Channel 8- Big Mac

Kibum was the first one to wake up the next morning. He found Kyuhyun asleep sprawled out on the desk, and instead of doing anything about him, he just walked right by and lit a cigarette. He didn't smoke it, though. He only held it.

Then he made himself some coffee. He didn't drink that. He just held it.

Then he went to the window. He looked out it. NO REALLY! HE DID! He didn't just go to the window to stand in that particular part of the room! Imagine that!

It was raining.

He looked like he was about to go into a long monologue when he noticed Siwon sitting across the room brewing some coffee.

"Um…hey!" Siwon said.

"Hi." Said Kibum.

The two of them remained in silence for a little while.

"So…" Siwon said. "How's the case been going so far?"

Kibum gave a heavy sigh. "Let me put it this way, I keep two magnums in my desk," he said wistfully. "One's a gun, and I make sure to keep it loaded. The other's a bottle, and it keeps me loaded. I'm Kim Kibum…private eye."

Kibum put down his coffee and put that hand in his pocket, and Siwon only watched him move across the room.

"This case is no easy case, but then again, you don't hire a private eye for the easy cases. And if only business was as good as my aim, I'd be on easy street. I still remember the day trouble walked in my door. Blonde, as usual."

He looked mournfully back at the window. "The sound of her tears soaking in her tissue is not what moved me, but the sound of greenbacks slapping across my palm was music for to my ears, because it meant she had a case, even though she sounded like a case herself. But I can't choose my clients."

Siwon blinked and twiddled his fingers. He didn't think it would be very polite to tell Kibum that he didn't want to hear the WHOLE story. Just something that might potentially help in the future solving of the case.

"It was the dame's husband." Kibum said. "She thought it was Big Mac."

"Big Mac?" Siwon repeated skeptically.

"Yes." Said Kibum. "You see, Big Mac tends to make people disappear by introducing them to a friend very close to his heart. A little down and left, to be specific, and this friend is an eloquent speaker and usually makes two or three profound arguments while he leaves the room."

"I don't get your analogy." Siwon said, looking ultimately confused, but was thankfully rescued when Jaejoong walked in yawning flamboyantly.

"Good morning!" Jaejoong exclaimed. Then he looked out the window. "Aw man! Raining?"

"Obviously!" said Siwon with a chuckle.

"I feel like it always rains on Mondays around here." Said Kibum. "And every day feels like a Monday when work is a full time job."

"Wait, so is it Monday right now?" Jaejoong said, but Kibum didn't answer because he was WAY too busy looking wistful.

Jaejoong only stared at Kibum, and then looked over at Siwon who shrugged just as flamboyantly as Jaejoong was JUST yawning.

"I wonder if Kyuhyun solved the case last night." Said Jaejoong. "I kind of feel bad. Maybe we should have stayed up with him!"

"Yeah, I saw him sleeping on the table." Siwon said.

Jaejoong sighed. "Hey, Kibum…" he said.

"Mm?" Kibum said.

"I've seen a few of these old detective movies that look like this…" Jaejoong began. "And doesn't it always turn out in the end that the dame is the one who did it in the end?"

Kibum only stood there.

"Never mind!" said Jaejoong with a sigh. "And uh…I kind of have another random question. Do you have a weapon?"

"A gun…" said Kibum, patting his pockets as if he had forgotten where he had left it, and then he pulled one out from inside his coat.

"I'm the only one who doesn't get a weapon!" Jaejoong pouted. "All I have is this dumb butter knife."

He pulled a small dagger out of a tiny sheath on his belt.

"I don't think that's a butter knife." Said Siwon.

"Well, not literally of course." Said Jaejoong. "Nothing's literal in this world!"

"I suppose that's true." Nodded Siwon.

Just then, Key walked in. "There's an all-percussion symphony playing in my head." He said. "The orchestra's going on a ten-city tour and I have season tickets with a front row seat."

"I hear you." Said Kibum with a look of despair.

Jaejoong and Siwon looked at each other skeptically, and this time they BOTH shrugged flamboyantly.

"By the way, does anyone know if Kyuhyun solved the case?" Key asked as he poured himself some coffee and held the cup.

Kibum picked up his own cup and held it.

Jaejoong noticed that Siwon was holding a cup of coffee too, and he didn't want to be left out so he poured himself a cup as well.

