I am so sorry I haven't updated in months. *hides in the corner in shame* I know I said the update would happen sooner, but I just got so caught up in my college applications and midterms. Luckily I've FINALLY finished with that so I should have more time to write.

On another note, Mark is finally back! It only took like 8 chapters lol. He definitely shakes things up a bit. I hope you guys like this update ^.^ alot of things happen.

Jinyoung's POV

He doesn't recognize Youngjae at first, but when Youngjae starts shouting names something inside Jinyoung stirs. The rusted gears of his brain start churning, creaking and groaning with effort as he recalls the old memories that Youngjae is attached to. The dust gathered in the cervices of his mind is lifting, the curtain that blocked everything is rising.

He can't breathe. It's all too much. His brain is working too hard to unscramble all the puzzle pieces. Everything else becomes white noise and all he can focus on is Youngjae. A snippet of a memory flashes before his eyes - it's of Youngjae handing him shot glass after shot glass. Another flash and Jinyoung remembers climbing onto a bus. One more flash and Jinyoung remembers leaning against a wall with tears streaming down his face. Each flash brings more dizziness. Before long, his legs give up on keeping him upright and he is falling to floor, falling down the dark hole of old memories.

When Jinyoung opens his eyes, his vision is still swimming. He attempts to sit up, but the room tilts to the side and he decides it's in his best interest to settle back against the couch. Breath in. Breath out. Focus on breathing. He won't even try to approach the state of his mind until he can sit up without feeling like the world is moving beneath his feet.

Jinyoung eventually forces himself to sit up properly, and it sends a sharp pain through his skull. He clutches his head between his hands, desperately trying to rub the pain away. More snippets of memories flicker into his mind. He remembers his mom making him hot chocolate whenever he had a bad day at school or after a row with his step-father He remembers his cousins taking him to his first college party and getting him drunk. He remembers his best friend, Mark, helping him move into his very first apartment.

Mark. The boy with pink hair in his dreams. He finally had a name. Jinyoung feels a sudden longing to see him again.

Voices just outside the door shake Jinyoung from his reverie. Cautiously, he goes up to the door and listens.

It's Jaebum. There's urgency in his voice, "I want to take him to the hospital." Jinyoung can almost imagine Jaebum pacing back and forth just outside the door.

"I think we should wait for a little longer. I called for his mom to come." It's Youngjae this time.

"Right. Who was that other guy you were talking to on the phone with?" Jaebum asks. 

There's a pause before Youngjae speaks, "Oh, it was his best friend." There's another pause, "Listen, Jaebum-hyung. I want to warn you before they come. Mark and Jinyoung...well, they're pretty close. So don't get thrown off by it okay? It's just how they are." At the mention of his and Mark's relationship, Jinyoung suddenly realizes the reason behind his drinking that night at the wedding. , please don't say anything else.

"Okay...how do you know all of this anyways?" Jaebum asks.

"After I called you yesterday, I called back the numbers on my voicemail. It was Jinyoung's mom and Mark. They filled me in on what happened while I was gone."

"What did happen?"

Oh no. Jinyoung thought, Jaebum can't know. Not yet. He's not ready. I'm not ready. There were still things he had to explain. Things he had to figure on his own before anyone else knew.

"Well I was serving Jinyoung drinks at Mark's wedding. He drank too much because...he was heartbroken." Youngjae says hesitantly.

"Heartbroken?" Jaebum voice raises just a fraction. Jinyoung panics and in a split second decision, he's flinging the door open. It slams against the wall, the sound resonating down the hall and startling Jaebum and Youngjae. Jinyoung wobbles a little from the force and Jaebum immediately rushes forward to steady him.

"How are you feeling?" Jaebum looks down at Jinyoung with the same tenderness he's always had, it's almost as if nothing has changed. It makes Jinyoung queasy with guilt.

It's a good question though. Physically, Jinyoung felt a little weak, but he'd live. Emotionally, Jinyoung felt unstable. There were so many things running through his head, so many things he had to sort out. He didn't have much time. Jinyoung settles with saying, "Not bad. Head hurts a little."

Next to them, Youngjae clears his throat. Jinyoung turns to Youngjae and the dull pain between his eyes grows.

He gets another flashback to the wedding. This time he remembers how seeing Mark kiss wife made him cry. Jinyoung feels sickly, the memories aren't good ones. Youngjae blurts out, "I'm so sorry, I just found out about your situation. I didn't mean to startle you so badly."

