Chanyeol was confused. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He didn’t know where these feelings were coming from and he didn’t know how to stop them. His life was perfectly normal before a certain pink haired singer had entered his life – well, as normal as life can be for an idol.

But now, looking at the certain pink haired singer’s adorable face as he slept in the car, he didn’t know what to think. Or do. He felt like he should do something, but he felt like he had two separate brains. Like there was another Chanyeol in his mind telling him what to do, but his brain was telling him something else.

Other Chanyeol was telling him to hug the other, squeeze him close and never let anyone else do the same, but his brain was telling him to ignore the other Chanyeol, be rational. Guys don’t think that about other guys. It’s not right. Or is it?

Crap, this other Chanyeol is really starting to get on his nerves. He doesn’t have time to be thinking about stupid stuff like this. Their album was being released in under an hour and they were almost back at the dorm.

He should probably wake Baekhyun up. That’ll probably also get rid of the urge to hug the smaller.

Maybe he just wants to hug him because he resembles Rilakkuma? That has to be it. There’s no way Chanyeol actually has a crush on Baekhyun. Nope. He’s not gay – never will be.

But what if he is?

Nope. No. Not going there. Not today. Not ever. Nope. That other Chanyeol is really testing his patience.

“What’s wrong with you, Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asked from the back seat when he noticed the rapper’s unusually flushed face and his clenched fists.

Chanyeol snapped out of his thoughts and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oh, nothing. Just thinking about something.”

Kyungsoo gave him an odd look before returning to his hushed conversation with Junmyeon about something Chanyeol really wasn’t all that interested in.

He nudged the small male sleeping next to him, not before pausing to take in the other’s appearance, trying to ingrain the image of him sleeping with his lips parted slightly, small hands clutching almost desperately onto his seatbelt, the puffy fur hood of his jacket making him look all cute and fluffy.

Okay, there’s officially something wrong with me. He thought, and decided to pretend it wasn’t him that nudged Baekhyun awake so he wouldn’t have to talk to the younger. He needed to sort out whatever the hell was going on in his head before speaking to anyone.

He can’t be gay. Even if the members accepted it, his parents and the fans wouldn’t – oh man, the fans would be devastated. The entire group would be damaged. But what if he is? How’s he supposed to hide it?

Chanyeol was trapped in his thoughts for the entire night. He didn’t bother participating in the cheers when their album did extremely well. He was too caught up in… Whatever it is that’s happening to him.

He hardly spoke to anyone throughout the entire week following the release, only on stage did he make any contact with the other members. Except Baekhyun, despite following the younger with his eyes, he never made any attempts to talk to him in fear of blurting out everything he’s been struggling with.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, was feeling very upset. Ever since the showcase Chanyeol hadn’t been speaking to him at all. He’d see the rapper staring at him occasionally, with an unreadable expression on his face but he never once spoke to him. The pink-haired singer was beginning to think he’d done something wrong. Why was Chanyeol ignoring him? Was he angry over something he said? Something he did? Baekhyun tries exceptionally hard to think of something he’d done that might’ve angered the other but he can’t.

The others noticed, too, but chose not to say anything about it. He hadn’t really been speaking to anyone. They figured that Chanyeol was just having a bad week and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. It was something they all dealt with sometimes.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, seriously began to believe it was his fault.

Their schedules were busy. With Music Bank and MCountdown performances of their new songs left right and centre, they didn’t really have a lot of spare time, and when they did they usually just slept.

Even so, they still made time to talk to one another. Well, most of them did.

It was around three in the morning, they had a live performance tomorrow and Baekhyun couldn’t sleep. He was overthinking everything. He thought that maybe Chanyeol didn’t actually like him and he had just been faking it this whole time. No one else liked him, so why would Chanyeol be any different? Does that mean the rest of EXO hates him, too?

Tears welled up in his eyes and he didn’t bother trying to hold them back. He made no noise as he cried, simply stared at the ground and let the salty tears run down his cheeks endlessly.

The tears finally came to a stop after about ten minutes. Not because he was no longer sad, but because he’d run out of tears to shed.

It was at that moment that Kyungsoo stumbled his way into the living room.

