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BACK TO THE WAITING ROOM

Leeteuk and Kyuhyun were both sitting, deep in thought. Neither of them has said anything. What was there to say, anyway? Now, they finally understood how desperate the members felt when they were the ones who were hurt. Eunhyuk was with them back then, too. He was also slightly hurt, but compared to Kyu, his injuries were minor. However this time, he wasn´t so lucky.
 
They couldn´t stop thinking about what the doctor said. If he really wouldn´t be able to use his legs properly, how they would deal with it? Moreover, how would the company react? Hyukkie was the main dancer in the group and if he wouldn't be able to perform anymore, would the company let him stay in the group? SM Entertainment wasn’t actually a bad agency,but it certainly wasn’t the best one either. They cared far too much about the profits and how much money they earned. Leeteuk was the eldest and he was a trainee for quite some time as well. He knew how things really went behind the curtains. There were many things he hadn’t shared with the members for the sake of protecting them.
 
So he knew that the only reason Hyukkie was part of Super Junior was thanks to his outstanding dancing abilities. If he couldn’t continue to do that... He didn´t want to think about it. Hyukkie was such a sweatheart. All the members loved him and he could always make them laugh. And what would happen to Hae? One would have to be blind not to see how close those two were and how dependant on each other they were.
 
He sighed deeply. The situation now didn´t look good, but Eunhyuk was at least out of danger of loosing his life. Siwon was still fighting for his. Leeteuk felt moisture building behind his eyes. Why was it always them, that had to suffer this much? They´ve already went through the fear of losing one of the members, when the doctor said Kyu won´t make it. Even though, it´s been years, it felt as if it happen only yesterday. And now Siwon too...
 
Kyuhyun, who was sitting next to their leader, could see how he was loosing the battle within himself. Leeteuk had a very delicate heart and was one of the most emotional members. He was easily touched, so Kyu new, that sooner or later he would break. He also felt sad and lost, but he couldn´t do anything when they had their car accident all those years back. The members worried about him, his dad protected his dreams, but he was unconscious or highly medicated most of the time. Now, he could repay them for their kindness and care back then. He might felt like crying himself, but he decided to stay strong and be the one who would support the others. He might fall apart afterwards, but now he would be there for them. He gently put a hand on Leeteuk´s shoulder and squeezed. 
 
"It´s gonna be okay, don´t worry." He whispered softly.
 
Leeteuk smiled gratefully, the tears still in his eyes. He patted kyuhyun’s knee.
 
"Thank you."
 
Their conversation was interrupted when the rest of the members arrived. They were all on variety show so they didn´t hear the news until the filming ended. All of them looked exhausted and dead worried. Leeteuk abruptly stood up, not wanting to be bombarded with questions. His voice trembled from time to time, but Kyu stood beside him, his hand on his shoulder in an act of support. Ryeowook and Sungmin burst into tears, while Shindong silently pulled them in for a hug.

Suddenly Sungmin suprised everyone with his question.
"Where is Yesung?" 
 
Both Leeteuk and Kyu were left speechless. They haven’t noticed his absence. They were so worried about the injured members, they stopped paying attention to everything else. 
 
 

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MEANWHILE, YESUNG

Yesung was sitting on the toilet in the restroom. He was sobbing and no matter how hard he tried to compose himself, he couldn´t. It was nearly an impossible task. He was always the weird one. He never really knew how to express himself properly and his low self esteem made him into a socially awkward person, who refused to interact with others.
 
The first time he saw Siwon, the man was glowing. He had never felt like that before. The more time he got to spend with him, the more he loved him. He was older than Siwon, but he admired the younger male for so many reasons.
 
