"Okay Wu, you're stopping this right now. What the hell do you want from me? Spill it." Bona demanded, cornering Xuan Yi against the corner of her office, where the latter had followed her. 

"Stop what? Who said I wanted anything from you?" Xuan Yi's smirk reminded Bona of a fox. A very annoying, abhorrent, detestable, fox. 

"That. You're not dumb, so stop acting like it. You yell at me for no reason back in China, then you come here and tell a completely different story, as if it never happened. Not to mention you've been following me around and actively getting on my nerves the whole day." 

"So I am getting on your nerves." 

Bona tugged on her own hair and let out a loud grunt, turned her back, and sat on her chair, her face fuming red. 

"Also." Xuan Yi raised a finger above her head. "You're leaving out the part in which you gave me a lecture about eating seaweed and improper business conduct or whatever before I even had a chance to speak. I only retaliated." 

Bona crossed her arms and looked away. That might have happened. She lashed out at people when she was nervous or angry. Given that Xiao had disappeared and she was forced to travel to China by herself, without any news of her, she was far beyond unsettled. But she would never admit that to Xuan Yi, and it was unthinkable to apologize for it. 

"So you're making my life hell to get even on such a petty thing?" 

"Yes." Xuan Yi pondered for a bit. "And no." 

"Care to explain?" Bona showed her an inquiring narrow-eyed glare. 

"It's not exactly about revenge. I'm way above being offended. But I guess I wanted to have some fun trying to drive you mad so I could get back at you." Xuan Yi stuck her tongue out and winked. "Believe me, it's so amusing seeing you break that fake character you exhaust yourself to keep on. Kind of cute, shall I say." 

"Fake? Excuse me?! You don't know the first thing about me. Who do you think you are to 'have fun' at my expense?" Bona's face heated, her fists balling against the surface of her desk, supporting her as she shot upright. Her tone and her eyes were razor-sharp, despite her trembling limbs. 

"I might know a thing or two about you." Xuan Yi swayed across the room towards the desk, sitting on top of it, facing Bona through her side. "Let me take a guess." 

"By all means." Bona sneered between clenched teeth. 

"You're much more transparent than you think, Kim Bona. I know a lot of people like you. You act tough, cold, impenetrable, but in fact you're insecure and overly sensitive and that's what you do to protect yourself. You also like to drown yourself in work to avoid facing your problems. Because of that, you don't know healthy ways to deal with your own emotions, which in turn makes you an even angrier person. That's what you're trying to do right now, in fact. I followed you here to talk you out of that crap." 

Xuan Yi was flaunting her knowledge of her inner feelings. It was insulting, humiliating, to have someone she barely knew lay her feelings out loud to her. She had failed at keeping her feelings distant, and she couldn't forgive herself. Bona was so overwhelmed in anger she had to fight back the quivering of her lip. She had to convince Xuan Yi she was wrong and rip that nasty smirk off her face. 

"How dare you? You came here to do business. What gives you the right to stick your nose in my personal life like that?" 

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Xuan Yi sighed loudly. "I'm inappropriate and yada yada business and work. That's a bad excuse people give when they're afraid of connecting with others and somehow think keeping their distance makes them safer. I'm telling you, everyone would be a lot happier if they allowed themselves to open up. Why don't you try it?" 

"But why? Why me? Why are you trying to be my friend? Why are you bothering me? What about all those people like me you said you knew? Go be friends with one of those." Bona leaned forward, having a harder time fighting her tears back when the volume of her voice raised. 

"I'm not sure either." Xuan Yi shrugged. "I guess... you're like many other people in this industry, but at the same time, you're not. Most of them got so caught up in the appearance they want to keep they ended up losing their real selves. But I don't think that's you. There's more to you than that. Besides, if you usually treat people the way you treated me when we first met, you might not have a lot of friends either. Not to brag, but I'm a catch." 

Bona kept still while listening to Xuan Yi, her lips apart and her eyes wide. When she finished, the blonde could not believe herself. She let her body fall back on the chair, tears wildly escaping her eyes. She was crying. In front of a person she barely knew, a person she knew in a professional context, a person whose very presence she dreaded. She had only allowed one other person to see her cry, and that was Cheng Xiao. But again, that was the only other person who had ever seemed to get her, to look past what met the eye, past the mask she put on to everyone else.  

