taeil has always been awkward. something as personal as speaking about feelings isn’t taeil’s line of expertise, so when jaemin pulled him aside asking for his help, on one hand, he didn’t want to get involved, but on the other hand, jaemin was his precious dongsaeng.

“so girl problems, huh?” taeil asked timidly. jaemin nodded. the two of them sat on taeil’s bed. both of them avoided making eye contact.

“hina is a nice girl,” taeil began slowly, trying to think of something to say. “you guys match well.”

“yeah i like her, but i don’t know how to tell her,” jaemin said, looking at his hands.

“have you tried writing her a letter? you don’t have to write her one, but it’s nice. a personal touch, you know?”

jaemin looked at taeil and shook his head.  hina would love a letter.

“i wrote a girl a letter once, but she didn't like me back. kind of broke my heart,“ taeil laughed although the statement was anything but funny. “i mean, it wasn't like i became depressed or anything, and it’s not like she was my first love.”

jaemin froze, his eyes moving to taeil.

“don’t worry. i doubt that hina would be so merciless. i mean, i had it coming. the girl had a boyfriend.”

“hyung,” he hesitated cursing himself for starting the sentence. “do you want to talk about it?”

jaemin regret asking because he spent the rest of the afternoon patting taeil’s back as he cried over his unrequited love, claiming that destiny would seize the day.

after taeil had composed himself, jaemin went to his room to pull out a pen and paper. he started writing, writing, and writing. and when he was done, taeil entered his room.

taking the paper from jaemin, taeil began crossing out lines, circling words, and writing notes in the margins. jaemin could only look on, horrified, as his letter, which he spent an hour writing, was being marked up. taeil told him that he must protect his dongsaeng from the pains he felt, and the only way to do so was by perfecting his letter.

as jaemin wrote, taeil sat by his side, forcing a straw into his mouth. he claimed that water promoted brain activity. he was also the same person who blasted stevie wonder because “youngsters need to understand that stevie wonder is a musical god”.

fourteen drafts and five pens later, his letter was (finally) done. he could barely lift his arm to hand taeil the letter, but he didn’t need to because as soon as taeil sensed jaemin stop writing, he snatched the letter from him. as taeil read over the final draft, he teared up.

“this is beautiful. magnificent. bravo.” taeil said in between sobs.

he then sent jaemin off as he shouted words of encouragement. walking away, jaemin gave taeil a thumbs-up.

as jaemin left, taeil felt a hand on his shoulder. behind him was johnny and the other members looking conflicted over whether they should laugh or cry.

“hyung, why are you like this?”

when jaemin arrived, all the water had finally gotten to him because he could barely stand straight. he spent the next four minutes knocking on the door with urgency. herin looked at him with disbelief as he pushed past her once she opened the door. her eyes darted to the letter he threw on the table as he ran toward the bathroom.

after she could hear the sound of the lock clicking, she walked to the letter. she picked it up and scanned its contents, smirking as she finished reading it. hearing the water begin to run, she put it back down.

how much water did i actually drink?  jaemin thought to himself as he dried his hands on a towel. shuddering, he swore to never drink that much water ever again. when he stopped drying his hands, he looked at the towel he was using. it’s pink and soft, kind of like hina.

walking back to the table, jaemin watched as herin filled a cup with water.

“did you have a great time princess?”

“did you do something to this?” he accused her as he searched the letter for any signs of it being tampered with.

“of course i didn’t. you’re not that special.”

“good,” he says putting it back down. “where’s hina?”

“gee, and to think that you came to visit me.” herin walked toward jaemin. “they’ll be back in a couple minutes. they ran downstairs to pop the laundry into the washing machine. the real question is: why are you here?”

“i came here to give hina something, but this time, it’s just for hina. do you hear me?” jaemin squinted his eyes at herin.

“fine. see if i care,” herin said before placing her cup on the table.

the two had a short staring contest before the other returned shortly after. koeun and lami both scowled when they saw jaemin. hina, of course, smiled.

“hina, i want-”

“gosh, not again,” herin let out after the sound of her cup hitting the table could be heard.

“are you alright?” koeun asked her.

“yes, i’m fine. i just knocked over my cup.” the five of them scrambled to clean the mess.

jaemin was busy helping the others wipe the floor when he looked up and saw his letter. he quickly stood to grab it, but it was too late. the entire letter was soaked, and all the writing had merged into a single inkblot.

he looked to herin. “sorry,” she mouthed with a grin. jaemin wanted to rip that smile off her face.

when he came home and told taeil how his letter hadn’t even gotten the chance to be in hina’s hands, he cried that he had cursed him. that night, not only did jaemin have to nurse his pride, he also had to console taeil. all over again.