A reader brought to my attention that the long distance relationship between Jaebum and Jinyoung would work better using Seoul and Busan, instead of Seoul and Incheon, so I will go back shortly into previous chapters to change it. Just letting you guys know so you won't be confused in future chapters, Jaebum's hometown will now be Busan.

Without further to do, here's the next chapter :)

Jaebum's POV

The past few weeks had been incredibly stressful for Jaebum. Between managing a cafe with growing popularity, photography gigs on the side, and the increasing tension in his relationship with Jinyoung, he was feeling a little overwhelmed.

Everything in Jaebum's life was coming along just fine. He has a job that he loves, surrounded by life long friends. He has a small, but cozy apartment filled with lovely memories. He had Jinyoung - who was his beacon of happiness and hope of better days to come. Waking up next to Jinyoung every morning, and knowing that he was Jaebum's to hold, to kiss, and to cherish, had filled him with butterflies straight out of a cheesy romance novel.

Jinyoung became a permanent in Jaebum's life, and Jaebum had grown so use to seeing Jinyoung wandering in his apartment. Nothing warmed Jaebum's heart more than seeing a sleepy Jinyoung, with bed tousled hair stumbling blindly in his kitchen to make coffee and packing lunches for the maknaes who never actually fed themselves anything other than fast food. Or seeing Jinyoung swaddled in his clothes on the sofa, highlighting his favorite quotes in Jaebum's books, with his feet propped up on the coffee table and Jaebum never failed to tickle them when he passed by just to hear Jinyoung squeal. Everything Jinyoung did just seemed to make Jaebum fall more and more in love with him. Even his snarky remarks that most would find offensive would make Jaebum admire the fire and passion in his heart. Just looking at Jinyoung made Jaebum's heart burst at the seams with fondness and his head dizzy with love. The intensity of his feelings for Jinyoung terrified Jaebum, who had never experienced something so strong and vivid.

Sure, he was grateful Jinyoung finally reunited with his past and was saved from the torment of his dreams every night. It pained Jaebum to see Jinyoung suffer from not being able to reconnect with his past. If something alleviated this pain from Jinyoung, then Jaebum wouldn't blink an eye before giving up his life to make it happen. So, when Youngjae recognized Jinyoung and provided that connection, Jaebum went along with it. So, when Mark and his mom took Jinyoung away to Seoul, Jaebum went along with it. So, when Jinyoung Skyped him and told him with bright eyes about all the wonderful things in Seoul, Jaebum went along with it.

Jaebum wanted to keep playing the role of a supportive boyfriend, but Jaebum was only human. After a month of being miles away from Jinyoung, the doubts and self loathing started to creep in. Long distance in itself wasn't as bad as it seemed. The problem was Mark. Jaebum's skin crawled knowing that the boy who Jinyoung had been in love with was near him all the time. There was history there and Jaebum wasn't exactly blind to Mark's good looks.

Mark was devastatingly handsome with his lanky frame, chiseled face, and side swept brown hair.

Even though Jaebum disliked Mark from the start, it was really only because of his history with Jinyoung. In another universe him and Mark could have been good friends. Mark was not a terrible guy, at first he seemed a little reserved lingering outside the door of the cafe, but he actually turned to be quite bubbly and goofy once you talked to him. A contrast to Jaebum who tended to be a brooding thunderstorm with occasionally rays of sunlight peeking through. Jaebum's occasional bursts of playfulness were usually directed towards Jinyoung or brought out by Jinyoung. Mark on the other hand didn't need Jinyoung to bring out the light in him, he just was a cheerful, happy person on his own. Jaebum also couldn't see Jinyoung cutting himself on edges of Mark's personality, much unlike the way Jaebum knew he could cut Jinyoung with some of the sharper, more impulsive, and temperamental parts of himself. It really worried Jaebum, because at some point Jinyoung had been in love with everything about Mark and Jaebum was so different from Mark. How could Jinyoung possibly love someone who was so dissimilar from the boy he had idolized since childhood? It made Jaebum question what about himself had attracted Jinyoung in the first place.