Xuan Yi was right. Every single thing she said was right. She touched all the weak spots in her heart. Bona was even more ticked over being read like that after only two encounters with Xuan Yi. It was way beneath her to be allowed to be seen that way. But now that she had shown herself so vulnerable to her, what was the use of fighting it back?  

"I know someone..." She started, between her sobbing. "Who lost themselves like that. It hurt like hell, and I'm probably doing the same thing. I'm so, so, stupid." 

Xuan Yi gave her a sympathetic smile that bared most of her gums. Bona felt inexplicably at ease, as if for that moment she could forget she was crying and talking about something personal with a near stranger she happened to hate. It was the first time she looked at Xuan Yi – really looked at her – and noticed how beautiful she looked when her own eyes weren't clouded by irrational hatred.  

She let herself be lost in that thought while Xuan Yi dug in her purse for something. She extended a tissue, and then a bag of dried seaweed. 

"It's a peace offering. I don't just share my seaweed with anyone. It will make you feel better." Xuan Yi shot her signature wink. 

Bona's heart pushed against her chest a little bit harder than before. She stared at her and the items in her hands with pursed lips, then snatched them, never breaking eye contact. She had come the tiniest bit closer to not hating her. But it was crucial that she didn't know that just yet. Bona looked away, crossed her arms and took one snack from the bag, earning a wider smile from Xuan Yi. 

"This person you're talking about... Someone close?" 

"You can say that, yes. We're still close. She's making an effort. But there was a point when I felt like she really lost herself... and in turn, I feel like that's where I lost her too. It was never the same after that." 

"We're talking about a breakup, aren't we?" 

Bona's cheeks tingled and she nodded, keeping her eyes on her lap.  

"That's why you act like that? Because you were so hurt by her you don't think it's worth it to treat people decently anymore?" 

"No, I wish." Bona scoffed and sobbed at the same time. "She's the only person I can't do that with, actually. Sometimes I wish I could, because that would be easier. But I owe my bad temper to ty parenting, mostly." 

Xuan Yi nodded and rested her hands on her knees. 

"CEO Cheng... You're still in love with her. You wanted to stay back and overwork yourself because her girlfriend came to pick her up." Xuan Yi said, asserting rather than questioning. 

Bona stopped breathing. If she didn't, she would sob even harder and that would make things even more embarrassing than they already were.  

Thankfully, to get her out of answering that question, her phone rang. She grabbed it from her desk, saw the name in the screen, then she lost control of her body, stood up abruptly, and tossed the device across the room. Xuan Yi jerked in her seat and raised her eyebrows, then dove sideways to get the phone, which had fortunately landed on a leather couch.  

"It's alive!" Xuan Yi held the still ringing phone next to her reluctant smile, which faded away when she turned around and saw Bona shaking aggressively, her face the color of fire, her teeth gritting against each other while her chest rose and feel with shallow, quick gasps for air. Xuan Yi ran to her. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

"That's what's wrong! She's with her. She chose her, not me, and I can't freaking live in peace with it. But for her, because I love her, I have to pretend I'm fine. It's being shoved in my face all the time and I can't handle it even though it barely even started." Bona gripped the fabric of Xuan Yi's jacket on both of her arms and screamed each word louder than the one before, her face a mess of tears, snot, and red spots. "Her girlfriend texted me all day for ideas to surprise her, asking me for help to make it happen, and because I know she will be happy, I cooperated. But not even that was enough because she's calling me again. I gave her ideas I always dreamed I'd make happen for her but I never did. Because I'm terrible, I'm a failure, I couldn't make her happy, and now here I am helping her be happy with someone that's not me." 

Xuan Yi kept a straight face on, while Bona wept loudly, steadying the grip on Xuan Yi's jacket. 

"I'll answer the phone for you. Wasn't she supposed to be with CEO? It's the third time she's calling you already, so maybe it's important." 

