no offense but love scenerio is soty no matter what anyone says. thx for coming to my ted talk.

chapter xx. | no turning back

“How’s he holding up?”

Outside the training room, which was nothing more than a dingy space in a gym that the boys frequented, Seunghoon acknowledged their leader with a nod before looking back through the window of the door.

“Looking good. B.I barely got hit,” he said proudly. “Can’t say the same for our Taehyunie though.”

A usual “hm,” came from Mino but a smirk dangled from his lips. In just a week, the notorious match that everyone has been looking forward to will take place. And B.I was more determined than ever.

“We might just win this,” Seunghoon added.

“We’ll see,” said Mino.

He was impressed with that nasty-looking cut on Taehyun’s lip. He hadn’t seen the blonde guy this wrecked and to think that Hanbin did that? It was always the opposite way around.

Still, Mino wouldn’t get ahead of himself because he still remembered the formidable force that was Jung Jaewon. Hanbin was barely breathing when they found him in the shipyard.

“Maybe, we should throw a party.”

Mino narrowed his eyes. “What the hell do you mean a party?”

Seunghoon let out a laugh. “Okay, maybe not a party but just something to take the tension off a bit.”

“You and Yoon getting bored or what?”

“Maybe. C’mon, why not? It’ll be a small one.”

Mino made a sound akin to snort. He was right about one thing. The past few weeks hadn’t been easy with all the mess they got into because of B.I and that girl.

“Well, I’m not throwing it. I’m busy.”

He turned to walk past Seunghoon, who cocked a hip out, victory gilding his grin.

“Great, I’ll send the invites out by tonight.”

To say, Jinwoo had been pleased to greet the limping men would be a lie. As Taehyun plopped down with a hiss and Hanbin barely managed to reach the sofa, he reprimanded them both though it was useless. They were only doing what they were supposed to.

“Where’s the girl?” Taehyun spoke up as Jinwoo clipped the bandage around his torso. Whether it was directed at him or their doctor, it was Hanbin who responded.

“Errands.”

“Did she get tired of playing assistant?”

Jinwoo answered this time. “As much as I love her help, I’d prefer if Hayi got involved in this less and less.”

“That’s cute, Jinu. But isn’t it already too late?” Taehyun droned on.

Hanbin would’ve retorted if the words he said to Hayi hadn’t come back to him then. He masked his doubt the best he could.  

“After the match, she’ll walk away from all this,” he found himself saying.

There was no quick response, and it made him sound a hell lot less convincing.

“Really?” His trainer still had the nerve to say. “How are you doing to do that?”

“I don’t know but she will.” He breathed through his nose. “I’ll make sure of it.”

It was by lunch the next day did Hayi check on his wounds. Mumbling the same sort of things that Jinwoo did whenever he did it himself, he watched her busy herself with his bandages under his uniform and reapply the concealer over his bruises.

Luckily being a couple now gave them all the privacy they needed. Though that was always the case with them because Hayi had always been a special case.  

The sun was balmy where they sat against the wall of the old senior building. As ominous as the place looked, it quickly became their spot. No one else knew they came here and it gave Hanbin the courage to pull her into his lap.

“Hey,” she scolded, “I’m trying to fix your make-up here.”

His arms s around her waist, pulling her closer until her head hung over him. As she dotted the cream over his jaw, she blocked the sun, creating a radiance about her form.

“An angel,” he mumbled.

A smile crossed her lips. “A what?”

“An angel, Hayi. You’re an angel.”

She made a face, just as the breeze rustled the trees around them, joining the chorus of their chuckles after.

“So you’re going to that thing they’re throwing tonight?” she started conversationally.

He tried not to frown. “I don’t know.”

“They’d want you to go, right?”

“It’s supposed to be a break from the stress,” he said carefully. “But I know that’s just an excuse for them to get trashed on the weekend. It’s not going to help me focus.”

“Constantly stressing over it doesn’t help either.”

He pressed his lips together at that. She had a point.

“Look, I know but Yi, it’s probably better if we don’t.”

Hayi’s hands on him fell away. Sealing the bottle of concealer and wiping her hand on her knee, she returned her attention on him. 

“You think I don’t notice these circles under your eyes?” The concern in her eyes flared. “You may be tired physically but I know your brain isn’t letting you rest either.”

Hanbin let his lids close. Giving in, a sigh caved over him, his head knocking into her chin. Her gentle touch returned, a thumb caressing over his hairline.  

