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Author's Note: I'm sorry for such a short chapter~~ :( And I'm sorry that this fic will be ending soon.... Thank you everyone for your supports. And thank you for over 100 subs~ See you guys soon~~ Stay healthy~ Don't make a life or take a life~

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    The glass doors to the balcony of Jaebum’s room were left open, allowing the cold winter air to casually slipped in like a determined visitor. The deep green curtains found their footsteps to dance with the wind as Youngjae sat leaning against the glass, a thick blanket wrapping securely around his frail body. He shivered from the harsh weather, yet he’s still sitting outside, enjoying the view that he couldn’t see. Saturday’s night of a winter break was awfully quieter than what had been expected by every excited teenager. Youngjae sighed as he snuggled tighter into the strong wrapping of the blanket that’s reeks nothing but Jaebum’s manly scent. 

    “What are you doing out here? It’s cold!” Jaebum approached his best friend, hands busied themselves with holding warm mugs of hot chocolate. He plopped himself down next to Youngjae and lightly shoved one of the mug towards the blind boy’s face. 

    “Thank you,” Youngjae said as his cold hands peeked out from the covers, accepting the hot drink that’s being give to him. Jaebum took a sip of his hot chocolate, savoring the sweetness of it as it mildly burns the tip of his tongue; he hissed softly. The blind boy next to him chuckled. “Careful,” Youngjae said. 

    Rolling his eyes, the bad boy sets his mug down next to his crisscrossed legs. Tilting his head up to watch the night sky, Jaebum sighed softly. Time like this, with the stars twinkling against a dark mat of clouds, was meant to be spent by someone special, someone close, someone who means the world to you. That someone could be the person right next to you right now. Jaebum looked over to his left, observing the way the limited light of the moon shadowing over the face of his reasons to fall. Resting his chin on the palm of his hand, Jaebum smiled warmly at his cute best friend, who’s trying to keep warm even with the thick blanket snuggling around his body. 

    “Jaebum,” Youngjae called, voice shaking caused by the merciless cold wind. “Are there stars?” He asked after hearing the low humming answer from the boy next to him. 

    Eyes never leaving Youngjae’s defined face, Jaebum nodded with a grin, “yeah, there are. There’s many many stars. But I can only see one.” 

    “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m pretty sure your eyesight is like twenty-twenty. Come on~ Tell me what you see!” Youngjae whined, shaking his body from side-to-side, bumping into Jaebum. 

    “Chill! You’re going to spill your drink!” Jaebum frowned as he reached over and grabbed the mug from the blind boy’s grasp. 

    “NO! It’s keeping my hands warm! Give it back, Im Jaebum!” Youngjae actively smacked his best friend repeatedly, determined to claim back his well-deserved hot chocolate. Afraid that their little petty fight would send the cup flying, Jaebum opted to return the mug back to its owner. Youngjae barked an annoyed “thank you” before going back to hugging the mugs with his frozen fingers. 

    “Want me to hold your hands instead?” Jaebum tried. “Human’s warmth is better.” 

    Pondering about it, Youngjae closed his eyes. He’s glad he’s doing a very fine job at hiding everything despite Jaebum’s sharp senses. Youngjae wondered how long would it be to act like he didn’t know anything before he gets caught. But he’d rather that than dealing with the awkwardness and pain of having to hurt his own best friend. Youngjae considered Jaebum a lot. He really did. So he tried. He tried to play along. Because he prefers Jaebum’s smiles over the bad boy’s own tears. 

    The blind boy slowly placed the mug down. His hand reached out, searching for Jaebum’s. “Where'd you go?” 

    Chuckling, Jaebum grabbed Youngjae’s hand and laced their fingers together, “right here.” 

    “Okay, now tell me,” the blind boy urged, wanting to know about what he’s missing out on. 

    Making himself comfortable while squeezing softly on Youngjae’s hand, Jaebum leaned against the glass doors, face and eyes focused on his best friend. “I see a very pretty star. A star that shines so bright, so blinding, so heated with passion, so soft and precious. I could only see one. One star that continuously makes my heart flutters. One star that I swear I could look at it all day and would still be mesmerized by its light. One star that leads me away from this lonely darkness. One star that matters to me more than anything else in this world.”

    “Wow,” Youngjae said, barely above a whisper, slightly shivering under the dreamy voice of his best friend, “that’s one special star to make a bad boy like you go all poetic and romantic like this.” 