Yesung was also christian and even though he has never hidden this fact, he was also not exactly open about it. Christianity was gaining popularity in Korea, but there were still people who didn´t want to accept that. He was often teased in school for his beliefs so when he met Siwon he was suprised by how much Siwon always mentioned God. He truly was a Soldier of Light. He even sang religious songs during their concerts! Yesung has never felt more moved than when he watched Siwon singing his heart out. He brought peace and love of God to thousands of fans. Yesung was always silently watching from the back and he was awed by how well audience reacted to Siwon singing such songs. Siwon was also a first member of the group who had shown interest in him. Maybe not in the romantic way, as Yesung had hoped for, but it was better than the reactions he received from the other members. Their future as a group was uncertain and since there were so many members, it had been difficult to get to know everybody in such a short time. Whenever they were together, it was usually only for practice.
 
So, there was really almost no time for them to talk witch each other. Yet, some immediately got along. For example, Hyukkie and Hae had befriended each other immediately. Yesung was jealous of how easily some of them could converse with each other while he remained shy and reserved. He realized that he must have seemed hard to approach and his behavior was weird….. but there was nothing he could do about it. It was simply his personality. It was him.
 
Siwon never seemed to mind though. After some time, when they all knew each other better, he with his philtrum habit, but Yesung knew that Siwon didn´t really mind. He loved skinship. Yesung would forever be grateful of how much has the younger male took care of him in the beginning. Siwon had always made sure he was included in the conversations. Yesung actually despised him a little for it. If only Siwon didn´t pay attention to him, it would be easier to deal with his one sided love. Who knows? He might be even able to move on and find someone else. But every time he thought about giving up, Siwon would do something so nice for him, that Yesung couldn´t bring himself to really let go. For instance, when he came to cheer him on during his performances. He would never forget the distinctive deep voice that rose above all the fans chants shout out his real name. Or when he took care of him after that accident in the club. Or how he always called or texted to check on him. So many memories.... So many precious moments. 
 
Yesung sobbed even harder. Without Siwon, he wouldn´t be where he was right now. He couldn´t imagine his life without him. He was his light, his strength, he was simply his everything. He might be hurt most of the time, since his feelings were not returned, but having him by his side, if only even as a friend was enough. Yesung always prayed for Siwon to return his feelings, but right now, he only wished for him to survive. He promised, he would never again ask for more, that he would be grateful for what he had, just please... Yesung prayed and prayed for God to save his savior. Having his one sided love was still better than not having him at all. He didn´t know how long he has been crying and he didn´t care. He couldn´t loose him. Not him. He really couldn´t live without him.
 
He was hugging himself in order to stop shaking and calm down. He knew the others would soon notice his absence and they would start to worry. Plus there might be an update on Siwon´s condition. He slowly made his way towards the sink and started to wash his face. His eyes were red and puffy, but he hoped the members would understand. He braced himself for what was coming and started to walk back to the waiting room.
 
 

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HEECHUL IN THE MILITARY

When Heechul heard the news, he immediately asked for the permission to go visit them but he was refused. Being THE Kim Heechul, he of course threw a fit. He argued and screamed and even threatened the people in charge, but they all knew him by now so they didn´t take his actions seriously. If anyone else had done that though, they would be most likely severely punished for such disobedience and lack of proper behavior. Heechul was an exception. He might appear rude and weird in the beginning, but he would grow on you. Even military officers have all fallen for his charms. But, the rules were the rules. They couldn´t let him go just because the other members were hurt.
 
 
After Heechul returned to his room, he realized, that he really wouldn't be able to go see them like this. Despite public belief and his looks, he was actually quite intelligent. They were having a practice in a few minutes and he thought out the plan how to escape his duty.
 
 
He went to the stadium earlier than others and messed with the equipment a little bit. However, no plans ever go as we want them to. Once the practice started, Heechul was supposed to climb the obstacle but due to his previous conduct, the obstacle wouldn´t hold his weight and he would fall down and injure himself. It was a good plan, really. Too bad, Heechul didn´t predict, that once he falls down he would knock the obstacle no.2, which would fall on him. It has landed on his previously injured leg and damn, that hurt. His last thought before loosing consciousness was, that at least he would surely make it to the hospital.
 