Eventually Jaebum had enough of sitting around and waiting for Jinyoung to come back. If Jinyoung wasn't going to come to him, he would go to Jinyoung. Love never came easy, and for Jinyoung, Jaebum was willing to do anything. So with high hopes, Jaebum packed a few belongings haphazardly into a suitcase and took the earliest train to Seoul, bidding Jackson a quick goodbye and Youngjae's parting words being, "Go get him, hyung! I believe in you!"

Jaebum fanned himself under the glare of the sun as he stepped out of the train station. He waved over a taxi to take him directly to Jinyoung's apartment. After telling the taxi driver Jinyoung's address, the taxi driver gives him a once over and a dubious look. Jaebum bites back a sharp remark, he doesn't think he looks too shabby in his sweatpants, sure they're a little faded in color due to wear but they're his favorite pair! But once Jaebum steps into the lobby of Jinyoung's apartment building, he realizes why. It's like stepping into a new world. His worn down sneakers almost look offensive against the crisp, white marble flooring beneath his feet. Who knew if it was real marble, it might not be, but it at least looked expensive. He almost expects chandeliers when he gazes up at the ceiling, but instead there are contemporary lights, no doubt just as expensive, twinkling above his head. Everything looks like it's been polished and cleaned over 5 times, from the shiny leather arm chairs to the gleaming wood of the coffee tables.  It's quite an upgrade from Jaebum's dingy apartment complex with no elevator. There is even a doorman to lead him in the right direction to Jinyoung's apartment. He suddenly feels a little under dressed in his sweatpants and old suitcase, when everyone walking past him is dressed in button ups and slacks or flowy sundresses.

The minute Jaebum steps in the elevator, his hearts starts to race at an unsettling pace. He had been so confident leading up to this moment, but seeing the lifestyle Jinyoung is able to lead by staying Seoul, makes his insides queasy with uncertainty. He imagines Jinyoung's apartment most look as equally as nice or nicer than the lobby. Why would Jinyoung want to downgrade to Jaebum's measly little apartment when he had all of this in Seoul?

Jaebum's finger hovers over the elevators buttons, before hastily pressing the button for the 8th floor. He watches the numbers on the display slowly climb up, each passing floor causing his heart to beat faster and faster until all he can hear is the roar of his heartbeat easily drowning out the elevator music playing the background. He almost doesn't register the elevator comes to a stop. Although the hallway ahead is brightly lit, there is still an ominous feeling curling in Jaebum's belly as he steps out onto the dark red carpet in the hallway. His eyes dart nervously across the top of doors, searching for Jinyoung's number. By the time he reaches Jinyoung's door at the end of the hall, his suitcase could easily slip out of his hand from the sweat gathered in the folds of his palm.

The doubts resurface stronger than ever as Jaebum stands just outside Jinyoung's door. Maybe he shouldn't have done this on a whim, but he really needed to see Jinyoung. It had been too long. He feels suddenly guilty for not showing up with at least flowers or something, and curses his unromantic tendencies, but then again Jinyoung knew from the start that Jaebum wasn't always the perfect prince charming, he had his flaws.

Jaebum's need to see Jinyoung in flesh wins out over his fear, so he reaches out to knock on the door. There is no response for a few minutes, and Jaebum frowns, before knocking again, a little harder. He finally hears the faint sound of shuffling on the other side which must be Jinyoung on his way to the door. The thought just sends Jaebum into another frenzy of nerves and he finds himself trying to fix his hair and check his breath as if he's a young teenage boy about to go on his first date. That's what Park Jinyoung can reduce a man to.

The door creaks open, too fast and too slow at the same time for Jaebum's fragile heart, to reveal a surprised Jinyoung. He looks adorable with his round eyes gleaming up Jaebum as if he was a figment of Jinyoung's imagination. There's patches of stubble growing on his chin, and his hair has grown longer from the lack of a haircut, even his frame seems different, a little smaller as if he hasn't been eating properly. Still, Jaebum finds Jinyoung breathtakingly beautiful in the soft glow of his apartment light, fresh from sleep. It's taking Jaebum's brain a few moments to actual process that his boyfriend is standing just a few feet away from him, the closest they have been in months. It feels like a dream.

