16

Heavy bags rested under the boys’ eyes, hastily concealed with a smear of concealer and powder. Sweat ran down their faces, smudging their eyeliner, and their breaths were fast and shallow from the adrenaline from performing. My ears were still ringing from the loud shrieks of the fans and white spots resembling the BTS lightsticks danced in my vision.

“How do you not lose your hearing?” I mumbled as I handed Hoseok some water and dabbed the sweat lining his forehead with a towel.

“You can’t prevent it,” Hoseok grinned, chest heaving as he gulped some water. “Why do you think we’re yelling at each other all the time?” I laughed and ushered him back to the other members who were already heading back to the stage for the award ceremony.

“Good luck, go win first place,” I cheered, slapping his hand as he headed out. Hoseok laughed and ran after the others, who were laughing and roughing around with each other as they walked out.

“They really are like brothers aren’t they?” a stylist commented as she stood by me with a makeup brush in her hand. A soft smile stretched across my face as I saw Taehyung and Jungkook laughing together and Jimin trying to interfere with their fun. “Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi practically raised Jungkook. It’s been almost four years. Jungkook was only fifteen.”

“They’d do anything for each other,” I smiled, turning to look at the television in the dressing room while cleaning the makeup brushes and packing the stage outfits. The two emcees were reading out the week’s song nominations and I grinned when ‘Fire’ was among them.

“And this week’s winner is, BTS!” the emcees announced, handing Namjoon the clear crystal-like trophy. The fans’ screams nearly drowned out ‘Fire’ playing over the speakers as the boys performed their encore stage, messing around and throwing water at each other. Another round of towels and water bottles were passed to them as soon as they stepped off stage, the stylists rushing them back to waiting room to clear off their makeup. Gathering everything into black duffle bags, the staff loaded the the equipment into the vans while the security guards struggled to forge a path through the fans for the boys to walk through.

“Tired?” I smiled as I squeezed into the last seat next to Jungkook and handing him a snack bar.

“A little,” he smiled, taking the bar and ripping the cellophane open. “Thank god it’s our last event for today. I almost slept through the radio interview earlier.” He sighed and leaned his head onto my shoulder, rubbing his eyes with one hand and taking out his phone with the other. I frowned in confusion when he opened the camera.

“Why are you taking pictures?” I asked, my eye twitching when I saw the small fracture running down the side of his screen.

“I promised that I would send you pictures of me. Smile!” he grinned holding the phone up and taking a picture of us. Pulling the picture up, he giggled when he saw my confused expression as I stared down at him. “Cute.”

“You never said I had to be in the picture,” I frowned reaching for his phone. Before I could hit the delete button, he snatched it away from me.

“I think I’m going to barf,” Taehyung interrupted, reaching over from the seat behind us and forcing us apart. “At first it was cute, but know you’re just rubbing in our faces that you have a girlfriend.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook whined, pushing Taehyung’s head away and glaring Hoseok and Namjoon who were trying, and failing, to hide their laughter behind their hands. “It’s not my fault that you guys are ugly!”

“Yah, you brat,” Jimin piped in, lifting his eyes from his phone momentarily, before furiously typing on his keyboard. “I won’t be girlfriend-less much longer so just you wait.”

“Are you asking out Hannah?” Hoseok shrieked, bouncing in his seat. “It’s about time! We were getting sick of the moon eyes you got whenever you saw her.”

“I did not get moon eyes,” Jimin gasped, furrowing his eyebrows while still texting someone. “It’s called appreciating beauty.” Everyone snorted simultaneously.

“Stop interrupting me,” Jungkook huffed, scooting closer to me. “Get your own girlfriend if you’re that jealous.”

“Does PD-nim know about this?” Mr. Choi said from the driver’s seat, causing everyone to freeze in horror.

That’s it. We’re done. It’s over. I can’t believe we forgot.

“N-No?” Jungkook began apprehensively, clutching my hand in a tight grip. Mr. Choi sighed and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“I won’t tell him for now, but if the fans find out, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble,” Mr. Choi said and everyone breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Be very careful. There are a lot of sasaengs.”

“Thanks hyung,” Jungkook said, a bright smile lighting up his face. “I’ll make sure to be very careful.”

The rest of the ride passed with aimless chatter and a slew of pictures that Jungkook spammed my phone with. I snickered as I drew a mustache and beard onto his face, adding in an eye patch and a few black teeth. “Look Jungkook, it looks exactly like you,” I laughed, holding up the phone. Jungkook pouted as I made it my lockscreen.