Xuan Yi answered the call, each of her words feeling like a musical note. "This is Wu Xuan Yi, answering Kim Bona's phooooone... ...No, she can't answer right now. Would you like to leave a message?... ...Maybe I can try to find her, if it's really important. What is this about?..." Her face changed in less than a second and her tone became grave and serious. "Got it, I'll find her right away."  

She hung up the call and met Bona's eyes. 

"She's in an ambulance. CEO is being taken to the hospital." 

Cheng Xiao opened her eyes to find the same white ceiling she knew from the week before. Only this time around, she wasn't frustrated about the void in her memory. She was frustrated because she knew much more than she wanted to. 

She followed the faint voices she heard with her eyes, to find Eunseo and nurse Luda next to her bed. Noticing she had woken up, Luda joined her hands and grinned, while Eunseo jumped off her seat to hold her hand and caress her forehead. 

"Xiao." Eunseo whispered. 

"Eunseo..." She confirmed, squeezing her partner's hand. Eunseo broke into tears, while Luda sighed in relief. 

"I was so scared you'd forgotten all about me again and I'd lose you... It was my fault, I had no idea. I swear if I had known, I would have never lit up those candles. I only wanted to surprise you. I'm so, so sorry. I keep messing up." Eunseo said, pulling Cheng Xiao's hand to her chest. 

"If you had known what?" Cheng Xiao looked at the ceiling, her voice low and monotonic. 

"That you had a phobia of fire." Eunseo's back stiffened and she collected herself. "Bona is outside. She told me you've been afraid of fire since..." 

"Since my old house burned down." Cheng Xiao swallowed dry. "I remember." 

"You... do?" 

"I wish I didn't. I was so much happier not remembering, Eunseo, I..." Cheng Xiao reached her other hand to Eunseo's, wrapping it around hers. "I don't want the dreams and the visions to come back. I don't want to go to therapy again, I don't want to drown myself in meds and end up losing who I am and becoming that person again. Eunseo, I'm so scared, please help me." She sat up, resting her forehead on her own trembling hands. 

"Xiao, it's going to be okay. The doctors will take care of you. Whatever you have to do will be for the best. I'll always be here making sure you're my Xiao. I promised you that." Eunseo kissed her girlfriend's hand. 

Luda reached out to lay a hand on Eunseo's shoulder. 

"You should go back outside. I need to assess Miss Cheng's status and she needs to be seen by a doctor soon. You can come back later, okay?" 

Eunseo rested her forehead on top of Cheng Xiao's head and whispered to her. "I'll be back soon, yes? I love you." She slowly let go of her hands and walked away, eyes fixed on her. 

When Eunseo closed the door, Luda took over and checked for any physical pain or signs of amnesia. There was nothing to worry about aside from an annoying headache. As for her memories, she knew everything she did before fainting, and now even more.  

"So, Doctor Nam and I have been talking to your friends outside, and we concluded someone else was better fit to see you today. Is that alright?" Cheng Xiao nodded affirmatively, perfectly aware of what the nurse meant. Luda smiled and opened the door for the doctor, who was already waiting outside, while the nurse waved at Cheng Xiao and excused herself out.  

"Cheng Xiao Xiao? Hello." The doctor with a round, hamster-like face and long wavy hair let herself in, wearing a teeth-baring grin. The few words she said were enough for Cheng Xiao to notice her heavy, breathy accent. She was a foreigner. 

"My name is Minatozaki Sana, and I specialize in psychiatry and psychotherapy." The doctor extended Cheng Xiao a hand, which she meekly shook. "I would ask you to tell me about yourself, but having your file here already, I think I'll start by confirming what I have on you, okay?" 

"Yes, go ahead." Cheng Xiao pulled her knees to her chest, bracing herself. She knew from the start a psychiatrist would be walking through that door, and that meant she would have to submit herself to regular therapy again, in the near future. She attempted not to show her discomfort with Doctor Minatozaki's presence. 

"Recently, you were attacked inside your own house, resulting in a head trauma, and you lost all of your memories. But they have been coming back to you slowly and you've been functioning fairly well." 

Cheng Xiao gulped and nodded. 

