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November 23, 2016

Morning came and unlike the scene yesterday, The older boy was still sleeping and Jihoon had some time to admire his beautiful boyfriend before the other stirred awake. His smile grew wider as Seungcheol opened his eyes. He was of course feeling weak today, He had been feeling weak since about last week. His breathing became harsh even though he's just laying in bed. His eyes blur sometimes that makes him nauseous. But despite that, he strives to greet his other with a smile every morning.

He knows that someday he'll pass out and then he won't wake up. He also knows that 'someday' is near.

"Morning, Angel."

"Morning, Angel." Jihoon said back mimicking the older with his pet-name.

"Slept well?" Seungcheol asked, genuinely asking if he did sleep well, or if he woke up in the morning trying to catch a breath.

"Yes, I sleep well every night, because you're here." Jihoon said with the cheesiest of smiled he's got. Flirting with his boyfriends as if they we're at the bar the first time they met.

"That's really good to hear." Seungcheol said sitting up supported by his arms. "Anything in mind for breakfast?"

"Well , what do you want?" Jihoon asked, starting to list of breakfasts that he'd want to have before he dies on his head.

"You know what I want?" Seungcheol said leaning closer as the smaller didn't even flinch because honestly, being with Seungcheol for the rest of his remaining life he grew to know that his boyfriend will take any chance he gets to kiss him.

"Me?" Jihoon laughed

And Seungcheol answered him with a kiss, careful not to literally take Jihoon's breath away.

"But really." Jihoon said shifting his weight from one elbow to another.

"I don't really crave for anything specific right now, that's why I'm asking you."

"Okay then give me a moment."

As said few minutes passed and Jihoon finally made out his mind, surveying the ones he loves most.

"How about that one you said looks good at that cafe near here?"

"What? The crepes?" Seungcheol said

"Yes. That." Jihoon said suddenly hungry.

"Okay then, I'll be right back, just wait for me here."

"I want the blueberry one." The younger shouted when the older had already left the room.

Seungcheol came back carrying their breakfast, already transferred in plates. They pigged out on the crepes and laid in bed for a while. Jihoon as always was on Seungcheol's arms deep withing his embrace and the older memorizing the feeling of Jihoon's hair, his hands the way he'd snuggle closer when he feels cold. He wants to imprint them all and keep them safe in his head.

"Seungcheol." Jihoon called with an almost melancholic voice. He then told himself to never call his boyfriend's name with such a sad tone again for the rest of his life. The older hummed in response urging the other to continue.

"I just want you to know. That." He paused then said with an even hushed tone and a shaky voice, stopping himself from tearing up "That when I do, uh, go away. I want to tell you that I give you permission to marry someone else. But-" He stopped breathing a little "but If you're not happy with them don't force yourself to do things you don't want to." He said.

"Don't talk like that Hoonie." Seungcheol said trying to stop the other from spouting non-sense. He knows deep inside him that Jihoon cannot be replaced, not for anyone. It had to be Jihoon and if Jihoon we're to die soon, then he might as well die alone that find someone to fill Jihoon's spot between his arms.

"I'm just saying, just in case. As long as you're happy." Facing Seungcheol and taking his hand to cup the other's face. "I want you to live here, or find somewhere else and let Soonyoung live here instead. I don't know if that's creepy but." He said shrugging. "Keep this place warm, just how warm it is now. Don't let the plants die, because they will he like my second life."

"Please take care of yourself or if you must Soonyoung as well. Take care of each other." He sobbed, unable to stop himself.

"I love you so much, You made me not want to leave so early." Jihoon said hugging the other close. Now the older was crying too, It was all to much for him, it was as though Jihoon was saying his last will. It was as if he was saying goodbye.

"I love you, Jihoon." Seungcheol said concealing his cries on the other's shirt.

Jihoon had to say those now o else he won't be at peace. It was all too painful to him, hearing Seungcheol sob against him. Knowing that Seungcheol will cry even more when his day comes. Thinking about who he's going to leave behind. Seungcheol, Soonyoung, his parents, his friends, even those relatives who ask him if he's okay even though he obviously wasnt. It was too painful to leave them all, it was too soon, he just couldn't but he know he can't stop it.

I was far too late that all he could do was hold on to Seungcheol and tell him what his heart contains.

"I love you, Seungcheol."

November 24, 2016

The next day Soonyoung visited. As the said boy entered the room what greeted him was a very weak looking boy, thinner limbs compared to the last time they met, and a paler skin. The older boy broke out in tears and ran to the bed hugging his bestfriend in the world. The boy was crying his snot almost dripping if not thanks to Jihoon grabbing a towel for the boy.

"Soonyoung, you look really silly, right now." Jihoon said laughing a little at the boy "I'll miss you"

"Jihoon! What do you mean you'll miss me, you're not going anywhere. Jihoon, you wont go right?" Soonyoung said between each sob.

"I don't know, hyung."

Soonyoung doesn't know what to do, he would be lost with everything, It would be as if he was put in another world, without Jihoon, it was never the same. He just cried till he can't anymore. He told Jihoon stories he's never told him before in his life he told the younger all different sorts of things, He loves the boy so much, he was his only best friend since high school.

When Soonyoung went home the kid talked to Seungcheol thanking him for all sorts of things for making Jihoon smile every morning.

Seungcheol thanked Soonyoung too.

When the boy reached his car he was still crying.

November 25, 2016

Winter was near as it was indeed late November. Snow will come soon, and it will be colder. Jihoon liked the snow but right now, now that he's almost dying, snow was like a sharp edge sticked on his waist. The cold weather makes it hard to breath for Jihoon.

He finds it harder to open his eyes in the morning and sometimes he just doesn't move until Seungcheol wakes up, his body felt like he just took an all nighter and his eyes drooped down. He had been resting for more than a month and his weakness was only one of the his COPD gives him.

He stared up with hazy eyes at the ceiling, holding the sleeping Seungcheol's hand hear his beating heart. He's focusing on his breathing. His eyes closing now and then. There was a lingering pain on his lungs, but it was bearable enough if he doesn't move and just breath. So he does just breath. He's just laying there.

And when Seungcheol woke up, he feels even more weeker. He asked himself.'Is this what it feels like to die?'

He sees Seungcheol's ever beautiful face hover above his then a smile, and suddenly he just can't breath. His eyes grew wide his hand holding Seungcheol's hand tightens, His chest heaving up and down violently and then he bagan to see darkness flashing on his eyes when he just passed out only hearing his name from his boyfriend the last thing, he feels himself loosening hold of the others hand and his lip twitching up as if to give a smile.

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OKAY NEW CHAPTER

BUT THE STORY IS NOT DONE YET

BUT YEAH JUST LAID IT OUT 4 YOU

MANAGED TO GIVE MYSELF IDEAS, THOUGH AS YOU CAN SEE Jihoon is stuck in bed being unable to breath with just as little as a step so yep.