Chapter 14: Shattered

CHANYEOL

"Change for the last outfit." I say and went back to my station. I glanced at the photo I took at the monitor and felt satisfied with it. I sat at the chair as I wait for the model to comeback and sigh.

"Water?"

"Thanks." I took the bottle from Chen and opened it. It's been years since I have stepped in this career and I still haven't felt self-actualized. I don't think I'll get that feeling though.

"Don't you think you deserve a break? You've been working straight."

"I don't need it."

And hell I really don't. I need to be busy to distract myself from thinking about her. She left me. She never felt anything about me. She left me because of Lu Han. Things never changed for her. I'm still her old friend who stayed by her side for years.

"On three." I say after the model has settled. I started clicking the shutter taking up different angles. "Good. Last few shots." I say and ended my shift for today. "Good work everyone. Let's wrap it all up." I say and took the camera off from me. I grab my bag and started packing my things up.

"The guys set up a date with some girls. Wanna come? It might help you forgetting her." I zip my bag close and hang the strap on my shoulder.

"Forgetting, how many times have I tried doing that? And how many times did it worked? Oh wait, it didn't."

"Chanyeol, it's been years already. Get over it."

"I've been doing it. Guess what? Nothing's happening. I hate her. She hurt me. I give her my all, my everything! She didn't even love me once!" I'm at it again. I should stop. I sighed and shut my eyes close to calm myself down. "I'm going ahead. I'll just call if I'm heading over." I say and headed to the parking lot.

I fish my keys from my pocket and open the doors. I hope there are doors made for forgetting the past because I have a past that is in need of being forgotten right now. I drive myself home and rode the elevator up to my suite. I enter the passcode and enter in. Shoes are in. What?

"Oh you're back?" Hye Jin says looking from the doorframe. I walk pass through her but she followed.

"Who gave you permission to come in?" I threw my things to my bed and removed my coat off. Hye Jin smiles and hold on to my buttons but I shove her off.

"Woke up in the wrong side of the bed I guess Chan?"

"I'm not in the mood. Get out." She smirks and refuses to get out. She steps close and we're kissing. We're making out. We're doing it again. But I don't feel anything. It's been so long since I knew how to feel. So long since I remember how to love. All I know is how to hate and how to be hurt.

- - - - - - - - - - 

KANA

"Doctor Byun, the vitals are stable now. She's going to be okay."

I sighed after Yoohee, our anesthesiologist, gave air to me. We've been trying to stabilize the patient for a while now. I'm glad she stabilized because I can't manage to make my life stable.

"You okay? You don't look good." Yoohan asked. I've never been okay Yoohan. "Kana."

"I'm fine." He stops me and grabs my hand.

 
"We'll finish this. Go now." He looks at me deeply and I sighed. I hate how he always wins. I nod put my hands off from the patient.

"Thank you for your hard work everyone."

"Thank you Doctor Byun." They replied and I walk out.

I removed the gloves and mask off me, throwing them out. I walked back to my office and threw myself on the couch. I feel so heavy right now. I saw my nameplate. Byun Kana. Neurologist. Am I satisfied? I don't think I am. I'm just happy that I became a doctor that I wanted. I'm with my daughter and she's a seven year old now. Am I happy? I think I am. I close my eyes forcing myself to sleep but I can't. I felt a hand on my forehead and I open my eyes.

"Yoohan."

"Just stay put. You have a fever just as I thought." I smile and he smiles. "Why are you smiling?"

"A doctor is diagnosing another doctor."

"Can't I do that?" He says sitting beside me. I shake my head and he chuckles. "I'll take you home. Your shift is ending in thirty minutes anyway."

"You and I know that a lot can happen in thirty minutes."

"That's why we're going to avoid what can possibly happen."

"If it is supposed to happen then you can't avoid it."

"You know what? You're stubborn." I smile and sat up. My world suddenly started to turn. I guess I really am sick. "You just felt sick right now don't you?" I nod. "Come on, I'll carry you."

"Yoohan, I can walk."

"Fine." I stand and he carries my bag for me. I took of my gown and we head to the parking lot. He opens my car and he drives for me. I lean on the window and shut my eyes close. I really am not feeling that good. "You okay?"

"I'm glad I took your advice. I'm feeling worse."

"Let's stop by the pharmacy first." He pulls over after finding one and told me that he'll be right back so I nod. He puts the car on hazard and I close my eyes waiting for him. He returns after a while with medicines with him. "Got you some great meds here. You have to take them later after you eat."

"I know Yoohan." I laugh. We studies together so what he knows, I know it too.

"Sorry, just being worried."

"I can say." I replied. "Don't be. I can manage okay?"

We arrived home and he pulls over to the side. I got off and he told me that he'll go after he parks the car so I nod. I open the house and it's empty since Soah is still at school. I glanced at the clock and it's still one thirty. I still have an hour and a half before I fetch her. I walk to the kitchen and gave myself a glass of water then walked upstairs to my room.

"Cold.." I pull the covers up to me. I heard noise from the kitchen. Yoohan must be rummaging through it. I close my eyes because I feel drowsiness creeping through me.

- - - - - - - - - - 

YOO HAN

I finish making Kana some chowder and I placed water on the tray. I walked upstairs and opened her door. She's asleep. I smile and watch her. I checked her temperature and her fever isn't going down. In fact, it went up. She's stressing herself out.

"Kana, hey." I whispered and she winces slowly opening her eyes. I smile when she looks at me. "You have to eat this." She sits up but leans. She's feeling weak. "You're working too much."

"I have too. If not I may end up thinking deep.." I put the tray down and helped her sit up. I hate it that the past is still bothering her. I am fine with her remembering my brother with my face but not with her remembering the past with Chanyeol in it.

"I won't force you to stop thinking. But please forget about it already." She nods taking the spoon from me. "We're making a new life. I'm helping you make it. Even if you won't accept me as more than as a friend." She puts down the spoon and looks at me. I raise my hands up in defeat. "Fine. I won't talk about it anymore."

She continues eating and I glanced at the clock. "I have to pick Soah. I'll be back with her so finish that okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

I head downstairs and out to my car. I start the engine and hit the accelerator. I glanced at my watch and continued driving. I arrived at Soah's daycare so I pulled over to the side and parked the car.

"Soah!" I called as she played at the swing. She turns recognizing my voice and smiles.

"Uncle!" She shouts and run to where I am. I sat welcoming her in my arms and carried her. She chuckled and hugs me back. "Where's Mommy?"

"She's sick and resting."

"Is mommy going to be okay?"

"She will be. Wanna stop by and eat some shaved ice?"

"Yes!" She says and we head back to the car.

"First step?"

"Put on seatbelt!" She grabs the seatbelt from the side and slides it in to her.

"Second?"

"Push to secure!" She secures herself and smiles.

"Third?"

"Wait for your destination!" I chuckled at her cuteness. Lu Han, are you seeing this? You made a daughter this adorable. I started driving until we reached the shop. I helped Soah off from the car and carried her.

"Uncle, can we get strawberry for Mommy?"

"Sure." I replied. "One medium sized mango shaved ice and one small strawberry to go." I paid for our food and we walked to the booth. I placed Soah to her seat and gave her the spoon.

"Yum!"

"Is it?" I smile watching her. She stops and looks to her left.

"Uncle Chanyeol!" She gets off from her seat and ran towards the booth in our left. He's here. Park Chanyeol.