"Jaebum-ah," Jinyoung breathes out his name, voice airy, and suddenly Jaebum's previous jitters are gone, replaced with a warm feeling of calm spreading from his chest down to his toes. His laptop did not do Jinyoung's deep and smooth voice any justice. Overwhelmed, Jaebum steps forward to embrace him, "Jinyoungie.." Jaebum says, the longing exuding from his own voice.

There's a brief flash of movement in the background that catches Jaebum's attention, his eyes momentarily flicks over Jinyoung's shoulder, expecting to see nothing.

Instead, he's greeted with the sight of Mark. He sits up on the couch, blinking sleepily at Jaebum before his eyes widen with recognition. Just like that Jaebum's perfect reverie is shattered, and his world comes to a halting stop. All the pleasant feelings fluttering around inside of Jaebum dissipate within a second. Anger flares up through his body instead as he glares at Mark who looks too at home on Jinyoung's couch.

The previous warm in Jaebum's gaze is gone as he turns to Jinyoung, a question already brewing in his eyes. "Why is he here?" Jaebum bristles.

"I'll be leaving now, actually," Mark stammers before Jinyoung can answer. He scrambles to get up, quickly gathering his shoes and coat. Once he's found all his belongings, he almost trips in his rush to get to the door, sensing the increasing tension. But just before Mark reaches for the doorknob he whips around towards Jinyoung. Jinyoung looks both startled and frightened at Mark's sudden movement, a faint blush coloring his cheeks, only serving to anger Jaebum more.

"I'm really sorry about last night." Mark hesitates, eyes flitting over to Jaebum momentarily. It happens in less than a second, but it still makes Jaebum feels as if Mark was apologizing to him as well. Mark says nothing else, and slips out the door, leaving Jaebum and Jinyoung in an awkward silence.

Jaebum's mind spins at Mark's parting words, Why did he apologize? What did he do?  Jaebum takes in a slow, deep breath, willing himself to remain calm this time. Jinyoung clears his throat to fill the deafening silence, "Mark had a fight last night with his wife so he crashed here."

It's a simple and believable explanation, so it should pacify Jaebum. But Jaebum didn't miss the tension in Jinyoung's shoulders since he walked in, or the way Jinyoung can't seem to completely meet his eyes. Weeks of not seeing Jinyoung and of sitting in his depressing thoughts has Jaebum strung tight with paranoia.

"Why do you look guilty?" Jaebum prods. Jinyoung's mouth goes slack, surprised at Jaebum's skill to pick up on his small mannerisms. He gives Jaebum a long look. There's a debate going on in his eyes. Jinyoung opens his mouth to speak, but think better of it and closes it. "Well?" Jaebum rushes him, the growing impatience evident in his voice, "What is it?". The wait is eating at him. "What's got you so flustered, Jinyoung, hmm?" Jaebum knows he's just goading Jinyoung mercilessly now, but the lack of sleep has him running his mouth.

"I didn't cheat on you if that's what you're thinking," Jinyoung replies tersely and finally meets his eyes.

"That's not what I meant," Jaebum flushes, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his wild thoughts, "But you still haven't answered my question."

Jinyoung deflates and runs a hand through his hair in exasperation, "Mark was really drunk last night after the fight, and he um," Jinyoung pauses looking suddenly fearful, "You have to understand he didn't know what he was doing. He was drunk." Jaebum's stomach sinks at the thought of Mark drunk and alone with Jinyoung in a room. Jaebum waits for Jinyoung to continue with his sanity balanced on the edge of a cliff.

"He, um, he tried to kiss me." 

Jaebum's sanity tips over the edge.

"He what?" Jaebum growls, blood pressure spiking and his hands unconsciously clench at his sides. I knew it, I knew Mark couldn't be trusted. I'm an idiot.

"B-but I pushed him away in time," Jinyoung splutters in a panic. He adds meekly, "He didn't get to do anything, and he eventually fell asleep."

Jaebum's jaw aches from the way he's grinding his teeth together, trying to pull himself together. He grabs Jinyoung by the elbows, tugging him forward, "Did he hurt you?" He demands.

