CHAPTER 7: Ready

I looked back at the invitation letter. But I wasn't mistaken the words. It was really written Kim Junsu not Lee Jaehwan.

My heart was burning. This reality hit me so hard.

I turned my head to Jaehwan who was driving slowly and asked, "How can it happened, Hwan ah?"

But he only replied with a smile. And soon, he parked the car as he said cheerfully, "We've reached the beach, Kyung.. Let's go outside!"

He turned off the engine and went out the car, avoiding my question. My eyes were following him, he walked slowly to the seashore and sat there. Somehow I felt so sad. If it was so hard for me to accept, then what about Jaehwan. He must be suffering a lot.

I decided to open the car's door and approached Jaehwan. I sat next to him, still holding the invitation letter, I asked him again, "Is she cheating?"

Jaehwan responded with a chuckle. "Calm down, Kyung.. Don't judge her.."

Listened to what he was saying, I got mad. "How can you ask me to calm? How can you still defend her, Hwan ah?!" I massaged my temple trying to control my emotion. "Do your friends know about this? Just last night they talked about you being Hani's boyfriend, but now you showed me her engagement invitation letter with another guy? How can it be possible if she's not cheating, Hwan ah!"

Jaehwan heaved a sigh before answering my question, "She's not cheating, Kyung.. It's just me who pretend to be hers.. I'm lying to myself.."

I furrowed my brows. "What do you mean?"

"Let me explain.."

Flashback

(Jaehwan’s pov)

One day Hani sent me a message. A shocking message that told me she's back.

I picked her up at the airport. I was actually still unsure whether the message was true or it was only a prank. But then Hani came out. She run and jumped on me, hugging me so tight like a little girl. She told me that she missed me a lot. She even made me blushing by landing a soft peck on my cheek.

"I miss you so much, Jae!" Said Hani as she looked at me full of longing.

I was still dumbfounded after getting a soft peck from her. "D-do you really come back?" I was stuttering.

"Yeah, this time I totally come back, Jae! I won't go anywhere again.." Hani said with a big smile on her face.

And it made me couldn't help but to smile back. I really liked to know the fact that she will stay.

Since she didn't have a place to stay yet, I brought her to my house I lived with my friends.

On their way, Hani told the story why she left Paris and decided to stay in Seoul.

"I'm tired of being their maknae, Jae.. They just ask me to do something useless.. I felt like I'm their servant.." Hani grumbled.

I listened carefully to her story while driving out of Incheon.

"So when I got offer to build my own brand, I won't ever lose that chance!" She told me with full of spirit.

"Who was offering you that chance?" I asked casually.

"My sunbae's friend.. I ever met her in Paris and she's pretty much talented.. Though she's quite y actually, but I prefer working with her as a partner than working as a servant in Channel.."

I let out a chuckle. "You even badmouthing your soon to be boss, Hani ya.."

She replied fast. "She's not my boss, she's business partner!"

"Ah okay, I'm sorry.." I said as I bowed a little to her as a joke.

She laughed to see me joking, but the she said, "Anyway, is it okay if I stay in your place for a while? It's only until I found my own place.."

I pursed my lips. "Mmm.. I think it's okay.. I just need to ask permission from my housemates.."

"They must be happy to have a pretty girl as a guest.." Hani said jokingly.

And it succesfully made me turn my head as I laughed. "You really.."

But she even challenged me. "Am I not?"

I turned my head to look at her and smiled. "No.. You're pretty.. always."

And it made her blushing.

I love it. I love to see her smile again. I said in my heart.

When we reached the house, coincidentally all the house members were gathered in the dining room. So I only needed to introduce Hani to them. They were actually quite surprised by my sudden request to let Hani stay in the house, but they didn't have another option than letting her to stay.

Hani was let to stay in my room, while I moved to Taekwoon hyung's and shared a bed with him.

"Is this your room?" Hani asked as soon as she entered the room. "Surely, the room of Lee Jaehwan. Clean and tidy."

I smiled as I brought in her travel bags into the room.

As she sat on the edge of the bed, she suddenly said, “I’m sorry..”

