I put my hand on my belly as I looked at my family at the dinner table. Across from me, at the head of the table, was Yunho, my strong and handsome husband who was the best father and husband anyone could ask for. To the right of him was our three-year-old Jiyoolie who loved going to photoshoots with her appa and loved him almost as much as her oldest oppa. Next to her was our five-year-old Hyunsu who always seemed to have some sort of science question for us. (I think he picked up the Ludwig male science gene.) Next to him was our four-year-old Shinil who was a momma’s boy and loved to simply observe the world and people around him. To my left was our seven-year-old Yookwon who loved to be outside playing and running around. Next to him was our eight-year-old eldest Youngjae who looked so much like the appa he adored it was uncanny and was more of troublemaker than either Yunho or I imagined he could be, and below my hand, right under my heart, was our fraternal twins Minji and Hoonmin who still needed three months of protective care inside of me.

The twins… I sighed. They made kids number six and seven. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would have that many kids. Two or three maybe, yes. I still adored all my little angels. They were some of the greatest gifts God gave me. I thought back on the last six months of the pregnancy. It was my hardest one yet.

I think it was when I was pregnant with Jiyool that I said I thought if I was ever pregnant again, I would be put on bed rest. I was right; it happened this month. I hated being on bed rest, and it was all stupid Yunho’s fault. He just had to come back from the military looking all y and send the kids to the grandparents for the weekend. Of course he did. It didn’t help that I missed him really bad. Stupid pabo. He also came back and made me forget that I needed to go to the pharmacy. I started my five years being on the pill to help with my ovary health, which was the best way to help prevent ovarian cancer, while he was gone for those two years too. If I wasn’t behind, I wouldn’t have become pregnant again. I swear Yunho has super men or something. We weren’t expecting Youngjae either. I sighed again.

I can say I was at extremely glad that the first trimester was over. It was horrendous. I don’t know if it was because I was having twins or what, but I developed hyperemesis gravidarum a.k.a extreme morning sickness. I felt awful about it too because I was throwing up what seemed like all the time and scaring the younger kids. My poor babies! They didn’t understand what was going on with Mommy. I even had to go to the hospital a couple of times because my body and the babies weren’t getting the nutrition and fluids they needed. I was so happy I wasn’t having any hyperemesis gravidarum symptoms anymore and the babies were growing well now at six months. However, I’m small person, so I knew things were getting cramped in there the bigger they got, and the bigger they got, the more thrilled I was to meet Hoonmin and Minji! I had always wanted twins in the family, and I knew my twins were going to be just so utterly adorable.

Oooh! I rubbed my belly. They must have known I was thinking about them seeing as how they shifted around and kicked me in the liver. I love you too Hoonie and Minnie.

“Are you okay Tinkerbell?” asked Yunho.

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m fine. One of the babies was just ‘playing’ with Mommy.” I must have had a pained look on my face if Yunho said something.

“Do you need me to give you a massage?”

Oh isn’t he sweet. “No, no. You just continue eating. They’ll settle down.”

“Mommy, do you have an owie?” asked Shinil.

“I don’t have an owie Honey. Do you remember how Appa and I told you I have two babies in my tummy?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly.

“They’re getting big and there isn’t a lot of room in there for them, so sometimes when they move around, it doesn’t feel that good.”

“Oh.” Shinil looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he got out of his seat, stood next to me, lifted up my shirt, and kissed my belly. “There. I made it all better. It won’t hurt anymore.”

“Aw, thank you.” It started in my belly and was working its way up. I could feel tears gathering in my eyes. I tried to blink the tears away, but it wasn’t working. That was such a sweet thing for Shinil to do. I already had a bunch of warm fuzzies, and my youngest son’s actions weren’t helping my emotions. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Appa, why is Mommy crying?” I heard Jiyool asking. Darn. I didn’t mean to cry in from of my kids. “Is she sad?”

“Mommies who are having babies have lots of extra feelings, so sometimes they cry more easily when they’re happy, sad, or even mad.”

“People cry when they’re happy?” asked Shinil.

“Yes. Crying when you are happy is one way to express that emotion,” Yunho said. “When each and everyone one of you were born, I was so happy that I cried. Mommy did too.”

“That’s, that’s right we did,” I sniffed and said through my tears. “We were very, very excited to finally meet you and had so much love for you all that Appa and Mommy couldn’t help but cry.”

“Don’t ever forget that we love you more than you can ever know.”

“More than Cassie Appa?” asked Jiyool.

“Yes,” chuckled Yunho, “more than Cassie.”