Death only brings sadness. Mankind has conquered air, water, everything…except for death. But there is reason. Death is part of Mother Nature. Not everyone can simply conquer death. Only those that are worthy can obtain immortality…

After reading the message for the umpteenth time, I placed the small paper into the very back of my bottom drawer. It was like a daily ritual. I would read the message, get confused, and put it back into the drawer. I had a pretty good hold on what the message was talking about. But what did it have to do with us? Why did our boss send it to us?

Anyway, deciphering the cryptic message wasn’t exactly my top priority. I had other things to worry about in the morning such as what I was going to wear today. I had to choose something nice; after all, I was going on a “date” with Tiffany.

I was excited but then again, I wasn’t really that excited. I mean, Siwon was going to be there and that already ruined my mood. But hey, Tiffany invited me. I should at least be proud of that, right?

I walked into the kitchen and looked out the window. The sun’s strong rays of light were peeking out of the large mat of clouds in the sky. Smiling at the good weather, I walked over to the beds. I grabbed a sky blue dress shirt from my neatly folded pile of clothes and put it on over the white top that I was wearing. I put on my favorite blue skinny jeans that I finally found under Sooyoung’s mess of clothes. Seriously, she needs to stop throwing her clothes all over the place.

I strolled into the white bathroom and stared at the mirror. Tying up my hair into a ponytail, I took one last look at myself in the mirror…I looked pretty good if I say so myself. I smiled…nothing stuck on my teeth. Nice. I unrolled the sleeves of my dress shirt. No one really needed to see my bandaged forearm. Last but not least, I carefully wrapped the key necklace around my neck.

I grinned again in front of the mirror. I was lucky that I was the only one inside the dorm room right now. If any of them caught me fussing like this, I would never be able to live it down.

*Knock Knock*

My heart practically jumped out of my chest as I heard the familiar sound of knuckles hitting wood. I crawled over toward the door. Standing up, I turned then pulled on the knob. The door creaked open. “Hello?”

I heard an all too familiar squeal. “Wahh…TaeTae, you looks so pretty today!” Tiffany slightly moved her head in a vertical motion as she looked at me from head to toe through her dark sunglasses.

“Th-Thank you…” I mumbled as a heavy blush appeared on my facial features.

“How do I look?”

Tiffany was wearing a white T-shirt accompanied with a black vest. The lock necklace was slightly dangling from her neck. A pink strap diagonally crossed her body connecting with the pink satchel lying comfortably on her wide hip. She wore black skinny jeans that clearly defined her honey thighs.

“You’re awfully monochrome…besides the bag.”

Tiffany puffed her pink lips out to form her adorable pout. “Blame Jessica for that. Black and white only, she says. But did you see these?” She proudly pointed at her white sneakers that were painted with pink streaks.

“Oh. They’re…pink.”

“I can’t live without pink which is why I brought my favorite cap with me too~”

From her satchel, Tiffany pulled out her ‘favorite’ cap. My pink cap. “Want to wear it?” she asked me.

“No thanks.”

“Aww…I think you look good in pink,” huffed Tiffany. She then placed the cap on her head, adjusting it until the cap laid snug on her head.

It was true. I did look pretty good in pink but let’s not get conceited here.

“A-Anyway, sha'll we start heading over to the parlor? Siwon’s waiting, right?” I said. I could care less if Siwon waited a whole year for us to get there but I really wanted to get it over with. No Siwon made a happier me.

“Oh yeah,” remarked Tiffany as if she had totally forgotten about it. “It’s alright, though. Siwon likes to be at least an hour early to everything. Making him wait a little longer won’t hurt, right?”

“Yeah…but we should hurry up and go anyway.” I locked the door behind me and gently pushed Tiffany to start walking.

Tiffany let out a small huff as she walked beside me. “Do you really want to Siwon that badly?”

“No!” I yelled. “Ah…sorry for yelling. Just don’t put me, Siwon, and love in the same sentence. Don’t even try to imply it.”

