Hangeng wanted to stop at the hotel first, to compose himself a little, but he knew, the longer he would postpone the matter, the harder it would get so he just sended his luggage to the suite he made a reservation for and took a taxi to the hospital. When he arrived, he realized he didn't know which room they were in so he texted Heechul again, impatiently waiting in the main hall. He looked around and saw a few reporters sitting in the corner, which didn't exactly surprised him. He actually thought, the place would be crowded by them. It was still the hospital, though and Lee So Man could sometimes do things, he thought are impossible. He was sure, this was his work again. He had to somehow persuade them to let them be. He was grateful, that they haven't recognized him. His appereance changed a little lately and they were busy discussing something so they didn't pay closer atttention to him. He sighed and hide behind a wall, away from their line of sight. He kept looking around, expecting some familiar face to show up. Someone could go to a cafeteria to get a drink or a snack or someone could just go to a toilet or get a coffee from a machine close to him. His hands, started to shake. He could feel, they were close and he was getting more and more afraid of meeting them. His phone vibrated and he glanced at the screen, the number was written there followed by a cute and lovely emoticon. He chuckled. Heechul always knew how to make him feel better. He hadn't seem him in such a long time. Suddenly the steps he started to take towards their room were much lighter.

 

 

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MEANWHILE SIWON

 

 

Siwon was resting. He felt tired, but since he slept for such a long time, he couldn't fall asleep again. Suddenly, his door bursted open and everyone rushed in. The members were smiling and laughing and talking over each other so it was hard to understand them. Siwon felt happy. It was nice to have people who cared about you. He noticed Donghae came a little later and was standing as far away from him as possible. His good mood was immediately destroyed and he felt a piercing pain in his heart. He remembered what Donghae told him before he collapsed but he somehow hoped, that during the time he was unconscious, he would forgive him. Since it seemed, that Yesung didn't blame him at all, he gained hope, that maybe the rest of the members would feel the same. It was foolish. He couldn't forgive himself, so why should they? How could he expect such a ridiculous thing to happen? He tried not to cry so he quickly looked away from Hae and searched for Yesung in the crowd. He couldn't explain why, but Yesung always had that calming effect on him. No matter how upset, agited or scared he was, once his eyes met with his hyung's, he felt warm, loved and protected.

 

They were with him for a few minutes and he repeated over and over again, that he felt fine and they should stop worrying. Having so many people in the room and their unstoppable chatter was slowly giving him a headache so he was grateful when a nurse came and told them, they had to leave, because the patient needed silence and rest. He wanted to be with them and missed them as soon as they left, but he was still not up to long conversations. He was never in more pain than now and it was getting harder to hide it. He knew, the doctors reduced the dosage of drugs they gave him and as they were slowly wearing off, the pain was becoming more intense.

 

 

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MEANWHILE HEECHUL AND EUNHYUK

 

 

Heechul wanted to go and see Siwon as well, but he couldn't move properly yet so he just straighten himself into a sitting position on bed, annoyed and frustrated.

 

"I want to see him, too." He said and Eunhyuk chuckled next to him.

"Yeah, me too."

"This is so unfair. Why can't they just move me with the bed as well. It couldn't be that hard... it's not like it would kill them..." He kept complaining.

"Ah, you are such a kid sometimes, hyung." 

"Shut up, I'm cute when I'm sulking."

Eunhyuk just laughed but he couldn't argue with that. Heechul was indeed cute. He also worried about Siwon a lot, but he was more matured and he accepted things as they were. He looked at his unmoving legs and felt a pressure on his chest. He tried to act optimistic and carefree but it actually bothered him a lot. They still hurt a lot but he was grateful they did. The pain was so much better than not feeling anything. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

 

He wanted to talk to Donghae. He promised himself he would before the accident happened. Something bothered Fishy before and something was till bothering him very much. Now, that he was paying attention, he could see all the signs.  He didn't know if it was the same thing or something different, but he needed to figure out what was happening to him. Donghae might prefer Heechul's company right now, but they were still friends and he just needed to know. It was painful to watch Hae sticking to Heechul as if he was the last thing keeping him from drowing in despair. He tried to think about what could be the source of Hae's depression but he couldn't come up with anything. His mind was blank and he was getting more and more frustrated with himself. He couldn't even come up with a plan how to talk to him alone. Now, the members were always here and Heechul even shared the room with him and he couldn't exactly stand up and go talk to him in the corridor or something... He sighed again. 

 

Heechul stayed quiet after his short outburst and looked at Eunhyuk. It seemed, he was thinking about something very hard. They were never very close. They got along well and they were still members, who took care of each other and got each other back, but they didn't know a lot about each other. They didn't spend much time together outside of the work and Heechul couldn't even remember a time when it would be only two of them doing something together. Maybe this was an opportunity for them to strenghten their relationship. He decided, he should try to talk to Eunhyuk more.

 

Soon, the members returned, all very happy they could see Siwon but a little upset, they had to leave so soon. They were happily chattering together when Heechul's phone vibrated. He knew, who it was before he even read the message and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He was really here. He was going to see him soon and he was suddenly very self-conscious. It's been a while since their last meeting and he realized with a horror, that his hair were probably messy, he was wearing a stupid hospital grow and in the last few days he didn't pay much attention to his skin. He was in the hospital afterall. Before he could freak out about his appearance, he realized, that the members still had no idea he was coming. He decided, it would probably be too much of a shock for them if he suddenly just walked in the room so he took a deep breath and said.

 

"Uhm... guys. I called Hangeng and ehm... He is here." Well, he was never good with sugar-coating things.

 

Silence. All the laughing and chattering died down and members were looking at him as if he was mentally ill or something. 

 

"You are kidding right." Said Leeteuk.

 

"No. He is really here. Actually, I believe he will soon come through that door. I'm sorry, I haven't told you sooner, but I was a little pre-occupied with the surgery and all... Look, I know you are all probably a little upset, maybe even angry, but we started this together. And I want him here... no... I... I need him here."

 

Before the members could gather their thoughts and came into a full understanding what this meant, there was a knock on the door and everyone looked at them with horror as if it was Death itself knocking. They were not prepared for this, they didn't know how to react to it. It was all so sudden and after everything, they went through recently, they felt like they were on an emotional rollar coaster. However, the knock was heard and couldn't be ignored anymore so Leeteuk as the leader stepped forward and opened the door, letting the person standing outside in.

 

 

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To be continued