On-screen personalities

Dony and Cony both stood in the middle of white, wearing their typical colorful T-Shirts, staring into the camera.

“This week’s idol!“, Dony started to cheer loudly and Cony joined him, both posing kind of a dab move, before the host went on explaining who would be on the program for the day. “Today we have someone very special here - the younger siblings of Korea’s current favorite BTS and their sister group Arora. Let’s get to know about their youngest sibling group and see what charms they’re able to show us : Black Dragon!“

The captions over Dony and Cony introduced Black Dragon as the ‚Mighty Rookie - Hip Hop Production: Black Dragon‘. Hero was instantly playing in the background and the seven members beamed into the camera, clapping and rushing into the studio. They all bowed while passing by the two MCs and then photos of the members with their stage names below the pictures were shown immediately. King Koo, Bangwon, Han, Jaekwang, Jongin, Toby and Ace.

In a neat line all of the members were standing, one of them counting. “Two, three!“

“We’re here to steal your treasure - We’re Black Dragon!“, the boys introduced themselves in a choir, first forming a triangle with their hands, then turning them around as if they were forming a dragon with their hands with its wings moving, before they put their hands back down and then bowed. The two MCs started laughing and imitating the members, the boys all clapping until the two older men decided to finally talk to the guys.

“You’re here because of your overly successful seniors, BTS, and your sister-group, Arora, right after debuting. And you dropped the song ‚Hero’. I think none of us noticed that song, right?“, Cony said and Dony laughed immediately, the Black Dragon members either laughing in a mixture of amusement and embarrassment or acting like the big, bulky one who covered his eyes while halfway turning around. “No, really! I was very surprised when I heard that you already dropped your song! The announcement of your group’s debut was super huge and then I didn’t come across your music show performances just once.“

Dony quickly took over, talking about the second song they released. “But your second song! Yeah, that one we didn’t notice either. You guys produced two songs still and even performed both of them! That’s very impressive! We also heard that you guys create everything on your own. Explain something about your concept.“

“Our concept is to produce everything on our own, from the songs to the choreographies, even make-up, we do it all on our own.“ The camera showed a close-up of the member who talked first, his name-tag revealing him as Jongin to the audience.

“So even now your make-up was all done by yourselves?“, Dony  asked and next to the tall, very slim member, the others were pushing him a little forwards.

“Yes, our Jaekwang here is a very skilled make-up artist.“, the member with flaming red hair explained and smiled brightly as he patted Jaekwang’s shoulder with much pride. His name-tag dubbed him as Toby.

“So maybe that’s why he looks like a girl!“, Cony exclaimed and the music in the background was the typical Weekly idol comedy music. The Black Dragon members all started laughing, except for Jaekwang who started to blush immediately. Toby next to him laughed loudly but still dragged his co-member closer to himself to pull Jaekwang‘s head towards his shoulder and patted him.

“What about your name, what does Black Dragon mean?“, Dony wanted to now and the smallest of the members immediately answered.

“I wanted a different name. PMS would have been cool. Now it’s Black Dragon. Strong creature that flies high.“, he said and the others looked at him with rounded eyes as he didn’t explain the meaning behind the PMS and left the audience and also the MCs in wonder what exactly he was talking about. Ace’s face was therefore surrounded by a bunch bunch of question mark captions.

The MCs both frowned shortly but Dony quickly tried to get the stone rolling again and avoided the sudden awkwardness. “Your senior groups all have members with very interesting stage names. RapMonster, Suga, J-Hope, C-Rin, Noah, Himawari. You guys have some interesting names, too. Like you, King Koo… that’s almost as weird as RapMonster.“ The bulky one grinned widely, his face tone changing to a deep shade of red. “And your names are Ace and Toby? Who came up with those names, really?“

Toby shortly cleared his throat and grinned widely. “Actually Toby is my real name. My western name.“

Dony and Cony both made “U-huh.“ faces. “Oh right, you’re not Korean.“

“I am.“, Toby corrected them immediately, laughing. “But my dad is German, so I also have a German name which is Tobias.“

As if he had dared the MCs to say his name, the two men started trying to pronounce his name correctly for a while but failed big time. At least it was fun to watch.

