Chapter 7: Truth

"What?" I asked. Meilee is staring at me as I eat and she's eyeing me weirdly on top of that.

"You're weird unnie. You're never late."

"I have troubles sleeping last night that's why."

"And why is that?" Her question made me flush. I remembered what Chanyeol did last night again. "Oho! That look of yours makes it more interesting! What happened? Tell me! Tell me!"

"I-"

"Hey! How's my favorite girl?" My brother pops out and hugged me from behind. I chuckled and moved over for him to sit down. Chanyeol's here too.

"Oppa, I thought I'm your favorite girl." Meilee pouts and asked. I eyed her weirdly this time. Why would she be my brother's favorite girl?

"Why would you be my brother's favorite girl?" They all looked at each other. Meilee grins and looked at me.

"We're dating~ you know it unnie you just forgot it."

"Oh my god."

"Kanaaaa!" I saw Ren approaching so I smiled and waved. "Kana guess what!!"

"What?"

He groans. "I just told you to guess didn't I?"

I laughed. "Just tell me what it is."

"I made it! The fine arts org!"

"That's great!"

"I know!!" I smiled. I'm happy for Ren. He's been liking a girl from the fine arts department and when the different organizations have been recruiting, the girl that he likes was the one that offered him to join the organization. Ren is good in arts too which is why it's not a waste for them to recruit him. I met eyes with Chanyeol and he's eyeing me as I converse with Ren. Him looking at me makes me more comfortable.

"U..Um, I have to go now." I stood up and picked my things up.

"Huh? Why? We don't have any class until 1:30 unnie." Meilee says.

"Uh, I have to do something. I'll message you later. Bye!" I ran off outside and catch my breath. I don't think I can talk to Chanyeol for now. Things have been so awkward with him whenever I see him. I continued walking and sat at the bench and put my things down. I threw my head and placed my hand in front of my face. I think Chanyeol just felt that I've been avoiding him. "Ugh, Byun Kana-" I froze seeing a familiar face. That guy looks like Luhan. I stood up and grabbed my things following the guy. I ran and tried to catch up with him but he disappeared. "L..Luhan's here."

"Kana? There you are." I looked back and saw Chanyeol.

"I..I saw him. Luhan, he's here. I just saw him now he's-" I suddenly noticed that I'm crying. Do I miss him that much? I wanted to see Luhan. "I wanted to see him but he disappeared suddenly. He.. He was just-"

"Shh. It's okay. I'm here." Chanyeol pulls me to a hug. Suddenly all of the awkwardness disappears. His hug is very comforting. "That's not him. You're just seeing things." He said but I'm really positive I saw Luhan just now.

 - - - - - - - - - - 

Chanyeol handed me bottled water and I took it. He sat next to me but says nothing. I stared at my feet and tried to forget what I saw earlier but I can't. I'm really sure that it was Luhan that I saw earlier. "I know you told me not to ask but why did you say that it's not him?"

"I just know it. You're seeing things." He replied looking serious. I forgot Chanyeol doesn't want me asking about Luhan. That might've upset him huh?

"Sorry, I know you told me not to ask but.."

"It's fine Kana. But I would be lying if I would say I was comfortable with it. To be honest, I really don't want to talk about him. Especially with you."

"I'm sorry. I won't ask anymore." He smiles and kisses my forehead. I realized that my drink was empty. He noticed it and took it from me.

"Stay here. I'll go and get another one for you."

"Okay." I nod and watch him leave. "He left his laptop." I mumbled and opened it. I was expecting for it to have a lock but it doesn't. I opened his gallery because I want to see photos that he takes using his phone. I bet they are really great since he's really good at it. I smiled as I look at them. They're nice. I froze when I saw a folder that shows previews. Is it Soah's mother? I remembered Chen told me that back then, Chanyeol used to save a folder with images of the girl that he likes with the folder named 'Ana' and this folder definitely has it. I opened it and gasped. She... she looks exactly like me.

"Kana?" I froze and stood from my seat. "What's wrong?"

