Byun Baekhyun, day thirty two 12:22

I’m still not sure why they’re keeping me in the infirmary. I’m fine, my energy is up and my mental health has improved a whole lot. At least I’m still not seeing Master Kim everytime I close my eyes. That's mostly thanks to Junmyeon. He’s very level-headed. He’s been awake when my nightmares pull me back to consciousness and willing to talk while I calm down. I’ve learned a lot from him, both about him and the world in general. I used to think that they were keeping me here for him but maybe they’re keeping both of us here for each other.
As it turns out, Junmyeon almost drowned himself. It doesn't completely explain everything and I’m sure there's more to the story but Junmyeon isn’t saying anything and I don't want to put any pressure on him.
But still, it's nice to have someone to talk to every day. I’m almost certain that if they hadn't brought him here my mental health would still be in rapid descent, even if I would still meet people every now and then. Meeting Minseok and Yixing was effective but it’s not the same as having Junmyeon here, ready to listen and reply whenever.
We’re not talking all the time but it's more than a bit reassuring to just have him… here. I wasn't used to it at first, I was afraid that any small noise I made might anger him since the first few days he mostly slept, but it's not that bad.
The worst part, however, is that he's always thirsty. He needs his glass of water to be consistently full. It's like he’s afraid of dehydration and wants to combat it with too much hydration. But to each his own, I guess.
“Hey, Baekhyun?” Junmyeon's voice sounded across the room from where he sat in his bed. I looked up to see him staring at me expectantly.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you here?” He asked. I let a dumbfounded expression spread over my face at the question. He seemed to realize the mistake in his wording as he backtracked quickly and explained that he meant what was I doing in the infirmary. “You look perfectly fine to me.” I thought about the question, retracing back to the day I first arrived here.
“I out.” Came the short response. His face was still curios but his eyes shone with understanding.
“Guess it's not exactly something you want to be advertising, right?” A small smile played on his lips as he focused his gaze on his intertwined fingers. I gave myself a few seconds to think about his statement before replying. It wasn’t that I didn't want to talk about it but rather that I had no reason to. He was the only one I talked to and before now, he hadn't asked me about it. “It’s alright, I get it.” He looked up at me again and gave me a smile I'm sure was meant to be comforting. It was then that I realized I had been thinking for too long so I quickly scrambled to explain.
“No, I--”
“Baekhyun,” he said with a laugh, “I told you it’s alright. If you don’t want to talk about it then you don't want to talk about it.” Blast him and his understanding even when he doesn't know what he's understanding. Instead of trying to explain, I nodded and let the small conversation die.
Unlike with Yixing and Minseok, it didn't take a few minutes for one of us to start speaking again. He changed the subject to something else within seconds.
“Do you ever wonder how we got here?” His voice was quiet but his eyes were eager as he placed them on me again.
“All the time.” I answered honestly.
“Do you think we'll get to go back home one day?” His question was hopeful and I had to admit that I shared his hope but realistically speaking, I didn't think it was possible.
“I guess we'll just have to wait and see.” I tried to produce an encouraging smile but I knew something betrayed me when he let himself fall back onto his pillows.
“I want to go back home.” He mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
“Do you know what's waiting for you? Back home, I mean?” I asked cautiously.
“No,” he answered, “but it can't be worse than this, right?” I could almost hear the smile as it tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“I miss the sun.” I heard myself saying as I looked at the curtained window. The light coming through it didn't look like the sun.
“I miss the ocean.” Junmyeon replied after a few seconds of silence.
“I miss plants.” I said, my mind wandering to memories of forests with sunlight trickling through the high branches that I couldn't quite place.
“I miss colors.” Junmyeon commented and the truth of it hit me harder than it should. I barely managed to get an audible reply out through the tightening in my chest.
“Yeah.” I choked out. We fell into a silence that neither one of us felt any need to break until Junmyeon, perceptive as always, raised another question.
“What’s with the lamp?” I looked up as his head gestured to the lamp sitting on the table.
“Oh, that. I’m supposed to turn it on.” I answered with a shrug. Something seemed about that statement seemed to interest Junmyeon as he shot upright in his bed.
“Really?” He asked, the first sense of excitement I’d ever seen spreading across his face. “Can you show me?” I shook my head in reply and his face faltered slightly. A soft ‘oh’ escaped his downturning lips.
“It’s basic compared to the things I’ve actually done but something doesn’t seem to… click, when it comes to that lamp.” I explained and Junmyeon’s features lit up with curiosity once more.
“What have you done?” He asked, beckoning me to sit on the chair next to his bed. I did so and was met with an expectant look in his normally calm eyes. I cleared my throat before counting off.
“Well, sixteen days ago I made lots of tiny, floating light particles appear and--” I paused to count on my fingers “--fifteen days ago I made myself invisible.” Junmyeon’s look shifted from curios to confused.
“And you can’t turn on a lamp?” He asked incredulously. I shrugged again, not knowing how I did it myself. Junmyeon’s eyes darted from here to there, not specifically looking at the spot they were pointing at, as he was lost in thought for a few seconds. “So, you control… light?” He seemed unsure of his question, I was unsure about my answer.
“Certainly looks like it.” Once again, a silence slipped over our conversation only this time it was more purposeful. As he opened his mouth to speak again, he was cut off by three guards entering the room. Both of us were frozen in shock as two took their places by my sides and the third stood by Junmyeon’s bed.
“Please return back to your room, Mr. Byun.” Haneul’s voice said, the first time I’d heard it in a week.
When I made no attempt to move, the guards’ hands locked around my upper arms. They pulled me up from the chair I had made myself comfortable in and gripped just a little too tight making me let out a wince and contorted my face into a grimace. I heard Junmyeon call out my name in worry before a muffled thud and a small grunt could be heard from his general direction.
As they started half-walking, half-dragging me out of the room, I did my best to catch one last look of Junmyeon and communicate that we would be okay and that we’d meet again. His eyes met mine and I let out a small smile to reassure him. It didn’t seem to have any effect.
The last thing I saw before the doors closed behind me was Junmyeon mouthing a ‘stay safe’.