“Tell us something about your songs! What are they about? Who wrote them?“, Cony went on with the interview and the two responsible ones started talking immediately.

“Hero is a song about protecting the girl you like even though everyone else wants her, too. It’s about Black Dragon being the one to protect the princess.“, red-haired Toby was back on to talk about the song, speaking to the MCs with passion and happiness basically overflowing in the width of his smile.

The second member, whose name-tag had ‚Bangwon‘ written on it, was first grinning into the camera, then also smiling brightly at the two MCs as he explained the second song. “Our second song is about a break-up and how you want revenge and show the ex that you’re doing fine and that you’re able to move on and even mock her. It’s not as serious as our first track, but it’s definitely more fun.“

“One song is about you promising protection, while the other one is about roasting the girl? So, you’re basically two-faced and lie to girls!“, Dony exclaimed all scandalized. In the background of the show laughter was blended into the scene.

The boys all stood there with their hands folded in front of their bellies, some of them laughing, some of them looking irritatedly into the camera. The member who had talked first during the show however snorted and shook his head. “We’re not about shallow love songs, we offer diversity. If you feel like needing protection, we’ll be there. If you need a song to rant about your annoying ex, we’ll be there as much.“, he scoffed, sounding a little offended.

Neither Dony nor Cony wanted to dive deeper into a possible argument with said member and therefore Cony demanded for a short sample.

“You guys produced your songs on your own, right? Then you should be able to present us some samples.“

All of the members were suddenly staring at the one with the snapback cap on who took a second to even realize that everyone had started staring at him. “Wait… what…me?“, he asked and the bulky one next to him nudged him shortly. Snapback boy sighed shortly but then started to sing the first line of the chorus. The MCs didn’t look impressed, nevertheless and the edits in the picture where translating their faces as exactly that ‚not impressed‘.

“You totally sound like a solo singer, shouldn’t the others somehow back you up?“, Cony complained and the boys exchanged quick glances before one of them counted and snapback boy was once again singing the chorus… but with the others backing him up with acapella sound effects. While one half of the group was very obviously enjoying the acapella version, the other half was embarrassedly joining them, Bangwon even trying to turn away from the camera and the prettiest of them staring at the ground in front of them.

Dony and Cony were both cackling, yet later  had still things to complain about. “Bangwon, you barely did anything!“

“Nooo, I did this!“, Bangwon contradicted, moved his hands like pistols and weakly sang some “Dududu“ sounds.

“If the song sounds like this… how does the dance look like?“, Dony wanted to know and the leader and the pretty one were asked to dance a little while the others were going on with their acapella singing.

The scenes shifted and what Black Dragon was supposed to do next was the famous Random Play Dance.

“You guys are rookies but you already have plenty of songs, as we heard! Of course, you’ll have to prove to us that you can dance what you came up with on your own! If you manage to finish the game without failing… what food would you like to eat?“, the MCs asked them and the group is very soon sure of what to eat.

“Pizza.“, King Koo answered and all of them looked overly determined.

After the acapella performance the boys had presented, everyone was expecting some super funny cuts to follow. But Black Dragon’s Random Play Dance was more than just boring as they were excelling in it. None of them seemed to be off for just once and even when between all the Hero and Don’t Tease Me snippets some fragments of their Fashion Week performance were playing, the boys still managed to dance without making (visible) mistakes. The smallest of them was even the most outstanding as he was proudly showing off how good he was at stuff like this. After just three minutes the game was over and the hosts not so satisfied.

“Congratulations to the most boring group in the history of Random Play Dance! You deserved your pizza, this was really astonishing… yet somehow disappointing.“


The scenes shifted once more and the boys were sitting in a row of chairs, between them and the MCs a little poster board dividing the hosts from the rookie idols while in front of them the food table with Pizza on it was built up. Steaming Pizza was gone within the blink of an eye as the members were jumping onto it as soon as it was served like starved dogs.

