author: LUVkookietae // reviewer: Suhyo07 // date of review: 10.09.17

Title [ 5/5 ]
The title has several different meanings, from what I've seen. First of all, this is a reference to the song that Taehyung gifted Jungkook, which in a way is considered Tae's last dying wish entrusted to Jungkook, something that plays a huge part in the story. This is also an ironic (?) word because Jungkook can see a symphony of things in the world but can hear nothing of it. Then he got Tae's presents and hear the world once more, loud and clear. The title is contradictory in itself, but also has a huge link to the story. While it might be slightly overrused or wouldn't easily catch a reader's attention, once they finished reading the fic I daresay it would make huge sense. 

Description/Foreword [ 6/10]
Your description was really touching, and it is a seemingly innocent description which has a haunting underlying meaning, that you foreshadow as well. Well done on that, but I have some issues about your foreword. While it is acceptable to promote your stories by linking the posters to your written works, I'm not too sure about the sentence at the start of your foreword. When I first read your description, I was like, okay, this should be a really beautiful fic with lots and lots of descriptive writing and overwhelming emotions - something like that, but then I read your foreword, and somehow it seems more casual compared to your description? Like there's a more carefree feel to it. It frankly breaks your mood and the atmosphere of the story, so maybe you can consider changing that. 

Plot [ 14/20 ]

The idea of the plot was well thought out - it was also really well written, which I'm happy about. The of the plot, as well as the shock that Jungkook received when his crush wasn't whom he thought it would be - there are several things which catch the reader's attention, and I would like to say good job to you about it. 

However. There are a few things that I'm questioning as I read, mainly because you have a few plot holes that are frankly too large to ignore. For one, the fact that Jungkook is an artist. While you have largely hinted at it throughout the story, I'm curious as to why or how he became an artist. Did he do it in order to fill his world with bright and vibrant colours to cover up the emptiness of silence? Or did he do it as a hobby? If it's important to your overall plot - emphasis more on it. If not, then drop a few hints at his art background, so readers can properly understand Jungkook. 

Another would be the mention of Taehyung as Jungkook's older brother. At this point I'm very confused because some places aren't really that clear either - did the deep voice belong to Taehyung? If it did, then how did he notice the truck zooming towards them as everyone was supposed to be on their cellphones? While being vague is a good point, sometimes being too vague can be quite confusing. Back to main point. The moment when the police went to tell Jungkook about Taehyung's death, the officers mentioned him as the younger brother of the deceased. If then, why was Taehyung Jungkook's older brother? How did it happen? Emphasis. If they're really foster brothers, and Jungkook had seen Taehyung as more of a blood brother than a friend or mere hyung, then it might lead to territory. 

Third and finally, how did Miss Gayoung know Jungkook? Why did she visit him? How did Jungkook learn to play the piano when he is deaf, and couldn't hear the notes? Why did Jungkook learn the piano when he was supposed to assume the character of an artist instead? While you did hint that the sheet music Mr Moon gave Taehyung was for Jungkook, I'm assuming that Taehyung was to play the piece for the younger, but that felt slightly wrong since he couldn't hear. Which brings us to the restuarant, where he orders to have music played. Again, Jungkook couldn't hear. He could see the pianist's fingers dancing on the keyboard, but what was the use if he couldn't hear? And what do Jungkook and Taehyung sleep on the same bed since Taehyung was used to the strawberry shampoo smelling sheets instead? 

Otherwise, the flow of the story was quite well - it isn't too rushed, nor is it too slow; to me, the flow was perfect. The development of the plot and characters are written at a reasonable pace. Excellent. 

Character Development [ 18/20 ]

First of all, I really liked the fact that you made Jungkook deaf and mute; he really stood out as an individual; even without words. Rather, the lack of dialogue causes his actions and emotions stand out even more. 

So the first character to review is Jungkook. As said above, the face that he's mute and deaf makes him stand out a lot. He also has a curious and childish side to him that you showed through his actions. I could also see the poor boy being torn between the two roommates which live along with him, which you pulled offf without it being too cliche or too cringeworthy, and at times which his feelings for Taehyung over You also described him as being broken without actually highlighting the fact that he is broken, and - how do I say it - he has two sides to him which is his broken side and his other side which smiles and is happy for Taehyung. However, I do have a question - again, is Taehyung considered as Jungkook's older brother? Because I'm really curious - you had hinted about it throughout the chapter and I really want to know. 