"Sorry? For what?" I asked as I walked closer to her.

She took my hands and played my fingers as she said, "I'm always troubling you.." Then she looked up and said, "Back then when we were young.. this time too.." She ended it with a pout.

Cute. I said it in my mind, but in reality I only said, "It's okay.."

She smiled at me and then while poking my stomach, she said, "But you have to bear with it.. Cz I'm going to ask your help tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the next next days.."

We were both laughing together for a moment before she looked at me in the eyes and softly said, "You're the only one that I have here, Jae.."

Listened to what she was saying, my heart was touched. It was such a long time, I didn't feel it. A feeling when someone need me, especially the one who need me was Hani, my first love.

Slowly I reached her cheek and caressed it softly. "Don't worry.. I'll stay by your side, Hani.. And I don't feel troubled by it."

She smiled at me. And somehow because of her smile, the old feeling creeping up again in my heart, sending a warmness to my whole body. Am I falling in love again?

I smiled back at her, and that was the beginning of Jaehwan - Hani's second journey. I thought.

I denied it at the first time. It was impossible for me to love Hani again. I had let her go that time when she came back to Seoul for a while. I had said that I love to see her fly, to see her be happy without me. But why the feeling come again?

As Hani lived in the same house with me, I used to hear her cheerful good morning and her sweet good night. I used to hear her loud laughing when we watched tv shows together and listened to her telling about her design. I used to have her presence come back in my life.

Hani was easily befriends with the other house members. Since she already knew Hongbin, she only need to get to know Ravi and Taekwoon Hyung. Hani didn't have any difficulty with Ravi since he was quite friendly, but Taekwoon Hyung was the other case. His reserved character doesn't match Hani's. And Taekwoon Hyung was kind of dislike her staying in the house, because it meant he need to share his room with me.

But then, she finally got an apartment she wanted after searching it around a month. Hani was kind of perfectionist and picky, so I needed to accompany her to go here and there. But I didn't grumble at all, moreover I felt happy. It felt like I was accompanying my future wife to search for a house we gonna live in.

"I love it. The interior design, the price, the location. It's perfect!" Said Hani as she entered the living room of her new apartment. "Don't you think so, Jae?"

I nodded firmly. The design was modern and minimalist with domination of white and grey that fitted my taste.

While looking at the view of the busy streets from her room, Hani smiled. "And it has a good view too.." but then she sighed.

I walked closer to her and asked, "Why are you sighing? You should be happy it has a better view than my house.."

Hani turned to face me and pouted. "But I'm going to miss you, Jae.. I wish I could enjoy this view with you every night and morning.. Can you just live with me here?"

I opened my eyes widely after listened to her request. To control my nervousness, I avoid her eyes by looking around the room. But then I realized that it only has one bedroom, and that fact was making me blushing.

But then Hani rested her head on my chest and slowly hugged me as she said, “Can we live together, Jae?”

My heartbeat was racing. Is it the time for us to take a further step? But a further step of what? We didn’t even start a relationship again. But doesn’t it necessary to be stated? Or only with action is enough? There were so many questions in my head that time. And the final question was, Am I ready? And somehow I knew the answer.

I softly pulled Hani apart from the hug and leaned over to look at her eyes closely as I said, “No.. Not now, Hani ya...” She frowned her brows, signing that she disagreed with my answer. But I continued, “Later.. Just give us time for a quite longer until we both sure, uhm?”

She sent me a soft smile before she nodded. “Okay, but you have to promise me, that you will come here often..”

“Sure..” I smiled with all of my heart.

Somehow I still thought about my decision that time, was it the right decision? I should’ve said yes and lived with her since that time. But why did I feel unsure? I didn’t want this to be only the impact of a short thought and an emotion. If she really wanted to be with me, I wanted it to be her long thought, I wanted her to really commit. But how to commit if she doesn’t even say the words that have to be said? Does she still loves me? Or it is only one-sided feeling?

I put aside those questions and enjoyed my time with her. She even introduced me to Kang Hyena, her business partner.

