“Mom, I’m home.” Fifteen year old Jin hollers through the foyer as he enters the house. He drops his baby pink backpack to the floor with a loud thump as he stoops low to loosen the laces of his nikes.

 

“Ah, Jinnine. How was school today?” a melodic voice wraps around Jin’s tired shoulders and he finds himself smiling easily as he straightens after removing his shoes and placing them to the side in their usual spot.

 

“Oh, you know.” Jin shrugs, looking into the loving eyes of his mother. “Math but I aced my history exam.” This statement earned him a quiet chuckle and a hand to his lower back steering him towards the kitchen, heavy backpack in tow.

 

“Your dad always hated math too and look at him now.” Jin’s mother says with a wry smile. She leads Jin to the breakfast nook where a small snack is waiting for him just like always.

 

As they sit together and begin to nibble on apple slices, Jin realizes there’s a part of this very familiar story he’s never thought to ask about. “If dad hated math so much, how did he end up a math teacher of all things? He loves it.”  

 

The smile that stretches Jin’s mother’s mouth is very familiar to him. Both of his parents have a special smile that is saved just for one another. When he sees this smile he knows this story is seeped in his parents journey together as soulmates.

 

“You know your dad and I met our freshmen year of college.” she begins, caressing the colorful soulmate mark on the heel of her left hand. “His family intended for him to go into journalism so he’d be able to continue the family newspaper. I was obviously in fashion but the first several semesters of college are filled with general ed classes so we were both forced into taking math.” The look in his mother’s eye is distant as if she’s reliving the memory even as she speaks. Jin’s eyes trace his mom’s soulmate marking, the riotous swirls of peach and pink and purple miraculously melding into the meticulous scaffolding of blues and greens. It represents his parents so perfectly.

 

“Neither of us were very good.” his mother’s voice brings him back to the story. “I would about how we’d both fail and be stuck taking the class over and over for eternity. Then we took our first exam. I failed it so thoroughly that I ended up crying. I really felt like I’d be stuck taking math over and over forever. So, your dad sat down and figured out what was being taught so he could teach me. It’s like his need to do it to help me was the key that made everything just click for him. When the semester was over we had both passed but he wanted more. His family wasn’t thrilled but he just kept filling his schedule with math courses until he was adding physics and astronomy and chemistry and anything else that tied in with his ever expanding knowledge. He could have done so many things with his schooling but more than anything he didn’t want anyone else feeling stuck like I had that very first semester so he decided to teach. Every day he teaches is a gift to me.”

 

*******

 

That night, as Jin lies in bed, homework complete and sleep just out of reach, his mother’s story fills his head. His parents would do anything for one another as well as for him. He is their pride and he knows it; the physical representation of their love. And yet, in the still of the night, nights like this one, he can’t help but question. Do his parents love him for who he is? Or is it just because he’s the result of their love? He knows no one will ever love him as much as his parents love one another. Not even his parents can love him that much. Why doesn’t he get love like that? Is he undeserving? Not good enough somehow? Who even decides who is deserving and who isn’t? Can people who aren’t soulmates experience true love? Questions and doubt finally pull him into slumber.

 

*******

 

“Mom, I’m home.” Jin hollers through the foyer as he returns from school. He stoops low, removing his shoes and placing them in their usual spot. The house is quiet as he slings his backpack over his shoulder once again and heads towards the kitchen. It’s not often his mom’s not there to greet him when he gets home but he can handle this. He grabs a couple cookies and a glass of milk, sitting at the little table of the breakfast nook and opening his backpack. Might as well get a start on homework, he figures.

 

As he finishes his homework evening is approaching and his mom is yet to return home. He’s beginning to get a little nervous. Is his mom alright? Did something happen? She should have been started on dinner almost an hour ago. He pulls his phone out of his bag to check if she left him any messages. When there is nothing he pulls up her number to call but before he can do so he hears the garage door opening and a car pulling inside. With a relieved sigh he begins packing his schoolwork into his bag.

 

“Ah, Jinnie. Sorry I’m so late.” his mom rushes out as she breezes into the kitchen, take out bags in hand.

 

Jin is quick to rush to his mother’s side. “It’s ok. I already finished my homework for the whole weekend.” he announces as he helps spread the boxes of Chinese food across the countertop. A slight movement catches in the corner of his eye and he turns to see his cousin looming in the doorway from the garage. “Oh! Tae!” he exclaims. “I didn’t even see you there! Why didn’t you say anything? You startled me.”