"It's fine." Jinyoung reassures him. But was it really fine? Jinyoung's past had finally caught up with him and now he had confront it and face the consequences.

"Do you know who I am?" Youngjae wrings his hands nervously.

Jinyoung hesitates before saying, "Vaguely." He doesn't know how much information he can reveal without complicating the situation further.

Youngjae glances nervously over Jinyoung's shoulder, presumably at Jaebum, "I'm Choi Youngjae. I was the bartender at the wedding that night. Your best friend's wedding. Do you remember that?"

Jinyoung curses his terrible luck. On one hand, he is thankful he finally had a connection to his past. But it came with a price-he risks Jaebum being hurt if he found about Mark. Things in their relationship are going so well, and Jinyoung is scared of upsetting their balance.

"Some of it. I remember drinking. And-" No, not yet. "Well it doesn't matter now does it. Does my mom know I'm here?"

Youngjae brightens up significantly at the mention of his mom, "Yes! I called her and she's coming over immediately. She almost didn't believe me. You have no idea how much they have missed you," Youngjae clears his throat, "She's isn't coming alone though. Mark is also coming. I hope you don't mind."

Jinyoung stays silent for second and Youngjae prods, "Mark Tuan? Do you remember him?"

Jinyoung's eyes flicker to Jaebum, who still looks concerned but now there's an edge of curiosity at the mention of Mark's name. He vaguely remembers telling Jaebum he didn't remember anyone besides his mother and step father. His palms start to sweat, "Well I-"

Jackson suddenly comes from around the corner, balancing a cup of tea precariously in his hands. "Junior!" Jackson drawls, pushing in between Jaebum and Youngjae, "How are you feeling? I made you my special organic tea." Jinyoung sighs internally in relief, grateful for Jackson's perfect timing. He smiles warmly at Jackson as he takes the cup into his hands, "Thank you."

Jackson beams, "It suppose to cure everything." Can it cure my mixed emotions? Jinyoung wonders.

Not a second later Bambam appears with Yugyeom in tow and a prescription bottle. "Hyung!" Yugeom squawks, "We ran to the corner store to get you some pain meds."

Jinyoung's heart warms from all their care, but there's also an inkling of fear at having to leave it all behind now that his past has returned.

Jaebum is wrapping his arms around his waist and rubbing circles into his arms, "Jinyoungie, do you want to sit down? You must still be weak."

Jinyoung nods and he's guided back to the coffee room, everyone following silently. Jaebum doesn't let go of him once. Everyone stands around him with bated breaths. He can tell Jackson and the maknaes are dying with questions but are respectfully staying silent. He appreciates it because he doesn't know if he has any answers for them.

Yugyeom is the first to break the silence, "Hyung? Can you remember now?"

Jinyoung turns to him with a tense smile, "Yes, it's coming back little by little."

"So, what's your real name?" Bambam blurts out.

"Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung." He answers.

"Do you remember your parents? Siblings? Where you use to live?" Yugyeom prods. "Wait..does this mean you're leaving us now?" Yugyeom eyes widen and his lip trembles a little. Jinyoung opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, it's as if there's a rock lodged in his throat. He doesn't know what to say. Everything happened so fast. Jinyoung feels like his world has been turned upside down. How exactly do you deal with a situation like this?

"Stop that." Jaebum cuts through. He reaches over to squeeze Jinyoung's thigh gently, "Don't strain yourself trying to remember everything at once. It will come with time. No matter what happens, we will all be there for you. Right guys?" Jinyoung looks at Jaebum adoringly. Jaebum's love is unconditional, and Jinyoung wishes his own life wasn't so messy. Jaebum was so wonderful, he deserved more than the mess he was.

"Right," everyone says in unison.

"You're amazing." Jinyoung murmurs on a whim. Jaebum looks slightly taken aback at his blatant confession, but then recovers with a gentle kiss to Jinyoung knuckles, "Only for you."

Bambam gags in the background, and Jinyoung throws a pillow at his head. "You and Yugyeom are just as bad." Jinyoung motions at the fact that Bambam is seated comfortable on Yugyeom's lap, and Yugyeom has his head propped up on Bambam's shoulder.

Somethings will never change.

A phone buzzes and Youngjae picks it up. He speaks quickly and quietly before hanging up. He grins at Jinyoung, "Your mom is here."