“Together with Black Dragon - Re-written Profiles!“, Dony and Cony announced and dabbed before the close-up zoomed out to show all of them and the board with the little posters on it. “The fans are curious how BTS‘ little brothers are planning to win them over. So we’ll start talking about this now… and we’ll start with King Koo.“

King Koo’s poster was shown very big on the screen above the people sitting in the studio and MC Dony decided to read it out loud for the fans. “The group’s dad. But never dated. Wait… you never dated anyone? But you’re already so old!“

The Black Dragon members all started to laugh, only the leader looking utterly disgruntled. “It’s not my fault! Girls just don’t seem to like me enough! I tried!“

“Hey, it must be your fault if every girl rejects you! There’s no other explanation!“, Cony commented.

“It’s my special charm, though!“, King Koo argued.

“Deng! This is no charm at all! You’re no boyfriend material, let’s move on to the next one!“, the MCs cut him off and moved on to the next member, Bangwon.

“Your special skill is… besides rapping and songwriting, sketching! Someone, bring paper and a pencil, we want to see some of Bangwon’s drawings!“ As soon as Dony demanded the utensils, a staff was running cross the studio to hand Bangwon the demanded stationary. “Can you draw… King Koo in the morning?“

Bangwon did as Dony wished and started scribbling onto the paper immediately. A little later he turned around the paper and there was a gorilla on it to be seen that walked around with a towel around its waist. Everyone in the studio broke out laughing again and Dony even got up from his seat to give some standing ovation. “That looks exactly like the leader!“

The next member to be introduced was the snapback boy, Han, his profile pointing out that his special ability was girl group dances. Of course, the MCs were taking the opportunity to make all of the boys dance. “We have a girlgroup dancer over here? But how much is it better than the girlgroup dancing of your fellow members, Han? These days there are plenty of guys who can dance to girlgroups!“

Han snorted, trying to bury his face in the safety of his snapback cap’s shadow. “It’s not like I love to do it…“, he muttered grumpily, yet didn’t fight them for making him prove that he CAN dance to girlgroups either.

“But we’ll see who is best at girlgroup dancer in your group… who do we let compete against Han first…? Jaekwang, you look as if you’re a great girlgroup dancer!“, Cony addressed the group’s visual who suddenly looked up with a frozen expression on his face. “Please do some girlgroup for us!“

Jaekwang hesitated for a whole moment but when the others looked at him, he finally felt urged enough to get up and take position in front of the table. The music started playing and Jaekwang was forced to improvise to EXID’s Up and Down. He was a little early for the chorus but the MCs let it go anyway and he even got his round of applause after finishing. Han was up for the competition right after and he totally killed Sunmi’s Fullmoon, Cony roaring in excitement over Han’s very dedicated performance in which he even included the table and halfway ground the floor. His unexpected charm and iness really surprised everyone, even the other members and each of them from that point on agreed that he really knew what he was doing. Ace nonetheless got called up next and very passionately delivered a short performance of Sistar’s Shake it. Not so successfully, Bangwon stood in front of the table, sighing as he really did not want to dance.

“I really can’t do this…“, he insisted but no chance to escape. A GFriend song started playing and since the rapper had no idea how to dance to the choreography, he instead just walked around with cutesy drenched swag and when it was finally over, he started running into a corner to fill it with the embarrassment he was feeling. Two more members had to go through the competition, King Koo who made everyone laugh with his Red Velvet Dumb Dumb cover and then Toby who caused everyone to cringe with his cute gestures during his dance.

“Okay, we confirmed that member Han is the Black Dragon’s King of girlgroup choreographies. Hey, King Koo, you should give him your name!“, Cony said before they moved on to the next member. “Member Jongin, special charm: Shopping King. You guys have a lot of kings in your group. You should change the group’s name from Black Dragon to Wannabe Kings.“

“Yeah, this is not a valid point to be counted as a charm, NEXT!“, Dony added and whereas Jongin was about to protest, they just skipped him. “Jaekwang. Charm: Stunning visuals and cooking.“

“Did you bring some food for us?“, Cony asked as soon as his co-host read out the info.

“Unfortunately, no.“, Jaekwang answered.

“NEXT!“

“Maknae-line! First one Toby…special charm… speaking Latin? How is that a charm?“, Dony wondered and the camera zoomed into Toby’s face. The red-haired boy smiled into the camera and when he unsealed his lips, smooth words that nobody understood flew over them.

