& my hopes, they are high - i must keep them small

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“Do you want anything to drink?” Namjoon asked as Hoseok was sitting down on his couch. Hoseok looked over at him, noticing the way Namjoon was still waiting for an answer after several seconds of silence.

“No, thanks.” Hoseok answered, shaking his head slightly. Namjoon just nodded, smiling slightly before he left into the kitchen. Hoseok let out a quite sigh as he felt a little awkward. It was one of those days all of them would meet up and go out together, nothing special. However, what was special about those days was that Hoseok would always arrive about an hour earlier at Namjoon’s place than all the others would. Namjoon never complained and soon it had become some kind of habit to them. Nowadays, Namjoon would even text him throughout the day, asking if he would come earlier than the other again, to which Hoseok would reply with a simply: ‘of course, Joonie.’

On one hand it was weird, yet at the other it wasn’t. Well, what those evenings did to Hoseok’s heart and state of mind was a whole different story. Namjoon’s behavior would always confuse him so much throughout the process of the night. Before the others would show up, the both of them would talk about everything, literally. The first few minutes were always awkward, both of them not knowing how to act around each other, but that would soon pass by and soon they would start feeling really comfortable around each other. Sometimes, Hoseok found himself believing that they had never broken up. He and Namjoon could talk about everything and sometimes Namjoon even let out some details about how he was actually feeling due to their breakup. It was short and if Hoseok wouldn’t listen so closely to the other’s words he may wouldn’t even notice it. One of the very few things, in those moments, that reminded him of the fact that they were in fact broken up was the distance between them. Hoseok loved to remember those moments they had been sitting on that same couch, cuddled up together, talking about everything. Yet, there they were, sitting on opposite sides of the couch as if the other one was poisonous.

Sometimes, Hoseok managed to get himself to believe that Namjoon was just sitting that far away from him so they wouldn’t do anything ‘stupid’, like spontaneously kiss or something since there were still feelings. At least on Hoseok’s side and he was pretty positive they’d never leave him. Well, sometimes he even though so of Namjoon since the younger would sometimes look at him so intensely, yet at the same time lost and Hoseok just knew he was lost in memories. Yes, they may were broken up, but that didn’t mean that Hoseok wouldn’t be able to read him anymore.

Another thing that often made him believe they still were together was Namjoon’s caring nature towards him. The younger would constantly ask him if he needed anything, or if he felt cold or simply if he was fine. Hoseok adored that and the little smile Namjoon would gift him each time was like heaven to Hoseok. They even managed