Hopefully, this time Tiffany would get the idea that I liked Siwon as much as I liked Sooyoung taking all of my food or Yuri pulling her dumb pranks on me or…you get the point.

Tiffany giggled. “Okay~” she sang with a large smile on her face.

As we walked out the dorm building, I felt Tiffany’s fingers trail down my left arm. She then tangled her fingers with my own, causing me to slightly jump at the sudden contact.

I stared at our connected hands. Could this be a sign that Tiffany might like me? And that kiss was still in my mind…

“What’s wrong, TaeTae?”

“Oh…Nothing. You just surprised me.” To break my train of thought, I started to swing our arms back and forth.

Holding hands…between women…this is nothing. We were just friends. Tiffany only saw me as a friend.

***

Tiffany let go of my hand as we walked inside the ice cream parlor. While Tiffany was searching for Siwon, I stared at my now partnerless hand. I slowly closed my fingers into a ball, clutching the empty space that Tiffany had left in my palm.

“Ah! I found him!” I heard Tiffany yell to me.

I looked up from my hand and saw Tiffany walk over to the muscular man sitting alone at a table near the large window. In small steps, I followed Tiffany dodging the people randomly strewn about in the store.

Upon reaching my destination, Tiffany led me to the seat opposite of Siwon. Tiffany then sat on the chair closest to me. Taking off her sunglasses, Tiffany spoke up to break the stiff silence, “Hey, Siwon. How long were you waiting?”

“Not that long. I could wait a year for you.”

Tiffany smiled at me with a “Told you” look in her eyes. Apparently, she was used to Siwon’s cheesy lines considering how she just completely ignored him.

“Do you want anything to eat, Tiffany? It’ll be my treat,” said Siwon.

“Hmm…I guess a little snack won’t hurt. What do you want to eat, TaeTae?”

“Whatever you want to eat is fine with me,” I smiled.

“That’s no help at all.” Tiffany pouted as she took a number of bills from Siwon’s hand.

As she was standing up to leave, I grabbed her shirt. “I’ll go order!” I offered.

“No. I’ll go order,” I heard Siwon say a few milliseconds after my offer.

Tiffany looked at me then at Siwon. “Uhh…Thanks guys but I can get it myself.” Her sweet smile appeared as she left the table.

I glanced at Siwon to see that he was staring at me. Figures. I probably ruined his moment of wooing Tiffany. I narrowed my eyes at Siwon, making sure that my glare was extra menacing.

For about a few minutes, our glaring contest continued until Tiffany came back with a bowl of ice cream. As soon as Tiffany’s presence was in sight, Siwon had shifted his attention from me to her.

“TaeTae! I got you your favorite ice cream!” Tiffany energetically dropped the bowl of sweet contents in front of me. She then stuck three spoons into the bowl. “We can share.”

I gazed at the light green color of the ice cream and I could already feel my mouth watering looking at the chocolate chunks embedded into the ice cream.

“How’d you know that my favorite ice cream was mint chocolate?” I asked Tiffany. I was pretty sure that I never told her about my favorite ice cream. Heck, I don’t think I ever told her anything about my preferences.

“Every time we come here, you always order this,” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“…You noticed?”

Tiffany’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “W-Well, it’s not-”

“So Tiffany, why did you want me here again?” interrupted Siwon.

Tch. I should’ve figured Siwon would interrupt us at the most inopportune times.

Tiffany blinked twice until she finally remembered why Siwon was here in the first place. “Oh, I almost forgot!’

“You’re pretty forgetful today,” I noted before shoving a mouthful of ice cream in my mouth.

“It’s your fault for distracting me,” she huffed, folding her arms in annoyance.

The cold substance slid down my throat. “What? What did I do?” I asked in confusion.

Inaudible words escaped from Tiffany’s lips.

I leaned closer to her. “I can’t hear you.”