    Biting back a ripping smile, Jaebum nodded, “very special. And I love it. I love it so much. But do you know? You don’t always get what you want in life. And there are things that never going your way, even if you desperately pray on it.” Jaebum paused as his eyes trailed over the shadow on Youngjae’s features. Suddenly, the bad boy forgot how to breathe, because all he could see and think of is how angelic Youngjae is. He wanted to be closer. To touch. To kiss. To do whatever to ease his guilt. To do whatever to stop this surging agony of want. To do whatever to be in the presence of something destructive. Jaebum was desperate. He was in so much pain by himself. “But what can you do? A voice in your head telling you to let go. Let go and time would stop and everything would be okay. Another voice pushing you to keep holding on. Keep holding on and be tortured by it, because that’s better than not being able to feel anything at all. I don’t know. Is love supposed to feel this way?”

    Youngjae just listened. He broke Jaebum’s heart. His other free hand gripped tightly onto the thick fabric of the blanket. He thought he was avoiding it. But he wasn’t. Youngjae just made it worse. What does he do now? What-

    “I know you know, Youngjae-ah,” Jaebum said. Youngjae didn’t miss the shakes of each word that left the his best friend's mouth. Jaebum smiled bitterly, “you think you’re acting normal. But you’re not, Jae-ah. We’ve been friends for too long. There’s not one thing I wouldn't notice. You don’t have to mention it. I don’t want to hear it anyways. Just let me continue falling deeper into this illusion of you being oblivious to my raging one-sided feelings. It’ll make things better for me, at least.”

    “Jaebum-“ 

    “Stop, I don’t want to hear it. Please, I… Just please, don’t say anything,” Jaebum pleaded quietly with his broken voice. The b wetness of the corners of his eyes blurred his vision of the beautiful midnight sky full of constellations. “Please, that’s all I want.” 

    Sorrow wasn’t an easy word. What Jaebum was going through surpassed everything a regular teenage boy could feel for one person. Jaebum had already noticed since that day. The day that Youngjae had let his fingertips ran softly over Jaebum's face, sending millions bolts of thunder down his spine. The moment Youngjae touched his crusted cold lips, Jaebum had already knew. Jaebum knew that Youngjae had confirmed whatever the blind boy was trying to verify. Then after that, everything Youngjae does was just plain awkward and uncomfortable. Jaebum couldn’t help but be hurt by it all. The weeks dragged on too long and every night he couldn’t sleep if his tears weren’t spilt heavily on his pillow. He wasn’t sure if he was depressed or something along that line, but he was sure about one thing: he was shattered of all will to step forward. 

    The undertone rejection took a toll on Jaebum’s life. He didn’t know what to do. Or possessed the right mind to find the solution to his heartbreak. Why was he doing this to himself? Jaebum didn’t have the answer. Days by days, the bad boy tried to fake it all, pretending that he was completely fine but he’s not. Not one bit. Everything ing stabbed him all at once. How could a person be fine after that? And whenever he saw Youngjae, Jaebum forced himself to swallow down every hints of suffering and misery, masking over them with his usual signature smile, as he hoped he won’t give himself away so easily. It’s like he’s addicted to eating glass shards even though it always ended with his mouth full of blood. 

    Youngjae slipped his hand out of their shared hold, leaving Jaebum clenching his own aching fists. This is it. This is where everything ends. The blind boy took a while to find his best friend’s face. Cupping Jaebum’s tear-stained cheeks in his cold palms, Youngjae smiled softly, “your Birthday is coming up and I’ve ran out of things to give you.” 

    Jaebum didn’t reply. The boy was just enjoying every second he has left. He wanted to treasure this moment. He wanted to keep this piece of memory within his dead heart. 

    “But now thinking about it,” Youngjae softly wiped away Jaebum’s tears, “I do have one.” 

    “One what…” Jaebum asked with a wrenching heart. 

    “Kiss,” Youngjae said, “one kiss.” 

    Before Jaebum could look up at Youngjae and questioned those words properly, the blind boy was quicker. Youngjae brought Jaebum’s face closer, pressing their lips together sweetly. 

    And time stopped. 

    Jaebum wished this moment could last forever.

    There’s nothing more painful than the throbbing of Jaebum’s heart.

    There’s nothing more painful than to know that Youngjae’s kiss was actually an apology. 

    An apology for all the torments, all the heartaches, all the despairs, that he had caused unknowingly. 

    An apology for hurting Jaebum unintentionally. 

    An apology for not being able to mend Jaebum’s broken heart.

    An apology for not capable of giving Jaebum what he wants: 

    Youngjae’s heart.