1. “Going Over” by BTOB

I missed my Peter Pan, and I knew the kids missed their appa as well. It felt like it would be forever until the next time he could visit. Jiyool was growing up so fast. I know Yunho was sad to miss his only daughter’s firsts. I was sad about that too. Well I was taking many pictures and videos for him. I couldn’t wait to show him everything our little girl had learned the next time he visited.

 

2. “Pink Elephants on Parade” by Chorus

Dumbo was a cute movie. Looking at it as an adult was funny. A drunken hallucinating elephant? I think there’s more to that than the animators were letting on. At least the kids weren’t picking up on it at their young ages.

 

3. “Private Emotion” by Ricky Martin

It was so hard keeping everything with Yunho a secret from the world. I wanted everyone to know that he was mine, but I understood why we couldn’t just come out with the news. Cassies weren’t known for taking women being around DBSK/JYJ quietly. I hoped things would be different for us. They would be happy Yunho was happy.

 

4. “Phantom” by DBSK

I had to become a phantom around the Yunho and Changmin’s apartment for my safety. I didn’t like it, but I understood why it had to happen. I knew things wouldn’t stay this way forever – they couldn’t. Not when we would have a family someday.

 

5. “Right Mirrorcle (Ayumi Hamasaki vs. Nelly Furtado)” by DJ Masa

Tohoshinki were having another tour in Japan. I could hardly believe they still had so much popularity after twelve years. Youngjae just looked up proudly to his appa. It was a very cute relationship. He simply had to learn not to brag about his beloved appa and be humble.

 

6. “Aoi Bench” by Sasuke

I sat at watching my three children play at the playground. They were so cute and sweet! I didn’t think they would take care of their baby brother like they were. It filled my heart with warmth and love. Now I had to tell them that were going to have another sibling later this year. I had found out today.

 

7. “Tru-Dog” by Tobymac

I went with Yunho and little Youngjae to the studio. It was so cute! Youngie wanted to be in the booth with his appa the whole time, and Yunho knew just what to do to make our son’s face light up. I leaned over to the sound engineer and whispered in his ear.

“Youngjae-ya, do you want to sing with Appa?”

“Yes!” he yelled. Yunho grabbed a chair and set it up in front of the microphone.

 

8. “Loveholic” by Unknown Artist

Okay so I think I was becoming a little more than biased toward Yunho. I laughed. The sound of his voice and the way he said my name… It sent shivers down my spine and made me feel all tingly. I shuddered and looked around. The coffee shop was not the right place to be going down this path. I just… when was the next time I was going to be able to see him? He was promoting in Korea, so surely he could find time to meet me soon. I missed him. Skyping just wasn’t the same as being in the same room together.

 

9. “No Strings Attached” by *NYSNC

AJ was trying so hard with Sheena. I think she was simply being stubborn. I couldn’t say she was a fangirl, but she was “passionate,” and I knew he liked that. That’s not saying that’s the only thing he liked about her. I told him that I know she wasn’t the type that would take any crap from fans. She would fight for herself and her man. There were just a few other things he had to deal with like her emotions and crazy family. AJ was an idol and had dealt with some pretty insane things because of that, so I was sure he could handle whatever Sheena would throw his way.

 

10. “By Myself” by Tiffany

I knew that I was never alone here in Korea. There was no way I could be with all the Strong Heart girls, their families, and idols that were in my life. I was more than glad that I moved here. As terrifying as it was, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Who would have thought I would move to Korea, teach English, marry an idol, and start a family. I know I never did. I was truly blessed with all the people I had in my life, no matter how much my own family was a handful.