Something unfurls in Jinyoung's heart. He will finally see the woman in his dreams-the woman who patched up his wounds and held him in her lap as he cried himself to sleep. The woman who gave birth to him and knew every little thing about it him. Someone to rely on.

"Take me to her." Jinyoung breathes, already giddy with excitement.

When Jinyoung walks into the front of the store, he sees her silhouetted by the sunlight in the front door. Her age is evident by the gray creeping into the roots of her hair and the wrinkles forming around her eyes and mouth. Her hands shake where they clutch a crumpled tissue. When Jinyoung lifts his gaze to meet her eyes, they are shining with unshed tears. Her eyes crinkle up into a smile and Jinyoung inhales sharply-they crinkle at the sides. Just like him.

"Mom." He chokes out and rushes forward.

The woman lets out a sob as she meets Jinyoung half way. They clutch each other as if they were clinging to a life boat in a torrential ocean. His mom smells familiar, like cinnamon and old spice. Her touch is familiar too. Soft and comforting. He melts right into it. There is a sudden weight lifted off his shoulders, like he's a little kid again. 

"My sweet, sweet boy." She chants as the tears fall, soaking Jinyoung's shoulders. Jinyoung just holds her tighter. "Mom." He buries his face into the scarf around her neck.

"I thought I would never hear that word again." His mom lifts her hands to cradle his face and murmurs, "You've changed so much in a year." Her lips tremble in their smile, "I-I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you forever." She breaks into hysterical sobs again and Jinyoung's heart breaks.

He feels sudden guilt for not trying to find her sooner, "I'm here. I won't leave again. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "Don't apologize. I'm just glad you're okay. That you're alive." She runs her hands over his shoulders. "You're alive." She sounds like she doesn't believe it, like Jinyoung might just be a figment of her imagination.

"Alive and healthy." Jinyoung reassures her.

"How have you been? Where did you stay all these months? How did you eat? God, you probably didn't have money." His mother frets over him.

"Mom, it's okay. I'm okay. I had a wonderful group of people to take care of me. There's no need to worry."

"I'll always worry. It's my job." She squeezed his hands. "Jinyoung," His mom says, slight wariness creeping into her tone. "I didn't come alone here. There's someone else waiting for you." She turns back to the door and calls out, "Mark, you can come in."

The name alone feels like a punch to the gut.

Jinyoung was too distracted by seeing his mom again that he completely missed the figure lingering at the threshold, respectfully waiting for them to finish their mother-son moment. The man's shoulder's are slouched underneath a hoodie. His hair is dark brown, tousled as if he had been running his hands through it. There are large dark circles his red eyes. Jinyoung almost doesn't recognize him.

But then the man breaks out into a toothy grin and Jinyoung sees the same boy from his dreams-except the boy is a full grown man now. He realizes that even in this state, Jinyoung finds Mark kind of beautiful.

Now that he was given the clear, Mark barrels towards Jinyoung, literally sweeping him off his feet and spinning him around in the air. Jinyoung feels a little breathless even after Mark sets him down.

Once Jinyoung has been returned safely to the ground, Mark is crowing, "Jinyoungie. My Jinyoungie."

"M-M-Mark." Jinyoung manages to stutter out. Mark is so close, so real. It's overwhelming after only seeing figments of him in dreams. He tries to take it all in at once. His bright, brown eyes, and sloppy hair. The strong smell of his cologne. Even Mark's arms feel familiar wrapped around him, as if this was a common position for them.

"Jinyoung," Mark says, voice barely a whisper as he places his hands on both sides of Jinyoung's face.

"Mark," Jinyoung mimics him and they break into relieved, happy giggles.

"I've missed you so much. God, you have no idea. I thought you were dead," His arms tighten around Jinyoung, "It was my fault. I felt so guilty. You went missing on my wedding night. I should have been more responsible. I'm sorry I-" Mark rambles.

"Stop. None of it was your fault. It was my irresponsibility." My choice to fall in love with you.

"I will never forgive myself." Mark shakes his head. "We called the police but didn't hear anything back. We thought you had been mugged and killed and thrown on the side of the road. I was so scared that you might be dead." Tears well up in Mark's eyes and Jinyoung finds himself reaching up to wipe them  away. "I thought I had lost my best friend forever."

Jinyoung's heart aches at Mark's words. He finds himself blinking back his own tears - the strong emphatic bond between them still existing even after spending so much time apart.

"You haven't. I'm here."

Mark grins through his own tears, "I never thought I'd be happy to see your ugly crying face again."

