"What is a friend for? Have you ever imagined your life without a friend? Do you believe you would be able to overcome life's hardships without a friend? If you all think about it- even if some of you believe you have no one to count on- you will soon realize that there's at least one person in your life whose existance and offer is of a major importance. A friend is someone who will cry with you or laugh with you. A friend is someone who will be proud of you. A friend is someone who will fight for you. A friend is finally someone who will want only the best for you."

Sehun

"A lot of people believe that there's no such thing as a friendship between a man and a woman. Ι don't know if I agree with that statement, but coming to think about it, I feel like at a certain point, one of them will eventually fall in love with the other- if that wasn't the case from the beginning. That's how it is from nature. A man and a woman feel a physical attraction for each other. When I started this whole friendship thing with Sehun I knew that Sehun would never be a friend to me. Sehun is my unrequited first love and this can not change even if I try my best to. The thing is, I wanted Sehun in my life, and I wanted to be a part of his. I had to find a way to make it happen. If being his friend means that I'm of some importance to him, then I accept being a friend for him, but he's definately not a friend to me. To me, Sehun is my little source of joy, someone I will always care for. Someone I will always wish the best for..."

Rian

"Miss Rian! There's someone who wants to see you." Mrs. Park exclaimed.
"Me? Who is it?"
"He's the neighbor. He says he's your friend from school."
"Sehun? Tell him to come upstairs!" Rian answered, still shocked from the fact that Sehun was actually in her home asking for her.

She heard his steps on the stairs, as she looked herself in the mirror trying to fix her hair.

"Rian, I'm coming in." Sehun said, before opening the door.

"Hi...Did something happened?"
"Cute room." He simply said wandering around, not answering her question.

"I've seen it a lot of times, but never from so close." He continued.
"What do you mean you've seen it a lot of times?"
"Come here." He said as he directed her to the window."
"Do you see that window over there?" He pointed his finger to the huge white window.
"Yes..."
"That's my room. Although I'm sure you already know."
"I don't-"
"Come on."
"Okay I do."
"Voila..."
"Do you imply you're watching me?"
"In my free time..." Silence.
"No I'm joking. Sometimes when I'm bored I'm just staring outside of the window. The first thing that I can see is of course your window, hence your room."
"Oh..."
"Well, as you can understand I did not come here to talk to you about your room."
"I'm listening."
"I saw you today. I mean, I saw the fight between Soyeon and Krystal, and I saw how you defended Krystal."
"I know Soyeon is your girlfriend, but it was just so unfair, I could not let it pass by like that."
"I wanted to tell you, you were amazing today."

His words caught her by surprise. She felt a little proud of herself, but she soon thought that he did not deny Soyeon is his girlfriend and that somewhat hurt her. 

"Ah...Thank you."
"No, really! I was about to go and stop them, but you did it before I did. I felt taken aback, but I was actually impressed! Well, I suppose I just wanted to say, that you're a very cool girl and that you should let people get to know you more."
"You helped me come out of my shell. It's all thanks to you."
"I just talked with you a little bit. It's not thanks to me Rian, it's thanks to you. It's all thanks to your will and determination. You wanted to change your way of living and that's exactly what you're doing. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you Sehun. Seriously..."
"Now, do you remember that we declaired ourselves as friends?"
"Yes of course."
"Then could you help me with something?"

Rian could not help but feel happy and special. Sehun turned to her to ask for help. He did not even ask his friends, he asked her.

"I'd be more than willing to help you."
"Thank you Rian..."
"What is the problem?"
"You know, things are really complicated with Soyeon..."
 

Crack... 

"Oh..." 

The sudden change in Rian's mood was quite visible, but seeing how Sehun kept talking he must have not noticed.

"The thing is, do you remember that yesterday on the beach I told you that I had a date?"
"Yes, you told me it was with Soyeon."
"She waited for me for so long and I did not even pick up my phone. She's furious and disappointed and it's all my fault. But on the other side I'm kind of annoyed by her behaviour today. I want to make things right with her, but on the other side I feel like I want to scold her. What should I do?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you're my friend. And you're a girl too. I thought I should talk to you. Do you mind? Do you feel uncomfortable talking with me so casually?"
"No! That's not the case. I'm asking you because it felt weird that you did not ask Jongin. He's your best friend."
"I just feel like a girl would help more..."
"Do you want me to be honest with you?

