Oh, his love is warm!
It’s a pity he isn’t given
a chance to show that love.
You will see rainbows
in those once blue eyes
filled with love and warmth.
The weather changed drastically. It was now windy and stormy. The skies were now covered in a blanket of dark clouds, and there were storms every now and then. This made me afraid and worried that Baekhyun will be swept away and I would be left all alone.
“Baek,” I call him as we ate our breakfast, “Can you not go today? The weather’s terrible. The boat might capsize and please tell Grandpa not to go as well.”
He said nothing for awhile but looked outside as though trying to prove me wrong, but after witnessing the dark angry clouds, he sighed out loud.
“Okay. I guess we could take a break for today.” He chewed his food slowly as he put on his thinking expression, “What should we do the whole day then?”
I did not know why, but I liked the fact that he used ‘we’.
“I don’t know...” I swallowed my food, “Maybe we could stay in the whole day and play games.”
“How old are you? Nine?”
“It won’t be that bad. Or maybe we could just… talk? You know, get to know each other.” I mumbled the last few words, unsure of what his reaction would be.
“Whatever,” he muttered and shrugged. I took that as a sign that we might have a nice, long conversation.
The rain began. It came down pouring as though someone was angry that we had weeks filled with the warm, yellow sun.
After breakfast, we went outside and watched the sea toss itself violently from the porch for some time before retreating into the kitchen again. The tin roof felt as though it might come down from all the noise.
We sat down on those cute little wooden seats next to the fire which kind of resembled a camp-fire.
I turned to look at Baekhyun, who was staring at the fire intently. He was still sensitive about things, but he was at least trying, starting to talk to people other than me, smiling more and laughing a little.
The silence between us was uneasy, though, because we were waiting for someone to speak up first. I was reluctant that he would mind my questions, meanwhile maybe he was not sure how to start up a conversation since it was always me.
“When’s your birthday?” I blurted out, my uneasiness hidden by a simple action of adjusting a log.
“Somewhere in November,” he replied quickly and shakes his head, “I don’t know the date.”
“Ah… A winter baby, huh? I’m a summer child,” I said, grinning up to him. The silence was broken, and we finally got comfortable, lapsing back into our previous comfort around one another.
“Figures,” he mumbled, making me chuckle a little.
“I personally think it’s great to be born in winter but even better in summer when you can have a pool party or ice cream cakes and water fights. The possibilities are endless. In my last year of high school, we went to a beach resort and had lots of fun.”
He nods and thinks a little.
“What was high-school like?”
He asked, and his voice held hidden curiosity.
“It was alright. I had lots of friends, and it was fun," I gave him a small smile, “Did you study till high-school?”
“No. I was in rehabilitation for a crime I did not commit.”
“Oh…” He did not appear to be bothered by that like I was. The question of ‘what happened?’ was at the tip of my tongue, but I held it back.
High school was always a big part of anyone’s life whether it was good or bad. It was fun for me, and I had just only graduated and started college. I just couldn’t picture my life without those moments.
“It sounds like fun though,” he smiles, and it seemed like he was trying to mask his sadness. He had missed out on life, and who wouldn’t be sad to know that they had missed out so much… on life?
“Yeah…” I said uneasily.
“So what’s it like to be normal?” He asked again, emphasizing normal. It took me some time before I answered him. What exactly was it like to be normal?
“It’s great, I suppose. You can walk around without being worried about anything major. But then in this world no one seems to be really free anymore… Everyone is tied down by their responsibilities and work that people no longer have any time to just sit and look around and actually enjoy being free. Over here, there are less people, and that makes me even more liberated because I am not exposed to judgmental stares like I get in the cities.”
Baekhyun did not hide his curiosity while I explained, and it made me more aware of his situation than anything else.
He nodded again. I felt cheered on by the fact that he was curious, and he was asking questions.
“You should know how they judge you, even outside the courtrooms, even after you step out of those rooms after being mercilessly judged.” His gaze had lowered. My heart only clenched harder. “I don’t even remember much about life outside those prison walls because I was only sent on missions that happened at night. The only normal thing I've experienced-" he pauses and looks at me, "was that some people smile at you, and sometimes random strangers talk to you. I think that was the most normal thing that has happened to me."
“It was hard, inside those walls and behind those bars. Sometimes... no, most of the time I think what it must be like to be born different.”
He paused and dropped his stare to his hands. His voice was low, and I had to strain my ears to listen because of the rain. Though, the rain did not mask the loneliness in his voice nor his pain.
“Oh…” That was all that came out. Anything else other than that seemed too forced and unnecessary.
“Are ice creams nice?” he asked suddenly. My eyes widen at the curious choice of question, but I turned to look at him and almost melted. He was looking at me with childlike curiosity, and my heart began to beat rather harshly inside my rib cage. Freaking chemical reactions. “I’ve never had any,” he added that with a whisper. I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't paying full attention.
Right now, if we were anywhere but here, I would have dragged him to the nearest ice cream shop and fed this puppy all the ice cream in the world.
“Oh! Ice-cream… Yeah…” I stuttered because I realized that I was simply staring at him rather than answering his question. “They’re really good. They’re soft and creamy and the fact that they are served cold is the best thing ever. And there are lots of flavors you can choose. Personally, I love vanilla. I think you'll like it, too. Someday, when we get out of here, let’s buy lots and binge eat.”
I turned to look at Baekhyun with a hopeful look, but he did not reply or acknowledged me. He simply looked away as though I had told him something quite preposterous.
This silence was now tense, mostly because I was lost. Did I say something out of line, or did I trigger something?
“Um… Haha…” I began again with my awkwardness. “This island’s pretty chill right? You… like it?”
I thought he wouldn’t talk to me anymore, but he nodded his head although he refused to look at me.
“I like it a lot.” His tone was clipped, and he sounded tired but angry also. He faced the fire that danced merrily in front of us. The fire-light did its justice in highlighting his face. He was ridiculously good looking. It’s such a shame that he was holed up in a prison cell rather than casted in a drama.
“If given the opportunity…” he suddenly went on, his eyes finally holding mine with an expression akin to pain, “would you ever return?”
At first, I did not understand why he was asking me this but then it hit me. He’s not planning on leaving this island anymore but rather he wished for me to. No wonder he looked miffed when I said that we shall have ice-cream t