Jinyoung is only an inch or two shorter than him, but in that moment he looks so small as he looks up to Jaebum with wide, terrified eyes. A little voice in the back of his head is telling him to stop acting like this before someone get hurts, but the anger is overcrowding it.

"No!" Jinyoung says, voice going shrill, "Mark would never do that."

Jaebum scoffs, his grip on Jinyoung's elbows growing tighter as the ugly feeling of jealousy creeps into him, "Are you defending him?"

"It was an honest mistake. He won't do it again." Jinyoung argues, trying to tug his arms free. "How do you know?" Jaebum holds on tighter, shaking him gently.

Jinyoung finally manages to escape his grip, and says calmly while looking at the floor. "I don't. But I do want to forget about it. So, please let's put this behind us."

"How?" Jaebum raises his voice slightly, "How the am I suppose to dismiss the fact that the guy you use to be in love with since you were a kid, tried to kiss you? Does that sound reasonable to you?"

"Jaebum," Jinyoung places a cautious hand on his arm, but Jaebum shrugs it off a little too harshly. Jinyoung frowns at him, beginning to feel his own anger rising, "It meant nothing!"

"But what if meant something to him!" Jaebum counters.

"That doesn't matter, because I love you!" Jinyoung yells back, "Except you can't seem to get that through that thick skull of yours." Jinyoung finishes, chest heaving.

Jaebum's traitorous heart leaps at the blatant confession, and it's almost a reflex to want to say I love you back, but the stubborn part of him keeps his mouth shut. Jaebum stares at the curtains of Jinyoung's windows, slivers of sunlight falling onto the shiny wood floors. Which of course makes Jaebum notice how nice Jinyoung apartment and the old doubts twist in his gut. He feels the bile rise in his throat, What if loving each other isn't enough? What if you realize I'm not worth dropping everything you have?

Jinyoung seems to notice Jaebum's wandering mind, because he's stepping into his space and reaching for Jaebum's hands to intertwine their fingers together. Despite the anger still bubbling in the pit of Jaebum's stomach, he's become too tired to push Jinyoung away. He still refuses to meet Jinyoung's eyes and glares at the ground. Jinyoung's voice is softer when he speaks, "Please, look at me." Jaebum feels a gentle finger lift his chin up and his heart squeezes when he meets Jinyoung's watery eyes. He wants to hit himself for being the reason behind the pain in them.

Jaebum's face remains impassive on the outside, but that doesn't deter Jinyoung. "I don't think Mark meant any real harm. You saw him apologize on the way out. He's probably beating himself up about it as we speak. Please, just forget it ever happened. That's what I'm going to do too. You know why? Because it doesn't matter." Jinyoung repeats and tilts his face forward until their foreheads rest against each other. Jaebum's breath hitches, he's conflicted between standing his ground and remaining angry, or melting into Jinyoung's touch.

Jinyoung continues, "All that matters right now, is that you're here with me." Jinyoung lifts both of Jaebum's hands to his lips and kiss each one, Jaebum feels the love inside him burning, scorching his insides. "I've missed you so much." Jinyoung squeezes his hands, and leaned up to press a gentle kiss on Jaebum's tensed jaw. The fire burns hotter, until Jaebum worries he'll suffocate from it, but he finds himself thinking he wouldn't mind.

Although, a little voice tells Jaebum to persist and get to the bottom of this, he doesn't want to keep thinking about Mark. He's too exhausted. Right now, he just wants to focus on Jinyoung.

"I've missed you too," Jaebum murmurs, his stoic expression finally melting into something softer and Jinyoung looks incredibly relieved at Jaebum's change of heart. He immediately sags against Jaebum's body.

"But Mark in the living room with your clothes on was not a nice surprise to receive," Jaebum can't help but jab.

Jinyoung sighs, "I know, I'm sorry. happens." He ducks his head into the crook of Jaebum's neck and wraps his arms around Jaebum's torso, "I'm just happy you're here."

Jaebum rubs Jinyoung's back, "So am I." He focuses on the feeling of Jinyoung hair's tickling his chin, on Jinyoung's steady breath warming up his neck, on the lavender scent of his clothes, and soon everything begins to feel alright again. They remain in that position for a few seconds, just enjoying each other's warmth.