Jinyoung hits him as he laughs, "Still insufferable as ever."

There's a sudden feeling of want, a need to have Mark back in his life. It hits him like a freight train, how much he has missed their easy banter and Mark's smile. Jinyoung's lips tremble with the promise of more tears, and he furiously tries to wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

Mark gently takes Jinyoung's twitching hand, "Stop that. Remember how sensitive your eyes get when you rub them." Jinyoung scoffs, but he is cut short when Mark suddenly leans in. Jinyoung lets out a  small gasp at the close proximity. Mark simply kisses the tears slipping down Jinyoung's cheeks. He hadn't expected the sudden action, but then remembers how affectionate Mark could be. It had been a common reason for why people constantly misinterpreted their relationship. But this time it feels too intimate, too out of place, especially in front of Jinyoung's new friends.

Mark seems undisturbed by his sudden display of affection, "We've got to stop crying so much. This is suppose to be a happy moment!"

Jinyoung laughs shakily, still uneasy from having Mark so close to his face. Mark then buries his face in Jinyoung's necks as he says."Now that I've found you, I won't let you go. Never ever."

Someone blows their nose loudly behind them. Jinyoung turns around still shaking and sees Jackson wiping up his eyes with a tissue. "Sorry." he warbles. "This was just so emotional to see."

Jinyoung lets out a genuine laugh this time.

"God, I've missed that sound." Mark says and Jinyoung blushes at his bluntness.

Youngjae is smiling next to Jackson. Meanwhile, Yugyeom and Bambam are clutching each other, also looking slightly teary eyed at the scene.

But then Jinyoung's gaze falls to Jaebum. His stomach twists nervously, when he can't read the expression on Jaebum's face. Jaebum's arms are crossed tightly around himself and his mouth is set in a thin line. He has a poker face on but Jinyoung can see the tension in his shoulders. Abruptly Jinyoung realizes the fact that Mark is still wrapped around him and he scrambles to detach himself.

Jinyoung clears his throat awkwardly, and rushes to break the silence, "Mom, Mark! I want you guys to meet the amazing people who helped me when I lost my memory." He gestures towards Jackson, who waves back pitifully, "That one crying is Jackson. And the other two hugging each other are Bambam and Yugyeom, Who are grossly in love with each other. You guys know Youngjae."

Jinyoung finally gets to Jaebum and strolls over to hold his hand. He is surprised when Jaebum grips on tightly as if Jinyoung might run away or something. "And-um-this is Jaebum. My boyfriend."

His mom gasps, "Your boyfriend??"

"Yes." Jinyoung gives a shy smile. "The best I could ask for."

Mark looks his eyes might pop out of his head, "He's...your...boyfriend?"

This time Jaebum speaks up and wraps a possessive arm around Jinyoung's shoulders, "Yes." He responds in a clipped tone. "We've been dating for a while now." He  collects himself and bows politely, "It's nice to meet you both."

Mark blinks disbelievingly between the two of them. There is an air of awkwardness, and Jackson attempts to lighten the mood. He clasps his hands together almost too enthusiastically, "Ms. Park and Mark, please sit down! We will treat you to some coffee and dessert."

"That sounds lovely." Ms. Park smiles, "I want to get to know the people who have taken such good care of my son."

Jackson and Bambam join some tables so they can all sit together. Jinyoung sits next to his mom and Jaebum goes to sit next to him, but Mark beats Jaebum to it. Jinyoung shoots Jaebum an apologetic glance, but Jaebum barely acknowledges it and goes to sit stiffly across from them. Jinyoung's stomach churns with more anxiety.

The maknaes bustle around for a minute, bringing everyone coffee and a slice of cheesecake. When everyone's finally settled, Ms. Park speaks, "Jinyoung." She clasps her son's hands, "Please tell me, what on Earth happened?"

Jinyoung gulps and his eyes flickers briefly over to Youngjae, who's sitting next to Jackson. Their eyes meet in a silent message. Although he is the least closest with Youngjae compared to the others, Youngjae is the only one who knows the full truth. He clears his throat, "I was stupid. I got too drunk and tried to take the bus home. I guess I got lost, things are still a little blurry there. But I woke up on the sidewalk next to this coffee shop. I couldn't remember anything, nothing about how I got there or who I was. They were all nice enough to take me in."

Mark shakes his head in disbelief, "I can't even imagine how scary it must have been. You couldn't remember anything?"