"N..Nothing. I was just looking at your photos. They're great!" I forced a smile and closed his laptop. He smiles and sits next to me. "Thanks.." I say taking the drink from. I look exactly just as Soah's mother. Is that why Chanyeol came to like me? Because I look like her?

"Kana, are you listening?"

"H..Huh? Oh sorry. What is it?"

"Are you really okay? You don't look good."

"I think.. I..It's because I cried too much? Haha! I'm fine now really.."

"If you say so."

I want to ask but I can't. I'm afraid that if I ask, I'll get the answer that I don't want to hear.

 - - - - - - - - - - 

I return to my room and jumped into my bed. I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it. Today's such a day to process for just a little time left before the day ends.

I rolled over to the side but I forgot that I am on the side of the bed and so, I fell. "Ah.." I cried in pain. I noticed the small box under my bed and I looked at it curiously. "Hm?" I opened it and there are a lot of images inside. Images of lights but blurred ones. I picked on and my heart started pounding the moment I held it.

"What's happening to me?" I set the box down and reached for the glass of water placed on my table. I grab hold of my medicine and took one to calm me down. This happens from time to time. I don't know it it's just me or my heart is remembering more that my brain does. I set the box on my lap again and continued looking at the images. An image fell and there's a note behind it. It's from Luhan.

To: Kana

I am not that good in Korean yet but I am still trying to learn it for you. But for now, let me right in English because that's the only way we can connect with each other. See this image I sent you? I was really fascinated whenever I see lights and guess what? It makes me remember of you whenever you smile. Your smile makes me feel like my world has brighten up again and you know why darkness had fallen in it. I am going to continue to send you photos that I took as I tour around the world and hopefully one day, I will take them with you by my side. Look forward to my next photo okay? I love you.

P.S. I wanted you to name all of the photos that I send you okay?

- Luhan

I gasped reading the letter. I really did have a relationship with Luhan and I think we stayed in it for some time. I grabbed another letter and this time it's a photograph of the Eiffel tower. I turned the photo and read his letter.

To: Kana

I'm in the place where love is all around and right now, I really wish you were here so I can slap to the faces of all of the couples around me as I right that I have a girl that likes me so much that you can't compare her love to your girls. I am really missing you as hell right now. If you really didn't push me to this trip, I won't really go but since you pushed me I'm here. Anyway, enjoy this photo. I am looking forward of taking your photo here wearing a dress because I know that you would be lovely. I love you Kana and I hope to see you again.

- Luhan

"Oh my god." I hug my knees and cry. I didn't expect for me to be like this with Luhan. We loved each other so much. I tried to stand up but my knees are too weak to hold me up. I need Chanyeol. I need him so bad. I reach for my phone and called him.

"Hey," he chuckled and answered. "Why did you call?"

"I need you here... right.. now.. please.."

"Alright. I'll be there." He says and I can hear footsteps rushing towards my door. My door slammed open and he's here.

"Chanyeol.." he runs to me and takes me in his arms. I hold unto him and cry. "I remember him.. I remember Luhan.."

 - - - - - - - - - - 

CHANYEOL

She remembers. She remembers Luhan now. I looked at her and she's holding a photo in her hand. She found it. The photos that Luhan had been sending her back then. I guess it's time huh?

"I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner." I whispered as she cry. She shakes her head and holds on to me tighter. "Shh.. it will be okay. I'm here. Just cry it all out."

"I can't believe I forgot all about him... these photos.." I kissed her head and hugged her even more. I want her pain to melt away. This is why I can't tell her about him. Because she would be crying like this. She pulls back and looks up at me. "Where is he?"

And I anticipated that question. As much as I anticipated it, I will never be prepared to answer that question. Whatever answer I give her would give her the same effect but I can't avoid it forever.
"Are you sure you wanted to know?" I asked. I really am hoping that she will say no because what I am about to say next would even tear her heart into pieces.

