourth largest city in the country and is more than 600 kilometres away from Paris, 5 hours apart by train.
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