“Nam quod in iuventus non discitur, in matura aetate nescitur.“ After the foreign words left his mouth, he winked and bit his lower lip, the MCs abruptly jumping up from their seats to run straight in front of the member to cover him from the sight of the camera.

“Woah! What did he say?! This sounded like material! We can’t use this, we can’t use this!“, they acted all panicky, a sirene roaring in the background, the screen lightened up in red.

“It’s nothing bad, really!“, Toby assured and the MCs went back to their seats to introduce the last member’s special charm.

“Moving on. Ace’s special charm is…ripping off his shirt?“

Ace immediately jumped up from his seat, ready to rip his current shirt as well when next to him Jongin and King Koo threw themselves onto him to stop him from getting in public. Dony and Cony just watched them in obvious disbelief but also amusement. The guys dragged their maknae back to his seat, before the MCs could continue with the show.

“Okay, so we got to know about your songs, about your dancing skills and your charms… but we have something else prepared due to one of your senior group’s member’s special skills.“ Anticipation looked differently and from what one could see, there was more worry than excitement in the faces of the Black Dragon members when Cony informed them about the upcoming challenge. “Arora member C-Rin is known to be great at impersonating animals… since you guys were way too good at the Random Play Dance, we decided to come up with one more challenge. The challenge is this one: One of you will have to impersonate ten animals while the another one has to guess at least eight of those ten. If you manage… we’ll order every food you want additionally to the Pizza you already got. If you loose. We choose the penalty that you’ll have to do before you come back to this show again.“

The boys exchanged quick glances, the thought of more food seemingly igniting something in them that none of them was able to reject.

“We’re down for this.“, their leader answered very quickly and the others nodded in approval. The two MCs both grinned victoriously before a staff brought them a large pad of paper.

“Great. Then we’ll tell you who’ll compete. Han, come over.“ Dony waved said member over who couldn’t suppress the slight hint of annoyance on his face because he was the first chosen one for the challenge. “Stand here.“, the MC directed him, before he got up himself to get the second one to play this game. “Ace, you, too! Come over here.“ The man led the small boy next to him, at the end of the table, where he ordered the other members to move up the seats, so he could use the freshly emptied seat  and pull it in front of the table. Ace was soon sat down on the seat, before Dony got himself a third member, Jaekwang, to hold the pad of paper.

“You have two minutes for the ten animals! Ace, you’re not allowed to turn around and see what’s written on the pad. All you others are not allowed to help. Jaekwang, please flip the first sheet when I tell you to start. 3…2…1.. START!“

As soon as Jaekwang moved the paper, Han made a super pissed face. “Are you serious now?!“, he asked, the word ‚Shrimp‘ on the paper being his first challenge. He clasped his hands behind his back, mouthed weirdly and started to hop on the spot. He even went on his heels to picture the shrimp more neatly. Ace just laughed. Like all the others.

“I have no idea! What is this?!“, the smallest of them yelled and Jaekwang flipped to the next word.

Blowfish.

“WHAT THE?!“, Han exclaimed again.

“Food! Do it for the food!“, King Koo tried to encourage him and it seemed to work, Han pouted as strong as possible and even squatted down.

Again, Ace just starred at Han with a dropped open mouth and the question marks visible in his rounded eyes. “Is this… I fish or something? … I have no clue.“

“Next, next!“, Toby urged and Jaekwang flipped the paper again. In the meantime Ace excitedly clapped into his hands and nervously moved up and down on his seat.

Woodpecker.

Han used his hands as a beak substitute, acting as if he was pecking something.

“Ostrich! Chicken! Flamingo!“

As Ace voiced out his guesses, Han stopped to glare at the boy. “Come on! It’s so close!“, he urged him and further went on with his pecking acting.

“Dodo! Eagle! Owl! Turkey! Wait!“ Ace jumped up from his seat and also did the pecking move. “Is this the bird that pecks against trees…?! Damn! I forgot the name of it! What’s the name again?!“

“Are you serious now?! NEXT!“ Han’s yelling was followed by the other members laughing their asses off and applauding to the two’s stupidity.

Next on the pad was the word ‚Gorilla‘.