"Yeah.. please tell me. I know the reason why you're not telling me and it is to prevent me from being hurt but I wanted to know.. please tell me.." I kissed her forehead and pulled her against my chest.

"Luhan's dead."

He’s dead. Luhan’s dead. I don’t know how to react. I don’t even know if I know how to breathe again. Chanyeol pulled me closer. I think he’s expecting me to cry and he’s getting what he expected. I am crying, silently that is. I don’t hear myself making a sound at all. He hugs me tighter and I hold on to him. The pictures started to fall from my lap as much as how my hopes in seeing Luhan again fall and break into pieces.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner.” He says as he buries his face on my hair. I hold on to him tighter asking him to wipe my pain away, unfortunately, it’s not happening.

“I want to see him.. Take me to his grave..” I mumbled with my shaky voice. He looks at me wiping my tears and nodded. He helps me stand and we make our way out. He opens his car door and helps me inside. He walks over to the driver’s seat and placed my seatbelt for me. I am really an expert in forgetting things. He leans back to his seat and starts the car after placing his seatbelt. He started driving and as we get closer to the destination, I can feel myself weaker and weaker.

“We’re here.” He says. Now I don’t feel myself at all. He walks over to my seat and helped me out. We started walking and the sight of graves from my feet and around me feels like I am sinking on the ground. We stopped and I saw him. Lu Han. He’s there. There’s a picture of the two of us along with the photo of him and her mother back when he was still young.

“Oh my god. Luhan.” I burst again in tears as I sank on the ground. This time, I am crying loudly. Like I am crying my whole self out, hoping that Luhan can hear me. Even though I don’t completely remember what happened between the both of us, I know that I loved him. As much as I love Chanyeol right now.

“Kana…” Chanyeol hugs me again but I shake my head no. I don’t think he can help me right now. I think him hugging me will make him feel worse than I do. I know it’s hard for him not telling me about him. Especially when he knows that I love Luhan so much.

“Please leave me alone for now..” I said. He gives me my space as I cry and stands in front of me. I continued crying for who knows when and then I felt myself get tired.

 - - - - - - - - - - 

I open my eyes and find myself in a room. It’s not my room. I sat up and saw Chanyeol sleeping beside me. I looked around and find myself in a hotel. Chanyeol must’ve brought me here. It’s a good choice though. I don’t think I can go back to my room after what happened. I looked at Chanyeol and smiled as he sleeps soundly. I reach over to him and touched his cheeks.

“Ana…”

Ana. He just muttered another girl’s name. And that’s definitely not my name. I am called Kana not Ana. That’s double the pain today. I just heard that the guy I love died and now I am hearing the guy that I love as much as Luhan call another girl’s name. And without any doubt, I think that’s Soah’s mother. I’m crying again. My tears fell from my eyes to Chanyeol’s cheeks as I watch him sleep. He slowly opens his eyes as I take my hand back.

“Kana? What’s wrong?” Chanyeol asks and sits up.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Kana?”

“Ana, is that her name? Is that Soah’s mother’s name?” He looks at me surprised as I cry. I want to hit him as hard as I can. For all this time, he’s been seeing me as her. I am being that woman’s replacement. “Don’t look at me like that! You…You’ve been saying her name as you sleep.. You didn’t love me at all. All these time you’ve been making me as her replacement.”

“Kana, it’s not like that-“

“Don’t touch me! I hate you!” I ran after picking my things up and headed outside. I got inside the taxi before Chanyeol manages to catch up. I went to the place that my heart wanted to go for now. To Luhan.

I stare at his grave as I grieve. “I hate you. How can you leave me just like that?” I mumbled. I am hoping that Luhan can hear this right now because I really hate him.

“Excuse me?” I flinch hearing a voice. Does anyone besides Chanyeol know this place too? And who visits at this time of the day? It’s ten in the evening. I stood up and turned. I froze. I’m confused. It’s Luhan.

Chapter 7~ I'm now starting to place POV'S of the other characters ^^ Hope you guys will enjoy the upcoming chapters :)