Eventually, Jaebum's stomach rudely interrupts their serenity with a rumble. Jinyoung's giggles into his neck, "Come on, help me make breakfast." Jinyoung pulls him into his kitchen by the hand. Jaebum takes note of the gleaming surface of his counter tops and the stainless steel refrigerator. Jaebum whistles lowly, "You're really living the life, Jinyoungie. Even your kitchen is more expensive than my entire apartment."

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, searching through the cabinets, "Don't exaggerate. It's not that extravagant." Jaebum begs to differ, but then again he is use to a kitchen filled with appliances that probably belong more in the junkyard than his home. Jaebum was never one to upgrade his items, he was content with what he had.

"I'm out of instant coffee, so I'll run to the corner store really quick. You can wait here." Jinyoung says, already reaching for his coat on the hanger. Jaebum stops him midway, "I can go get it."

"Are you sure?" Jinyoung questions, "You might get lost."

"Nah, I saw a corner store on my way here. It'll be easier if I go. You can get started on breakfast." Jaebum offers.

"Alright, if you're sure." Jinyoung quickly pecks him on the cheek, before sending him off.

The door jingles behind Jaebum as he walks into the store. He squints under the assault of the bright fluorescent lights, in order to scan the aisles until he finds the coffee section. The coffee aisle is empty except for a lone man, slumped over in a grey hoodie that obscures his profile. Jaebum sees Jinyoung's favorite brand of instant coffee on a shelf next to the stranger's head, so Jaebum begins to walks towards him. He is about a foot away when the stranger turns his head ever so slightly to look to at the shelves on his left. The stranger is suddenly not a stranger anymore. It's Mark.

Jaebum freezes mid walk. At the sight of Mark, Jaebum feels like fighting. The all familiar feeling of white hot rage crackles in his chest. He wants to yank Mark towards him and shake him, demand why he tried to kiss his boyfriend, demand why he's being selfish when he already has wife. Why does he want Jinyoung too? But Jinyoung's disappointed face flashes in his mind. Instead, he takes a deep breath and walks up next to Mark on the right to stare at the display too.

"Why'd you do it?" Jaebum says in a strangely, almost frighteningly so, calm voice. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Mark's head whip towards him. He splutters, "W-what?"

"Why'd you try to kiss him?" Jaebum keeps his eyes trained on the display, knowing that if he looks directly at Mark he might try to punch him.

"He told you didn't he." Mark sighs. "That's so Jinyoung. Keeping his conscious clean." It's a small comment, but it still irks Jaebum to know there is someone else who knows Jinyoung's little habits as well as he does. It's a reminder of how deep Mark and Jinyoung's friendship is, which in some ways is a sweet thing to think about, but it only leaves a bitter aftertaste in Jaebum's mouth.

"I know you want a definite answer, but I don't have one. I want to say it was just because I was terribly drunk. But we both know that's a terrible excuse...and the alternative scares me." The sincerity in Mark's voice startles Jaebum.

He gulps, finally turning his head towards Mark's, "What's the alternative?"

Mark's eyes search his own, the silence between them growing heavier and heavier. ""I don't want to think that's its my repressed feelings for him as a kid resurfacing." Mark's face twists soon after his confession, as if the words had been physically painfully to say out loud.

Jaebum's blood chills in his veins. The hustle and bustle of the grocery store around him is drowned out by the sound of the tidal waves crashing in his mind. He sees Jinyoung, like water, slipping through fingers as he tries to catch it. It's over. It's over. This is it. His mind chants as he chokes out, "You have feelings for him?"

Mark turns his face away in shame, "I did."

Jaebum is scared to know, but he asks anyway, "What about now?"

"I don't know that yet."

Jaebum snaps, his temper rising like the shore at high tide. "What do you mean yet?  You had your chance years ago. You're married now. It's not fair to ask for Jinyoung too." Jaebum fists his hand into the front of Mark's sweater to haul him closer, splotches of red blossom on Mark's cheek out of embarrassment at being manhandled in public, "You can't take him away from me." It's more of a plead than a command.

Mark's pries Jaebum's hand off with a steely grip. His only reply is, "I'm sorry." With that Mark walks away, leaving Jaebum trembling in a combination of rage and fear.