“You should have at least given me a parrot,” Jungkook said. “You’re going to be my lock screen too, so smile.” I wrinkled my nose and scrunched my eyes, thinking that he wouldn’t take a picture, but my face immediately fell when I heard the click.

“Jungkook!” I shouted, trying to grab the phone, but he held it out of reach above my head. “I look ugly!”

“No, you look cute,” Jungkook grinned, setting it as his lockscreen. I heard a gagging sound and turned back, only to find Yoongi whistling aimlessly and looking out the window.

“The first concert of the tour is tomorrow,” Mr. Choi announced as he pulled up to the apartment complex. “You guys have rehearsal early tomorrow morning so rest up.”

“Yes hyung,” the boys chorused as they pulled masks onto their faces and hopping out of the van, one by one and hiding their faces from the few lingering suspicious fans pacing around.

“Have any fans ever found your dorm?” I asked Seokjin as we slunk out of the van.

“Not yet, but there have been some dangerously close calls,” Seokjin said with a pained expression. “One fan even made it to the hall, but she didn’t know which one was our dorm.”

“How did she get in?” I asked as the security guard gave us a curt nod. “Security seems pretty tight.”

“Apparently, she knew someone that lived on the first floor but since we lived on the top,” she didn’t know for sure exactly where we lived,” Seokjin said. “I love our fans, I really do, but I just don’t understand how someone can be so extreme. We’ve already expressed that it made us uncomfortable.”

“I also don’t understand why fans get so upset when idols date,” I said, pushing the elevator buttons. “Some of them are almost thirty, I think they deserve a little love.” Seokjin laughed and ruffled my hair.

“That’s not what’s important to the company,” Seokjin sighed, stepping out when the elevator opened. I frowned and followed after him, skipping a few steps to catch up to him on the stairs. “Once we start dating, we become less marketable. The majority of our fan bases are of the opposite gender so naturally, if we’re single, we’re more marketable. Plus, there’s always those fans that think that they’re going to marry their idols.”

“My thinking is that if you really love and support your idol, you should be happy if they are happy and if that involves dating, then so be it,” I said, laboring up the last few steps and waiting for Seokjin to catch up.

“I agree, but there’s really nothing we can do,” Seokjin said. “That’s why it’s so important that no one finds out that you guys are dating.”

I sighed and pushed open the door to find Yoongi and Jimin collapsed on the couch, eyes barely open as they channel surfed. “We were the last ones. Where are the others?” I asked, slipping off my shoes.

“They’re all collapsed in their rooms. You can go wake Sleeping Beauty with a kiss if you want,” Jimin muttered softly, hugging a cushion to his chest and closing his eyes. “It’s already late. Are you going to head home Michelle?”

“Yeah, let me just grab a few things I left here,” I said, stepping past Jimin’s outstretched legs to grab the backpack that lay on the ground. “I’ll leave soon, promise.”

“Stay as long as you want,” Jimin waved sleepily. “This is practically your place too.” Laughing, I headed down the hall and peeked into Jungkook and Namjoon’s shared room. Jungkook was sitting alone on his bed, scrolling through his phone in the dark. The light of screen cast a ghostly blue glow onto his features as he looked up.

“Where’s Joonie?” I asked as I sat down next to him and gently rubbed his shoulders.

“He crashed in Seokjin-hyung’s room,” Jungkook mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning his head against my shoulder. “Can you stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” I ruffled his hair gently, twirling it around my fingers and smoothing it down.

“You know I really like you right?” he mumbled shifting and burying his face into the crook my neck, breath fanning across my collarbones. “You’re too good for me.”

“Don’t be silly,” I chastised, poking his cheek. “You’re not allowed to say that when you’re literally perfect. I should be saying that instead of you.” He whined in disagreement and shook his head, eyes still shut and drooping. A few minutes of silence passed as I continued to play with Jungkook’s hair and soon enough, his breaths were deep and even, barely stirring when I shifted him off my shoulder and onto the pillow. Pulling the covers up, I pressed my lips softly against his forehead and exited the room, closing the door softly behind me. Jimin and Yoongi were fast asleep on the couch, curled into each other. Seokjin was just turning off the television and he smiled tiredly when I walked into the living room.

“Do you want a ride?” Seokjin asked, putting on his shoes again. I shook my head and stopped him.