“Ahem,” Siwon coughed trying to gain our attention. He smiled the annoyingly fake smile. “Should we get back on topic?”

“See? You distracted me again, TaeTae,” said Tiffany.

So not only was I naturally embarrassing according to Sooyoung, I was now apparently naturally distracting. Awesome. I went back to eating the ice cream which no one else was touching.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tiffany searching through her bag with a concentrated expression. “Found it,” I heard her say under her breath. Tiffany gently took out several sealed envelopes and placed them on the table.

Siwon raised one of his thick eyebrows in confusion. He picked up one of the envelopes and waved it in the air. “You want me to write you a letter?”

“No,” Tiffany said slowly. “And don’t wave those around. They’re important.”

Dutifully following Tiffany’s command, Siwon placed the white envelope with the rest of the pile. “Sorry. So what do I have to do with this?” he asked.

Tiffany organized the pile of envelopes into a clean stack. She then placed the stack of envelopes on Siwon’s palm. “I want you to give these to my dad.”

“Your dad? Well, that’s easy enough.”

“Don’t let anyone know about this. No one besides me, TaeTae, and you. Don’t let anyone see or even touch those envelopes except for my dad. Oh, and don’t you dare read them.”  Tiffany’s harsh tone left the table in shocked silence.

“…Ah, alright then. I’ll make sure these get to your dad,” Siwon mumbled. He dropped the stack of envelopes into the messenger bag sitting next to him.

“Thank you so much.” Tiffany smiled largely as water started to well up in her eyes. Using her sleeve, she quickly wiped away the tears. 

I could feel the ice cream slowly melt in my mouth as Tiffany’s words sank into my brain. If I remembered correctly, Tiffany was allowed no contact with her father under any circumstances. …But what was I supposed to do? Grab the envelopes, run away, and then burn them? I was supposed to stop her?

I bit my lower lip in frustration. You can’t trace back letters to the owner that easily. I could let this through. There was no way they could find Tiffany.

I jabbed at the melting ice cream in the bowl. There was no way I could tear away Tiffany’s last chance of contact with her dad from her. She seemed so hopeful. It was almost childish how hopeful she was. And that was what made it worse for me to try to stop her. It was almost like…that hope was all she had left.

Tiffany’s husky voice suddenly entered my ears, snapping me back to reality. “TaeTae!”

I blinked. ”Huh? What?”

“You were really out of it…But anyway; please don’t tell Jessica or anyone about this. Please?”

“…Of course. Anything for you.”

I made up my mind. Seeing Tiffany cry was heartbreaking. Seeing Tiffany cry because of me would kill me. So I decided…

…As long as Tiffany was happy, I would be happy. As long as Tiffany was by my side, I was content with life. No matter how stupid Tiffany’s decisions were, I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

All the risks in life I would take as long as Tiffany was happy.

Sounds stupid? Yes, it probably does. But it was my decision. And it was final. It was a promise to myself and I intended to keep it.

“TaeTae? Are you okay? You’ve been really out of it lately,” said Tiffany in a worried tone.

“Ah? It’s nothing…I was just thinking.” I started scraping the last bits of ice cream into my spoon.

“So Tiffany…what do I get for doing this favor for you?” Siwon asked with a wide smile on his face.

“…I thought you would do it because I was your friend.”

Siwon softly chuckled. “Tiffany, I think we have to make things clear. I like you.”

My jaw dropped at his sudden confession. Was he trying to turn me into a third wheel here? Oh God, what if Tiffany had feelings for him?

To my relief, Tiffany sighed in annoyance. “You’ve made this clear about 5 times now, Siwon. And once again, I can only see you as a friend.”

Siwon’s smile slightly broke, his lips twitching. “Shame. But you know…you should get yourself a boyfriend sooner or later. Or do you plan to stay single your entire life?”

