8. By your Side

Pairing: Seulkai [Seulgi and Jongin]

Concept: :(((

[Completed]

Please listen to Lay Me Down by Sam Smith as you read this.

She had called 4, 7, 10 times. She wasn't even sure anymore, it was probably more than that. She didn't want to bother him but at the same time the heavy feeling on her chest wouldn't leave her and made her unable to think reasonably. She needed to see him. Seulgi felt helpless.

She left a few messages too, asking him to call her back as soon as he could, as soon as he wanted to, as soon as he would need her. Seulgi needed to let him know that she was there, Jongin had to know she would be there for him.

Seulgi put down her phone on the coffee table and huddled against her knees on the couch. It was now 11:12 pm and Jongin hadn't given her one sign of life yet. She just wished he was breathing, blinking, crying or even completely immobile it didn't matter, next to her. She wanted Jongin near her. She had to see him with her own eyes to make sure he was okay.

Was it stress that made her restlessly imagine all the possible ways he could be feeling right now? Perhaps it was because Seulgi knew him so well that she knew he wasn't alright. He couldn't be.

Because she knew he wasn't and if he wasn't then she wasn't neither. She could feel his pain from miles away and it hurt. She cried all day and as if that wasn't enough, she spent the rest of it calling him. Now that she was done with her own grief, she had to take care of him. Jongin was all that mattered in this moment.

Seulgi picked up her phone like it was an impulsive twitch she caught in the last hours and checked to see if he had left a message or texted her. None, it was still empty.

He would come see her when he would feel the need to, if ever. Her left shoulder would always be his, it was there for him to let his frustrations out and cry. "Humans cry, it is not about being a man or a woman. What should I do if I have feelings?"

"It will be alright," Seulgi whispered. She wasn't sure who she was trying to comfort at this point, it wasn't clear. "You will get through this Jongin."

A deep sigh escaped her lips as she remembered her first reaction to the news. It happened so fast and it was so disheartening, so cruelly sudden. She couldn't imagine how he reacted. He must have felt like the sky fell on him and the world stopped turning.

Seulgi heard three soft hesitant knocks on her door and she didn't need more to know it was him. She ran to the door and took him in her arms as soon as she could. Maybe she needed it more than he did.

"Seulgi," he whispered in the crook of her neck. His voice was so weak, so soft. He unknowingly made all his pain transparent by saying her name alone. Seulgi held tighter