Neverending Nervousness

Royal Matters.

The next handful of weeks seemed to flash by in the blink of an eye. Wonwoo and Jisoo kept taking daily walks to the garden, getting themselves lost in the maze, stealing kisses, and dancing into the moonlight, trying to compensate for the amount of stress that'd been lingering on them having to attend more and more meetings with bright-eyed women who continually proved that there was no love for him in their hearts. Even if there was something in their hollow chests, something that would show the prince that they at least understood the logistics of the kingdom, it didn't matter anymore. Jisoo had everything he wanted, and he would sit there and mow through hours of interviews with the same disdained gaze until his father would give up on the idea of him getting married.

 

'Maybe father would understand if he knew how much I love Wonwoo.' The thought was fleeting, and the prince was pulled out of his own ridiculous thought by a soft hand on his cheek, giving a weak smile as he looked back into the gorgeous pair of espresso colored eyes staring at him. Wonwoo's mouth fell in a slight frown, knowing all too well that the prince's mind was elsewhere, focused on something hard enough to get himself into a funk.

 

He carried on with his thoughts, stepping them inch by inch through the massive garden maze, not even bothering to look away from his feet. After the last few weeks of using the maze as a hiding spot, the two had learned the geography of the riddle well, knowing each turn and every hidden artifact tucked into the corners. It was almost lifeless, the way his feet shuffled along, not even bother to raise properly before the next step. Jisoo's stride was only matched by the way his shoulders hung low, rounded, unconfident in every account. With a quickened pace, Wonwoo caught the prince's wrist in his hand, barely earning a full glance from the usually chipper elder.

 

"Are you okay?" The question was simple, and almost pointless, with the amount of pride the prince had about keeping himself conducted to a royal standard, it wasn't often that he spoke his mind, but since they'd begun secretly seeing each other Wonwoo had noticed slight changes in the way that he spoke, and the way that he acted when they were alone together. It was nice, seeing a more personal side of him, though it was still odd in the grand scheme of it all. Kissing behind closed doors, and having to attend meetings together, it was a harsh mixture, but the two were already conscious of the way to conduct themselves in the presence of others, it was nothing new. It was the private side of their lives that was new.

 

"Not really, no. But I can't seem to figure out the solution to our little issue here." Jisoo sighed, and let his head rest in the palm of Wonwoo's hand, his expression speaking novels about what was on his mind. The prince's hand was gentle, finding a spot to rest on the pauper's shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.

 

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Wonwoo's tone was soft, quiet and sweet, conveying just how hard he wanted to pull the prince out of his murky thoughts. The prince only shook his head, and laughed, leaning in and pressing his lips against Wonwoo's, mustering the ability to smile into the kiss, letting his shoulders fall at rest as he mellowed out. It was nearly impossible for the prince to worry about anything when he was with Wonwoo, aside from being caught like this, that is. It wasn't much of a worry when they were huddled into the deepest corners of the maze like this, but there was always some prickle to the hairs on his neck that made each stolen smooch feel almost wrong. The air between the two had gone all but stiff as Wonwoo pulled away from the kiss, eyebrows lifted with a worried expression.

 

"There isn't much helping me at this point, but if you feel comfortable enough doing so, could you stay the night in my room?" The request came across much more forward, and bold than intended, the poor prince just couldn't stand another night alone, waking up from stress nightmares. Spending the moments he was plagued by being awake in his windowsill, staring up at the moon, praying that something higher had some answers to all of the questions he had. But each night he was met with disappointment, and so he'd just lay in bed, and pull his covers over his head, closing his eyes until he'd drift back to sleep.

 

"I suppose I could, but are you sure? I might wake you up in the middle of the night, or accidentally kick you." The servant's face was unsure, apprehensive about the possibility of sharing a bed, obviously reeling in thought of all of the things that could go wrong if they ended up sharing a room for the night, only to be met by a quiet snicker out of Jisoo.

 

"I would much rather have you accidentally kick me awake, than me just be awake for no apparent reason." Though the prince's lack of sleep had been obvious from the dark circles under his eyes, it'd been a fact that had been vehemently denied time and time again at the breakfast table, though, if sharing a room kept the prince from losing any more sleep than possible, then Wonwoo was willing to do it. Not that it was something that was particularly hard to stomach, it would just be odd, like all new experiences it would take time to get used to. In the same way he'd had to normalize himself to the warm feeling in his gut that came from Jisoo's smiles, and kisses, this was just another one of those hurdles to jump over.

 

As the last fleeting moments of sunlight siphoned themselves away, the moon came up in the sky, giving the two the bittersweet reminder that they couldn't just stand outside like this forever. The prince gave a quiet sigh, scratching his head as he looked around the well-tended shrubbery that surrounded them, trying to look for any reason that they should stay out here, where it was easier to be together.

 

"Will you need pajamas tonight? I don't think it'll be easy to sneak from your room to mine with your clothes…" The words weren't the ones Jisoo wanted to say, to beg to stay in the bushes where it was simple enough to be hidden, even though he knew it probably wouldn't raise any eyebrows if Wonwoo spent a night in his room, it was a stress enough to think about trying to pull it off with how many maids and butlers kept count of where everything, and everyone was, counting each article of clothing, and head that passed through their work area. Especially because Wonwoo slept in the worker's wing, which meant every eye would be on him, the only seer in the entire castle. It would be more than obvious if he left the wing, but if he was never seen there, it would be easier to cover their tracks.

 

The servant nodded curtly, and laced his fingers in with the prince's as they started their route out of the maze, looping and twisting around corners until they were spat out in front of a gardener, quickly retracting their hands to bury them in their pockets. The gardener only gave a quiet laugh, readjusting the armful of flowers in her hands so rub her eyes, blinking at the two as they inched away.