 

“Sorry, Jin hyung.” Taehyung states flatly as he finally steps fully into the kitchen. If truth be told, he loves his aunt and uncle and cousin but he often feels so out of place in their presence. It’s like he’s from a different world and he doesn’t really know how to fit in. It wasn’t so bad while his mom was still alive. She was the tie that kept him tethered to this peaceful, domestic scene. After she had killed herself, all his ties to hope of a ‘normal’ life had been severed and he no longer belonged anywhere.

 

“It’s cool, Tae. Come eat.” Jin encourages. It’s been awhile since he’s seen his cousin and he’s glad the younger boy is there. He worries for him at times. Not only is he seldom the bright, cheerful boy he used to be before his mother died but he’s become quiet, withdrawn, thin. He worries for the boy’s health and happiness and wishes they didn’t live so far away from one another so he could take care of him.

 

Taehyung approaches the counter, taking the plate Jin gives him in hand. He looks over the spread of food and his stomach gives a mighty growl. He’d be embarrassed but he missed lunch, his only meal of the day, and he knows if he were at home he wouldn’t get any meals for the whole weekend. With more gusto than he’s had in awhile he loads his plate high with some of everything on offer before sitting at the dining room table.

 

Watching Taehyung for some reason makes Jin sad. With a quiet sigh under his breath he dishes himself up and follows his cousin into the dining room. His mom follows after him with two glasses of water for the boys. Then she goes to make her own plate.

 

“When’s dad going to be home?” Jin asks as his mom takes her seat. It’s not normal for him to miss dinner.

 

He notices Taehyung stiffen slightly next to him as his mom answers. “He’ll be out of town tonight. He should be home tomorrow though.”

 

Jin feels the undertones of a story but the small sigh from his side makes him hold off his questions for later. If there’s one thing he’s good at it’s getting answers but he knows how to go about it so no one gets hurt in the process. Dinner passes more quiet than usual with conversation subsisting on nothing more than small talk as Taehyung shovels food into his mouth like a starving man.

 

Finally the meal ends and Jin escorts Taehyung up to his room. “Do you have a bag or need anything?” he remembers to ask as they ascend the stairs.

 

“Nope.” is Taehyung’s lackluster reply.

 

Jin gets his Mario Kart game running and hands Taehyung a controller. It’s the game they always play when the younger comes over so he’s hoping it’ll help him break the ice. “I’m Princess Peach.” he chirps as he plops into a beanbag chair. “Who are you going to be?”

 

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he sits in the beanbag chair next to his cousin. “I don’t care.” He pauses for a moment before asking, “Aren’t we a little old for this game, hyung?”

 

“Too old!?” Jin is floored by the audacity of the question. “You can never be too old for Mario. You know that as well as I do. What’s up, Tae?”

 

Taehyung sighs again, feeling like he’s done that a lot tonight. “I don’t know, hyung. It’s nothing, really.”

 

“I’m really glad to see you, Tae. I’ve missed you.” Jin begins carefully. “How’d my mom end up coming to get you?”

 

Taehyung hesitates. Does he really want to air his dirty laundry to his cousin? Then again, it’s an awful lot for a twelve year old to handle all on his own. Finally he relents. “My dad was freaking out on the landlord today when he came to collect the rent. Someone called the cops and he was arrested. That’s where your dad is. Taking care of my dad.”

 

“Are you okay?” Jin asks, worry dripping from every word. His hand naturally reaches out for his cousin, the weight of it warm yet heavy on Taehyung’s knee.

 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Taehyung replies. He’s used to taking care of himself. It’s stranger that his dad had been home in the first place. In fact, he’s lucky the landlord showed up. His dad had been drunk and surely would have beat him if the landlord hadn’t taken his attention instead.

 

“Wasn’t it kinda scary to see your dad get arrested?” Jin asked. If it had been him, he would have been terrified. He’s never seen his dad get angry; annoyed at times maybe, but never upset enough to yell or have the cops called on him.

 

Tae just snorted in reply, rolling his eyes. “Hey, let’s get outta here. Go out and actually have some fun.” he suggested to change the subject.

 

“Um, I don’t know, Tae. Where would we go? There’s nothing really to do.” Jin countered, unsure of what to really say.

 

“Aw, come on, man. You’re in highschool now and it’s Friday night. Surely there’s a party or something going on.” Taehyung whined, flashing his puppy eyes.