Jaebum arrives back at Jinyoung's apartment with a heavy heart. He dumps the bags from the corner store wordlessly onto the counter by Jinyoung, who is pouring hot water into two coffee mugs. Jinyoung doesn't notice his brooding mood and murmurs a quick thanks before continuing to hum an old tune under his breath as he bustles around the kitchen to finish the coffee. Jaebum observes him in the kitchen from his position against the counter. It forms the perfect domestic picture, but Jaebum can't have him.

Jinyoung stirs in a spoonful of sugar before handing a cup to Jaebum with a warm smile that reaches his eyes. "Here, you must be tired." Jinyoung's fingers linger around his hands, and then travel to rest comfortably on Jaebum's hips when Jaebum takes the cup. Usually Jinyoung's touch fills him with lingering warmth, but instead he feels sick. He's not yours, he's not yours. His mind scolds him.

"I don't think you should keep seeing Mark," Jaebum blurts out. He doesn't want to lose Jinyoung, he can't, he can't.

Jinyoung's smile slips from his face, "W-what?"

"He has other intentions, Jinyoung." Jaebum grips the hand on his waist, "I ran into him at the store and he confessed that he use to have feelings for you. They could come back." Jaebum expects Jinyoung to look shocked at the revelation, or even show the slightest hint of surprise, but Jinyoung's face remains grim and ashen instead.

A cold realization dawns on Jaebum, "You knew already didn't you?" Jaebum steps away from Jinyoung's touch, "You knew that Mark use to like you when he tried to kiss you, and you told me it meant nothing."

"Jaebum-"

"How could you not tell me something so important?" Jaebum raises his voice, feeling betrayed once again.

"Because I knew you would react like this." Jinyoung retorts, face turning red.

Jaebum scoffs, voice growing louder still, "How else am I suppose to react when you guys almost kiss while their still feelings involved!?!"

"But there isn't!" Jinyoung exclaims exasperated, "It's all a misunderstanding-"

"Stop," Jaebum puts his hand up, "Don't keep dismissing it. I'm serious I don't want you to keep seeing Mark."

Jinyoung begins to look frustrated with where their conversation is headed, "Are you kidding me? You can't expect me to just stop being friends with Mark over this. That's ridiculous."

"Yes I do! Imagine how I feel Jinyoung right now, just put yourself in my shoes!" Jaebum explodes. The hurt building in his chest for the past few months finally bleeding through.

"This is difficult for me too!" Jinyoung cries out in a desperate attempt to defend himself.

"It's difficult for you?" Jaebum tone is half mocking, half disbelief. "Why?"

Jinyoung gives him an incredulous look, as if he's offended by the question, "Mark is my best friend. He helped me while I was getting beaten up every week by step father when I was young. He helped me stop being disgusted by my own uality. He helped me through insecurities and first times. And-and you want to me to just drop him like he's nothing, in a way that would hurt both of us!"

Jaebum swallows the impending protests that were waiting on his tongue. All of what Jinyoung was saying was true, it made sense, and it only made him hate himself more for feeling envious of the important role Mark had played in Jinyoung's life before him. This would be a good time to stop the fight, but Jaebum's own insecurities cause the following harsh words to rush out of his mouth before he can stop them, "Are you saying he's more important than me? Do you feel more strongly for him than me?

Jinyoung's face crumbles, lips trembling. "Don't do this. I thought we were done interrogating my feelings, Jaebum."

"No we are not!" Jaebum slams his hand against the counter top. "Not when Mark just told me he might still like you, and you are spewing out how much he matters to you!"

"Jesus, Jaebum." Jinyoung groans, mouth twisted into something sour, "That wasn't meant to make you feel inferior. I just want you to understand the position you're putting me in. There must be another solution besides dropping Mark. He'll get over whatever happened last night. This will all blow over." Jinyoung babbles on, "Mark is just confused." 

Jaebum's body flushes with renewed anger, hearing Jinyoung's dismissive tone, "Will you stop avoiding the problem! You have to face the fact Mark might be in love with you, and you have to figure out how you feel about it and give me an actual answer instead of stringing me along, expecting me to be okay with this little game. It was just an almost-kiss this time, but what if it goes further next time!"

