CHAPTER 10: Ending Scene

Jaehwan looked at me for quite long time. Our eyes were locked, and I just let the tears falling down to my cheeks. He was the same, slowly tears were falling down to his cheeks. 

He looked away only to rub his face and wiped his tears away. Then he turned to see me again, “You... H-how..” He was sobbing now. “How can I—“ Didn’t finish his words, he got up and walked closer to the sea, leaving me sitting by myself. 

There I saw him contemplating. Even when I could only see his back, but I knew he was having hard time to understand all of this; his own feeling, Hani’s engagement, and my sudden confession.

Didn’t have a heart to see him like that, I decided to approach him. And once I reached him, he broke down in front of me. “I’m sorry, Kyung.. I’m really stupid.. I’m really stupid.. I’m stupid.”

His eyes were red and he hardly could control his breathing. “Now I understand.. I understand it all, Kyung.. You must be suffered because of me.. I’m sorry..”

“Stop saying sorry, Hwan ah. Stop blaming yourself. Let’s not blaming anyone.. It’s just happened, and—“

“I know it, Kyung! Your feeling back then for me, I know it..” His words surprised me.

“I wasn’t sure at that time. I was afraid that it was only my false thought.. and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend, so I pretended that I didn’t know.. Maybe Hani do the same.. I didn’t realize I had put you in my position years ago, Kyung.. I’m sorry..”

“Stop it, Hwan ah.. It was the past. I should’ve told you my feeling back then, but I didn’t.. Stop this pretending and let’s be honest. Be honest to Hani too.. Let yourself free, Hwan ah.. “ I still tried to be rational and gave him advice, despite my hurt feeling.

“You know why I can’t let her go, Kyung? You know why it can’t be like what happened between me and Sukyeon? I can let Sukyeon go, we can even be friends now. But why can’t Hani?" He asked me desperately.

"That’s because Sukyeon loves Taekwoon Hyung and I know it was the best decision she could make. But Hani is different, Kyung.. I know that Junsu Hyung is a good guy. I know that he can give Hani many things that I can't afford. But I believe in the deepest of her heart there is still me. That she still loves me. That she chose Junsu Hyung because of--- because of—“

Money? Power? I could only guessing because Jaehwan couldn’t finish his sentence as he kneeled down and buried his face on his knees.

I kneeled down in front of him and pulled him in my embrace. 

“I don’t want to think of her badly, Kyung.. She’s really precious for me.. How can I love her this much when I have you by my side, like this? I’m a bad guy..”

Yes, you are bad guy, Hwan ah.. You did it again, crying in my embrace because of another girl.

-00-

The sun was rising and birds were flying at the blue sky, while the roar of the waves accompanied us to go back to Seoul. Jaehwan was driving in silent and I didn’t think the need to make conversation now after our long and dramatic revelation before.

Strangely I felt lighter, I felt ease. It was like let go something you have hold for so long. Maybe it was my feeling for Jaehwan. My untold feeling. Now I have told him. Now he know it. 

I made a deep breathe of this refreshing air before I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Once I opened my eyes, I was still in Jaehwan’s car and he was still in his driver seat, but the car wasn’t moving. I rubbed my eyes softly while looking around, trying to know where I am now. 

“We’re in the bank of the Han River, Kyung..” Jaehwan’s words answered my unstated question.

“Sorry that we stopped here.. I wanted to take you home, but I don’t know exactly where you are living. And moreover you know, I’m not friendly with directions.. So I stopped here waiting for you to wake up..” Jaehwan was giving more explanation.

And I could only respond with, “Why don’t you wake me up?”

He chuckled. “It’s already my bad to make you stay up all night and once you fell asleep, do you think I can wake you up?”

I heaved a sigh. “You’re too kind, Hwan ah.. As always.. Maybe Hani was right, you shouldn’t be this kind to any girl, they might be misinterpret your action.” Realizing that I just blurt out, I directly apologizing. “Ah, I’m sorry.. I must haven’t collect my sense..”

