Chapter 3: 2577 Words

"Not Today-Twenty One Pilots"
You are out of my mind, you aren't seeing my side,
You waste all this time trying to get to me,
But you are out of my mind,

I'm out of my mind, I'm not seeing things right,
I waste all this time trying to run from you,
But I'm out of my mind.

    As he was waking up, Wonwoo looked around his plain hospital room. After the second time he'd been hospitalized, he'd requested they stop bringing pictures of him, his family, or his friends. He didn't want reminders of the people he'd leave behind. He asked that his family stop bringing flowers and gifts. He complained of migraines, so they gave him one of the rooms with much thicker, light blocking windows. 

    His room was left dark, grey and sterile. There was no decorations and no vibrance. It felt like a funeral; it felt like death. It was the perfect resting place for his depression. He couldn't let himself be happy or allow anyone he loved to begin to hope, and absolutely no hope could fester or grow here.

    His mother despised it, and he hated that it hurt her, but it was what was best for her. She was the one gimp is Wonwoo's armor of depression. He knew that the least he got her hopes up, than the less it would hurt when he was gone. Nevertheless, he would still give on certain small things that would keep her happy until he died, so she'd know she tried her best. 

    The intern thing was supposed to be that, just a small thing. Wonwoo was a day and a half in, and it was already much worse than that. Mingyu had no filter. He pushed Wonwoo, and he had already crossed every boundary or wall Wonwoo set. Wonwoo was face to face with another one of those boundaries being violated. 

    Sitting in front of him was his intern, talking to none other than Wonwoo's mother, his Achilles heel. Wonwoo cringed as he saw his mother laugh, for the first time in ages. Mingyu was telling her about how Wonwoo would be attending support group with him tomorrow night. 

    "What are you doing here?" Wonwoo interrupted coldly, glaring daggers at the tall gregarious man in front of him. Mingyu turned and smiled largely at Wonwoo's voice, while Wonwoo's mom practically cowered in fear. 

    "Wonwoo, honey! I just thought I'd come up since I hadn't spent a night in a w-" 

    "Not you. Him." Wonwoo gestured to Mingyu with his eyes. 

    "It's 2:45 Wonwoo, 7th hour, so I'm here for my job, and you. Do you want me to go, so you all can talk? I was going to go get some food for the cafeteria anyways. I'm trying to get Wonwoo hooked on this new healthy, organic, dairy-free, naturally sweetened frozen yogurt Mrs. Jeon." 

    "Please go now." Wonwoo said, stone cold and infuriated at the way that Mingyu talked to his mom. He was talking to her like she was his own mother. He was giving her Wonwoo's worst fear, hope. Mingyu left, still cheery, and Wonwoo decided he either did not understand social cues or didn't care. 

    Wonwoo's mom turned to him, teary eyed, "Why? Why do you do this, baby? Can't you just let people in. Or just try Wonwoo. I know what you thi-" 

    "No. Mom. I can't just let people in. I let people in, then I die and then what?" 

    "Honey, what if y-you don't die. T-that's not necessarily going to happen. M-Mingyu said the tumor has shrun-" 

    "No mom." She was sobbing at this point, but more importantly, she was hoping. She can't hope. "You don't understand, mom. This is the way I've chosen to go about this, and I'm an adult now, so let me be. I think you should spend the night at home again tonight, let's try again soon." 

    She looked lost and vacant, the way Wonwoo felt, "O-okay. Try to enjoy your time, p-please." 

    She left, crying, but Wonwoo didn't worry about that looking to unusual. Crying people were normal in a hospital. Hell, in his room that was almost an everyday thing. Mingyu walked back in with a questioning look, "Is she not staying?" 

    "No. And I'd appreciate if you would stay the hell out of my life. You can handle my health, but you can't handle me. You can't give her hope, you can't give her a reason to hold on. Do you not realize how dangerous that is Mingyu?" Wonwoo was crying lightly now, shaking from anger. Mingyu didn't understand; his mother didn't understand. Wonwoo didn't get why no one understood. Why did no one get why they can't hope, why he couldn't hope. 

    Mingyu tried to put a light hand on Wonwoo's arm, but Wonwoo quickly swatted him away. "Look, I don't know you, not yet. And I'm not promising to stay out of your life, but I'll stay away from your family, if that's what you want. I'll be professional, and I'll treat them like my patient's parents, but I can't just treat you like a patient." 

    "I never asked for this. I don't want you to care, and I don't want you." Wonwoo collapsed forward into a ball, burying his face in his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees. 

    "I know." Mingyu replied, hesitantly touching Wonwoo's back and resting it there when Wonwoo didn't swat him away. Wonwoo couldn't, he didn't have the strength and deep, deep down, he knew he needed someone. 

    Wonwoo had been pushing through this all, totally alone. Obviously surrounded by people who cared but choosing to be alone, and it was hard. Humans were clearly not made to go at it alone, and he'd grown much to weak to hold himself up any longer.

    They stood there like that. Wonwoo, folded over and Mingyu, with a hand on his back. They were there for awhile. Eventually, Wonwoo sat up, and wiped the tears from his eyes, staring hatefully at the red liquid they left on his skin. His tears were red from the che