Jinyoung recoils, gritting out through his teeth, "Do you really think so lowly of me?"

Jaebum remains unwavering under his glare, "That's not my point. My point is that I'm a little tired of competing with Mark, and feeling like I might be a second choice because you two didn't work out."

The anger on Jinyoung's face melts away to reveal something more vulnerable and raw. He looks downright terrified, "W-w-what do you mean tired?"

Jaebum deflects with his own question, "Who is more important to you?"

Jinyoung looks so lost, tears welling up quickly in his bloodshot eyes, "Oh god, you can't be serious about making me choose between you two?"

"I'm dead serious." Jaebum says mercilessly. "You said the feelings left with the memories, but how can I be sure, when you don't seem so sure yourself."

The tears begin to slip and leave track down Jinyoung's cheeks. Jaebum feels his own eyes prickling with heat. "I-I told you I love you, why can't you believe that?"

"You've hidden so much from me already, Jinyoung. I'm scared." Jaebum says truthfully. He clasps his hands over his mouth, trying to collect himself from breaking down. Jinyoung is past that point and his shoulders are shaking with silent sobs. "I think I need to go right now."

Jinyoung immediately looks alert again. He rushes forwards to grip tightly at Jaebum's wrist. "Where will you go?"

"I don't know, I just need to think for a bit." Jaebum avoids looking Jinyoung in the eyes because he's knows his resolve will crumble once he sees the mess his boyfriend is right now. He can feel the way Jinyoung's hands shake around his wrist as he says, "W-wait, Jaebum, wait just a minute."

Jaebum just shakes his head and heads to the door, but Jinyoung stills holds on tightly. His words are barely coherently through his sobs, "Wait. Wait. D-don't go. Let's talk more about this. J-Jaebum, Jaebum!"

It breaks Jaebum heart as he pries himself out of Jinyoung's grip and closes the door on his wrecked face. But he needs to leave before they say nastier things to each other. He still hears the muffled cries on the other end of the door and he has to use all his strength to will his feet to move away from it. It's only when Jaebum's reached the elevator that his own tears begin to cascade down his face like a heavy downpour.

Jaebum finds himself in a coffee shop a few blocks down from Jinyoung's apartment building. He orders a large steaming coffee and a chocolate croissant. There's a strong, unpleasant, overbearing ache in his heart left over from the fight he just had with Jinyoung. He didn't mean to leave so abruptly. To be honest, he never wanted to leave Jinyoung's side in the first place, but their argument wasn't going anywhere good anytime soon. He had to step out before too much hurt was built up.

Still the image of Jinyoung's tear streaked and devastated face is seared into his mind, and Jaebum itches to run back into his arms. But he also knows that they need this distance right now. He needs to make it clear that he can't take anymore wishy washiness from Jinyoung. What he needs is a solid answer about his place and Mark's place in Jinyoung's life. No more lies, cover ups, or misunderstandings. Just the truth.

Jaebum wallows in his own self pity for a while until his fingers are reaching to call Jackson.

Jackson sounds surprised when he picks up, probably assuming Jaebum would be occupied with Jinyoung at this point, "Is everything alright, hyung?" Jackson's tinny, yet comforting voice comes through his cheap phone speaker.

"No." Is all Jaebum says, and since they've been friends for a long time, Jackson instinctively knows when Jaebum is upset. Jaebum hears Jackson step away for a second and faintly call out to Bambam to tend the register while he's busy.

"I'm all ears." Jackson replies after a few seconds.

Jaebum takes a deep breath before breaking everything down to Jackson. He lets out everything from what he's been feeling since Jinyoung went back to Seoul, to seeing Mark in Jinyoung's apartment, to the horrible fight after, and all the complications involved. Jackson lets out a low whistle at the end of his sphiel. The pity evident in his voice, "Oh hyung..."

Jaebum powers through, not being able to stop talking, "I don't know what to do. I don't want to mess things up. But I think I already have."

"Well, I think it was good you stood up for yourself, and explained how much you've been suffering to Jinyoung." Jackson reassures him. "But, I also think it might have been a move to tell Jinyoung to completely stop seeing Mark. I know you hate to hear this. But they have been best friends for almost their entire lives."