 

Yeah, and I’m class president and the top of my class. You think I get invited to anything like that? Jin thought to himself, slightly annoyed that the younger had to point it out even if he hadn’t really. “Um… Maybe we could go to a movie or something?” Jin offered hesitantly. “I could ask my mom if she’ll give us a ride.”

 

Taehyung smiled, mischief flashing in his eyes. “Let’s do that.” He definitely felt the need to get out of this stifling house and pretty much any excuse would work.

 

*******

 

Jin thanked his mom for the ride as Taehyung hopped out of the back seat. “What should we see?” Jin asked as he joined Taehyung in front of the theater, the wall lined with movie posters.

 

“Whatever you want, hyung.” Taehyung replied, grey-tinged smoke escaping his lips as he spoke.

 

“Tae! What the hell are you doing?” Jin exclaimed in shock. “Are you smoking? Where did you even get that?”

 

“No need to freak, hyung. They were my dad’s. It’s not like he’s gonna miss ‘em in jail.” the younger replied with an eye roll. “Hey, we should get some snacks at the convenience store first.” he added.

 

“No, Tae. You’re not smoking around me.” Jin hissed, smacking the cigarette from Taehyung’s hands. “And we can’t take outside food into the theater. You know that.”

 

Taehyung rolled his eyes again. “Seriously, hyung? Don’t you ever get tired of being good all the time? Besides, it’s cheaper to get snacks at the convenience store than in the theater. If we save money now we can go to the arcade too.”

 

Jin marveled at his cousin’s changing features as he spoke. He started off with a hard, judging glare, transitioning into an eyebrow lift that was filled with pragmatism and common sense, finally becoming all pouty lips and puppy eyes. How do you even do that? Jin wondered almost contemptuously but the thought couldn’t last as his heart melted. He never was able to resist Taehyung’s puppy eyes and the younger knew it.

 

“You know what? Fine. You go get snacks and I’ll buy the tickets to whatever I want to see. Deal?”

 

“Deal.” Taehyung said, his signature box grin stretching his features as a giggle escaped the confines of his chest.

 

Jin handed him some of the won notes his mom had given him before turning on his heel to pick a movie to watch. Making his choice, he approached the ticket teller. “Two tickets to Enchanted please.” he stated with a smirk. Take that, Kim Taehyung. He smugly thought to himself.

 

It took longer than he had anticipated for Taehyung to join him inside the theater lobby. He was starting to get nervous as he waited, kicking himself for being too petty to go with his cousin to the store. Just as he was about to go looking for the younger, Taehyung came bouncing through the door. He waved his hand to get his attention and as their eyes met the younger broke out into a mischievous grin. Now what? He thought to himself but before he could say anything he was being pulled towards the ticket taker.

 

Once they had wended their way through the crowd to the right theater and Taehyung had found ‘the perfect seats’ near the back, Jin could finally ask, “So, what did you get?”

 

“Hm?” Taehyung looked confused for a moment. “Oh, here.” he exclaimed as he began pulling candy bars from his multiple cargo pants pockets along with two bottles of pop.

 

“How’d you fit all that in your pockets?” Jin exclaimed, amazed at his cousin’s haul. Taehyung just grinned at him, wondering when would be the right time to pull the bottle of soju he lifted out. Maybe he should wait to get back to his aunt and uncles? Then he could wait for Jin to fall asleep too and wouldn’t have to worry about the elder chastising him again.

 

“I don’t know.” he shrugged at Jin’s question. “That’s what pockets are for, right?” When his cousin just looked at him dubiously he decided to change the subject. “What are we watching anyway?”

 

Jin smiled devilishly. “Enchanted.”

 

“What? Seriously, hyung? You did see that Transformers and I Am Legend are playing, right?” Taehyung asked incredulously.

 

Jin’s smile widened. “Of course, Tae. But you chose to do wrong so I got to pick what I wanted.” He reasoned with a saccharine smile.

 

Taehyung huffed in annoyance. “Fine then. Give me back my candy bars. You can have some after the movie if there are any left.” Jin just rolled his eyes as he unscrewed the lid to his drink. “Oh, I’ll take that pop back too.” Taehyung added as an afterthought, grabbing the drink out of his cousin’s hand before he could actually drink any of it.

 

“Yah! You brat. I’m still your hyung.” Jin protested.

Taehyung just giggled as he sat back comfortably in his seat, eyeing the big screen as it sparked to life. I don’t know if I can wait to get back before I crack open this soju. He thought to himself. Not sure I can make it through this flick without it.