“It’s fine,” I waved, slipping on my shoes. “I can take the bus.” Before Seokjin could reply, I was already out the door and heading down to the lobby. The balmy almost-summer breeze ruffled my hair as I rushed to the bus stop. I was already sighing by the time I caught myself.

They’re leaving in two days. The Seoul Concert is tomorrow and then it’s Taiwan.

The first thing I saw when I walked through the door was Ashley lying on the couch, buying BTS concert tickets on her laptop. I frowned when only silence met me instead of the usual barrage of snide comments. “Did you say something?” I asked warily, wondering if I just didn’t hear her.

“Why would I have something to say to you?” Ashley said, eyes barely skimming over me before swiveling back to the screen, uncharacteristically quiet.

What’s gotten into her?

“Are you going to the concert with Alex?” I asked, not sure why I continued the conversation. Ashley didn’t reply and rolled her eyes as she filled out the credit card information and printed out the tickets.

“Why do you care?” Ashley scoffed, slamming her laptop shut. “They’re too good for you anyway.” I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering why she phrased her words that way. Shaking my head, I made my way down to the basement, shutting the door softly behind me. The slight vibrations of my phone made me blink as I pulled it out. I snickered at the contact name, a satisfied smile on my face.

Did he wake up after I left?

From: Kookie Pookie
Are you coming to the concert tomorrow?

To: Kookie Pookie
I thought you fell asleep. Should I? I’ll just be stuck backstage if I do come.

From: Kookie Pookie
I woke up because you weren’t there anymore. I want to your face before we leave and the more time the better. I can sneak out during the breaks.

To: Kookie Pookie
Don’t be such a rebel. I’ll come.

From: Kookie Pookie
Thanks Michelle, you’re the greatest. I still need to come up with a nickname for you. It’s been more than a month and I still don’t have one.

To: Kookie Pookie
Good luck. Go to sleep, it’s getting late.

From: Kookie Pookie
Night babe.

To: Kookie Pookie
You’re so cheesy. Night Jungkookie.

I returned the phone back to lockscreen and smiled at a selfie of Jungkook with his nose scrunched up and eyes screwed shut.

Maybe I should go on tour with them.

***

The day went off without a hitch, nothing unusual. The same old glares and snide remarks from Ashley, the same shoves and bumps from Alex, and the same utter disregard from Mr. and Mrs. Lee. I rolled my eyes when I saw Ashley already piling her countless makeup bags on the coffee table while numerous different pairings of shirts, skirts, and dresses were laid out in a circle around her.

The concert starts in two hours. Why is she getting ready now?

“What are you looking at?” Alex sneered as he walked past, shoving my shoulder to the side as he brought another bundle of clothes to Ashley. “Go clean the toilet or something.” I rolled my eyes headed toward the basement, narrowly dodging another shove from Alex, who stumbled when his shoulder met thin air.

“Can you hurry up?” Ashley squeaked as she scrolled through makeup and hair tutorial videos. “You’re wrinkling my dresses.” Ashley’s voice cut off abruptly when I closed the basement door and sighed, flopping onto my mattress in exasperation.  I picked up my phone to text Jungkook, but paused and put it back down, deciding to leave him alone until the concert.

He must be practicing right now.

Eyeing the sad pile of laundry in the corner and the measly amount of clothes in the closet, I groaned and gathered all the clothes into my arms, lugging them slowly to the laundry room on the other side of the house. I snickered when I saw Ashley trying out her different mascaras, wide open and nose scrunched. Dumping the clothes onto the floor of the laundry room, I began to sort the clothes, checking the pockets and separating the whites. I grimaced at the growing pile of forgotten coins and bills that littered the pockets of my pants. Reaching into the pocket of the pants that I wore yesterday, I pulled out what I thought was another paper bill, but my eyes widened in surprise when I saw what it really was.

Stay away from Jungkook.

The paper crinkled slightly as I clenched my fist, fear suddenly washing over me.

Someone found out. How did they put that in here?

My thoughts immediately flew to one person, but uncertainty overtook my suspicion.

There’s no way she could have known. But what if?

Clutching the little piece of paper tightly in my hands, I searched for Ashley, dodging around Alex and the tubes of mascara and lip gloss that were scattered on the ground.

“Ashley?” I called, apprehension and fear making my hand tremble.

“What do you want?” Ashley groaned, coming out of the bathroom with straightened hair and some shaving cream.