"You have been on therapy and medication for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder since the day you and your parents were in a ravaging house fire, forcing you to move by yourself, since your parents went missing right after. However, you've been on anxiety medication way before that, and you didn't drop it after the accident, like you did with most of your prescription." 

"Yes."  

"Earlier today, your girlfriend surprised you with a candlelit dinner. And you fainted when you saw the fire. Can you tell me how you felt before you fainted, if you can remember?" 

Cheng Xiao calculated the extent through which she could appear normal and functional, so she could escape her fate. But she knew better than to try to fool an expert in the human mind, and it was cowardly to avoid her problems and let them build up. She had to trust herself and Eunseo's words. 

"There was buzzing sound in my ears... screaming... sirens. My vision started to go blurry and it was as if there was fire all around me. Then I passed out. It was exactly like it used to happen all the time before." 

"Before?" Sana lifted her head from her notepad.  

"Before the... incident." 

"So you haven't been experiencing any of those symptoms since you were attacked?" 

"No. I didn't remember anything about the fire before today, or the therapy, or most of my medication. I wish it had stayed that way." Cheng Xiao's eyebrows drew together and tension built up in her body. 

"That's okay, Xiao Xiao." Doctor Minatozaki extended an arm to rub her shoulder. "Our brain is naturally wired to forget about traumatic experiences. It's only natural you feel that way. That's, in fact, one of the reasons I think you lost your memory in the first place." 

Cheng Xiao quirked an eyebrow at her. 

"What do you mean? I hit my head on a glass cabinet." 

"Yes." Sana rubbed her own nose and sat down. "According to Doctor Nam, though, your injuries were not that serious. These cases can cause amnesia, but you would only forget a short period coincident with the event... not your whole life. The cause is more likely to be psychological trauma, rather than just physical injury, more so since you apparently have such a history." 

"A history? Of losing my memory? Are you saying it happened before?" Cheng Xiao's voice quivered and she look down, as if trying to search her own soul. 

"What your previous therapist registered here was that trauma had you create delusions and altered memories of the event. Despite being informed of the facts, you persistently refused them and accused everyone of lying to you. You became obsessed with 'proving everyone wrong' and displayed altered behavior patterns and personality traits." 

"I know I 'displayed altered behavior' after the fire. I had to go through therapy and heavy medication, aside from having to deal with the absence of my parents and suddenly having to run a company on my own. It was hard on me and I became terrible to myself and everyone else. Now I know why, and I know I'm not that kind of person anymore. But I really don't understand what you mean with altered memories. I remember everything about the fire. The noises, the dark clouds in the air, my parents telling me to run, because they would be safe, the fire was all a plan so they could escape and I shouldn't look for them..." Cheng Xiao choked up on the last words. 

"Yes, Xiao Xiao, exactly." Doctor Minatozaki sighed. "I want to take a chance at telling you the truth once more and see how you react to it. You can only make progress by becoming aware of your past and then accepting it as part of you. By keeping things from you, I'd be working against that. Though, ultimately, the decision is yours. If you don't want to talk about this now, that's fine." 

The decision was hers. The decision to know to which extent were the memories she had just recovered false. It was awkward for her to learn she had made something up and obsessed over it in such a way in the aftermath of trauma. She had vague memories of dealing badly with the numerous consequences of the fire, but accusing people of lying? Hearing about it felt like she was listening to someone else's story, and not hers, just as it always did when she was confronted with her erratic pre-amnesia self.    

Yet, she had promised herself and her loved ones she would work hard to come to terms with her past, and she was going to be strong and unafraid. Even if it hurt to hear it at first, she would keep in mind the person she'd become so far.

Cheng Xiao took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then nodded. 

"Truth is... the firemen pulled you out of the house, but right after they did, there was an explosion. Your parents didn't go missing. They died in that fire."

---

A/N: I took so long again because I went on another spiral of obsessive self-editing, and I'm still not satisfied with it :( I hope I got everything I wanted with this chapter across and that it cleared up some things. Most of you probably knew here parents were dead, though, since I really made no effort to hide it. xD So, I hope everything makes sense.

About MeiQi and Yeonjung: I have clearly thought out plans for them, so please look forward to it!

Thank you for your support :)