Hope was lightening up Han’s eyes and he threw himself to the ground to move an all fours. Once again the group’s maknae just stared at him, making Han angry again. “Jesus Christ!“, he voiced out and moved towards Ace to hit him. “THIS IS SO EASY!“ Dony and Cony both started yelling in between their laughters, pulling Han back to where he was supposed to act on. Han went on a little, praying that Ace would finally guess the right animal but since it didn’t happen, Jaekwang flipped the pad again.

“Oh, this is easy! So easy!“, Han immediately said and spread his arms like wings. Bird. “Come on, this is easy! Way too easy!“ The rest of Black Dragon started singing Let it Go as Ace didn’t seem to know what Han was trying to impersonate and Jaekwang sighed as he flipped again.

Han threw himself to the ground again, suddenly moving very slowly on it. Turtle. But Ace gave up straight again and with his “I have no clue!“, the next word followed instantly. As soon as the others saw the new word, they all broke out laughing again, Toby even crying next to Bangwon, holding onto the older one to not completely loose it.

Frilled Lizzard.

“You have 20 seconds!“, Cony updated the boys and whereas Han was about to complain about the next animal, he swallowed all his anger and ran around in a circle, pulling his legs up into the air and placing his hands right next to his head. King Koo laughed out loudly, clapping his hands as he throws himself almost off his chair, Jongin grabbing the leader to prevent him from falling.

“Next one, next one!“, Han urged when Ace still had no idea.

The rest happened quite quickly. The giraffe that Han tried to acted like was passed by Ace and the puma that followed was next-ed by Han. The very last word was kangaroo.

“You better guess at least this one!“, he warned the maknae and pretended to hit him again. Black Dragon was a bunch of cackling boys, none of them able to keep their calm at this point and also the MCs were at a loss at how bad those two members were at this game.

“Game over!“

With Cony’s last words the challenge was ended and the boys were allowed to get back to their seats, Ace laughing, Han not so much. The others slowly but surely calmed themselves and a staff was bringing the hosts a bag that none of the boys had an idea of what was in it.

“Since you didn’t even manage to guess just one single animal right… and we were thinking of granting you like one or two extra dishes for at least 5 or 6 correct guesses… this is your penalty waiting for you. In this bag there are plenty of paper snippets, each of them having one group and one song written on it. You have to grab one snippet and the song that is written on it… you have to perform in ugly version in fron of the group’s entertainment building.“

“WHAT?!“

The Black Dragon members were gasping in terror as soon as they heard about the penalty waiting for them.

“Goodbye Black Dragon fandom!“, Han shouted and threw his arms up in the air, turning around on his chair and showing his back to the camera.

In the meantime Dony held the bag out to King Koo who sighed and facepalmed himself over the loss before he unwillingly put his hand into the bag and grabbed one of the snippets to hand it over to Dony who immediately started laughing reading the group and the song.

“Congratulation to your GOT7 seniors, who will see you perform their song ’Girls Girls Girls’ as ugly as you can manage in front of the JYP building very soon!“

The show ended with this announcement and Black Dragon were standing in a neat row again to speak there final words to the audience. King Koo was standing in the middle and Dony gave him the final words.

“Thank you so much for letting us attend this show today and for the Pizza, of course.“, the Black Dragon leader directed his words at the two hosts. “We had lots of fun today…and…“ He blinked a little lost into the camera, “…had lots of fun…“

“No, we were the ones having lots of fun today for sure.“, Dony interrupted him. “And we’re looking forward to see your ugly dance performance in front of JYP!“

King Koo chuckled in bitter embarrassment. “Yes… for sure…“ Then he looked straight into the camera. “Thank you or supporting us and please give lots of love to Black Dragon!“ The members all clapped their hands and the final words followed.

“This has been Black Dragon!“

Hero was playing in the background and the members were dancing and bowing before the screen faded into black.




 

author notes

I was looking so much foward to the Weekly Idol episode and then it completely blocked me from going on writing Black Dragon. I'm so sorry for how bad this chapter is but also I'm just glad it's over so I can finally go on with the actual plot... well at least you get to see some on-screen interaction of the boys and how some of them present themselves from their best sides and some just don't really care about it or just can't function in front of the camera.
Forgive me for the long wait, for the Weekly Idol episode and thanks for still reading this even though I need centuries to update <3

“ If you can't convince them...confuse them. ”