But Jaehwan responded with a laugh. “It’s okay.. Don’t you say we should be honest this time? Just say what you want to say, I’ll try to be honest too..”

Listened to what he was saying, I couldn't help but smile. “Let’s just go home..”

“Okay..”

-00-

In our way back home, we have a simple chat about this and that, making jokes. It was like we completely forget that few hours before we had broke down in front of each other.

“My home is up there, car won’t fit in.. So, just drop me here..” I said as we reached my residence area.

But Jaehwan parked the car and asked, “Kyung, may I walk you home?”

I looked at him and slowly nodded. I knew that actually I still want him to stay with me. 

We walked side by side. And he started the conversation with, “Thanks..”

I looked up and softly asked, “For what?”

“For spending your time with me this entire night..”

Somehow his words got me chuckle. So I made joke, “Mmm, if people heard you they might be misunderstood.”

With that Jaehwan was laughing. “But really.. I think it’s a good fate to accidentally meet you again this time, Kyung.. You open my eyes..”

You open my eyes? Why it sounded so heartwarming? 

He continued, “You’re right. I should talk to Hani and write our ending scene together.”

“Fighting, Lee Jaehwan. You deserve to have a happy ending..” I smiled at him with all of my heart.

But he responded with a question, “And what about you?”

“I can have mine too..” I answered fast.

“About your feeling----“ 

I cut his words. “Ya, you told Sukyeon ssi that her feeling is hers and your feeling is yours, right? So my feeling is mine too.. Don’t worry, I never feel lighter than now..” I ended with a smile, an honest smile. 

He smiled back at me and softly asked, “So, we still friends, right?”

“Of course! You need to introduce me to Sukyeon ssi.. I really want to know her personally..”

“It’s easy.. Once our schedules matched, I’ll take you to The House and introduced you to them..”

“Sounds great!” I responded excitedly before I told him that we reached my home.

"Here it is. Thank you for the trip, Hwan ah.. You should go home and sleep. Look, your eyesbag are puffy.." I tried to make a joke before saying good bye because I knew it was hard actually. I still wanted to be with him.

But then what he did next surprised me. He walked closer and held my both hands softly. Slowly he said, “You have got through many hardships in your life, Kyung.. I have no idea how hard it was for you, but here I am whining about my life.. I must have looked so weak, right?"

I wanted to respond him, but he cut me off and continued saying, "You are a strong woman, Kyung.. You are wonderful.. You deserve to be happy too.."

Listened to what he was saying making my heart warm. It was indeed warm when someone showing you that you are more than what you think about yourself.

"So let’s be happy.. Let's cheer each other up when we were feeling down. Don't ever think that you are alone, Kyung.. You have me and soon my friends is gonna be your friends too.. Let's live happily, uhm?"

I smiled at him and said, "You and I, let’s be happy.."

We stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other eyes and holding hands. I really liked this moment, it was like we're both giving strength to each other. Like I was grateful that I have him, and he was grateful to have me.

But I knew I didn't have his heart, yet. This time I have to let him go fighting over his love. He deserved to be loved as much as he gave his love.

I waved my hands at him. And while I saw his back, I was thinking that even until the end Jaehwan is a good guy. In his entire story about Hani never once he told something bad about her, even until the end when he struggled to explain why Hani chose that guy instead of him. But now I know I shouldn’t meddle in their relationship anymore. I have said what I need to say and I guessed Jaehwan knew what he need to do. What happened after this is up to them.

I guessed I met Jaehwan again in this crosswalk just for giving us chance to have our new starts. Understanding what is truly happened in the past, being honest to our self, forgiving any mistakes, and making promise that we should get our happiness in the future. Doesn’t it a good foundation for our new starts?

Lee Jaehwan, thank you for setting a flowery path for me. I don’t want to be greedy, but..... can you walk with me?

[The picture of Kyungri smiling while seeing the back of Jaehwan]
#BGM: IU – Ending Scene

A/N: That’s the end of this messy story. I’m really grateful for you who spent your time to read this story till the end. Thank you so much *bow 90 degrees*