"Well sometimes I had dreams about my past. But it was all pretty hazy." Jinyoung says.

"Did you remember me?" His mother's brow creases with worry.

Jinyoung nods, "Yea, sometimes." His face is grim, "I would have flashbacks to our old house with my stepfather." His mom makes a sympathetic noise and squeezes his hand and Mark pets his knee under the table.

"What about me?" Mark looks at him with wide, curious eyes and Jinyoung can't bear to lie to him. "I-um-"

Mark's expression is almost crestfallen, "You forgot about me?"

Jinyoung blurts out before he can think, "I remembered." He doesn't want to cause Mark any more pain.

Mark's eyes light up, "What did you remember?"

"The playground. And um-" Jinyoung almost mentions the engagement but decides that topic might be too risky, so he settles on the next thing that pops into his mind, "Your pink hair."

Mark's head tilts back with laughter, "Of course. Out of all the things you remember about me, it was my pink hair." He teases, "Makes sense though, you were obsessed with it."

Ms. Park pipes in, "Oh I remember that. You wouldn't stop talking about who good Mark looked with pink hair for days. I think you even ask me if you could dye your hair pink."

"Mom..." Jinyoung whines, he couldn't believe that they were already trying to embarrass him in front of his friends.

As if reading his mind Yugyeom leans over the table towards them, grinning, "Do you have any embarrassing stories about Junior?"

Mark frowns, "Junior? They call you that? I haven't called you that in ages."

Jinyoung shifts uncomfortably in his seat, recalling how frightened he had felt when he couldn't remember his real name, "It was all I could remember at the time."

Mark smiles warmly at him, "It's okay Jinyoung-ah, no one knows you better than me. I'll help you remember everything." He says to Yugyeom, "To answer your question, yes I do. Loads of them."

"Do tell." Bambam also leans in.

"I have one." Jinyoung's mom offers, raising her cup of coffee to her lips to hide a wry smile. "For Jinyoung's 5th birthday, Mark gave him a teddy bear. Jinyoung slept with it every night until freshman year of high school."

"I don't remember that..." Jinyoung stammers, embarrassment flooding his body.

Mark looks amused, "Even I didn't know that." His eyes light up, "But I do remember when we were in the school play in elementary school and they made you play Snow White because there were no girls since it was an all boy school."

"Do you have pictures?" Jackson crows.

Mark's eyes glints with mischief, "Of course I do. Let's just say, Jinyoung makes quite a convincing girl." Jinyoung glares at him. They had just reunited and Mark is already betraying him.

"I was the prince and when I tried to kiss Jinyoung for the waking up scene, he started crying," Mark continues. Jackson burst out laughing and Jinyoung flicks a cheesecake crumb at his face.

"There was also that time we almost got arrested." Mark says nonchalantly while sipping his tea.

Ms. Park raises her eyebrows, "I want to hear this one too."

A chorus of oohs come from everyone else at the table.

"I convinced Jinyoungie to go skinny dipping in a public pool...after hours." Mark looks pleased with himself as he takes another sip of tea.

Bambam gasps dramatically, "No way. You got Junior, I mean Jinyoung, to do something illegal? I respect you so much."

"At least I had towel nearby, Jinyoung had to end up running away , cuz he couldn't find his clothes."

"And that was the last time I did anything illegal." Jinyoung tries to defend his image.

"Well..." Mark says, but Jinyoung stomps on his foot underneath the table. Although Jinyoung can't recall any specific illegal activities right now, he would rather not be reminded by Mark blurting it out in front of his mom.

But Mark hadn't finished teasing him, "It was pretty funny, to see Jinyoung's cute little jiggling all the way back to my car." Jinyoung chokes mid sip of coffee, and rasps out, "Mark!" The maknaes start laughing again, while Jackson shots a nervous glance at Jaebum. Not a second later, Jaebum stands abruptly, chair scraping violently against the floor.

Everyone became dead silent.

"Jae-" Jinyoung begins, heart thumping rapidly, but Jaebum interrupts him, "I'm going to get another slice of cheesecake," is all he says before he storms into the back of the shop, the staff-only door swinging wildly behind him. Jinyoung feels panic crawl up his throat and he goes to chase after Jaebum. Jackson stops him with his hand, "Jinyoung, maybe you shouldn't. He's going to be...moody if you try to talk to him. Let me get him. I'll get him to cool down." Jinyoung nods mutely, and watches helplessly as Jackson runs off to get Jaebum.