“Did you put this in my pocket?” I whispered, holding the note in front of her, watching her facial expressions carefully. A moment of silence passed and I was biting my lip in nervousness, hoping that she had no idea what I was talking about. My face fell when she smirked and plucked the paper from my hands, smoothing it over with her fingers.

“So you found it,” Ashley sneered, ripping it to shreds and letting the pieces flutter to the ground. “I thought you’d find it after they went on tour to make everything easier.”

“Why are are you telling to stay away? I only work with them,” I said, hoping she was referring to that and not my relationship with Jungkook.

“Stop lying,” Ashley sneered, hatred flooding her eyes as she glared at me. “I know you’re dating Jungkook.”

“W-What are you talking about?” I asked, dread and panic filling my mind as I met Ashley’s eyes as I tried, and failed to hide my panic from her.

“Did you think I wouldn’t hear you talking to Hannah at the party?” Ashley scoffed grabbing a bottle of lotion and throwing it at me. I grimaced when the cap flew open and stained the carpet with lavender scented liquid.

“Even if it was true, no one would believe you,” I argued, backing away from Ashley as she took menacing steps toward me, her hatred driving her forward. She laughed a mirthless barking laughed and tilted her head up to the ceiling in disbelief.

“I’m not a fool Michelle,” Ashley said, pulling her phone of her pocket, simultaneously destroying my last shreds of hope. “You should have been more careful.” There on the screen, crystal clear, was a picture of Jungkook and me outside the music shop, hand in hand with our lips locked together.

I’m sorry Jungkook.

“You followed me, didn’t you?” I asked, voice dropping to a whisper as Jungkook’s smiling face came to mind. “Why?”

“It’s simple,” Ashley smirked, dangling the phone in front of me, laughing when I ignored it and focused on her. “Someone like you shouldn’t be with someone like Jungkook. Who do you think you are? Taking him away from us?”

This must be the type of fan that Seokjin was telling me about.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, my fists clenching tighter and tighter. “I’ll do anything, just don’t show that picture to anyone.”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” Ashley shrugged, studying the picture. My heart raced when her finger hovered over the share button. “Just watch when everything falls apart.” Ashley giggled and was about to brush past me when I stopped her.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, forcing myself to exhale slowly and silently, trying to maintain my breaking facade of calm. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“Because I want to see little-miss-perfect cry,” Ashley said, her smile and tone contradicting her intent.

“Is it because you’re not perfect?” I replied, turning around to face her, my breaths speeding up as anger rose. “It’s because you’re not perfect, and you think I am. So you’re going to take it out on me.”

“What did you say?” Ashley snarled, immediately bristling. “Do you seriously think you’re all that?”

“I’m sick and tired of you treating me like I’m a servant when I have clearly done nothing to you,” I said, unable to control my anger. “If you're treating me like this because you're jealous, then you're worse than I thought.”

Stop it. She can destroy Jungkook with that picture.

“Look, no one wants you here anyway, you should’ve stayed in America or something and gone to your school without causing any more problems for me,” Ashley scoffed, her face turning red in anger.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know doing your laundry and making your food would cause problems for you,” I laughed, my mind fogged over, too angry to think straight. “I know you took my tuition money from my bank account and ironically, if you didn’t, I would have never gotten so close with BTS.”

Before I could react, a stinging sensation spread across my face and my head was whipped to the side. Putting hand to my cheek, I looked at Ashley and laughed. I laughed at the absurdity of the situation, at her pettiness. Before I could stop myself, the words were already coming out of my mouth.

“If anyone deserves to be slapped, it’s you,” I said, giving her an emotionless smile.

Ashley’s eyes widened in anger before she stalked away, keys jingling as she grabbed her purse and slipped on her shoes. The slamming of the door brought me to my sense and my face immediately fell, the dread of realizing what I had done washing over me. My phone started to ring and Hannah’s name flashed as I slowly pulled it up to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Michelle, why is there a picture of you and Jungkook all over the internet?”

I’m so sorry Jungkook.

~

Sorry about the weird formatting. I usually write my stuff on a word processor and copy and past to the website but AFF updated and now I can't get it to my original format. It also wouldn't let me unbold everything so really sorry about that. I decided to speed things up a little bit because they were going so slowly before. Also, sorry about the late updates. I'm trying to keep to a schedule but I just have no motivation lately. I'm still trying though, so please keep up with this story. I promise I'll get somewhere with this. Enjoy.