Yoongi let out a loud sigh while sitting on the swing at the nearby park. He knew it was a mistake to confess under that circumstance. He knew he should not do that.

 

But jealousy took over before he knew what he was doing.

 

And, Yoongi felt as if he was being rejected.

 

Seokjin ended up choosing Hoseok over him. Feeling frustrated, he kicked the sand beneath him. Why Seokjin could not choose him? They had been roommates since university years. Don't Seokjin trust him at all?

 

He took out the phone from his pocket of his sweatpants and looked at the time. It's 10:47 pm, almost 11pm. Should he go back? Would he interrupt them?

 

But.....Yoongi lived there. He had the rights to go back whenever he wanted right? With his fingers running through his hair, he did not know what to do.

 

"Yoongi?"

 

Yoongi turned around and saw Seokjin standing a few meters away. Yoongi's face lit up when he saw Seokjin but it did not last long. He noticed Hoseok was there too, and their hands were interlocked.

 

Right. Right.

Yoongi breathed in deeply and tried to maintained the smile on his face.

Seokjin always choose Hoseok. always. Why am i pinning high hopes on myself?

 

No words could describe how bitter Yoongi felt at that moment. He stood up from the swing and walked towards them. He patted Seokjin by the arm and asked.

"Feeling all better?"

 

Seokjin gave him a small smile.

"Better."

 

"Let's go back. It's getting chilly out here. Seokjin had prepared hotpot for you."

Hoseok said urging them to go back.

"As a compensation for you staying outside."

 

Com...compensation?

Yoongi did not want any compensation. He did it out of his own willingness. Even if Seokjin wanted to compensation, he would rather had his feelings being reciprocated.

 

"Sure, let's go back."

Yoongi said, trying to smile as bright as possible.

 

----

 

Seokjin woke up earlier today and feeling better. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 8 am in the morning and Seokjin was saturated with happiness.

 

Great. I'm doing better.

Seokjin praised himself and quickly sent a text to Hoseok, telling him about it.

 

Hoseok was like a shelter for him. A shelter that made him feel extra safe.

Like Yoongi too.

 

Yeah, like Yoongi too.

Seokjin smiled fondly upon that thought.

 

But….Yoongi was different. At least, different from Hoseok. Yoongi can caused a rapid change in his heart beat within seconds, made his blood all rushed up to his face, against the gravity.

 

He was just….

 

Just so tired with the ties between humans. Why do they had to have interlink between one another? Why he could not just had some personal space and wallow in his own agony? Just for a while, letting him feel much more better.

 

But people seemed to be very anxious and as if walking on the knife, being so careful around him, so worried about him. He tried very hard, to tell them that, it was fine. He just needed some space, to wallow in his own agony and he would be alright.

 

He knew, all his insecurities were temporary and might be just him over thinking. But he could not help but to have those insecurities. He could not help but to be skeptical about everything.

 

And one of the thing that he detest about was to even being skeptical towards Hoseok and Yoongi. Both of them were the closest to him, next to his family.

 

He hated himself for being like that.

 

Seokjin ran through his hair with his fingers and heaved out a loud sigh.

 

Life still goes on.

 

-------

 

Hoseok knew that he might be the sole reason why Yoongi was acting so different recently. He left the house earlier than Seokjin when he was the one who woke up in the afternoon all the time. Yoongi even came home late, probably at the wee hour. Seokjin had told him that he did not even know if Yoongi ever come back home.

 

Hoseok just smiled, reassuring Seokjin that everything would be alright.

But Hoseok knew it would not. Unless he approached Yoongi to find out.

 

Well, he somewhat knew what was the problem. Like what he thought earlier, he was the reason why Yoongi was not even at him (probably). He knew Yoongi had a different form of affection towards Seokjin and he just chose to be oblivious towards it, not even mention anything about it to Seokjin.

 

Hoseok smiled sadly at the thought of it.

Since when he became so despicable? He knew Yoongi also stand the chance, standing on the same starting point as him. He knew Seokjin did not see him in any other way except for being a friend, which was like a family to him. What about Yoongi?

 

Hoseok could not tell. He did not have the answer.

 

No matter how hard he tried to ignore, to forget about the matter, it would always came running back of his mind. It kept haunting him, as if kept reminding him, to hand over Seokjin to Yoongi, reminding him that Seokjin was not his to begin with.

 

Hoseok really dislike having that thought.

 

-----

 

Yoongi sighed. He knew he should not deliberately shun away from Seokjin. Even Namjoon was laughing at him, as if wearing a Seokjin repellent.

 

“ Dude, you don’t know anything about it…”

Yoongi muttered softly as he put on his headset.

 

He had no intention of telling every single thing to Namjoon. The reason being that he knew he had lost from the start. He hated the fact that Hoseok knew Seokjin earlier than him, Hoseok get to spend more year ahead, more times than him.

 

And Hoseok get to be chosen by Seokjin instead.

 

Life is so unfair.

Yoongi was on the verge of slamming his keyboard, but he could not do that. He did not want to startle Namjoon, who was working diligently behind him, with the latest music. All Yoongi could do was to step back.

 

Right.

 

Step back.

 

----

 

“Hoseok?”