I was surprised with Hyena’s respond when Hani introduced me to her. “Aaah so this is Lee Jaehwan you always talked about..” She said casually.

But it got me curious. “What did she talk about me?”

“The only one she have here in Korea.. She called you that.” Hyena told me before he let out a chuckle.

And somehow it got me blushing. Not enough with that, Hani even linked her arms to mine and said, “The one who I can’t live without..” She smiled so bright at me and then to Hyena.

I felt like I was flying to the seven sky. Doesn’t it the same as she say that she loves me? Then that means the feeling is mutual? I couldn’t help but to smile that day.

But it wasn’t only that time she implicitly said it. When we bought udon at the street stalls, I naturally feed her, “Hani ya, open your mouth..” and she cutely obeyed to me.

And it made the ahjumma commented, “What a sweet couple.. You even call her honey.. When will my husband called me like that?”

Listened to the ahjumma’s grumble, Hani didn’t even want to correct her words. She even added, “Yeah, I’m his Hani, ahjumma.. I’m his Hani..” She smiled brightly at me.

I’m his. That words were replying in my head. Guessed, love doesn’t need to be stated. She loves me too. She’s mine.

Both Hani and I were enjoying this unstated relationship. I thought, even only like this was enough for us. Having her next to me, spending time with her, having her befriends with my friends, and could listen to her voice every night, what can I ask more?

But then one night, she called me with a hoarse voice asking me to come to her apartment. I directly drove my car to go there. Once I reached her apartment, I pressed the password and entered the room. Then I found her, sitting in the living room with cans of beer on the table.

“Oh my God, Hani.. what happened?” I directly approached her and sat next to her, trying to make her to face me.

Her eyes was red and puffy, like she has been crying for hours. I wiped the tears on her cheek and asked again softly, “Do you want to tell me what had happened?”

She looked at me in the eyes and started to ask, “Why the world never been kind to me? Why do I have to suffer again??”

“Is there someone who bother--?”

Didn’t even wait me to finish my sentence, Hani was already answering with, “That ! Why can’t she respect me? Why does she always see me as a beggar not a partner? I have invested my money in this business too, Jae. Not a little, A LOT! All my money I got from Channel’s slavering I invested in this business. So why can’t she see me as an equal partner?!” She stopped to wipe her tears and took a breath. “I know she’s waaaay older than me, but should I respect her when she doesn’t even respect me?! Korean age order culture is useless. I don’t want to call her unnie!” She burst out non-stop with full of emotion.

I tried to calm her with caressing her hair and it somehow succeed. But even with a softer voice, she still grumbled about her partner. “She should’ve realized that she can’t run this business without me.. My design was waaay better than her.. And the customer prefer to talk to me than talk to her. She’s just an old skinny ugly woman whom nobody wants!” I actually quite surprised to hear those words coming out from a beautiful girl like Hani, but I somehow I understand because she might be too drunk.

But then she suddenly looked at me in the eyes and started to cry again. “She even insulted you, Jae.. How can a woman like her insult you, Jae?? I couldn’t accept it.”

I was actually quite curious of what Hyena said about me, but it didn’t important right now, because what Hani did next was enough to make me stop breathing. She cupped my cheeks with both of her palms and pecked my lips.

“Someone so precious like you is unbeaten with money or title..” I looked at her saying that words while crying. And somehow I felt something warm falling to my cheeks and it must be her tears.

She pecked my lips again and then said, “Why did she has to ask me why I keep you by my side?! She even called you useless, Jae.. Who is she to have the rights to call you that! What’s wrong with being a student? I’m still young too!” My curiosity was answered. So basically, Hyena called me useless because I was only a student who couldn’t support Hani financially and helping their business grow.

Even though my pride was hurt, but I tried to put a side that thought and instead calming Hani with saying, “It’s okay, Hani ya..”

“IT’S NOT OKAY! I don’t accept it, Jae.. It was enough with hurting my pride, I won’t ever accept it when she hurt your pride too, Jae.. “ She said it while looking at my eyes deeply.

There was a slight happiness in me when she told me that. Because that meant she really cared about me. Somehow I let my lips slipped the words, “She’s just jealous of us, Hani ya..”