Taehyung, well, he's the guardian/brother figure to Jungkook, yet at the same time he really loves him, and because he cares, he wants Jungkook to be happy...right? Like I said earlier, some of their relations were slightly confusing, but I liked his characterisation as well. Besides the romance plotline, there was another plotline in progress - his struggling of whether to attend his dream school, and to leave his beloved. Taehyung also showed signs of struggle in the story, and his feelings to hold back were clear. Through his actions, you displayed him as a sort of hesitant fellow, putting Jungkook before everything, which clearly showed his love for the younger boy.

Jimin - oh I love him. Not him, but his characterisation, mostly because he's the bastard out of the characters - he is a barrier for Jungkook and Taehyung being together, he had his own way with the younger etc etc. He's an abusive character as well - yet Jungkook doesn't notice. I don't know why, but I really like him :) 

Overall, I would say that your characterisation is done really well. The reason why I knocked a few points off is because some parts of it wasn't quite realistic; their backgrounds didn't quite match, as somehow the development of their growth and backgrounds are a bit strange. For example, again, the relationship of Taehyung and Jungkook. And while you mentioned Taehyung remembering Jimin as 'the whiny boy who stole his lollipop...', somehow the two didn't really show signs of knowing each other or were close in any way? Perhaps you can elaborate on that?

Grammar & Spelling [ 15/20 ]

I have to say, I'm impressed with your grammar because quite some authors tend to make mistakes with their tenses and whatnot. However, there were a few mistakes scattered here and there throughout your story. 

For example, there was a slight problem with your plural forms; in the fifth paragraph, you wrote: '...there was hardly any good-looking boys in the orphanage' when it should be '...there were hardly any good-looking boys in the orphanage'. Also, during Taehyung and Jungkook's conversation; "Lot of work" should be changed to "Lots of work".

There are some places where your vocabulary wasn't quite accurate for the sentence; one example would be 'Taehyung was good enough at sign-language to know Jungkook's speed-actions'. Instead of 'know', you can use 'read' instead, so it wouldn't be too repetitive as the word 'know' is used on the next line as well. 

Prepositions; 'Hoseok hyung decided to hop on the cafeteria table', but 'onto' would be more suitable for this sentence. Another mistake found here; "leaving Taehyung to empty silence", which should be "leaving Taehyung in empty silence". Also; 'chucking everything in his backpack' should be changed to 'chucking everything into his backpack'. 'Trailing his torso' to 'trailing down his torso', unless you're talking about him tracing patterns on his skin; in which you should emphasis on.

Where Jimin was shown to be patting Jungkook's head, unless there were other actions being done by the other hand, I would recommend you not to use 'one of' and instead either his left or right, or simply 'his hand'. 

'Then he could' should be changed to 'then he would'. 'Could' means a capability of doing something, but if you use 'would', then the ability to do so would be more definite, and hence, stronger. 

There were other mistakes as well, but most of them were slight and generally overlooked by most of the readers. Another issue I have with your story; I understand that, since there are three male characters, it would be hard to keep saying 'he', 'his' or 'him' constantly, but the repetition of the characters' names are too much. Try replacing their names with 'the older', 'the younger', 'the youngest', 'the oldest', 'the boy', 'the man', even 'the musician/artist' if you want. 

Formatting & Structure [ 14/20 ] 

The pace of the story, as I think I'd mentioned before, was perfect for the story, and it makes the character developments unfold nicely, so as to leave suspense for the readers, while carrying out the main plot. What I've mentioned above in the plots section were what caused some points to be deducted, so pay attention to those. 

Also, personally I think the message at the end was rather unneeded - I mean, you could've written Korean instead since there weren't many here who could understand Korean or Chinese, so it wouldn't make too much of a difference. 

Lastly, while your writing was really well done and descriptive, somehow something felt left out; the scenes weren't really too realistic, and some of the characters weren't either (i.e. Miss Gayoung). What I'm trying to say was, maybe you could add more details on their dialogues, their actions? Because I think those are what really defines a character, and while you don't need too much of it, there were places where it quite lacked. 

Personal Enjoyment [ 3/5 ]

Personally, while I was a huge fan of BTS' before, - I'll be honest with you - I don't really like Taekook as a pairing. While the idea and writing of your story is really well done, I don't feel really any connection to this pair compared to others I've done (i.e. Pairs I like) Nonetheless, don't worry because I hadn't taken any bias when reviewing :) 

Again, there was a certain something that was off and lacking in your story. I confess that I couldn't really explain it well, but I think that some parts of your writing could be in more elaboration so it might seem more real. 

Good luck on your future works! Please don't hesitate to comment below and ask me anything :) Have a good day~ 

Total [ 75/100 ]