十二
foolsonly fools fall for you
ㅡ
Hoseok left Namjoon’s bedroom, looking for the rest of his clothes. He couldn’t just leave without getting fully dressed. It hadn’t been warm outside the day before and he was pretty positive this day wasn’t going to be a warm one either. It also would be terribly embarrassing, and that’s something he wouldn’t be able to deal with at the moment.
Sobs still made their way past his lips and the tears just wouldn’t stop running down his cheeks. The knowledge of Namjoon regretting their night together hurt him more than he would like to admit. Of course, it hadn’t been the best idea, but was it really wrong? They loved each other. Hoseok had hurt him, and he knew the younger was right. How could he forgive him? Hoseok didn’t know, but he would try to change the younger’s mind, because he needed him like the air to breathe.
He made his way through the living room, looking for his trousers, but he couldn’t find it as his vision was blurred by the many tears that left his eyes. He tried to wipe them away but to no effort. There were always new ones and they seemed to never end. Hoseok slowly grew desperate, he suddenly felt suffocated again and he was in need of some fresh air. He was staring to panic. He tried to swallow it back down, not wanting to let Namjoon know about his own weak set of mind, but he failed. He felt his body starting to shake again and his legs started to give in. He fell onto his knees, sobbing again as he just wanted to vanish into thin air. Dark thoughts clouded his mind again and the voices became louder again. Suddenly they were right again. Suddenly he was sure again that leaving Namjoon was the best thing to ever happen to the younger. Why should he fight for their love? Why? There was no point in doing so. There was too much pain in Namjoon’s eyes, and he regretted being with Hoseok. He regretted it, even called it a ‘mistake’. Oh, how badly Hoseok wanted to give back the time Namjoon had had to waste by Hoseok staying with him.
Hoseok couldn’t stand it any longer, he couldn’t bear with it any longer. The thoughts consumed him and he had no idea why he had even tried to get back on track with Namjoon. It was pointless. The younger probably hated him but was simply too nice to make him leave. Namjoon had always been so damn nice, and all Hoseok ever did was taking all of his time by being a damn burden. He sobbed into his hands as he fell against the couch he had been sitting on with Namjoon the previous evening. He felt so bad remembering it, because he had made Namjoon do something that he obviously didn’t want.
“Hoseok!” he heard his name being called somewhere in the distant, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t even. But then there was warmth surrounding him and it was suffocating him, yet at the same time soothing. He
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