Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death. -Coco Chanel

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Sorry, i was going to post this sooner, but I got distracted and forgot. OTL

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Kyouchull POV:

My mother always looked young -younger than all my friends’ mothers, at any rate- for her age. Her short brown hair would fall over her shining hazel eyes when she smiled. Those eyes always looked deep within me. They were the kind of eyes that saw beauty and hope in anything. Her eyes were what I remembered most about that particular day.

The day that I killed her.

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{flashback}

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It’s my nineteenth birthday.

The air is thick with falling ash, black-and-grey snow. As the sun slowly sinks, the sky turns as orange as the fire.  He’s just a shadow but he’s here somewhere, hiding in the darkness, hiding in the snow. Waiting for the last light to disappear.

A voice is rising somewhere to the left of me. “Kyou!!! Kyouchull!!!” It’s Umma. Is she still inside the house? I get to my feet and run toward it, ignoring the fire all around and inside.

“UMMA!!!Yeun!!! Jae!! UMMA!!!!!!!!” I was screaming with everything I had for my mother and my two baby siblings. I heard the wails of my sister, Yeun, and I kept pushing myself toward her. “JAE!!! UMMA!!!” I kept screaming as I made my way along the floor. Yeun was suddenly silent.

“She’s dead, just like the rest of your family.” The voice is horrible, but not in the evil way. It’s amused…almost gleeful. I force myself to turn, my cousin coming into view. Wha-!?

“Eui-tae?” His body is drenched in blood, as if he'd gone for a swim in it. His red plaid shirt clinging onto his figure darkly, his black hair disheveled and dangerous. The black eyes darting around the room and back to me like a demon’s. He is walking carefully toward me, his head turning in a predatory gesture. His fangs clearly visible as he smiles.

Then he arches his back in a sort-of crouch and leaps at me, his glasses falling off his face as he jumps.

I don’t know how long I was unconscious, I just know it felt like forever and my body ached everywhere, yet, I woke feeling amazing. After opening my eyes I carefully sat up, looking around me. Is he gone?

Then the smell hits me.

It’s blood…but blood never smelled so good before. It never smelled so delicious. I never felt so hungry in my life.

“Kyou?” My mother voice is croaking from somewhere to my right. She’s bleeding, I can smell it. “Kyou?”

My mind screams at me. Don’t! Please don’t. You can’t! No! But my body decides it’s about time I ignore it…so I jump up and hurl myself at her, sinking my fangs into her neck as quickly as I can. It’s almost beautiful, but she’s struggling as I try to hold her still. I tighten my grip on her neck, but she keeps on struggling. She just keeps on.

So I flick my wrist and there’s an awful snap.

She’s dead.

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{end of flashback}

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Her eyes. Always so full of light and love for me… I remember them the most. How the look of terror and disgust felt as I jumped at her and, then, the cold and glazed-over dead look on them when I was finished.

Yes, I remember.

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 Key POV:

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” I asked Kyou quietly as we walked through the forest, pulling him out of whatever memory he’d been thinking of.

“The girl?” He clarified. I nodded. “We dropped at the hospital, there’s nothing more we can do…I’m sure they’ll be able to help her.” I caught a look of guilt in his eyes as he tilted his head down, the top layer of blonde hair falling carelessly over the black underneath it, like snow covering up a shadow, like the moon outshining the night. He stuck his hands in his pocket after pulling at the collar of his black jacket. He looked up at the starry sky above. The rain clouds from before had disappeared leaving little evidence that they were ever there.

He smiled and lifted his hands up “Wah!! 예쁘다!!”(-you’re pretty)

I laughed at him, secretly grateful for times like this when his kid-like innocence came out. It was a far better thing to see than his emotionless expressions or his self-loathing attitude. I knew him for too long to let him get away with it, though. Of course the girl had reminded him of his dead baby sister…his brother too. Of course he would try to cover up by pretending she didn’t matter to him, that he wasn’t more worried than I was…but I knew him too well. I knew his secrets and his fears. He could hide from me just as much as I could hide from him, and he knew me too well for me to even try to hide.

“Let’s find somewhere to rest.” I could smell some kind of cave nearby, where the sun couldn’t get to us.

“Just a while longer.” He assured me as he began to spin around, playing with the leaves.

He had been innocent once,

Just a child playing on the floor of the devil’s lair.

He wasn’t innocent now.