Jaebum sighs, tiredly rubbing his eyes, "I panicked. I was heated after talking to Mark, I couldn't think of anything else to say or do."

"Which makes sense," Jackson again reassures him, "I'm sure Mark is a good person outside of this situation, like Jinyoung has described. But right now he's being pretty selfish and unreasonable right now. Jinyoung needs to see that and be more understanding."

"Exactly!" Jaebum declares.

"Wait."

"I can feel the 'but' coming."

Jackson chuckles before continuing, "You also need to learn to trust in Jinyoung more. I know that after the difficulties with your parents kicking you out, you have trust issues. But I'm sure Jinyoung is trying his hardest to sort the mess in his head. He loves you, Jaebum. I've seen it. You need to trust that more than ever, because it's the only thing that will help you guys through this. Oh, and control your temper, man."

"I guess, you're right." Jaebum grumbles into his coffee.

"Of course I am." Jackson says confidently. "Both of you are at fault here, therefore both of you have something to work on. I'll talk to Jinyoung as well, if you don't mind."

Jaebum nibbles on his lip, "If you think it'll help. Do you think I should go back now?"

"No, not yet. You guys need time to process what's happened. Wander around Seoul for a bit, it's a great city. Take time for yourself, and then go back. Then you can talk calmly, like true adults."

"Alright. Thank you Jackson. I'll talk to you later." Jaebum says sincerely, wondering what he would ever do without his best friend - probably self sabotage.

"No problem. And hey, you're not coming back to the cafe unless you've reconciled with Jinyoung." Jackson insists before hanging up. Jaebum pockets his phone, feeling a little more at peace. He heads out of the cafe, ready to distract himself for a bit by wandering the streets.

By the time Jaebum is on his way back to Jinyoung's apartment, he has several missed calls lined up on his phone and it was almost nightfall. He had spent hours wandering through little shops and stopping by a local park to take some pictures of blossoming flowers on his phone. It was nice to let go of his troubling thoughts for a bit, but now he was ready to face Jinyoung again.

When Jaebum arrives at Jinyoung's door, he finds it unlocked, as if Jinyoung was waiting or at least hoping Jaebum would come back. He creaks the door open ever so slowly. The apartment is shrouded in darkness, with only the rising moon providing some light into the living room. Jinyoung is fast asleep on the couch, wearing the same clothes from this morning. He has his phone in a deadly grip, which Jaebum gently pries away from him. It looks like he's been calling his mom, and Jaebum wonders if Jinyoung had a similar conversation to the one he had with Jackson.

Jaebum lifts Jinyoung up from the couch, bridal style, into his arms. He eventually finds Jinyoung's bedroom in the darkness, and as carefully as possible sets him on the bed. Jinyoung lets out a soft sigh, and Jaebum freezes, worrying he's disrupted the other's sleep. But Jinyoung just curls back on himself and continues to doze off. Jaebum breathes a sigh of relief. They'll probably be better off talking tomorrow morning. He debates retreating to the couch to sleep, and eventually decides to indulge himself by settling onto the bed a foot away from Jinyoung. Sleep begins to claim Jaebum as soon as his head hits the pillow.

It's around 3 am, when there's movement from one end of the bed that causes Jaebum to blearily open his eyes for a second before shutting them closed again. He thinks he might have seen a glimpse of Jinyoung's back sitting up, but he's so tired he doesn't open his eyes again to investigate further. Jaebum's mind floats in the space between consciousness and unconsciousness.

There's the slightest hint of a voice speaking. He barely makes out the words, as it sounds muffled, but it sounds somewhat like Jinyoung.

"I know there's a lot to work on, but I choose you, Jaebum. I love you too much to lose you, and I think I'll love you forever."

Jaebum's feels something soft brush across his forehead. His drowsy mind registers this all as part of a dream, even if it isn't. And it's not long before Jaebum is once again succumbing to sleep's clutches. 

Well that was a wild ride, right?

We are getting closer to the end, I think just 2 or 3 chapters more (the pain is almost over), maybe an epilogue.