Seokjin said anxiously on the line.

 

“Yeah?”

Hoseok put down his pen, focusing on what Seokjin was going to say.

 

“I don’t think Yoongi was coming back home all these week. I don’t even see his stuff being moved. No dirty laundry from him too.”

Seokjin bit his lips, trying to stay calm.

 

The thought of Yoongi disappearing was scary. It was like a horror movie for Seokjin. The house felt exceptionally empty, without Yoongi’s usual caring cooings, soothing melodies coming behind the closed door. Everything seemed so unfamiliar to Seokjin.

 

Why? Why had it become like that?

 

Tears welled up in Seokjin’s eyes.

Was he the one who drove Yoongi out of the house?

 

“Seokjin? Jin?”

Hoseok asked, but there was no reply on the line. Within seconds, the line got cut off, leaving Hoseok worried on the spot. He quickly got up from his seat and went over to his supervisor and asked for an emergency leave.

 

“Everything’s under control?”

Changmin asked. He knew nothing was alright by the look of Hoseok’s expression.

 

“I...I don’t know…. Sorry, i gotta go.”

Hoseok bid him goodbye and closed the door behind.

 

---

 

“.......”

 

Yoongi sighed. He tried his best not to pick up his phone. He knew all those phone calls were from Seokjin. He knew if he did not pick up, Seokjin would not give up.

 

But when he picked up, Seokjin was not even saying anything.

 

“Jin….Hyung….”

Yoongi sighed again.

“If you’re not gonna talk, i’ll hang up the phone.”

 

“No!”

Seokjin almost yelled over the line.

“Please…. Just… just listen to me.”

 

Yoongi’s brows kneaded together. Why Seokjin sounded so sad? Had his anxiety relapsed? Yoongi could clearly heard erratic breathings over the line, as if Seokjin was not breathing normally. Something must have happened.

 

“Hyung, you stay where you are, alright?”

Yoongi quickly got his stuff and dashed out of the studio.

“I’m coming over alright?”

 

--

 

Seokjin was literally crouching to the ground, sobbing when Hoseok found him in the apartment. Within a few minutes, Yoongi came dashing in and found Hoseok sitting down on the ground beside Seokjin.

 

“What happened?”

Yoongi asked as he walked nearer towards them.

 

Hoseok shrugged. He had no idea too.

 

-----

 

Hoseok hated it.

 

Yoongi hated it.

 

Seokjin hated it.

 

Why the matter ended up like this?

 

Seokjin was sitting on the sofa, with a lukewarm glass of water in his hands. His eyes were red and puffy due to the sobbing earlier on. Hoseok was sitting beside Seokjin, soothing Seokjin with his hands on his back, while Yoongi….Yoongi was sitting opposite them.

 

He was sitting opposite them, with indescribable feeling of bitterness.

 

Why wasn’t him the one who was sitting beside Seokjin? Why wasn’t him the one who came earlier and found Seokjin sobbing on the ground? Why was he always so late?

 

Why?

 

---

 

Hoseok was not feeling any better.

He knew Seokjin cried because of Yoongi.

 

Seokjin was worried about him.

Seokjin missed him.

 

and…..Seokjin loved him.

 

Hoseok frowned upon that thought.

 

Three strikes, and he’s out.

 

Yoongi won.

 

----

 

“Guys, just…. Please just leave me alone for a moment.”

Seokjin pleaded. He knew he was the main cause why the both of them were there. But he knew he could not handle their presence at that moment. All the feelings came crashing on him and he doubt he would be clear headed to talk.

 

“I’m sorry…..,”

Seokjin apologised as he brought his palms to cover his face.

“Please leave.”

 

Hoseok sighed. He knew nothing could stop Seokjin when Seokjin had made up his mind.

He signalled Yoongi to stand and leave. Yoongi nodded his head.

 

---

 

Once they left , Seokjin sat over there for almost and hour. He had to calm himself to think clearly. He knew he got to put an end.

 

I’m sorry.

He wrote.

 

---

 

“I’ll just head back home.”

Hoseok said as they reached to the ground floor of the apartment.

“What about you?”

 

Yoongi just shrugged.

“Probably crashing at Namjoon’s house again.”

 

Hoseok sighed. He felt sorry for Yoongi as the apartment belongs to him too.

“Sorry…..on behalf of Seokjin.”

 

Yoongi frowned, clenching his teeth hard.

Why did Hoseok had to apologise on behalf of Seokjin?

 

He did not need any form of apology. He understood Seokjin’s reason and whatever Hoseok was doing at that moment… it appeared to be very intimate. As if Hoseok was Seokjin’s guardian. He really dislike that.

 

“No, no need to be sorry about. I’m willing to give Seokjin some space.”

Yoongi said and bid goodbye, started to walk the opposite direction of Hoseok.

 

Probably Seokjin and Hoseok had a mutual affection towards each other.

 

Yoongi is indeed in love with Seokjin.

 

The distance between them grew further and further, with the same thoughts lingered in their heads.

 

Perhaps…. I should give them my blessings…..Perhaps, I should just leave.

 

-------

 

a/n:

I think i’ll just do the cover image after my 3rd chapter…

i've separate their povs in different segments and hope it is not confusing....

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