“You know I’d normally say the opposite, especially knowing it’s them throwing it, but maybe you should go,” she said softly.  

“They invited them. Bobby and everyone else. It’s just like before.”

At this, Hayi drew back. “What?”

“Bobby told me about it this morning. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to go. I thought it would discourage them.”

“And did it?”

“No. They said exams are killing them and they’ve always looked up to those hyungs.”

His girlfriend became as crestfallen as he did.

“Then all more reason to go,” she said.

“Yeah, I was planning to. It’s just…you. It’s you I don’t want to go.”

The press of Hayi’s gaze already told him the answer before she voiced it.

“I’m going, Hanbin.”

“I know.”

The night of the event, they dressed together in Hayi’s house. With his healing body, Hayi had to help him pull on a dress shirt and brush his hair for him. Hanbin was conflicted; this feeling of making her do everything for him. It contradicted what he told Taehyun.

 “You’re not my slave.”

“I am not,” she confirmed.

“So stop.”

He pulled away from her, turning her around until she was facing the mirror on the dresser. His lips landed on the back of her neck, sending a tremor all over her. A soft sigh of his name slipped out.

The simmer would dwindle when he zipped up the rest of her dress that she neglected in her hurry to help him. His eyes caught hers in the mirror, and she relaxed.

“You look pretty, Yi.”

Her hair wasn’t curled this time and she chose the first dress in sight. Instead of meticulously preparing like before, she was too busy with him.

She leaned back on him, his arms automatically going around her.

“Thanks, Hanbin.”

He dropped a kiss on her forehead in return.  

With these sweet gestures borne out of the feelings they had for each other, it was unfair that he felt guilty at the same time. If only that discussion with his hyungs didn’t haunt him now.

It worsened by the hour, Hayi lingering around him during a gathering that the Seunghoon threw together last minute. Though Jisoo and Suhyun had long pulled her away, he still felt her stare.

This was what he wanted. Orbiting each other like this, eyes only each other and yet he was questioning it.

“What’s up with you?” Jinhwan nudged at him and he realised he had been talking to him this whole time. He shifted in his seat of the patio table they were sitting at. He apologised.

“It’s nothing, hyung.”

“Oh, really? You and Hayi are surprisingly separated. Did you guys fight?”

“No. The girls just happened to take her away is all.”

Jinhwan hummed. “Well, you’ve been staring. And she as well when you aren’t looking.”

Right, he thought solemnly as he stared at his bottle.

“I think it’s nice,” the older male resumed. “Watching her take care of you and you finally letting her. Hayi has always cared about you.”

He swallowed, palms growing cold at the grip of the bottle in his hand.

“I know that. It’s just, sometimes, I believe she deserves better.”

That earned him a look.

“And you’re just now thinking that after getting together? Oh, Hanbin.”

His grip turned white. “Yeah, I’m stupid. Maybe, I shouldn’t have…”

A hand landed on his shoulder.

“You are stupid, Hanbin. You’re stupid for doubting now.”

There was a response on his tongue, ready to be fired when two pairs of feet halted by them.

“Doubt what?” It was Bobby.

“I heard stupid,” Yunhyeong from beside him said after a swig of his drink.

At the sight of his other friends, his mouth sealed shut but Jinhwan had no qualms reciting what they were just talking about. The two older guys shot him incredulous looks.

“I feel sorry for Hayi,” Yunhyeong remarked.

Bobby flicked him on the forehead. “Me too.”

He rubbed the tender spot with a glare.

“You guys don’t know anything.”

“We don’t need to,” Jinhwan tsked. “All we care about is you not hurting Hayi who had always been there for you. Who are you to decide for her?”

Hanbin stopped.

“Seriously, she deserves an award for putting up with your when we couldn’t.”

His felt his insides coil.

“I don’t want to hurt her.”

“You doubting what you both have will,” he heard Bobby sigh.

He felt someone ruffle his hair. He knew who it was by just the weight of the hand.

“Hanbin-ah,” Yunhyeong started. “We know you’ve been bottling up a lot of things lately and that’s why we’ve been patient. And we still are. Just don’t shut out Hayi again. Not her.”

The guilt that swept over him was immense. It had him excusing himself with a mumble. All this time, it had always ever been about him; the tempest they fought to contain. Now, he was only just realising it.

He hadn’t just been taking Hayi for granted but them. His friends.

Yunhyeong said they can wait but it was if they have already given up, letting Hayi be their means of a way to him. And