16. Love Syndrome

Pairing: Vseul [Taehyung and Seulgi]

Concept: Students!Au

Inpiration: Make it Count | Chen (not going to lie, it doesn't have much to do with this but I was listening to it while writing and it's such a good song whew)

[Completed]

It is in a heartbeat, a smile,  a step, a word. She knows, she knows all this too much. This feeling is familiar, beautiful, exhilarating, intense and passionate and it is so because it belongs to him and everything about him is explosive. It explodes in all colors in her mind, Seulgi never really understood what was the cause behind this but whenever he was around, everything was extreme, critical and exponentially powerful. Her senses were heightened, she was nervous all the time and she blushed, yes she definitely blushed a lot.

" It is your sympathetic nervous system reacting to the stress, " Sooyoung would always say. " It’s because he makes you feel like you’re in danger and that his simple presence could possibly kill you that your body is reacting the way that it is. It is threatened. "

Sooyoung had always been a bit dramatic and Seulgi was never really good with science but maybe it could explain why she always felt like her stomach was ripping itself out of her when he smiled her way or that she was on the verge of collapsing when his face turned so bright just because she had said something slightly funny. There was also those instances when her legs would give in as soon as she felt their hands brush past each other when they walked side by side or her deep sighs because she could remember something nice he had told her about herself or even her heart beating faster simply because she could recognize the smell of his perfume. 

It was this and all that but it didn’t matter because in any case, Seulgi didn’t understand.

She didn’t understand those reactions but she knew that she was infatuated with this human being and that maybe, he too, appreciated her. How strange it was to her to be able to give all her time and energy to someone else. It was strange to always have him on her mind and yet she loved it. Once again, Seulgi couldn’t understand but she knew it was beautiful.

" Does it ever stop? " she had asked Sooyoung. " Will I ever stop overreacting like that? "

Seulgi could remember that Sooyoung had smiled before leaving her clueless at the bus stop to think of her worries.

" It should stop when you’ll stop being so whipped. "

As confused as Seulgi was back then, she knew what she had to do to make it stop because as much as she loved feeling ten feet above the ground all the time, she was scared that it would never stop or worse, that she would get her heart broken while feeling so euphoric. Seulgi wasn’t sure that her heart would handle the crash.

" Say, Taehyung, what happens between infatuation and love? " she asked him clumsily as they reached the bus stop to go back home.

" You mean the difference between love and infatuation? " Taehyung frowned.

"No, what is the stage between being infatuated with someone and loving someone? " Seulgi corrected as she felt her cheeks burning. " You know, you start by appreciating them and then you like them, next is being infatuated with them and then it’s love. "

" But I don’t think it works like that? " Taehyung said with a confused expression. " Some people fall in love in the time others are infatuated with someone, you can like someone and never love them just like you can be infatuated with them and never fall in love… Or so I think, " he added when he saw Seulgi’s face crumble. " I don’t think feelings are meant to be seen as stages but as independent feelings. You’re not necessarily going up or down stairs in a relationship, you can love your other half a little bit more and sometimes a little bit less but it doesn’t mean you only like them per se… "

" Oh my God, " Seulgi whispered in shock as Taehyung continued to explain her where she was wrong.

" But why are you asking that? Had a quiz on that tragic love book you were reading the other day? " 

" N-no, I— huh, it just crossed my mind and I thought I could ask you, anyway thanks, " Seulgi tried to smile. " As usual, you’re always so reliable. "

" I don’t know if that is true but I will always try my best, " Taehyung nodded bashfully. " You can count on me. "

Although, Seulgi smiled again and again as she continued to talk to Taehyung and cheerfully waved bye when he got out of the bus, she had never felt so disoriented before.

When she arrived home, she went straight to bed and tried to not confuse herself even more with her lack of knowledge on the matter.

" I didn’t know there was a love dictionary, " she breathed onto her pillow. " Now what do I do? What am I even doing?"

To cure herself, she needed to know what exactly she was suffering from. So she decided to do a little bit of research on the internet by typing in the search bar her symptoms. Thousands of results appeared in the form of Youtube videos, blogs, podcasts, novel ads, online dating sites and even some serious medicine sources that claimed she could be suffering from the early signs of hypothyroidism. 

" The differences between love and infatuation, " she read out loud as the clock onto her nightstand ticked 3’o clock. " When you’re in love, it is not temporary or sudden unlike infatuation because it takes time to know someone and fall for them. " Seulgi frowned. " Since when do I like Taehyung? 11th grade? Or maybe 9th grade? " she gasped loudly after counting on her hand how much time had gone by since then. " 4 years?! "

Seulgi couldn’t remember when it became so serious.  She couldn’t exactly recall when Taehyung’s laugh became so precious, his smile so important and his presence so indispensable. Taehyung had always been a good friend and an important person in her life but someone she loved? Was 4 years enough time to call it love?

Seulgi shook her head to return to her diagnostic.

" Infatuation implies superficial reasons such as appearance, wealth and popularity among others and most of the time, impulsivity, " Seulgi continued. " It is more the idea of being with that person than the person themselves that is appealing which is why many deceptions can be associated with infatuation. Most people are infatuated with someone for their looks but you cannot fall in love with someone’s appearance, love involves necessarily the personality."

Seulgi thought that wasn’t her case although she wasn’t sure anymore. How could she say