Hani tilted her head for a moment and then said, “Jealous? Yeah, that’s right! She’s just jealous.. What an old single lady, she must be desperate to be loved.” She paused to laugh for a while, then she said, “I will make her to get jealous more and more and more..” Then she put her arms round my neck and leaned forward. Before kissing me, she said, “Let’s make her more jealous, Jae..”

She pressed her lips on mine, and this time was longer. I knew she was drunk and she probably unconsciously did it, but I still loved it. It was such a long time I haven’t kissed a girl. And the girl I kissed right now was Ahn Hani, my first love, my past, my now, and I believed will be my future.

She was falling asleep in my arms. Even though I liked it, but I knew she won’t be comfortable sleeping on the carpet like this. So, I brought her to her bed room and softly lay her body on the bed. After I put a blanket to cover her body, I enjoyed looking at her sleeping face for a moment. She was still furrowing her brows, seems she still couldn’t let her anger go. Does she need to get that angry just because that girl insult me? I smiled softly. She’s really cute.

But then I looked at my watch and it already past midnight. I needed to go home, so I started to leave, but Hani softly called my name.

“Jae... don’t go..”

I directly turned my head and approached her. “You haven’t sleep?”

“I can’t sleep if you’re not with me..” She said softly.

Listened to her words, I was debate with myself whether to stay or not. But she even added with, “Just stay here tonight, please...”

Looking at her begging me to stay like this, my heart couldn’t refuse. I nodded to her and get onto the bed, sleeping next to her. And she shifted closer at me and hugged me with her one arm.

We never to be as close as this before. Sure, we did skin ship a lot, but we never sleeping on the same bed before, so somehow my heartbeat was racing and my mind started to wander. Is this how it feels to live together with her? I want to sleep like this every night. I want to live with her right now. And I’m sure of it.

In the morning when I opened my eyes, Hani wasn’t next to me. I got up and looked for her and turned out she was in the kitchen.

“You have wake up?” She greeted me as soon as she saw me.

I replied with a soft nod as I approached her.

We met in the dining room as she gave me a ginger drink to help me get through the hangover.

“Thanks.” I accepted it, but actually I didn’t need it because I wasn’t drunk last night. I was fully conscious when she burst out in front of me.

She took a sip of the ginger drink before asking me, “It must be quite mess last night, isn’t it?”

“No.. “ I lied.

“Don’t lie.. There are many cans of beer in the living room. I must have drunk a lot.” Hani said it as she bent her head down, avoiding my eyes.

“It’s okay.. Nothing happened.. Even when you wake up and find me next to---“

Didn’t wait me to finish my words, Hani cut it with saying, “Just forget what happened last night. Everything I said, everything I did last night, just forget it..”

I was surprised to hear her request. Does she want me to forget about our kiss?

“I was too embarrassed.. I can’t even look at your eyes right now because of it..” She said it while covering her face.

And somehow it made me laugh. “You did nothing, Hani ya.. Don’t worry..”

She let out a soft laugh to respond what I was saying.

“Ya Ahn Hani, just look at me, it’s okay..” I said to her.

Slowly she looked up and our eyes met.

Then I asked her “Hani ya.. do you have agenda this weekend? How about we’re going to Daegu?”

“Daegu?” She looked quite surprised.

“Uhuh.. Let’s go meet my parents..” I said and ended it with a smile.

But Hani was speechless. It was seen in her face that she was nervous.

I couldn’t help but to chuckle. She was indeed so cute.

Maybe that was how I seen when she asked me to live together that time. But this time, I was the one who want to take this relationship to a further step. This time I was sure. This time I was ready.

[picture of Jaehwan and Hani in the dining room, Jaehwan was smiling while Hani was bending her head down, avoiding Jaehwan’s eyes.]

#bgm: IU – Through the night

A/N: I hope you won’t be bored because it has a long and slow plot. But I want to show you how Jaehwan and Hani’s feeling grow.. If you miss Kyungri, she will come back in the next chapter, don’t worry.. See you in the next chapter. It gonna end soon