 

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EUNHYUK´S ROOM

DongHae was soundly sleeping, his body tightly pressed against Hyukkie.
He was dreaming.

In his dream, he was having a dinner with Hyukkie. They were both happily chatting about everything and nothing in particular. Hyukkie was adorable eating the strawberry pudding and Hae couldn´t take his eyes off of him. He wasn´t sure what made him say it, maybe it was the sun, that was slowly disappearing behind the horizont or the relaxing music playing in the background or maybe it was everything. The atmosphere, the tasty wine, Eunhyuk´s happy smile... He knew, that they had an silent agreement on not talking about what´s really between them, but right now, he just had to say it. It was an automatic reaction, that he couldn´t control. So he just gently took Hyukkie´s hand and looked straight into his eyes.
"I love you."
It wasn´t really the first time he said it, but it was the first time he said it seriously. When they weren´t joking or teasing each other. This time he meant it.
"I am in love with you."
He expected Hyukkie to smile at him and say something like "I know, I love you, too" or maybe even hug and kiss him. He didn´t expect Eunhyuk to frown and get upset.
"Hae, we´ve already talked about this."
"We have?" Donghae was confused.
"Yes and I am tired of you not accepting, that I will never return your feelings. I´ve already told you, I love Siwon. You know I am with him and yet, you come and confess again. I am really touched, that you have such strong feelings for me but I think it would be better if we didn´t see each other for some time. I have hoped that we could be friends, but apparently it´s not possible. I can´t take it anymore. You coming to me, saying how much you love me. Do you think it´s easy for me to refuse you every single time? Do you think I enjoy hurting you? Our friendship is important to me, but if I have to choose, I will always choose Siwon.
Don´t you get it? I am not going to break up with him and suddenly fall for you. So stop this. I am going to give you some space and time and when you get over it, we can try to be friends again, but I can´t promise you anything. It all depends on you. I am leaving tonight with Siwon, anyway. We are going to live in China for a few months, so I hope, that when I return you won´t be acting like this anymore."
 
 
Donghae was dumbfounded. What? Eunhyuk and Siwon were together? Since when? And Hyukkie was leaving? No... That can´t be... He can´t... Hae´s world turn black, his breathing became difficult and when he spoke, his voice trembled.
 
 
"Please, don´t leave me."
He begged, but Hyukkie just looked at him with such a pity in his eyes, that it broke Hae´s heart. 
"I´m sorry." 
 
He then turned and left, leaving Donghae alone with his world falling apart. Hae couldn´t understand anything. It was all so surreal. He fall to his knees and started to cry.
 
"No, no, no... please no..."
 
 
Eunhyuk slowly opened his eyes. At first, he wasn´t sure what woke him up, but then he felt a trembling body near him and he heard Hae´s desperate murmuring.
 
"No, no no... please no..." It seemed, that Hae was having a nightmare. He gently shook him, trying to wake him up. Hae was startled awake. It took him a few moments to realize it was all just a dream and he was still in the hospital. 
 
"Hey, are you alright?" Hyukkie asked. 
 
Donghae, the king of tears, just started to cry again and hugged Eunhyuk. He was glad, it wasn´t real, but he still felt insecure and he needed the comfort only one person in the world could provide. Eunhyuk returned the hug and draw soothing circles on Hae´s back. 
"It´s okay. It was all just a dream. You are fine, now." He cooed.
 
 

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THE OPERATING ROOM, SIWON

The doctors were trying very hard to save the young male’s life. His insides were a mess. His fractured ribs hadn’t pierced either of his lungs but they did cause a diaphragmatic hernia. His internal organs were also severely damaged and he was bleeding heavily. His body also seemed to be under a lot of stress recently so he didn´t have strenght to fight the injuries. He developed a fever and the doctors were worried about the outcome. They were frantically repairing the damaged tissue, their main concern was to stop the bleeding. Despite their efforts, the heartbeat of the young idol was getting slower and slower with each passing second...
 

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To be continued