"Did I say something wrong?" Mark asks innocently.

Bambam answers for Jinyoung, "Jaebum-hyung can just be a little possessive of Jinyoung. It's no big deal."

Mark look skeptical, "He has quite a temper, doesn't he?"

Jinyoung can't help the slight flare in his chest, and his voice becomes defensive, "He's just struggling to grasp the situation. It's not everyday your boyfriend's regains his memory after having amnesia for a year."

Mark raises his hands in an apology, "I'm just saying, I didn't mean to get him mad."

Jinyoung deflates, "I know. It's not your fault."

Jaebum finally returns with Jackson in tow. He looks around awkwardly at everyone, before sitting down. "Sorry about earlier, I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Ms. Park nods understandingly, "It's alright, we all have bad days."

"So do you guys want to hear more stories about Junior?" Mark says, but Jinyoung can see Jaebum tense in the corner of his eye. "Actually," Jinyoung intervenes, "How about we stop talking about the past for a minute. Let me tell Mark and my mom about what happened with me this past year at the cafe."

"Oh that sounds good!" Ms. Park nods, "I want to hear all about how you and Jaebum started dating. Jinyoung reaches across the table to grab Jaebum hands, and Jaebum looks up at him a little surprised. Jinyoung tries to send him the most reassuring smile he can muster. "Well, Jaebum has been a great help this entire time. So has everyone else. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am. Jaebum even jumped in front of a car for me." Ms. Park gasps. "Well, I guess I should start from the beginning. So after waking up on the side walk Jackson told me I could work here, and Jaebum would train me..."

After an hour of story telling, everyone is done with their food and drinks, so they begin to clean up. Jinyoung is picking up plates when Bambam calls out, "Hey Snow White, can you pass me the dirty spoons?" Jinyoung swivels around to swat at his head, "You little brat!"

Yugyeom easily inserts himself in between them, in a valiant attempt to save his boyfriend from Jinyoung's wrath. Bambam smiles triumphantly and snakes his arms around Yugyeom's torso, using him as a human shield.

"Bambam, you should learn to respect ladies." Yugyeom counters with a grin.

Jinyoung gasps offended and this time aims his attacks at Yugyeom. What did he do to deserve such insufferable kids? Bambam and Yugyeom run away giggling from Jinyoung's swinging arms.

Jinyoung's mom decides she wants Jinyoung back home in Seoul as soon as possible. So, they decide to close the coffee shop early and swing by Jaebum's place to pick up Jinyoung's stuff. Jaebum offers to help him bring everything down.

The walk up to the apartment is silent.

Jinyoung doesn't know what to say and Jaebum wordlessly watches Jinyoung pack up his belongings into a suitcase. It feels wrong. All you can hear is the ticking of the clock and hum of the fridge in the background. It's as if the world is holding it's breath before the storm erupts.

"Why did you lie?" Jaebum finally speaks. He doesn't sound happy.

"About what?" Jinyoung can hear his heart beat pounding in his ears.

"You said you didn't remember anyone, but you remembered Mark." Jaebum accuses. Jinyoung finally looks up from his packing and sees Jaebum sitting on the bed frowning. He wants to walk up to Jaebum and hug him, reassure him that things will be okay. But for some reason he is scared of Jaebum flinching at his touch.

"I-I didn't want to hurt you." Jinyoung means to pacify Jaebum, but as soon as the words leave his mouth he realizes how it must sound, and what it might imply. Jaebum's face twists into an expression between betrayal and despair.

"Why would it hurt me?" Jaebum's lips press together into a thin line. "Juni-Jinyoung, tell me the truth. Why would it matter that I not know about Mark? Did you date once?"

"No, we never dated." Jinyoung settles on a half truth, and stares intently at the sweatpants he is currently folding.

That still wasn't the answer that Jaebum wanted to hear, "Youngjae said-!" He takes a deep breathe, "He said that you were heartbroken at the wedding. That's why you drank so much. He wouldn't say anything else. Why were you heartbroken?"

Jinyoung closes his eyes and prays for some meteor to drop from the sky so he didn't have to deliver the news. When he opens his eyes, there is a glint of hope in Jaebum's gaze. Hope that Jinyoung might not say the dreaded words he suspects. But the world is never fair.

"Does it matter?" He delays.

Jaebum snaps, "You've got me thinking the worst here. Was there an affair between you two?"

Jinyoung bristles at the word "affair", he feels himself go on the offensive, "Absolutely not. What do you think of me?"