"Of course I want you to be honest with me. Otherwise why would I come to you?"
"Well come here." She said and they sat on her bed.
"If you want to make it up to her, then be honest. You said you wanted to make things right for the both of you. If you're not honest with her then you're starting it wrong."
"Then what do you suggest me to do?"
"Tell her the truth. Tell her you were with me. Tell her it's not your fault. I was the one who jumped on to your motorcycle. Tell her this, while you look to her eyes so that she knows you're honest. Soyeon, I anticipated our date a lot. I spent hours looking myself at my mirror so that I looked good for you. I even practiced everything I would say, but I thought I looked ridiculous so everytime I started all over again."

Sehun recalled the things he had done that day and he couldn't help but feel like Rian was watching him. What Sehun did not know was that Rian told him the things she felt. How she anticipated going to school today. How she spent hours putting on make up and curlying her hair. How she imagined all those conversations they would have...

"I left my home earlier so that I'll be there first. I did not want to make you wait, not even a second. I wanted to be a gentleman for you. When I got out of my home, I saw a crazy girl running up to me jumping onto my motorcycle. At first I was taken aback so I planned on throwing her out, but then I saw all of those guards coming after her and I felt bad, so I started the engine and I took her away."

Rian felt hurt by all those things. She could not believe she was helping Sehun with Soyeon. Suddenly, the whole friends thing seemed a stupid idea.

"I drove us to the first place that crossed my mind. When we got there I was curious as to why she wanted to escape her home, so I asked her. Then I felt like she needed someone to talk to, so I offered. I wanted to come to you, but this girl was so troubled, I felt bad for her."

Sehun started to feel bad, but he did not know why.

"When you called me I wanted to pick up the phone right away. I wanted to apologize and tell you not to go, tell you to wait for me. I wanted to explain everything. Then it comes to the part where she starts screaming because you were with me. She will ask if you have feelings for me. Then you should say this..." Rian said, hiding her tears by a smile.

"I knew you would ask me if I have feelings for Rian, but my answer is no. Rian is...just a friend. I wanted to help her through her problems, but you're the one I like."

Sehun gave Rian a long staring. He tried to read her face. She seemed confused and burdened but he could not understand why. He did not know what to say, but something made him want to hug her. 

On the other hand Rian was trying her best not to cry. She had taken in the fact that for Sehun she was just a friend. The girl he liked was Soyeon, not her. That's when she understood that the friends thing would not work. To her Sehun was not a friend. She could never see him as a friend and she was stupid enought to think she could try. She tried to be grateful to the fact that he accepted her as a friend, but she was only human and she wanted more. However Sehun needed her help and she would give it to him. If Sehun wanted her as a friend then she would be a friend to him. But to her, Sehun was definately not a friend.

"That's how you do it Oh Sehun. Why are you so silent?" She said with a big comforting smile.
"Wow...You girls are such weird creatures. Talking to you was a perfect idea." 

How wrong he was...

"But-" She cut him off.

"I told you I'd be honest with you. Soyeon is like this Sehun. You can not change her. Either take her as she is or leave her. You think scolding her would change anything? You know it yourself that her personality is like that. She wants it all to herself. You can tell her your opinion, but I doubt it would change a thing. I'm sorry."
"You're right. You know, when I told the guys I liked her they were all opposing the idea of us being a couple, because of her character. But she's not like that to me you know? To me she's an angel."
"Well that's how it works if you like someone Sehun. Their flaws mean nothing to you. You're finding excuses for them. And that's okay..."
"Rian...I don't know what to say. Thank you so much..."
"No, you're welcome. Anytime..."
"I have to go! Thanks again!"
"Goodbye Sehun."

And when Rian got left alone she let that tear fall down. She felt hurt. She knew Sehun liked Soyeon from the beginning but it wasn't as easy as she thought. Could she truly change? Not for Sehun, but for her. She still wanted to take care of herself in the mornings. She still wanted to make friends. She still wanted to be the cool girl everyone saw in the school today. She still wanted to do a million things, but not for Sehun. For her. She wanted to be the best version of herself, but for her.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 

The next day Rian woke up determined to be the girl she wanted to be. After washing up, she put on her school uniform and she continued with the make up. Today she let her naturally long straight hair like that. She was happy with her appearence. She wasn't as joyful as yesterday, but one could see the spark in her eyes. She was a girl who could not go unnoticed.

When she got in the car she let Mr. Choi know about the recent events and she informed him that from now on she would be strong. From now on she would not let anyone underestimate her.