He couldn't help but notice the contrast of the intense outlines of the cup in comparison to his own normal outlines. Not to mention the fact that it was all black and white contrasted to his bright colors.

So they all stood around holding their coffee cups but not drinking any coffee.

"Hello?" said Key.

"What?" said everyone.

"I asked you all a question." Key reminded them.

They stared at him blankly.

"Do you know if Kyuhyun solved the case?" Key repeated.

"Oh." Said the others. "No."

At that exact moment, Kyuhyun entered with a piece of paper in his hand.

"I believe I have solved the case." He said.

"How convenient." Said Key.

"Let's wake up Kangin so you can give us the low down!" said Jaejoong.

"Very well." Kyuhyun said as he watched Jaejoong put down his coffee and dart back into the other room.

Kyuhyun stared at the coffee and then picked it up. Once again, everyone in the room was just hanging around holding coffee mugs.

Then Jaejoong and Kangin came back in, and Jaejoong demanded to have his coffee back, so Kyuhyun gave it back. And then he poured himself some coffee.

"I want some coffee too." Said Kangin.

"Then get some." Said Kyuhyun as he stood by the coffee machine with his cup.

Kangin poured himself some coffee and faced the others. He took a sip.

The others looked at him curiously.

"What are you doing?" Kibum said finally.

"What?" said Kangin as he took another sip.

"That." Kibum said. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Said Kangin, still confused.

"You're drinking your coffee." Said Key.

"I know." Said Kangin. "That's why I poured myself some."

The others looked at each other, and then slowly put their coffee on whatever surface was closest to them. Kangin observed this, and automatically assumed that there must be something wrong with the coffee so he put his down as well. But everyone just looked at him and called him a poser IN THEIR MINDS. Now Kangin was going to be forever labeled as a poser.

"Anyway," said Key. "Kyuhyun, didn't you say that you solved the case?"

"It's Big Mac, isn't it?" Kibum said.

"At first, I didn't think so." Said Kyuhyun. "But then I found a compelling piece of evidence that must have been swept over initially because clearly it points directly to Big Mac."

"Does Big Mac know that he has a hilarious gangster name?" Jaejoong wondered out loud. It was one of those questions that could have been answered, but everyone decided to interoperate it as rhetorical because no one felt like answering him.

"You don't have to explain it fully." Said Kangin to Kyuhyun since Kyuhyun looked like he was about to go into Explain Mode.

"Why?" said Kyuhyun.

"Because we believe you." Kangin said.

They all stood around and waited to be teleported to the next Universe. Kyuhyun even had the remote out and had his hand on the button to change the channel. However, nothing happened.

"What's going on?" said Siwon. "We solved the case, didn't we? Shouldn't we go to the next Universe?"

"Maybe we have to do more than just figure out who the culprit is." Said Key. "Perhaps we must actually make sure justice is served to the low life scum of this town."

"Then let's report him to the proper authorities and then we can get out of here!" Jaejoong said cheerfully.

"WE are the proper authorities." Key said, pointing to himself and Kibum.

"It's up to us to take care of this case." Said Kibum.

"After justice is served, I suppose we will go to the next Universe." Kyuhyun concluded. "Hopefully."

"So we're going to have to find this guy." Said Kangin.

"Where can we find this Big Mac?" Siwon asked Kibum.

"You mean BESIDES McDonalds?" Jaejoong said, and that one was obviously a rhetorical question.

"He works out of a small warehouse by the docks." Said Kibum.

"So I guess our next stop is that small warehouse by the docks." Siwon said.

Everyone stood up like they were ready to leave, but Kibum raised his hand to signal them all to stop.

"Hang on." He said. "You four will draw too much attention to yourselves if you go out like that."

"It's true." Said Key. "Not only are you dressed in strange clothes, but you're in color, and that will likely catch the eye of Big Mac and all his flunkies."

"We can't change the fact that we're in color and you guys aren't." said Kangin.

"But we can try to hide it." Key said as he flung open the closet doors to reveal numerous gray trench coats lined up on hangers, as well as several hats on the shelves above the coats.

After a quick wardrobe change, they were ready to go. And even though it made Siwon sad, everyone advised against bringing his horse. They figured that would bring a LOT of unwanted attention to them. And in a town like this, any kind of attention is unwanted.

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNN.

*Thanks for the comments, and thanks to you new subscribers! :) I hope you enjoy the rest of mah story. ^_^