Jaebum seems to realize he might have crossed a line and softens a bit as he says, "Then what?" Jinyoung sighs. He really doesn't want to do this now. His plan was to avoid explanations as much as possible, he hoped Jaebum would move on with this. He didn't want to open up old wounds for himself either. Some foolish part of him thought that if he never voiced it, it never happened.

"Why won't you tell me?" Jaebum demands. He's gotten up now, and Jinyoung feels his blood pressure spike.

He blurts out the dreaded words, one deadly blow to Jaebum's heart, "I use to be in love with him."

Jaebum inhales sharply, as if he has been physically punched in the gut. "You're in love with him?" He looks positively distraught.

Jinyoung feels like screaming, why did things go downhill so fast? He frantically tries to salvage the situation, "No, no. I was. Not anymore."

Jaebum didn't look convinced, "How do you know?"

"Because I'm in love with you now." Jinyoung is desperate.

Jaebum ignores the confession, "How long have you loved him?"

"I don't know how that will help." Jinyoung is a master at evading questions he doesn't like.

"How long?" Jaebum repeats.

"Since we were kids."

Jaebum's face crumples again, and runs a hand through his hair. Jinyoung scrambles towards him on the bed and grasps his hands, holding on tightly. "Jaebum, listen to me. I don't love him anymore. That left with the memories. Please believe me." Jaebum still wouldn't meet his eyes, so Jinyoung clasps Jaebum's face and with as much emotion that he could muster he says, "I love you."

"I love you too. So much." Jaebum looks slightly pacified and Jinyoung sighs in relief on the inside. "I don't want to lose you."

Jinyoung shakes his head furiously, "You won't lose me. That's not even a possibility." He crawls into Jaebum's lap and Jaebum's hands automatically grasp his hips. His grip is bruising, as if he is scared Jinyoung would slip through his finger tips. Jinyoung presses forward to capture Jaebum's lips into a sweet kiss-trying to drown out his doubts. Jinyoung doesn't miss the way Jaebum's grip becomes tighter and tighter with each second.

Jaebum goes ahead to bring down some of his suitcases and Jinyoung stays behind to say bye to Nora. As he leaves the apartment alone, he bumps into the old lady from months ago. She stops and narrows her eyes at the suitcase in Jinyoung's hands, "You're leaving?"

Jinyoung tries to defend himself, "I-um. Well, yes kind of."

"Did you and Jaebum break up?" She frowns.

"No." he says hastily.

"Then why are you leaving?" She prods. It's a good question.

"It's a long story." Jinyoung sighs. The suitcase in his hands feels heavy-not just from the clothes in it, but also from the weight of the decision he is making to go back home.

"Does Jaebum agree with you leaving?"

"I-" Jinyoung pauses, realizing that Jaebum and him hadn't really had the time to discuss the situation. They didn't talk about whether or not this was good move for him. Jinyoung just let himself get swept up in the moment and by his mother's wishes. "I don't know what he thinks." Jinyoung says truthfully. Surely, Jaebum was upset he was leaving, but Jaebum must understand that he must return to his past to sort things out.

It's the women's turn to sigh, "So you are leaving without talking things out?:

"We aren't breaking up. I just have somethings I need to resolve back in Seoul. And I'll keep in touch."

"Will you come back?" Another good question. Jinyoung hadn't really thought about what was going to happen after he returned back to Seoul. He assumed his old life would start up again and he'd tie up loose ends but what then? Does he come back to Icheon? Does Jaebum come to Seoul with him? Either way someone is going to have give up their way of life for the other. Long distance is always an option, but the thought of not seeing Jaebum for months and months makes him sick to his stomach.

"I don't know." 

"Well, for both your sakes, I hope you do come back at least to visit."

"Visiting...yes, I can do that." Jinyoung turns to leave, but before says a proper good-bye, "It was nice meeting you. Take care of Jaebum."

She smiles warmly at him, "The pleasure is all mine. Oh and Jinyoung?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't forget about Jaebum. He loves you very much."

"We can skype and call everyday." Jinyoung says holding Jaebum, and appreciating the last fleeting moments of his touch and warmth before he leaves.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Jaebum murmurs pressing their foreheads together. His voice is gravely from pent up emotion. It almost reminds Jinyoung of the hoarse voice Jaebum has every morning when they wake up together. The knife in his heart twists a little when he realizes he won't be waking up in Jaebum's arms anymore. Jaebum will no longer be able to press sloppy kisses into his neck until he wakes up, or make him breakfast in bed after long night at the cafe.