 

"Hey!" The tiny, homely woman waved them over, her face and hands covered in dirt upon closer inspection. "You two were holding hands."

 

Every muscle in both their bodies stiffened up as they walked closer to the gardener, eyes wide like deer caught in a set of headlights. Each step was rigid, and they weren't sure whether this would be a tongue lashing, or a report straight to the king. Jisoo held his hand out, and opened his mouth to speak, to get silenced by the woman with an armful of colorful blossoms.

 

"Listen, it isn't my business what you do in your free time, sir. I couldn't care less who you love or don't love, so long as you're happy, but be warned, many people who work under your father are just looking for a reason to report you for any little misconduct, or action that would be deemed less than appropriate. Don't let other people see this." The words hurt, they burned like a knife to the gut, stinging Jisoo deeper than he thought would be possible. The woman reached a hand out, only to be waved off by Wonwoo, not wanting to get his clean outfit dirtied by muddy hands. She nodded, retracting her hand, and frowned, her eyes giving the two the hint that she was sincere.

 

"I'm happy that you're happy, but there are many people here that only want your title. Though your father would never allow it by mere drive, if he was given a reason to see you unfit to be king, the workers here would become the second option since your sister is too young to marry." She pursed her lips into a tight line, and let out a deep breath, shaking her head. "I am sure, you two already know this though. If you didn't, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but just make sure that you keep your tracks covered." The short woman offered a smile, before she turned her head, and went on about her way with her flowers, turning around only to wave the two boys goodbye, with a wide grin.

 

A grin that offered absolutely zero comfort. Jisoo groaned, and stormed back towards the castle. His feet moved quick, thundering as they stomped on the ground beneath them. The news he'd just been thrown felt like more of a slap in the face than any amount of marriage meetings he'd be put through to appease his father. Jisoo was murmuring curses to himself as he pouted through the halls and stairways of the castle, rudely bumping into numerous workers, not even caring enough to apologize this time around because he didn't know if the servants he'd bumped into were the ones gunning for his throne or not. He couldn’t even control the force behind his arms as he burst into his bedroom, a bit jarred by the loud noise that came from the handle of the door getting stuck in the wall, knocking the photo of him and his mother to the floor. Defeated the prince laid on his belly, folding his arms around his head, not even caring who were to look in and see him in the weepy state he'd taken.

 

Hot tears of frustration poured down his face for a few moments before Wonwoo managed to catch up, huffing quietly as he fought to dig the doorknob out of the wall, shutting the door to the room so that no one could bother listening in to their conversations. The servant took a seat on the bed, and crossed his legs, combing carefully through the prince's hair with his fingers, prompting the prince to wiggle just enough so that his head was in Wonwoo's lap.

 

"I can't believe people would be selfish enough to work here when they just want my job." The words were quiet, broken, and full of anguish. It was a hurtful thought, and it was even harder to try to decipher who would've just been playing along at caring at this point.

 

"It must be hard to hear, but that is just how some people are in this world. Some people are vile, and only care about their own happiness. Some people would rather wait to steal someone else's opportunity at happiness rather than work for their own." Wonwoo's voice was soft, his deep voice rumbling softly through the prince who'd swatted his hand away in the sake of making a place for himself on the seer's lap, legs curled around his back. The gesture earned a soft chuckle as Wonwoo's hands ran themselves carefully over the grooves of Jisoo's spine, trying to provide some sort of comfort for the wet eyes that had hidden themselves in the crook of his neck.

 

"I would be fine not being king, honestly. As long as I had you, but if my father finds out about this, it's likely that he'll find a way to ensure we never see each other again." The notion had the prince tightening his grip on the love in his arms, clinging as if it were for dear life.

 

"I wouldn't want you to give up the throne for my sake, you'll come across many other people in your life that you have the potential of loving just as you love me, I am one man, I am not worth an entire kingdom." Wonwoo spoke slowly, trying to figure out the best phrasing for what was plaguing his heart. Jisoo's arms tightened like a vice grip as he pulled his tear stained face free of the crook of the servant's shoulder, an angry expression painted across his face.

 

"I don't want the kingdom if I can't have you. If I was fine settling for someone, I would've already married one of the harlots my father's presented me." He spat with a forked tongue, letting his grip ease up so that he could cup the well-defined cheeks of the servant. "I love you, and want you more than anything else on this earth. Please, don't ever doubt that. If it takes relinquishing the crown for me to be with you openly, I'll do that. You are worth more than any kingdom to me."



A/N: This is later than I thought it would be, but I am back, and this chapter is roughly double what I usually write, because I'm trying to adapt a better writing stye. Please let me know what you think, and also drop a comment if you want , I totally set it up to be able to go one way or the other, so this is in your hands now! <3 Thank you for reading, as always, and thank you for the kind comments regarding my hiatus. I love you guys.

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Heresmera #1
Its okay take your time! And i hope you get through it♡
BriggsNailz
#2
Chapter 12: Please take care of yourself. Don't worry about the story. I still enjoy your content. I hope you get better! Take your time.
wonshua
#3
Chapter 12: Get well soon!! Take your time <3
wonshua
#4
Chapter 11: Omg =o
Heresmera #5
I got all happy when I saw this updated...THANK YOU!
wonshua
#6
Chapter 10: Sort of confused but maybe because I’m reading with a tired mind haha
Can’t wait for more
Heresmera #7
It annoys me that so many people read this and dont leave any sort of feedback. An upvote can mean a lot y'all :(
I look dumb just by my self :(
wonshua
#8
Chapter 9: Ohhh ;)
Heresmera #9
I miss your updates ;(((((
Heresmera #10
Chapter 8: Your writing is perfectly fine, and enjoyable in my opinion<33333
And YEs for the sm*t <.<