A large blush appeared on Tiffany’s face. “Yah! You’re not supposed to tell anyone!” Tiffany looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “Waahhh. Now TaeTae knows!” Tiffany cried as she laid her face on the table.

I gently patted Tiffany’s back. “I-It’s alright.”

Tiffany raised her head from the table. “J-Just so you know, I didn’t date anybody because most of them had ulterior motives. I just didn’t want to feel betrayed,” sputtered Tiffany.

I nodded in agreement. My heart squeezed at the word “heartbroken.”

“You know I would never betray you, Tiffany.” Siwon took her hand into his own.

Oh God, please not this crap again. Thankfully, Tiffany decided to do my job for me, quickly slipping her hand off of Siwon’s.

“Sorry, Siwon,” apologized Tiffany. “But you’re more like a brother than anything.”

~Hey! I’m Mr. Simple~

Siwon fished out his phone from his messenger bag as the muffled ring tone continued to play. As he read the text, Siwon opened his mouth to speak. “Sorry, Tiffany. Leeteuk wants me over right now.” Siwon got up from his seat, swinging his bag on his back. “I’ll make sure the letters are sent back safely to your dad,” he winked.

“Oh! Remember to tell him to write back,” reminded Tiffany. “Hand deliver them back, alright?”

“Aish. Alright,” said Siwon. After Siwon finally left, my muscles relaxed.

Well, that meeting could’ve gone way worse.

“Hmm…it’s still early. Yah, TaeTae. Want to go somewhere?”

“Like where?”

“How about the amusement park?” Tiffany suggested. “I haven’t been there in such a long time.”

“Why not?” I smiled.

“Yes!” Tiffany jumped out of her seat. She grabbed my hand and we both ran out of the door.

As we were walking to the nearest bus stop, Tiffany asked me a rather strange question. “Hey, Taeyeon. Have you ever fallen in love?”

Yes. Right now. With you. The words were caught in my throat as I tried to tell her. But they never unraveled from the net that my heart created. I mentally hit myself. Why was I such a wimp? Oh yeah, the memories of her were coming back.

“Yeah,” was all I could manage to escape out of my mouth.

“So…were you able to confess?”

I tightly closed my eyes trying to repress the memory. “Yeah.”

Tiffany frowned, her eyes filled with emotion. “I’m sorry, TaeTae. This must be painful for you.”

“No, it’s alright.” I let out a deep breath. Maybe it was about time that I let out this painful memory. “So I confessed to this…girl.” I stopped talking, wondering how Tiffany would react to me being gay.

Tiffany just nodded at me, expressionless.

“And well, she agreed to date with me. Back then, I was really just a blind idiot. I was so happy when we went on our small dates.” My voice was shaky and I was about to break in tears.

Tiffany sensed this and tightly squeezed my hand. “You don’t have to go on.”

I shook my head. “So one day, I realized…she was just playing with me. Apparently, she was one hundred percent straight and she only dated me just for “fun.” She just wanted to see how being gay was like. And wasn’t it just a blast for her. I was just a toy to her. And once she was bored of me, she just threw me away in the trash,” I bitterly laughed. “I really should’ve known. Whenever I tried to kiss her, she would always back away from me. I’m really the only loser here.”

“TaeTae…” Tiffany choked.

“Sorry for making you listen to my sob story. But it felt nice to let it off my chest.”

“TaeTae…” I ignored her. I didn’t want to look in her eyes.

“Now the mood’s all gloomy. All thanks to me. How are we supposed to go to the amusement park with such a depressing atmosphere?”

“TaeTae…” Tiffany said in a louder, more demanding voice. I looked up toward her wet eyes. “Someone like you…shouldn’t deserve something like this. That girl. She’s cruel. She…She just lost her chance. If I were dating you, then I would never let such a thing happen. I would make you happy.”

My heart began pumping harder. I placed my fingers on Tiffany’s cheek and move them downward onto her chin. In a breathy voice, the words I always wanted to say to her finally escaped from my throat, “Then date me.”