When she got to school she visited her dance teacher.

"Mrs. Alice!"
"Rian...that was really unexpected."
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"I want to be a part of the team."
"Oh my god Rian! Finally! I was literally begging you for so many years!"
"I like dancing a lot, so I thought, why not?"
"I'll talk to Soyeon."
"She will not like it."
"Well you don't have to audition. You have my permission!"
"Thank you Mrs.!"

"Ah! Soyeon-ah!" Mrs. Alice said as Soyeon was passing by.

"Goodmorning Mrs. Alice, what happened?"
"I wanted to inform you that Rian will be a part of the group from now on."
"WHAT? That can't happen! She has never been a part, plus she has to audition."
"Darling Rian took dance classes since she was 3 years old. I've seen her dancing in one of her performances and she was spectacular. Hence, she does not have to audition. She has my permission."
"You can't do this to me Mrs. Alice! No one has ever entered the team without my authorization!"

"And why are you opposing so strongly? Do you perhaps let your personal motives take over your crisis? Rian is a very good addition to the team."
"Well, it's because I have to see her dancing myself. I can't let her enter if I don't see her."
"Okay then, Rian sweetheart, will you give us a performance?"

"Sure!" Rian said with a promising look. "Oh Lee Rian, you really can't seem to shut up these days..." She thought to herself.
"Then the two of you will have to come find me when you have a break."
"I have to put one more condition Mrs."
"What is it Soyeon?"
"That she dances in front of the whole school. You know the auditions had always been like this." 

Soyeon was trying to take advantage of Rian's shyness for her gain. She was sure Rian would not do it.

"Rian, do you agree?" Mrs. Alice asked Rian.

Rian could feel her heart beating fast. She started getting anxious. Of course she had danced in front of people a lot of times. But in front of the whole school? In front of her classmates? The people that they only know her as the freak who never talks? 

 But she had to do it. She would do it.

"I agree." She said confidently.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

The break had come and the two girls headed to Mrs. Alice's office. She took them to the school's auditorium, where she took the microphone.

"All the students that are interested can come to the auditorium for an emergency audition of the school's dance team."

Soon, the auditorium was full of students with questioning faces. They were all curious to see who would be the girl auditioning for the team so unexpectedly they had to call in an emergency audition. Usually the auditions took place every 3 months. And the first audition of the year would be in a month.

"Well, seeing how most of you are here I have to announce the name of the girl auditioning. Today in the morning Lee Rian came to find me and she asked me to participate. Soyeon opposed saying she had to audition first, so here we are. You guys will be the judges and Soyeon can see Rian dancing as well. Then, everyone will be happy right?"

"Rian the stage is yours."

Rian gave Mrs. Alice a CD. 
"Play track 8." She said.

She got up the stage. She was so nervous she thought her head would burst out. Her heart was beating fast and her stomach started hurting.

"You have to do it Rian. You can't back down now. You can do it. Well, let's concentrate. No one's here. You're all alone. Like when you're practising home." She thought to herself. Then everything went black. There was no audience. Just Mr. Choi and her father watching her with glee in their eyes. She could do it, and she would.

She picked a song that she knew would amaze the audience. It was Christina Aguilera's Dirrty.

The music started playing and she took a deep breath. Then she concentrated and she started dancing. Soon the students went crazy. No one knew Lee Rian was that good of a dancer. At this rate she could steal the team's leadership from Soyeon.  Rian overcame her fear after a few seconds and she let herself to the rhythm. She wore an attractive smile and she went on with her freestyle choreography.

When she finished the students gave her a standing ovation. She looked at their faces and saw the excitement written all over them. She did good, and she knew. She was proud of herself.

"Wow Rian! That was pretty good." Mrs. Alice said as she got up to the stage as well.

"Thank you."
"So, what do you think everyone? Should Rian be a part of the team?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeees!" All the students said, still applauding.
"Soyeon, do you have anything to say?"
"No Mrs." She said annoyed. No, annoyed was a understatement. She was furious. She just hated Rian.

"Good, then Lee Rian you are officialy a member of our team."
"Thank you...Ah, Mrs. Alice, do you know where Mrs. Kang is?"
"In the office, why?"
"I want to participate to the school's chorus as well." Rian said, full of joy. 

It was the first time she tried something for herself. Now she knew there's nothing she couldn't do. She had faith to herself. She had made it.

Author's corner

Another chapter for you. Hope you like it! What do you think of Rian taking control of her life?