"Not as much as I will miss you. I love you." Jinyoung insists.

"I love you more." Jaebum gives him a small smile, and Jinyoung's hearts twists a little bit more, knowing he won't be able to see that smile in person for a while. Even if he does see Jaebum's face through skype, Jinyoung won't be able to satisfy his urge to kiss Jaebum's two moles above his eyes, or to run his hands through Jaebum's dark locks. All the little moments of intimacy that he took for granted are suddenly being taken away from him. Jinyoung pulls Jaebum down for a kiss. Jaebum kisses him with a hint of desperation, hands tightening around his waist in the same manner they tightened around his hips back up in the apartment.

"Alright, alright. Before we all start puking. Stop hogging Junior-I mean Jinyoung. We want to say bye too." Jackson says, hauling Jaebum back. Everyone else then takes the opportunity to pile on top of Jinyoung in a group hug.

Yugyeom's voice is muffled from where he is squished against Jinyoung's jacket, "Promise you won't forget about us hyung."

Jinyoung wrangles an arm free from Yugyeom's clutches to reach up and ruffle his hair affectionately, "I'm just going to be an hour drive away."

"That's so far." Bambam wails, clinging to Jinyoung's free arm. "Who's going to save me from Jaebum's wrath now?"

Jinyoung pinches his cheeks, "Well that just means you have to behave."

"I can't believe you're leaving me alone to put up with this lot." Jackson sniffles and uses Jinyoung's sleeve as a tissue. If it weren't for the current situation, Jinyoung would be strangling Jackson, but he decides to make an exception. "You managed just fine before I arrived."

"Hush. The cafe will never be the same without you!" Jackson cries.

"I can come back to visit you know." Jinyoung chuckles.

"You better. If you don't, I might have to kidnap you." Jackson threatens.

Jinyoung laughs again, "I'm going to miss all of you."

"Jinyoung," His mother calls softly. "Our taxi is waiting, we should head back now."

Jinyoung hesitates, a small part of him wants to run back to Jaebum's arms. But he has to be reasonable. "Bye kids." Jinyoung waves and even blows a kiss for good measure. Mark throws an arm around him and pulls him away. Jinyoung tries to put a little distance between them, after seeing the way Jaebum's face darkened.

"I'll take good care of him, I promise." Mark jokes along and drags Jinyoung into the taxi.

Now that Jinyoung is in the car alone with Mark and his mom, he feels a little awkward. Even though he has know these people for all of his life, his memory is still a little, well, wonky. But his mom smiles reassuringly at him, "As soon as we get back to Seoul, I want to take you to the hospital to get a proper check up." 

Mark nods, "We want to make sure there was no serious damage."

Jinyoung says, "I swear I'm fine."

Mark loops his arm through Jinyoung's, "We finally got you back after a year, let us coddle you."

"Oh and one more thing." His mother says, "Your old apartment is gone. We sold it after-" She clears awkwardly, "Well, you know. Anyways, I would have you stay with me, but my house is getting renovated. I'm staying with my friend. Luckily, Mark offered to have you stay with him and his wife."

Jinyoung feels queasy at the mention of Mark's wife, "I don't want to be a bother."

"Don't be silly." Mark interrupts, "We would be so happy to have you. Besides, it'll just be until we can get you a new apartment. And your old job at the editing company is still waiting for you too, if you want to take it of course." He pats Jinyoung's hand, "See? Everything will be soon back to normal, just the way things use to be."

Jinyoung isn't sure if he likes the sound of that.

"Well, I wouldn't say completely back to normal. Our Jinyoungie has a boyfriend now." Ms. Park gushes. "He is so handsome and kind, I mean he did have a little temper back there. But he looks at you like you are the center of his entire universe."

Jinyoung blushes, "Aish, mother."

"It's true!"

Mark nudges Jinyoung, "You still love me the most right? I'm your best friend after all. Bros before hoes right? Although I guess things work differently if you're dating a guy." Jinyoung knows Mark only means it in a harmless, teasing manner, but it still strikes a cord within him. Jinyoung gives Mark a weak smile and doesn't answer. Maybe because he doesn't know the answer right now.

That wasn't too angsty was it? I'm trying to ease into the angst. Or maybe it was pretty angsty already idk lol. Lmk your thoughts on Mark coming back and do you think Jinyoung might still be in love with him?