Hi! To oiofoxynomadoio and andyelleeh, thank you so much for upvoting guys! Here's freaking hot Donghae for you~~~ Kekekeke. 

Impossible. Grim silence enveloped the car for what felt like an eternity of driving back to the Lair. Lisa. Donghae’s head couldn’t wrap around the scenes that just happened an hour ago. She’s not dead. They’re not dead. He kept on telling to himself.

Something tells him that he should’ve done something, but what could he do?

He was a flightless bird caught between a bloody war.

The door beside him opened, not realizing he was in front of the mansion already. Yuri opened it for him. “You should rest in your room.” She told him when the man did not move an inch from the car.

Donghae just looked at her, eyes full of everything. Shock. Hope. Grief. Fear. “Yuri.” A word finally came out his dry mouth. “T-the others . . . Lisa . . .”

“Let’s go.” Yuri felt a tug inside as she watched him in that state. She gently took his right hand and pulled him out the car.

Donghae followed her out, eyes not leaving her. “The others-”

“Lideo!”

He felt something warm covered his upper body. A warm blanket was wrapped to him as he was ushered to go inside the mansion. He was about to look at the kind person, but someone’s voice in front called his attention.

“Leader!” It was Daesung. He was running towards him, and when he met Donghae by the stairs, Daesung checked their leader for any cuts or bruises. “You okay?”

He couldn’t reply.

Kiko stood beside Daesung. “Your grandfather is already resting in his room.” She told him.

He has questions. He wanted to scream. He wanted to get out of there. He had been in this nightmare for too long, everything felt so real, so damn painful.

“All the blackbloods are glad that you returned safe, lideo.” A voice comforted the trepidation in him.  He looked to that person on his right and felt his whole body gone numb. The blanket around him fell to his feet. The wind blew against his skin, clawing against his flesh. The night was sure freezing.

She was Sky’s mother.

She was the wife of the man who just took the bullet for him a while ago.

The man he watched dying after saving him.

The middle-aged woman took a glance of the pool of blood on Donghae’s chest. The blood dried up over his white sleeves under that dusty coat. Her lips curved into that smile an angel would give to her god. “Thank god, this isn’t your blood.”

At that, his knees gave in, Donghae fell in front of the blackbloods around. Yuri, Daesung and Kiko were shocked as he slumped on the ground. His eyes remained wide open on the ground as a question rammed his mind. Whose blood is it, Donghae? He couldn’t bring himself to look at the woman. He remembered how her husband pushed him down, covered him until his very last breath. Every drop of blood from the man’s mouth coated his chest and sanity for something he will remember as long as he lives.

Donghae felt something little and cold touched his left cheek. He looked up and regretted doing so. He saw a pair of concerned innocent eyes of a child. “Lideo.” Sky asked him gently. “Are you okay?”

His mouth opened to breathe . . . to scream . . . but he didn’t. Instead, Donghae was silenced with this brutal fate the world has made him forcefully swallowed; a tear finally escaped his left eye that cursed night.

After Daesung brought him to his room, Donghae did not even turn the lights on. He just walked to his bed as the images of death and endless gunshots haunt him wide-awake. He sat at the edge of his bed as Seven’s face loomed over him, and that red little light just pierced on the man’s neck out of nowhere. Stop. Donghae fell and sat on the glamorous carpeted floor, he shut his eyes tightly to stop them from coming, his hands over his ears to block the voices of death.

In just one night, he witnessed so many deaths taken by their enemies, by their people too. Half of the brave blackbloods who he only saw this morning were already lifeless bodies came night. Please stop. An image of the cheerful Lalisa teaching him patiently while holding books and clapping whenever he gets to answer correctly flashed through his mind. Tears finally flowed down his cheeks despite not opening his eyes for a bit in fear of seeing the images come into life. Again.

“Stop it.” Donghae begged, as he remembered too well how two ruthless men stood in front of Lalisa and shot a bullet to her head. His cries of despair were getting louder, cold and shaking hands fell over his neck, strangling himself on his own. “Please.”

Thank god, this isn’t your blood.

“God. Make it stop.” His feet kept kicking the floor. He could feel a different kind of pain twisting and stabbing him in all places. Donghae was shaking his head, tears falling uncontrollably to his pants.

Lideo. Are you okay?

They kept on repeating inside him like a broken record. Like an eerie melody that plays in his childhood nightmares. Donghae’s eyes opened, fists curling into a ball. He pushed himself up to kneel and with his trembling hands, he managed to take his black suit off. He threw it across as his hands began to reach for the buttons of the blood-tainted white long sleeves. Ever since he got there, it was simply too hard to breathe. His hands ripped all the buttons, as he freed himself and threw to the darkest corner of the room.

Donghae’s head was bowed so low as he stared blankly at his heaving bare chest. His own wet tears fell on the red faint marks of blood that dried on his own skin. His right hand went to wipe it away, in hopes that everything would be okay.

It didn’t.

The marks of blood were still there. He could feel the dried blood in his chest crept into his own veins.

Our sins are your sins.

Dara had once said to him.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” A guttural scream left his mouth, as Donghae buried his face to the floor while kneeling. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Like a howl of a wolf, signaling an omen humans fear.

Dara leaned behind the door in his balcony quietly. Letting him. Letting his very strangled sound of grief linger in the air. It made her wonder if the souls of dead blackbloods could find peace in it. Dara listened silently to his forsaken pleas, his gut-wrenching screams, and his chilling cries. Her head looked up the sky and saw nothing but darkness. No looking back.

His tears and saliva wetted the carpet as the Lost Anima’s leader wailed his heart out, realizing how he will see death after death after death while living in this world.

Donghae did not need to die to see hell.

He is already living in it.

Two days had passed, and Donghae hasn’t left his room. Most of the time, he just lay on his bed all day and night, staring at nothingness. Trays of food were delivered every now and then, and he would just take a maximum of three bites and go back to his bed. There were moments when he wondered if Dara or Daesung would barge in his door for another training, but they didn’t. He guessed they were mourning too.

Somehow the silence in his room that night was unbearable. It was true he wanted to be alone, but