NATALIE'S POV:

Shouldn't people feel sad over the death of their children ...?

Shouldn't they feel broken down ...?

And what if they were the only children they had...

Shouldn't they cry over their lost ?

Shouldn't they feel guilty for the bad stuffs they did to them

Shouldn't they feel empty just for a moment.... Or at least act like they feel empty for a moment ?

Maybe...! but my grandparents didn't.

They didn't really care...

Cause just like my parents , my grandparents never loved their children... Never cared about them .. About their dream ... Their wishes ...

It's like it's a disease that goes from father to son... From mother to daughter ... A disease that I'm not sure if it can be treated down.... All I know is that I'm not suffering from this ill ... Or maybe I am... Only time can prove which theory is true! 

After my parents funeral everyone went back to his normal life! But did i?! I guess the answer yes, nothing change in my life it's not like i felt empty or like a piece of me is missing like all the kids that lost their parents said they did , cause my parents never actually were a part of my life anyway , and I wasn't a part of their lives too ... for my parents I was just a piece of decoration that they were forced to accept... A piece  of decoration that's only used during business meetings and dinners when we used to act like the happy family which we weren't .
A piece  of decoration that cost  them their dreams and happiness .

I lived my childhood  in a countryside far away from my hometown London away from the media that discovered the terrifying truth behind my parents death .

I can assume that my grand parents were cursing my father for what he did ... But did they  realized that they were the only responsible for their death ,They're the one who preferred money over their only children, so if anyone could be blamed over my sadness it should be my grandparents and not my parents , cause just like me my parents were victims .... But somehow I still can't forgive them for what they did to me.... I was just a child ... I shouldn't have been treated that way.. I should of been loved.. Cared about... Treated like I'm really worth it .... But I wasn't I was treated like an object ..!

My story didn't finish here ... And that wasn't the end of my sadness yet .... That was just the end of another chapter of the horror book which I'm the main character in ... and my parents death was the begging of a worst  part.

Cause apparently life wasn't satisfied with the amount of pain I had been through and it was planing to add more madness to my story .
 

There were always something inside me stopping my smile for showing up... Always making me feel worthless ... Unloved ... Making me feel the pain that I don't know where it did came from ... I guess I was fated to live in this darkness and never see the light .

After that stage of my life  I somehow found my self along with my best friend yoongi  at the age of 12 taking drugs ; I did take drugs knowing that it can be the end of me... Knowing that an overdose can put a limit to my life... But who cares? ... Was I alive anyway ?...did my existence meant anything to anyone?, i don't thinks so! So what's the point of staying in this heartless world ?...

I crossed all stages in drugs  till I reached a point where I took heroine, I did that  knowing that after a couple of month it will be boring just any other drug ! And yet still I didn't care .

All of this happened under the eyes of my grandparents that were watching all my moves trying hard to cover any scandal that media caught , till the day they felt tired and  decided along with yoongi's family that best for their business is to send us to yoongi's mother country "Korea" where less people knew us and where media were less aggressive !

And that's how I was exported like a worthless object to a country I don't know anything about .

Yes ... Once again I was treated like an object