He paused when he saw Baekhyun’s unmoving figure on the couch and smiled drowsily. Thinking the male had fallen asleep sitting up, he walked over to him with the intentions of covering him with the blanket. He wasn’t expecting to see an expressionless, tear-stained face staring blankly ahead, seemingly not even noticing Kyungsoo there.

“Baek?” He called once, concern lacing his tone.

His voice seemed to snap the other out of whatever trance he was in and the younger turned to Kyungsoo with a bright smile.

“Hey, Soo.” He spoke, and the sadness in his voice was unmistakeable.

Kyungsoo approached him further and sat down next to him.

“What’s wrong, Baekhyun? Why were you crying?” He asked, his eyes running over the other’s body to check for any possible injuries that could have been the source of his tears.

Baekhyun smiled sadly at Kyungsoo.

“Do you hate me, Soo?” He questioned, and the older male blinked in confusion at his question.

Kyungsoo shook his head, “No. Why would you think that?” He asked.

Baekhyun averted his eyes to his hands, the sad smile not leaving his features.

“Well, Chanyeol does, and so do the fans. I figured everyone else does, too.” He explained, and before Kyungsoo could deny anything he continued. “Is it because I’m dumb, Soo? Is that why no one likes me? I’ll try to be smarter, I promise.”

Kyungsoo’s own eyes welled with tears at the pink-haired boy’s words and the other’s eyes doing the same. How could he think such a thing? Who told him Chanyeol hates him? Who told him the fans hate him? Sure, some do, but they all have haters. It’s inevitable in a profession such as this. This boy, this wonderful, sweet, loveable boy thinks everyone hates him because of his disability. It makes Kyungsoo angry, honestly. The world is such a cruel place, and people like Baekhyun are like a breath of fresh air – especially to people like idols who experience a lot of such cruelty. Baekhyun, someone who has already experience so much heartache in his short life yet continues to save others from things they didn’t know they needed saving from, thinks everyone hates him.

His fists were clenched and his face flushed in anger and frustration, but he calmed down the minute he took in the other’s figure.

Baekhyun was shaking, his eyes still hadn’t left his, and the tears that had welled up had begun to fall, staining the cheeks that had been stained already.

“Who told you that, Byun Baekhyun? Who is the piece of trash that told you we hate you? Who said Chanyeol hates you? Who said the fans hate you?” He urged, taking Baekhyun’s small hands in his gently.

The smaller singer was quiet, not even making sounds as he cried apart from the occasional sniffles.

“Who was it, Baek?” He urged again, not taking his eyes away from the other’s.

“N-no one said it. I… I just figured it out.” He finally answered.

Kyungsoo looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Baekhyun bit his lip. “Well… Chanyeol doesn’t talk to me anymore. A-and… I know the fans don’t like me… I guess – I guess I just assumed…” He trailed off.

He tightened his grip on Baekhyun’s soft hands.

“Look, sweetie. Chanyeol doesn’t hate you. He hasn’t really been talking to any of us, honestly. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he doesn’t hate you, okay?” Baekhyun didn’t look convinced, so he continued. “If he hated you, would he have bought you this?” Kyungsoo asked, gesturing to the Rilakkuma bracelet on his wrist. “If he hated you, would he have spent so much time with you, composed with you, laughed with you, protected you?”

The smaller slowly shook his head, tears now flowing faster.

“None of us hate you, Baekhyun. The fans don’t, either. Ever since you joined you’ve become one of the most popular members among the group. I’ll admit that some of us were kind of envious that you are so well liked, but we know how the fans feel. We all love you so much, Baek. We really do.” He added with a comforting smile. “You haven’t slept at all tonight, have you?” he asked when he noticed the bags under his eyes.

Baekhyun shook his head again, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to form words without becoming a blubbering mess.

“Come here.” Kyungsoo ordered and patted his lap, and Baekhyun gave him a weak smile before resting his head on the elder’s lap, allowing him to run his fingers through the pink locks as he did so often.

“When I first came in here, you were smiling,” Kyungsoo spoke after a few moments of silence, knowing that Baekhyun was still not asleep. “Why were you smiling if you were upset, Baek?” Kyungsoo asked, not stopping his ministrations.

Baekhyun was quiet for a moment before replying.

“It’s easier to smile than explain why I’m sad.”

With that, Baekhyun fell asleep and Kyungsoo’s heart broke.